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By the cracks of its skin I climbed to the top

I climbed the tree to see the world

When the gusts came around to blow me down

Held on as tightly as you held on me

(The Cinematic Orchestra)

---

I considered myself a pretty stealthy person. Years of sneaking around the house to avoid my father's wrath had taught me how to move silently and avoid notice. But nothing could have prepared me for the Bureau of Defense facility that Warren had somehow managed to talk me into entering with him. This place had the works--motion detectors, closed-circuit cameras, and basically every other security measure anyone had ever cooked up.

But with Warren's help, I managed to navigate my way through the winding corridors and confusing network of rooms that comprised the facility without so much as a couple near misses. It had been a crazy trip, but peeking around the doorway leading into one of the innermost rooms of the complex, nothing could have prepared me for everything that followed.

Tabitha was detained there, just as Warren had postulated. But she wasn't in good shape at all. Over a dozen lengths of thick cabling kept the gigantic ferretess secured in a prone position. Her body was stripped of clothing, her face was contorted in pain and fear. Worst of all, I could see a red fox making his casual, devious way down the length of her torso.

Any lingering resentment toward Tabitha dissipated in an instant. This wasn't right or fair in the least. I didn't want any of this to happen to my dear, sweet Tab. An intervention needed to happen, and fast. It took every ounce of self-control available to me not to just run out there and beat the shit out of the fox.

"What are we going to do?" I hissed to Warren. "How are we going to get him away from Tab?"

When I received no response, I glanced over my shoulder. My companion was gone. Moments later, every alarm in the place went off. The fox who had been tormenting Tabitha disappeared through a door on the far side of the room. Well, there was the diversion we needed...

Taking what I supposed was my cue, I dashed toward the massive ferretess. How on earth was I going to free her from those bonds? If a giantess couldn't break them, how could I stand a chance?

*****

I craned my neck around, beaming broadly as I saw Ciaran standing anxiously next to me, dressed up like a cat burglar in a close-fitting black outfit. Relief couldn't even begin to describe my emotions. I wanted to kiss him so badly--I needed to.

As if sensing my desire, Ciaran approached my face, brushing his lips tenderly against my lower lip. A great sob escaped me, knocking Ciaran back a few steps. As much as I wanted to tell the mink everything that had happened to me, how scared I was, I knew we needed to get out of there. But how?

"Have you tried the cables?" Ciaran asked.

I nodded numbly. "No dice. I can't do anything. And they're electrified, too. He's been shocking me,"

"Oh, Tab..."

Ciaran paced back in forth, studying every detail of the room intently. I did the best I could to help, looking around as much as my limited locomotion would allow. The mink let out a whoop, sprinting across the room for a small panel in the wall that I hadn't noticed before. He studied it for a few moments before pushing a couple of buttons.

Almost instantaneously, I felt the force that had kept the cables so taut release. I sat up effortlessly, the slack bonds bursting across my chest. I tore away the remainder of the lengths of cable, sitting cross-legged in the center of the room with my head bowed, brushing the ceiling.

"That was kinda sexy, you know," Ciaran mumbled, making his way back toward me.

I grinned back at him, setting my hand down on the ground. No more just plucking Ciaran up like a cell phone or something. The mink clambered gladly on, hunkering down in my palm.

"How did you get here?" I breathed.

"I had help. It's a long story, and we have to get out of here. Now," Ciaran replied, glancing around nervously.

He perked up, pointing at something or someone to my left. My eyes followed Ciaran's hand, landing on a slender red fox dressed in similar fashion to my boyfriend.

"Roger!" I breathed.

Setting Ciaran back on the ground, I tried to make my way over to the fox, but was unsteady on my hands and knees. I yelped again as the fox jabbed me in the wrist with an obscenely large needle.

"What the fuck was that for, Roger?" I snapped, massaging my hand.

"It's Warren, for one thing," the fox replied shortly. "For another, they had you pumped full of sedatives. That shot'll get you back in business in a few minutes here, but it's not entirely painless. Sorry. Shoulda warned you,"

"Warren? Who are you? What the fuck is going on?" I couldn't tell whether it was my muddled head or just a fucking weird situation. My life had too many of those.

"I'm Roger's twin brother. But, unlike him, I actually get shit done on occasion," I could tell he'd rehearsed and used that little speech countless times. "We need to get going. Now. The little diversion I arranged won't keep our friends distracted for that long. Everything else can wait,"

"There are more of you?" I mumbled rubbing my head, still unable to get past the whole twin thing.

"The world needed me to cancel out my bro. He might tell you the opposite, but don't believe him," the red fox snorted in response.

Already beginning to feel a lot more alert (and angrier by the minute), I followed behind the fox and mink on all fours as they hurried toward the far side of the space. Warren gave the great sliding door that must have been my route of entry a shove, and I pushed it open the rest of the way.

"You look really cute in black, by the way," I whispered to Ciaran as he scurried through the sliding door ahead of me. His gait was a little unsteady. I hoped the broken ribs weren't paining him too much.

"Well, you look really hot in naked," he giggled in response.

Warren offered no verbal input, but his entire body read 'eye-roll'.

I don't know what I'd been expecting, but the building--compound, whatever it was--didn't end there. A long corridor stretched ahead of us, with numerous hallways and passages veering off in every direction.

"Where the fuck are we?" I muttered, but Warren seemed too busy to offer a response. He was checking every doorway he passed, clutching a pistol in his hand. As we approached what appeared to be a pretty major intersection, he held up a hand for Ciaran and I to stop.

"The door to the exterior is right around this corner," he told us. "You two hold tight for a couple minutes while I go scope out the situation. This entire compound will be on full alert by now. That means operatives everywhere. Everywhere. All looking for you, Tab. If I don't come back in five minutes... well, I will,"

As Warren darted around the corner, I scooped Ciaran up. Momentarily setting aside all reserve, I clutched the mink to my face. He didn't have a chance to get a word in edgewise as I kissed him as passionately and aggressively as I could muster while not re-fracturing anything. I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes as I caressed his body with my lips.

"You came for me," I smiled.

"Tab," Ciaran was sobbing. "What have they done to you?"

"He... he tried to rape me. He touched me. I don't know what's happening. I don't know why I'm here. I just want to go home,"

"That's what we're here for," Ciaran smiled thinly.

I rubbed my boyfriend's cheek with the tip of my thumb, unable to find any words. Big tears were welling in my eyes and I was beaming. In the back of my head, though, something seemed... off. Probably just me being stupid.

"Can we talk? I want to apologize for hurting you like I did," I mumbled, suddenly feeling awkward. I couldn't avoid it any longer.

Ciaran's eyes promptly glazed over. Oh, shit. I didn't want him to shut me out like he had been. I wanted to make things right, as right as I could, anyway.

A door slamming followed by the scuffle of hurried footsteps shook me from my thoughts. Leaning over Ciaran, I peeked around the corner. A single guard was sprinting down the hallway straight towards the pair of us, Warren in hot pursuit. The guard was pulling out a semiautomatic rifle.

"Smash him!" Warren bellowed, running after him. "You have to smash him! Do it now!"

I squeaked, but acted blindly, raising my free fist into the air before bringing it down on top of the thug, hard. Cringing as I felt his body crumple under my hand, I drove him into the ground. He was twitching slightly when I lifted my hand away. I smashed my fist into him several more times, wailing away on the poor sap until Ciaran cried out for me to stop. There was nothing but a pulpy mass left behind. My stomach lurched and I gagged.

"Good," Warren said as I let Ciaran slip to the floor. "He's taken care of,"

"I'm going to be sick," I breathed, wiping a few final bits of guard off my hand onto the wall and feeling green, and by green, I mean the greenest shade of green you could possibly imagine. Like if the Jolly Green Giant got food poisoning or something. I had just taken someone's life. I had crushed him under my hand. Shit. My body was starting to go numb.

When I looked back at Warren, he was staring up at me with the same unnerving emerald gaze as his brother. It was really kind of scary. "Remember what Roger told you about being a good little girl?"

"Yeah..." I responded tentatively. "Why?"

"Well, you're going to need to put that all aside for the time being,"

"What are you talking about?" I was starting to get worried. Warren wasn't doing anything to assuage my nausea.

"There are at least two dozen guys out there, all of them ready to kill us. We're going to have to make sure that doesn't happen. And there's no way in hell I can take all of them out myself,"

"I'm not going to--I can't--"

"There's no room for any of that. You're 90 feet tall. You could crush all of those buggers like insects without batting an eyelash. Extreme? Yes. But better than body bags for all of us. Just... clear a way,"

"I can't," I repeated hollowly, eyes wide.

I had been furious, but now that rage was mixed with a healthy dose of anxiety. I didn't want to die. I was 18 years old. I was too young to die.

"You can't be scared," Warren said softly. "Look, Tab. Rodge is right: you do need to be careful. But not all the time. Sometimes, you have to put all that aside for a bit. Sometimes, you just have to get your fee fi fo fum on,"

I gulped. Staring down at the fox, it was clear he wasn't budging on the issue. Oh fuck. There was no way I could get out of this.

"I hate you," I hissed.

"That's fine. But at least you'll live to do that," he replied shortly. "Let's get to that door. You'll head out first. Ciaran and I will be right behind you,"

It was only a short crawl to the door, but every yard felt like a mile. My heart was racing a million miles an hour and I could hardly breathe. What would it be like to die? Would it hurt? I just wished I'd had time to kiss Ciaran one last time. Or maybe have sex with him. Yeah, the latter would be nice. At the least, it would do something to get rid of those horrible lingering memories of Todd.

After taking a few deep breaths, I pushed open the door and surged out, getting to my feet. Standing up to my full height, I squinted and blinked in the harsh glare of the sun, trying to regain my bearings. Once I did, all hell broke loose.

A pissed-off ferret girl is something you don't want to encounter. A pissed-off 90-foot ferret girl is a force to be reckoned with. Two were dead before anyone could react, crushed underfoot as I stormed across the courtyard. There were shouts and I cried out in surprise as I felt shots being fired at me, but they did little more than irritate me. Nothing compared to Todd's electroshock wonderland.

Plucking a thug off the chest-high wall surrounding the courtyard, I squeezed him hard. He yelped loudly, but suddenly fell silent as I kept squeezing. Dropping his broken body to the ground, I swept my arm along the wall, knocking the few who had come up to reinforce off the edge.

They were swarming around my ankles by then. Fucking insects. I was too angry to notice my fear anymore. This needed to end. Now.

The group scattered as I dropped to my knees. It was so easy to crush them under my feet and palms. Didn't take any effort at all. Hell, I didn't even need to think all that much, just move. And they just... died.

By this point, the tide had turned--the thugs who had been so focused on subduing me were now more intent on saving their own pathetic hides. That wasn't going to happen. Not if I had anything to say about it. Well, do, I supposed.

I smiled darkly as I advanced slowly on them on all fours. Something inside me had snapped. This wasn't a necessary evil or even scary anymore; it was downright _pleasurable. _These insectile bastards had attempted to hold a girl almost as tall as the Statue of Liberty captive. Well, that was the biggest mistake they would ever make, in every sense of the term. I was going to kill them all, and I would be sure to have a good time doing it. They were all so deeply fucked it wasn't even funny. To them, at least. Personally, I found it pretty amusing. Hell, I wanted to drag this out a little. I waited until their backs were against the wall before I acted any further.

Snatching up two thugs, one in each hand, I sat back, resting on my haunches. Wordlessly, I stuffed one into my mouth, tearing him in half with my teeth and spitting him out.

I could feel the other thug quaking in my grip. He was trembling like a godsdamn leaf. Good. Raising him to face-level, I grinned broadly, licking my lips. That didn't seem to do much for his state of mind.

"Now. Unless you want me to do the same to you, you're going to tell me where Todd Hawthorne is," I hissed, my eyes flashing.

I didn't care if it meant more time before I got out of here. I wanted Todd in my hand, suffering, and then dead. There were things playing in the fringes of my subconscious. Dark things. Things that I wanted to do to that fox.

"I--I don't know where he is!" the bear in my grip gasped. "Please. I haven't seen him since..."

"Since when? Since when he tried to rape me? Since when he hurt me, over and over and over?"

I squeezed. I could hear bones cracking and the thug screamed. Maybe he'd be more amenable to sharing information. No? Too bad. What a shame. For him, at least. Ripping him limb from limb was kind of fun.

Wiping off the bear's remains on the wall, I lay out on my stomach, kicking up my legs behind me. I smiled sweetly at the remaining thug, flat against the wall.

"Feel like sharing? Or do I get to come up with some fun new way of killing you, too?" I asked, my tone saccharine.

The guard, a burly fisher, let out a girlish scream as my hand roughly encircled his body. I laughed. What a fucking pussy.

Getting the sense that he wasn't going to be forthcoming on Todd's whereabouts, and because I wanted some more fun, I murmured, "You know, I've been 90 feet tall for months now. And I haven't once eaten anyone. Wouldn't it be a shame for me to do this whole angry-rampaging-giantess thing and not eat at least one person? And seeing as you're the last one, well..." I trailed off ambiguously.

"Please don't... I don't know anything..." the fisher blubbered like a fucking baby.

"Take off your fucking clothes. I don't want to have to deal with all that cotton and shit," I ordered, opening my hand so that he was standing in the center of my palm.

Glancing idly over my shoulder, I noticed Ciaran, still over by the main doors. He stood stock still next to a stony-faced Warren, glassy eyes wide and jaw slightly slack.

It all hit me at once. I'd just murdered two dozen people in cold blood. I was about to eat a person, just because I thought it would be fun. It was... oh gods. Oh gods. Everything that anyone had ever cautioned me against had happened. Oh gods. And the fisher--I was fucking torturing him. I was just as bad as Todd. I had to go.

The fisher slipped through my fingers to the ground as I stumbled unsteadily to my feet. Sick to my stomach, I vaulted over the chest-high perimeter fence and dashed clear through the chain link secondary fence, barely noticing it as it crumpled under my weight. Blinded by tears, I kept running until I was hip-deep in forest.

Stumbling upon a clearing, I sat down, hugging my knees to my chest and rocking back and forth gently. Oh gods. I needed to be alone. Not that I had much of a choice in the matter. I was going to be alone forever. I needed to be alone, if only to make sure I didn't hurt someone else. I'd tried to be normal, but that wasn't possible. I'd hurt Ciaran, killed dozens of people in a fit of rage, and planned--delighted in--doing even worse to Todd. Being a giantess had made me into a monster.

*****

The force of Tabitha's flight knocked me clear off my feet. Fortunately, Warren was there to cushion my landing. Unfortunately for Warren, the concrete ground was there to cushion his. Apologizing fervently, I helped the fox back to his feet after I rolled off him.

"Dammit! Now she's going off gods know where... damage control all over again," Warren cursed to himself, massaging his ass.

My jaw dropped. Again. It had been slack for many of the prior minutes in light of Tabitha's turn for the darker.

"That's what you're calling this? Damage control? Tabitha... she..." I gestured emphatically at the carnage, not wanting to look at it. A frown creased my brow. "And it's all your fault,"

"How the fuck does that work?" Warren scoffed, already starting to make for the gates, which were of course no longer guarded. "Unless you had your eyes closed, it clearly wasn't me rampaging around and shit,"

"You were the one who told Tab to do this. She wouldn't have done it if you hadn't made her," I snapped, following after him.

"If you had opened your ears, I'd said she needed to clear a way, not fucking murder everyone in the entire fucking courtyard," Warren spat in return. "That's obviously not what I intended,"

"Why won't you own up to it? You've destroyed Tab's life,"

"Oh, is that what I did? You have no idea what I go through when I have to make hard decisions like that," Warren hissed, pointing a finger at me as we left the facility behind.

"Must be easier than actually doing the things,"

The muscles of Warren's face twitched, but his expression softened after a few moments of inner turmoil.

"We'll find her. Talk to her. Make sure she's all right,"

"Oh, is that when you're gonna tell her she can't go home?" I was hysterical. "It killed me to hide that from her,"

Warren kicked a tree stump by the road, grunting in frustration. "I really wish it could be different. But she can't go home. At least for a while. She's got a target on her back and these folks know where she lives. We need to--I need to--do something about that first. Until then, moving back would just put her and her parents in more danger,"

"I don't care about that. I just want everything to be better. Normal,"

"I know. But for now, let's just focus on finding Tab,"

"I'll go after her," I said. "I've got it from here. Don't worry,"

The fox looked over at me, shaking his head. "No, I'm coming with you. You'll need help, I'm sure,"

"I said I've got it. I don't need help. This is something I need to do. By myself. As you've made it abundantly clear, she can't go home. Well, I know something about that. I can't either. I want to help her. _Be_there for her. And sorry, but your manner... well, it's a little rough sometimes. Tab's fragile right now,"

Warren opened his mouth to argue, but the look I gave him was so full of stubborn determination that he rethought what he was going to say.

"Alright. Fine. I can't believe I'm saying this, but go ahead,"

"Good,"

As I made to leave, Warren held up a hand. "Be safe. Listen. If you need anything... just come to Saaduuts. We can figure something out from there. And I'm going to talk to my contact. Squeeze something out of him. Something about this whole operation here seems... off. I know BoD ops when I see them, and this isn't one of 'em. And we're going to make Tabitha better, I swear,"

I nodded fervently, smiling. "Thank you,"

Nodding again at the red fox, I took off away from the path towards the woods. It wasn't going to be all that challenging to track her down. The giantess had carved a swath of flattened underbrush and broken trees through the forest.

My mind roiled as I ran after Tabitha. Why was I following her? She was so scared, and I had nothing but pity and empathy for her. But she'd also managed to prove all of the stereotypes about ferrets being total psychopaths in a span of about five minutes. I'd watched her do horrible things to people who had made her angry, things that made my stomach turn. What if she wasn't done yet? What if she was still completely crazy? What if she lashed out at me? What if she killed me?

I had no idea how to even approach her. What was I supposed to do, go up, pat her on whatever body part I could reach, and tell her that I loved her despite her psychopathic rampage and oh by the way she couldn't go home, the one thing she wanted to do most? I couldn't believe I was about to try and talk down my 90-foot psycho-killer girlfriend. What was my life?

*****

My ears perked up as I became aware of a rustling at the edge of the clearing. Instinctively, I tensed up. Wait, why was I so worried? Whatever it was, I'd probably be bigger than it. Gods knew I could probably just crush it if it tried to hurt me. All I was good at anymore was killing and maiming. I readied my fist nervously as something small and black tumbled out into the clearing. Wait. I recognized this small black something.

"It's me!" Ciaran called. "Please, don't do anything,"

"Ciaran!?" Calming down, I shifted so that I was sitting cross-legged in the center of the clearing.

"You're not exactly a hard ferretess to find, you know," Ciaran grinned slightly.

"There go my dreams of working undercover," I replied, rolling my eyes. I hesitated. "But look. Since you're here, I had something I wanted to tell you,"

I tried to make my apology, but Ciaran would hear nothing of it, waving his hand dismissively. "It's done. We can't do anything about it,"

"Ciaran... I just can't shake it off," I offered my hand and gently gathered the mink up in my palm, shifting so I was leaning against a sturdier tree. "So much has been going on... so much... I killed those people. I hurt you,"

"Tab..."

"Lemme just get this out," I said softly, eyes downcast. "I just want to plow through this. I am so sorry. So sorry. I can't really express in words how awful I feel right now.

"Sure, I was angry at you when you chewed me out like you did. Hell, I was fucking furious. But nothing could ever excuse how I lashed out like that and hurt you. I'm so glad you're okay. If you hadn't... made it... I just don't even know.

"But look. I understand if you don't want to be around me anymore. I shouldn't expect you to forgive me for what I did. Just know that I'm happy you're okay. And I'm really happy you came to get me from that... place,"

Ciaran was silent for a few moments, mulling. Eventually, he looked straight up at me, eyes moist. "Don't beat yourself up about it,"

"Don't say that. Don't forgive me,"

Ciaran held up a hand. "Am I happy you attacked me? No. And am I shocked about what happened back there in the courtyard? To say the least! I can't even describe what happened there. But it's done. Unless you have some sort of magical time travel machine,"

I shook my head, smiling thinly. "Don't have one of those, last I checked,"

"Well, in that case, we just need to move forward. Somehow.

"One thing, though. Can we agree that that was our big fight? Back in the park? I suppose all couples need to have one of those," a thin smile played at the corners of his mouth.

I blinked, taken aback. I'd expected a whole slough of responses, but nothing so... not angry. A broad smile spread across my face. Even after everything I'd done, to him and to others, he still forgave me, still cared about me, still loved me.

"And also. Can we agree to keep the physical stuff to only fun things?" Ciaran asked. He narrowed his eyes. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

I wasn't usually one to blather on about myself or my feelings or any of that nonsense, but I could feel it all welling up in my chest.

"I can't stand this, Ciaran. I should only be worrying about what to wear to prom and which university to go to in the autumn. But I can't go home and I can't spend time with anyone and I'm so fucking big. And I've killed people. I can still see them, just lying there. I--I hate this so much--"

I tried to say more, but couldn't find the words. Instead, my body opted to just start sobbing uncontrollably, shaking violently, great tears spilling down my cheeks. "I'm so lonely, Ciaran. I have you, but I'm so lonely. Let's just go home and pretend none of this happened. Start over,"

Ciaran appeared more discouraged than I'd ever seen anyone look before. "Tab... We can't,"

"What?" I wanted to go ballistic, but my energy was sapped. "But... but..."

"They know where you live, Tab. Those people," Warren persisted. "If you go back, they'll just hunt you down again,"

I fell silent. He was right, I supposed. I didn't want my parents to suffer any more on my account. Maybe it was for the best.

"What am I supposed to do, then? Live in the woods?" I asked dumbly.

"I don't know. But we'll figure it out. I'd be a really shitty boyfriend if I couldn't help you with that,"

Hugging my knees to my chest, I set Ciaran on one kneecap and rested my chin on the other, cocking my head to smile at him. "It must be hard to have a giantess as a girlfriend. I know that it's difficult for me to have a pocket-sized boyfriend sometimes.

"You know, relationships are hard. It's amazing being with someone you love so much, but it's also really hard. But we have... additional problems. Guess we're just overachievers that way. Heh. I want to make it work. I want to make it work so badly.

"But I don't think it can. Not because of you. You deserve a normal life. But that isn't going to work for me, clearly. I need to go somewhere else. I don't know where, but I know I have to leave. If I don't, they're going to find me. It's not fair of me to ask you to throw away everything else and--"

Ciaran was shaking his head fervently. He reached out and touched the tip of my nose with his hand. "Of course I'll go with you. Wherever it is you go. I want to spend time with you. Hell, I think I might even want to spend my life with you. And fuck knows you need someone to make sure you don't get into too much trouble,"

"But--but--," I gasped.

"Shut up. Don't make me rethink this stupid decision," Ciaran grinned.

I tipped my face toward Ciaran, kissing him. I didn't deserve him. But I was damn happy I had him. I had no idea what was going to happen in the future. I had no idea where I was going to go, where I would sleep at night, or what in the fuck I would eat. But two things were certain. For one thing, I was leaving the next day. For another, I had Ciaran with me. I wasn't alone.