Free-dumb...
I personally buckled recently...it inspired me to write this...after the fact...memories suck sometimes...
..."Old habits die hard(ly)...
Free-dumb...
Shadows look like you as memories turn
I look into the remains, watching worthwhile moments burn
Rage takes me to a quiet corner to find my mind
Among the clearly dark, I pull out past actions, all unkind
The mountains grow each time I dig deeper in reasons I didn't know took place
Still searching for my most honest reaction to words we shared, I keep finding an unfamiliar face...
That fool who wears my clothes makes me sick to the bone
His reasons turned me into this unknown being wandering alone
My anything isn't what I wanted it to be...
...I just wanted you...beside me...
I can't, I can't go back & right these chances I gave away
Your happy now, I fight myself, in this hell, where only one should stay...
I can't rip open the buried place where we once stood
....I know it's not the right thing to do...I know its nothing good...
I did it once, I was able to save you...
Now that we're through, I crave you...
Forgive me, my mind races as I stand still
I just want more, more than a happy past thrill
I need you to be no more than what you ever became
....I need you to fill me again, with love & shame
Be the sickle that sets me free once more
The burden that breaks the mold of someone I adore...
Give me your worst best contradiction
Cut easy into this mess that is my horrid confliction
I am yours to destroy
....make me more than your disposable toy...
I'm mad....I know...
...take it all, & make me your show...
Please....
...put this monster of man at ease...
---Thanks for reading---
---Always--- (I think)