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I like songs about drifters, books about the same

They both seem to make me feel a little less insane

Walked on off to another spot

I still haven't gotten any anywhere that I want

(Modest Mouse)

---

"This is not ideal," I intoned.

The trio on the other side of the table was standing stock-still, trying to look straight at me but not make eye contact at the same time. Good. I had them right where I wanted. You could do a lot with someone once you've got him scared. Fear is an art, and I was fucking Michelangelo. No, maybe more of a Picasso; I like to think of myself as something of a modernist in aesthetic.

"This is really not ideal," I said again, slamming my fist on the table for effect. I'd already smashed one coffee mug. You have to change things up. Keep it unpredictable.

"No, it isn't," a short giraffe said (What a fucking oxymoron, no?). He was shaking visibly. I smirked. Excellent.

"Oh, you think? That's all you have to say? A gigantic ferret-girl gets loose and kills two dozen of our best men, and that's all you have to say?" I roared, spittle flying out of my mouth. "I need more than just that! I need things to happen! Track that bitch down. She's nine stories tall. It shouldn't be difficult, even for troglodytes such as yourselves,"

It was all in the crescendo. You had to start off low and subtle, and then slowly build into a frenzy as you piled on the anger and rage. After a minute or so, you seem out of your mind with anger. But you aren't. Oh no. It's all calculated. You're fully in charge every second of the rant.

"We'll get right on it, Hawthorne, sir," a ridiculously tall hamster nodded (Seriously, didn't we have anyone who had the common sense to grow normally?). He shot a dirty look at the giraffe.

"Just 'sir' is fine with me," I sneered. "Leave. I'm getting sick of looking at your sorry faces,"

As the sorry trio made their way out of the room, I called for the as-yet silent squirrel to stay behind.

"Okay, Morrow. You've been moderately less inept than the other two. So I have a special task for you," I said.

Morrow blinked. She looked nervous. Good. "What is it, sir?"

"Tabitha's not the only one who needs to answer for the problems she caused. The two sorry bastards who broke her out: find out everything that can be known about them. I expect some solid progress by tomorrow, 1800. Report directly to me,"

Morrow nodded and silently left the room.

With those pains in my tail finally out of the room, I was finally able to get back to things that really mattered. Namely, I needed to get planning. These people needed to be found. More importantly, they needed to be dealt with. Taught a lesson. And I would be the one doing it. I found that sort of thing relaxing: setting things aright and correcting wrongs. Self-therapy, my way.

*****

Just because he was the size of a bug compared to me didn't mean Ciaran needed to constantly play Jiminy Cricket. Good gods. Always getting on me about everything.

"Are you even sure we should be back here? I mean, after everything Warren was saying about the surveillance and all that..." Ciaran paced nervously on my nightstand.

"Calm down, dude," I replied. "We need to get some supplies before heading out. I'm not about to go trekking through the mountains or whatever in the nude,"

"Coulda fooled me," Ciaran scowled.

I shrugged, grinning coquettishly across the room at the little mink. Packing took priority; I could get dressed later.

Crossing over to my desk, I stooped down, pulling the lower drawer free. I set it on the stand beside Ciaran, offering him a hand up and into it.

"Take a look and see if there's anything you want from there," I said, resuming my own packing.

I didn't want to look in the drawer, but I knew was there. After I'd grown, my parents had hung onto all my old stuff in the hopes that it would be of use to me again once I shrank back down. But it was obvious that wouldn't be happening. I had no use for any of it anymore, unless I wanted doll shit all of a sudden for some reason. Maybe Ciaran could find some stuff that would come in handy.

Closing up my rucksack and dressing hurriedly, I peered over the lip of the drawer at Ciaran. He'd strapped on a stuffed backpack and had stacked some items into one corner.

"What, you didn't want any of the dresses? I had so many super cute ones!" I teased, lifting him and his cargo out.

"Thanks for this, Tab," Ciaran said. "Now, are we heading out?"

"Patience, little guy. I mean, jeez. You made us wait until the dead of night to come back here and now you're all hell-bent on getting out as fast as possible," I grinned, plucking up Ciaran's extra cargo and dropping it into my pockets. See, one of the benefits of having all your clothes custom-made just for you is that you can request girl jeans with real pockets, not just the fake bullshit they usually have. Apparently girls don't need somewhere to store their cellphones or whatever.

My face grew serious. "I have something that I need to do first,"

Sitting down at my desk, I pulled out a piece of paper and one of my street lamps, dipping it in ink. I needed to write my parents a letter. I don't really want to share what I wrote; it's personal and private. But I needed to tell them how much I loved them and that they shouldn't worry. There was no question to it: I would see them again. I _needed_them. And I'd do my damnedest to make sure it happened. But it would be awhile. Too long.

Satisfied with the note, I set down my pen, waved a hand over the paper to make sure the ink was dry, and folded up the paper as small as I could. Time to get out of there.

Ciaran had practically worn a furrow in the nightstand, he was pacing so much. He came to a stop at one end of the circuit as I walked over. I stooped down so that I was resting my chin on the surface of the stand.

"Let's go! We've spent too much time here as it is," he gestured emphatically.

"Calm down, Jiminy. I'm all ready," I smirked. A frown creased my brow. "But what are we going to do about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we need to move fast. And you aren't going to be able to keep up with me if you're walking,"

"I dunno... just put me in your pocket or something," Ciaran ran a hand through his tousled hair, his tone flustered.

"You're my boyfriend, not my doll. I don't want to carry you around like... I dunno, property," I said. After all the terrible things I'd done, to him and others, I wanted to turn over a new leaf. "I don't want you to feel belittled or whatever,"

"Well, I feel pretty damn small whenever I'm around you," Ciaran snorted. He shrugged. "I dunno; would your shoulder work?"

"I don't see why not,"

"Just don't let me fall!"

Assuring Ciaran that he would be safe, I offered him my palm and transferred him onto my shoulder as I got back to my feet. Time to say goodbye to my house and everything else, for the time being, at least.

Dropping off my note was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Why couldn't I stay? Why couldn't Mom and Dad make everything back to normal? I wanted to tear off the roof and pluck them out of their bed and kiss them and hug them and... I already missed them so much.

"Tab, I'm so sorry," Ciaran murmured in my ear, evidently sensing my inner turmoil. I smiled as he brushed a hand reassuringly against my neck.

I tucked the note up against the back door, wedging it as best I could between the wall and the support of the stoop. Standing up to my full height, I turned my back on the house and familiar things and made my slow way out of Winthrop.

*****

My girlfriend stood underneath the waterfall, smiling as she let the cool water gush over her body. It had been a long trek and it looked like she certainly needed the relaxation. She'd taken us far from Winthrop, into the foothills of the mountains. We left any trace of civilization behind, now surrounded by dense forest as far as the eye could see.

I supposed I should unpack my belongings and get to work pitching my tent. But I couldn't tear my eyes away from Tabitha. She noticed me staring and grinned cheekily at me, giggling.

Blushing violently, I turned away, making my unsteady way towards the folded tent. Tabitha evidently had other plans, as I felt her fingers wrap gently around my waist, lifting me off the ground.

"Oi! Slow it down a bit," I protested gently as my stomach did a somersault. I would never get used to the elevation changes associated with being around Tabitha.

"Slow? There's nothing sexy about slow," Tabitha teased.

"Well, there's nothing sexy about me tossing my cookies all over you, either," I replied.

Tabitha attempted a disgusted expression but couldn't stop grinning giddily.

"Looks like someone's happy," I laughed.

"Are you kidding me? I haven't had a real shower in ages. Had to just use a sponge to get clean back home. Not enough water," a suggestive grin flashed across Tabitha's face. "But I could still use a good sponge,"

I protested half-heartedly as Tabitha's massive fingers fumbled with my clothes.

"Hey, careful!" I called as the ferretess accidentally created a large tear in my pants. "I've only got a few pairs of those,"

"Let's just get rid of all your clothes, then," Tabitha giggled, but allowed me to pull off my shirt on my own.

Tabitha sank down, leaning against the cliff that the waterfall spilled over. Her lips played over my body and I could feel her warm breath on my fur. I giggled as she slowly dragged me down her chest, fingers gently pressed into my back.

"I have a feeling I'm a bit less useful than a washcloth," I mumbled through a mouthful of fur.

I was lifted faceward again, but this time Tab was more careful about her pace. And they say you can't teach teenaged ferrets new tricks.

"I guess we'll just have to settle for shower sex then," she laughed.

"Tabitha-style,"

Well... not so much. Our efforts quickly proved fruitless. Way too much cold water and wet fur and just plain unsexiness.

"I have to get my tent unpacked, anyway," I mumbled when Tabitha gave up and set me back down in defeat. I hurriedly got dressed in fresh clothes and pulled out my tent bag.

"Myself, I'll be enjoying sleeping under the stars. How I suffer," Tabitha groaned dramatically, wrapping a towel around her torso as she stepped out of the waterfall pool and onto solid ground.

"Speak for yourself. My entire tent smells like sweat now,"

Kneeling down, Tabitha poked one of the tent stakes into the ground with her fingertip. "Well, it was a long, hard walk. Say, if you're so critical, why don't you carry me tomorrow? Just so everything's fair,"

I tossed the sleeping bag into the tent, grinning up at Tabitha, who had spread herself out on the meadow.

"So, what's the game plan?" she asked, starting to get dressed. "You got any sort of idea what we're doing, cap'n?"

I shrugged, mulling as I scratched my head. "I really don't know," I sighed, leaning up against my girlfriend's knee as she sat cross-legged. "We could spend a few days around here. But we probably shouldn't stick around too long. Gods only know how long it would take those guys to find us,"

"At least we've got a big mountain range to explore,"

Tabitha was smiling, but it was plastered on, false. She didn't want to be in the middle of the forest any more than I. Then I remembered.

"Or... we could start heading in the direction of Saaduuts," I said. "Warren told me that if we needed help, we could go there,"

"Saaduuts? You know, I've never been there before," Tabitha commented, pensively stripping a smaller pine sapling of its branches. "But if Warren said he could help us..."

"It's a start. We can figure things out on the way,"

"Flying by the seat of our pants," the giantess grinned. "Just how we roll,"

*****

Reynard was probably the best thing that had ever happened to my brother Roger, at least for the sake of his nutrition. Roger's idea of cooking a gourmet meal was having fancy crackers with his microwavable soup. Despite our identical genes, I'd somehow managed to be the only one to inherit any sort of foodie sense. And I was the straight one. Good gods.

"This is delicious," I commented to Reynard, helping myself to another round of pasta primavera. "Really sublime. Say, wanna just ditch that whole tailor thing and be my personal chef?"

"I'm glad _someone_appreciates my efforts," the arctic fox rolled his pale blue eyes playfully at Roger. "Unless you're planning some _other_way of showing your appreciation later on..."

Roger's ears tinged red as he took a swig of beer and I decided to pretend I'd temporarily gone deaf. For every ounce of prudishness in Roger's body was a pound of unbridled horniness in Reynard's. It always made dinners with the pair... interesting. And very awkward.

"So you going to share why you invited yourself over to dinner?" Roger pressed, avoiding eye contact with Reynard.

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, ears drooping slightly. "I... I just wanted to talk," I said at length.

"What's the matter?" Reynard asked, passing me the breadbasket.

"I think I fucked up. Monumentally fucked up. I mean, I've made a lot of mistakes. But this time, it's just a whole new level of fuck-uppage," I mumbled.

I instinctively braced for Roger's inevitable snappy retort. He loved to torment me endlessly, but this time even he stayed quiet.

"I did what you asked. Well, what Ernest asked," I said, glancing at Reynard. "But... I made a horrible call,"

"It can't have been too bad. You succeeded. You helped Tab out, right?" Reynard replied.

"But at what cost? I told her to murder someone. Several people. A lot of people. I ordered a scared girl to do something that she couldn't bear to do, just because it was the easiest way out.

"I've made a lot of tough calls on the job. Sometimes, someone wouldn't make it out alive. But that was with operatives who'd trained and worked for years. Not a terrified teenager who'd just had fuck knows what happen to her. But I didn't think about any of that. I just saw a 90-foot giantess who could stomp a convenient path for us.

"Tab told me over and over how much she didn't want to do it, but I just ignored her. I forced her into something horrible. It's inexcusable,"

"You were running on adrenaline," Reynard offered.

I shook my head at the arctic fox. "I'm always running on adrenaline. I shouldn't have made that call. And now I've basically abandoned two people in the middle of fucking nowhere,"

In an uncharacteristically warm gesture, Roger reached over, massaging my shoulder reassuringly with his hand. "Warren..."

"I don't know. There really isn't anything we can say now to make things better," I sighed. "It's so easy for us to hem and haw in this nice, warm apartment while they're out who knows where.

"I told Ciaran to come to Saaduuts. All I can do is hope that he listens to me for once. Very stubborn, that mink. Not that I blame him, given his background. He's fought so hard for everything. He's so brave,"

"You told him to come to Saaduuts?" Roger frowned. "I dunno about that. That's probably not going to end well,"

"What do you mean?" my eyes narrowed.

"Think about it. Tabitha's nine stories tall. Sure, we get giants in town. But none of them, far as I know, have hordes of pursuers on their oversized tails,"

My stomach lurched. "Shit," I whispered. How had I not thought about that? "I need to figure out where they are, and fast. I'll work something out,"

"Well, you are the intel guy," Roger said.

*****

"The stars are so beautiful," Tabitha breathed. "I'd never known there were so many,"

I curled up against her neck, running a hand through her fur. "That's cause we're in the middle of East Bumblefuck. No light pollution around to wash out the sky here in the boonies,"

Tabitha's giggle gently shook my body. She reached up to brush her fingers against me, prompting a shiver.

"I miss my parents and my house a lot. But I'm really glad I get to be here with you. Especially somewhere so beautiful,"

"We'll get you home again. I promise,"

My heart sank. If--no, when--we got Tabitha back to normal size, or at least in a situation where there weren't operatives hot on her tail, she could go home. She could be with her family. But what would that mean for me? I couldn't go home. That wasn't an option.

"And when we do, you're moving in. You get no say in the matter. You'll just have to put up with my dad's cooking until you go off to college and become an eccentric billionaire with a shit ton of patents to your name and a gigantic fucking girlfriend," Tabitha poked me playfully.

"Sounds like torture," I smiled warmly. I really wanted nothing more. "I'd like that. Your parents would be okay with that?"

Tabitha blinked. "No shit, Watson,"

"Er, the expression is 'no shit, Sherlock', I believe,"

"No. I meant what I said. My parents are over the fucking moon about you. So obvious even Watson could catch it,"

I couldn't hold back the broad grin plastered stupidly across my face. Over the moon? Wow. I wanted that. "Your house,"

"Or, failing that, we could make a really kickass log cabin right here,"

"It would be like Lincoln Logs for you,"

"Those things were the fucking bomb when I was little,"

"Little. In every sense of the word,"

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. But first we need to resolve everything with those crazy fuckers,"

I couldn't see Tabitha's face, but I knew she was starting to frown.

"Don't worry about them,"

"But all those thugs," Tabitha said. "Every night when I fall asleep, I see them. It's awful. And Todd...

"I wanted to do so many terrible things to him. I wanted to do worse things to him than he did to me," Tabitha's voice dropped even further. "And what really scares me is that part of me still wants to do that. I want him to suffer. I hate Todd so much,"

My stomach dropped. "He put you through a lot. I can understand you want to get back at him for that," I said slowly, trying to calm Tabitha down. "But you can't, though. That's not you. You're not a killer,"

"I clearly am, though. You saw what happened back there," Tabitha's voice raised for a moment before she caught her breath. "But if... if Todd finds me... I just don't know what's going to happen,"

"We'll never see Todd ever again,"

*****

A sheaf of papers with several still images taken from a security camera clipped to the front dropped on my desk. I glanced up balefully from my mug of coffee at the squirrel who had so brazenly entered my office when the door was closed. Or should I say eager beaver?

"You know I don't like being interrupted when I'm having my coffee," I said flatly.

"I thought that you would want to see this right away," the squirrel piped up.

"Right away can wait until after coffee," I muttered, but set down the mug and disinterestedly perused the papers.

My eyes narrowed and I began to flip faster the more I read. Maybe I had_been a bit wrong: 'right away' was indeed 'right away' in this instance. Not that that squirrel would ever hear an admission of error coming from _me.

"Is this all true?"

"Yes sir. The identities are verified. The younger one has family in Winthrop. But it doesn't look like he's been home in a few days. Not that 'home' is all that pleasant for him, from what I could glean. This other one, the red fox, lives in Saaduuts. Oh! And he has special plans for tomorrow evening. Dinner date with his spouse or boyfriend or something. It's all in the folder,"

Coffee forgotten, I pulled a key from my pocket and leaned over to unlock the bottom drawer of my desk. Glancing momentarily at the squirrel, I arched a brow.

"Why are you still here, Morrow? I need an exact address waiting for me in the vehicle by the time I get there,"

The squirrel nodded fervently and beat it out of the room fast as anything. I smirked to myself. The pieces were all beginning to fall together. The mink was clearly an accomplice of some sort. Small potatoes. I'd arrange for a home visit or something of that sort, see what trouble could be stirred up. But the fox... oh, I had something really special coming for him.

Pulling the instrument of my revenge from the drawer, I threw on my jacket and headed for the door. It had been awhile since I'd paid Saaduuts a visit. Maybe I should bring an umbrella.