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Cheers to Heir_of_faust for proofreading this;

thanks buddy

Chapter One

Too much love will kill you,

If you can't make up your mind;

Torn between your lover,

And the love you leave behind.

You're heading for disaster,

Because you never read the signs.

Too much love will kill you,

Every time.

-Freddie Mercury

Scott lay there under the half ton of iron and steel, his ears still ringing and blood dripping into his eyes. He couldn't feel his legs, which probably wasn't a good thing, but on the other paw he could feel his back and that was burning like hellfire, which probably wasn't a good thing either.

The night was deadly still now after the explosion of noise a few moments before, and he couldn't move but that was probably owing to shock. His brain was frozen and his back was twisted under what felt like a shattered windshield, and he was pretty sure that the blood dripping into his eyes was coming from his mouth, which suggested he was upside down.

"Ow." Scott managed, wincing as another bolt of pain shot through his body.

It may have seemed rather an understatement for all the pain he was in, but it had all happened so fast it was really all his brain could muster up. He was beginning to worry now as he got his thoughts in order; he was a long way from any people, and it was doubtful anyone was going to even notice that he was gone for the next few days, let alone find him out there, and he doubted he'd last the night as he was. He could smell gasoline somewhere close to his head, which could ignite at any moment and add yet another problem to the rapidly growing list, but as hard as it may be to believe, this was not the biggest of his concerns.

The biggest worry he had right now was that he would never see him again...

He still remembered vividly when it had all begun as if it was happening right now, even though it had been over two weeks ago. He had been at work at the time, halfway through his shift at Silver, a popular bar downtown. He was a bartender at night when the place turned into a club, and helped to manage the wait staff during the day when Silver was a restaurant.

He remembered, through the haze of pain, that it had been a rather slow day, and once the lunch rush had finished, around three o'clock, he had sent the wait staff home and it was just him and Lee, the snow leopard shift manager, on until dinner service that night.

Lee was known as a womanizer and a bit of a player, but despite his chauvinistic attitude he never seemed to mind working with Scott, often pointing out to the gay fox that his choice just meant that there was more tail for himself. He was currently sitting on the other side of the bar, a lit cigarette in his mouth as he enjoyed the lull in service, watching Scott clean the taps.

"Did you see that hare on table fourteen at lunch today ?" He asked, grinning wickedly.

"What about her ?" Scott asked, stifling a yawn. He hated when it was quiet, he preferred to be doing something instead of all this slow and pointless busywork.

"She wasn't bad, aye ?" He said

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure she was with her boyfriend." Scott replied.

"Didn't stop her from slipping me her phone number." He said, flashing a piece of paper in his paw.

"No way." Scott said incredulously.

"Women just find me irresistible" Lee said, winking knavishly.

"You're just going to end up sleeping with her a few times, then casting her aside, never calling her again and diving under the bar whenever she comes looking for you, just like so many others." Scott said, shaking his head. Lee stared at him for a few seconds, as if waiting for something else.

"I'm sorry, what's wrong with that ?" He finally asked, feigning innocence, and Scott flicked a cube from the ice well at him.

"You're despicable." Scott laughed, grinning, and Lee just flashed his teeth and blew a plume of smoke in his face.

"I'm pretty sure staff members aren't supposed to smoke at the bar." Scott said, waving a paw in front of his muzzle and wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"Meh, what are you gonna do about it ?" Lee said offhandedly, before shooting Scott a sidelong glance. "Anyway, how are things with you and what's-his-name ?"

"Craig ?" Scott asked, a sigh escaping his lips before he could stop himself.

"Yes, 'Craig' " Lee said, sighing and fluttering his eyelids demurely.

"He's fine..." Scott said, focusing on cleaning the bar top to hide his eyes from Lee.

"That sounds like a 'but' coming." Lee said, but Scott shook his head.

"Oh no, there's no but, believe me. Craig is really...special." He said, smiling softly. "I think he might even be..."

"Oh, please don't say 'the one' " Lee grumbled, burying his head in his paws in mock horror. "Weddings are always so bloody depressing."

"Why, because it reminds you of how pathetic and shallow you are?" Scott asked, but Lee just stuck his tongue out at him.

"No, because it means another guy giving up his freedom to sleep around and do what he feels like doing." Lee said, shaking his head and stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray. "And as hard as it may be to believe, all the desperate single bridesmaids in the world don't help the sinking feeling I get when I watch those two drive off in the 'just married' car."

"Lee, that's not like you !" Scott said in mock horror. "Shallow, meaningless tail not making you feel better ? Where is the tactless, morality-free player I know so well ?"

"Oh shut up." Lee muttered, rolling his eyes, but Scott just laughed.

"Well anyway, I still reckon Craig is pretty special." Scott said, turning away from Lee to check the spirits, turning back to see the snow leopard lighting up again.

"Well, be careful Scott. It's not always as perfect as it might seem. Take that from the master of fakery, it's all too easy to fake this sort of thing, and I'd hate to see you get hurt." Lee said seriously, taking Scott aback.

"Well, I thank you for your concern Lee, but I'm sure Craig and I will be just fine." At that exact moment, Scott's phone, sitting on top of the bar, vibrated into life with a text message, but before Scott could grab it, Lee snatched it up in his paw, grinning wickedly.

"Ah, let's see what this Craig is saying, shall we ?" He said

"Hey, give that back !" Scott said, leaning over the bar towards Lee, who just steppes back out of reach and began reading the message out loud.

"Hey hun' it's Craig," Lee read, grinning as Scott fought to get the phone back from him, "I'm at home now, in bed, waiting for you after you finish work tonight. Can't wait for you to get home, for some..." Leon trailed off, blushing and handing the phone back to Scott. "Gets a bit X-rated there..." He muttered, suddenly very interested in his claws.

Scott read it and sighed happily. He couldn't wait until he got home to Craig either. Craig was a big chestnut bronco a few years older than him, and Scott's heart soared whenever he saw his partner, despite Craig's almost insatiable sexual appetite.

"You want to go home now ?" Lee asked suddenly, jerking Scott out of his reverie.

"What ?" He replied, caught off guard

"It's dead here, foxy, and if you have someone to go to, you might as well go now. I'll cover for you, there's no need for you to stick around until five." Lee said, getting to his footpaws and stretching languorously as only a feline can.

"Really ?" Scott asked, overjoyed.

"Yeah, it'll be fine. You owe me though." Lee said, and Scott grinned happily, thanking the snow leopard and leaving, trying hard not to break into a run as he clocked out and left. He couldn't sit still on the drive home, imagining the look on Craig's face as he came home early...he'd be so surprised!

He made his way up the stairs to Craig's apartment, heart pounding in his chest from excitement. He slid his key in the lock and opened the door, creeping quietly through the halls to surprise Craig. He spotted him in the kitchen, buck naked and with his back turned, bent down to grab something from the fridge. Scott leant on the doorframe and admired his tight posterior, his black equine tail switching in the still air as he rummaged in the fridge.

"Hey..." Scott said and Craig jumped, whirling with a look of shock on his face, turning to one of terror as he saw Scott standing there, the bottle of champagne slipping from his paw to smash on the tiled floor.

"Surprise" Scott said grinning, his smile freezing as he saw the look of terror remain on Craig's face. He looked across to the bench and saw two tall fluted glasses...

"What are you doing here ?" Craig asked.

"I got off early, so I decided to surprise you." Scott said, feeling a heavy weight in his stomach. He wouldn't...

"You weren't supposed to be here for three hours..." Craig mumbled, and the way he said it was awfully foreboding for Scott. He looked through to Craig's bedroom, where he saw the face of an otter looking back at him over the top of the bed sheets, looking as shocked as Craig was terrified.

"How...how could you ?" Scott managed, looking at Craig in disgust.

"Scott, wait..." Craig began, but Scott ran from the apartment tight-lipped, slamming the door in his wake. It wasn't until he got to the stairwell that he slumped down and burst into tears, sobbing brokenly. That son of a bitch, how could he ? He said he loved him...and Scott had believed him. And worse, he had thought he had loved the bronco back...

Scott forced himself to his feet and stumbled almost blindly to his car, silver tears still spilling down his cheeks as he wept openly, fiddling with the lock on his car door and just managing to get inside before he slumped down and wept again, feeling as though his heart had turned to ashes inside of him. Each sob that wracked his body felt as though it was tearing him to pieces, and he cried and cried for what felt like eternity.

Finally it seemed he could cry no more, but now he just felt dead inside, as though Craig had been the lifeblood in his veins, and now that bastard's betrayal had killed him. He started up his car and headed back to work, the fur on his face still sodden with tears as he made his way through the back cage to Silver.

How could life be so unfair ? What had Scott ever done to deserve this ? He had always been good to Craig, always been faithful, so why did he do that ? The more he thought about it, the more he saw Craig as just that horny bastard, all his words lies to get into his pants, his talk of love all false, Scott's devotion and care contrasted by his constant want of sex.

Lee was standing at the bar polishing the cutlery when Scott stumbled in, the look on his face telling Scott just how miserable he looked.

"Christ, Scott what happened ?" He asked, helping him to a seat at the bar.

"You were right." Scott managed, sniffing.

"About what ?" Lee asked

"He was faking." Scott said, blinking back more tears.

"Craig ? What happened ?" Lee asked, the sound of that bastard's name as if someone had reached into Scott's chest and crushed his heart in their paw.

"I walked in on him and some otter in bed." Scott muttered.

"Oh man...what I said...I didn't mean it..." Lee said awkwardly, but Scott just waved a paw.

"Forget it." He said, and Lee poured him a whiskey.

"I'm so sorry" Lee said as he handed the Fox the drink. "If I hadn't sent you home early..."

"That's okay. It's probably better that I knew now." Scott said, not even convincing himself, downing the drink in one and slamming it down for Lee to fill it again.

"You want to go home or something ?" Lee asked, eyeing Scott apprehensively as he drunk down the next whiskey even faster than the first, tossing it back like water.

"No." Scott said, shaking his head. "I need something to keep me busy."

"Ok." Lee said quietly. "You go clock on. I'm sorry man, if you need anything else..."

"Just give me a second to go and clean up." Scott said and Lee nodded sadly. Scott went to the bathroom and splashed water from the cold tap onto his face, the shock of the frigid water making him shiver. He looked at himself in the mirror, looking over his eyes, puffy from crying, his soaking fur and drooping ears.

It must have been him, he thought. Maybe he just wasn't meant to love. Maybe he was meant to live alone forever, to witness others loving all around him, but the feeling too far away for himself to reach, and whenever he reached out to grasp it, to feel it, it slipped through his paws like so much sand. He felt like a character in a Greek tragedy, punished by the gods for his own hubris, his pride, and this was his awful punishment. If he had had such thoughts this morning, he would have laughed and scorned himself for such melodrama, but now he was almost ready to believe them, after what he had just witnessed. He felt another bout of tears coming on and shook himself, drying his fur and going out into the restaurant.

He worked for the next five days until Saturday, Silver's busiest night of the week, from open until close, almost mechanically, not sure what was keeping him going. At night, when he was alone in his apartment he would just hug his knees close and cry huddled up in the corner of his room, unused to sleeping without the warmth of another beside him.

He felt sick whenever he saw another now, longing to reach out and feel the touch of another, but afraid of the reprimand, afraid of being hurt. He just wanted to be held, and told himself he'd get over it soon, but he couldn't even convince himself. He was pathetic...

It was changeover on Saturday night, when the restaurant changed into a club, and Lee let the junior bar staff do the changeover as he dragged Scott out back into the cage.

"Hey, you alright man ?" Lee asked, pulling himself up an empty keg to sit on and lighting himself a cigarette, presenting another for Scott.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Scott lied, accepting the smoke gratefully. He didn't usually smoke, but recently he was enjoying them, as well as many other poisons. Anything to stop him feeling...

"You've been working a hell of a lot lately, you know. It's kind of worrying." Lee said, eyeing Scott warily.

"I just need to keep busy." Scott said, exhaling the smoke out of his nostrils.

"There's a difference between keeping busy and burning yourself out, which you look like you're damn close to. How often do you sleep?" Lee asked.

"I've had a bit of trouble lately..." Scott said. That was an understatement; he couldn't remember the last time he had slept for real. He had just kept going, like a robot, never tiring, spending every moment as if in a trance, his insides feeling black and dead, his heart feeling as though a knife had been run through it.

"If you were having trouble sleeping, I'd get you some pills to help it." Lee said, shrugging. In the hospitality industry, most things illegal could usually be bought from the most senior manager, and Lee was known as one of the best. Or worst, depending on how you look at it. "But you know, I'm kind of afraid of what you'd do with them."

"I'm not going to do anything stupid. Don't worry." Scott said, smiling warily. That was one thing he was sure; he would never end his own life. He would not ever just quit, never take the easy way out. The one thing he feared more than being alone was the void of death, the endless sleep.

"Look, Craig...Craig was an asshole. I do the same thing, but I never let it go that far, and I never ever say I love the girls I'm with. That's...just wrong, you know ? That's just playing with the mind. I only play with the body." Lee said, trying to grin and failing when he saw the look in Scott's eyes, settling instead on just drawing deeply on his cigarette. "You are better than him, Scott, and you've got to remember it wasn't your fault. The heart can easily be fooled, Scott, that's why it isn't the mind. You have to let it go, buddy, please ? I'm starting to worry about you."

Scott looked at Lee's worried face, momentarily speechless. He had never seen Lee really care about anything but himself, or more importantly his cock, and to see such emotion in him really cut deep into Scott. Yeah, Craig was an ass, and he had fooled him, but he had still been fooled. He had still been made a fool of.

"Thanks Lee, that helped." Scott said, standing and grinding the cigarette out under his footpaw. "It'll be a while before the hurt inside goes, though."

"Hey, why do you think I go for the no-mess, sex-and-run relationships ? No hurt, apart from maybe a few claw marks on my back, you know ?" Lee asked, and Scott laughed.

As always, Saturday night was busy, and the floor was quickly packed, but they had enough bartenders to keep the throngs of hundreds well satisfied as Pulzar, the squat badger on the DJ decks kept the clubbers dancing.

It was a good night and Scott even found himself enjoying the night, wowing the patrons with his flaring skills behind the bar, juggling bottles with Lee and flipping them through the air, catching them deftly behind his back and pouring drinks with practised ease. Around two a.m. the Besk taps began spluttering and dying, so after losing the paper-scissors-rock match to Paul, the South African Lion with a braided mane, Scott went out back to the cage to change the kegs over. On the way back he cut through the dance floor, skirting around the dark curve at the very back of the club to get back to the bar.

He was stopped in his path by a muscular grey-furred Wolf in a tight black muscle tee and faded jeans, his headfur spiked and a pride necklace around his neck, winking broadly as he danced up close to Scott. The wolf began shaking his tail in his face and grinding up and down Scott's body, and after a moment's shock Scott began dancing too. They wouldn't miss him for a few minutes on the floor, he reasoned, and it was so dark and smoky they wouldn't be able to see him back here.

He grinned and laughed as he wrapped his tail around the Wolf to draw him close, the Wolf doing likewise, rubbing his body close up against Scott's, filling the Foxe's nostrils with his scent, a mix of alcohol, sweat and cologne. Scott felt his tongue lolling in more than just exhaustion and was suddenly very aware of how long it had been since he had last had sex. It was that scent...alone each scent was nothing, but together it was greater than the sum of its parts, and mixed with the hot, muscular wolf with the tight arse... Scott shivered. He felt his sheath swelling and looked up into the Wolf's eyes, seeing the unmistakable look of hunger mirrored by his own. He felt breathless as the two of them locked lips on the floor, muzzles working hungrily together in a moment of passion, the Wolf's paws travelling up and down his furred body, slipping under his apron and groping his crotch through his pants.

The bass of the music travelled through the dance floor and into the pair of them as they ground up and down against each other, the Wolf struggling with the buckle of Scott's belt and the Fox hungrily groping at the Wolf's growing erection. The Wolf finally undid Scott's belt and the top button of his pants, slipping his pants down just a little and turning him around, their mouths still locked over Scott's shoulder as they stood one behind the other. Scott reached behind him and unzipped the Wolf's fly, guiding his cock out of his jeans, feeling the throbbing member in his paw for a moment before he guided it to his tailhole, letting out a groan as he slipped the stranger's cock into himself.

He grunted and broke the kiss as the Wolf slid his entire cock deep inside of him, stretching him wide as he began to pump in time with the pounding music, one of his paws reaching down behind Scott's apron and taking up his cock, working it in time with the pumping from behind. The Wolf's other hand was wrapped around Scott's midriff, the only thing holding him up as he was both filled up and jerked off. Scott began to groan happily, his noises lost in the racket of the club, the other dancers all around still oblivious of what was going on right beside them.

The Wolf's pumping got faster and faster, deeper and deeper, spearing Scott as deep as he could go, Scott nearly crying in pleasure as he tossed his head back, biting his lip as he felt himself nearing orgasm. The two of them stood locked together in the dark at the back of Silver, Scott shaking in pleasure and the Wolf doing likewise as he fucked him harder and harder. The Wolf's paw became erratic as it worked up and down Scott's rock-hard cock, slick with pre-cum, his breath coming in quick gasps and groans, his fur bristling as he neared orgasm himself.

He suddenly stiffened and bit down on the nape of Scott's neck, his paw grasping the knot of Scott's cock tightly as he shot his load into the Fox with the sudden force of a cannon, pumping again and again. Scott couldn't take it any longer and shot his load into his pants, shooting again as he felt the stranger pull out of him and re-buckle his pants for him, his paws still holding Scott up as he shook and quivered in pleasure.

He felt a soft kiss on his cheek and then he was alone again on the dance floor, patrons still dancing, oblivious to the sex that had just occurred inches away. He had arrived, fucked and gone without a word, and somehow that made Scott feel so much better.

Somehow Scott stumbled back out into the cage, sitting down heavily on a keg and lighting a cigarette as he stared off into the middle distance. That was... surprisingly good. He understood why Lee enjoyed himself so much now, how many times he had filled some poor foolish girl at the back of the club while he was supposed to be working Scott could only guess...

Still, it was only yiffing, only meaningless sex, and did nothing to fill the void in Scott's heart. Oh well, he thought, smiling ruefully as he shifted uncomfortably on his tender rump, we shall see what tomorrow brings.

Chapter Two

Scott took Sunday off, falling asleep as soon as he hit the pillow when he got home on Sunday morning, only barely forcing himself to shower to wash the sweat and other nuances off of himself. He slept soundly all through Sunday, his dreams soft and warm. The rest of Saturday night had gone by in a blur for Scott, and before he knew it, the house lights were up and it was time for cleaning and restock.

It was ten thirty on Sunday morning before they finished, and they all sat around the gas fire outside and enjoyed a few drinks and more than a few smokes as the sun rose in the sky over the tall buildings across the river. The cleaners were inside and the staff were enjoying the after-work glow as they relaxed, but Scott got the feeling his little adventure that night was no secret, the way Lee kept shooting him glances over the fire and grinning wickedly.

By the time they finished up and all cleared off it was eleven o'clock on Sunday morning and the day people were well and truly up and about, but this didn't stop Scott from sleeping like a rock, despite his apartment being right beside a busy road.

When he awoke, it was Monday morning and he felt refreshed, although the hurt in his heart was still there. The shock and tears may have been gone, but his heart still felt hollow, where Craig had carved off a piece and taken it with him.

Scott sighed and made his way to work, grabbing a coffee and walking down the boulevard to Silver. Lee was on too, and he was there when Scott arrived, looking rather worse for wear.

"What's wrong with you ?" Scott asked, cocking an eyebrow at the Snow Leopard's drooping whiskers and red eyes.

"Big night last night." He whispered, cigarette in one shaking paw, Bloody Mary in the other as he sat outside with a newspaper spread on the table in front of him.

"Oh yeah ?" Scott asked, trying to stifle a grin at the hung-over beast.

"Yeah. Went from Work bar to the Boardroom, ended up at Boogie Nights with these two Swedish Ermine twins. Said they wanted to taste the local nightlife." Lee muttered.

"And?"

"It was five a.m. before I got back to their hotel room, where they were sharing a double bed." Lee said, sounding oddly horrified.

"Like heaven, aye?" Scott asked.

"More like hell." Lee murmured. "They wouldn't let me leave until they were satisfied, and let me tell you, those two had stamina."

"Oh come on, how bad could it have been?" Scott laughed

"They kept me going for three hours. I had to sneak out the bathroom window!" Lee said, shaking his head. "Believe me, my fantasy of Swedish twins has been shattered beyond all recognition. I haven't even slept yet, I just spent the last couple of hours at the Jolly Poacher for breakfast."

"Poor baby." Scott said, pushing back Lee's unresisting head.

"Urgh...It's going to be a long day..." Lee groaned, rubbing his eyes.

"Well, maybe now you've learnt your lesson about staying up all night." Scott said, but Lee just shook his head.

"Nope." He said, drawing deeply on his cigarette. "Hey, you seem happier now. Enjoy yourself on Saturday night?" Lee asked, and Scott was momentarily at a loss.

"Yeah, it was a good night..." He said, but now it was Lee's turn to laugh.

"You know, there are security cameras at the back of the club." He said, and Scott froze in horror.

"Oh no..." he murmured, and Lee laughed again, grinning.

"Don't worry, I 'lost' the tapes for you." He said, and Scott sighed with relief. "Good to see you're happy now, that's the best thing."

"Happier, at least." Scott said, feeling his heart twist again.

"Still a bit tender?" Lee asked sympathetically.

"Yeah, my heart still hurts a bit..." Scott said, looking at his footpaws. It would be a while before it all went away, the hurt of what Craig did to him, but at least know he was able to sleep. Lost in thought, Scott gave a sudden start as he was brought back from his reverie by Lee's snickering.

"I wasn't talking about your heart being tender, I meant your..." He said, grinning evilly, but Scott cut him off.

"Goodbye, Lee" He said, turning and walking into Silver, trying to hide the grin on his muzzle. If one thing could be said for Lee, it was that he could make Scott smile, no matter how tasteless and crude his humour may have been.

Monday morning was always blissfully quiet, giving the staff enough time to recover from the weekend and get a bit of small work done, and Scott made sure the rest of the staff on were all ready for lunch, dropping in on the kitchen to check if all the orders had come through. He was halfway through a conversation with the tall heavy set bear Todd, the head chef, when he was interrupted by Lee telling him there was someone to see him at the bar.

He wracked his brains as to who it could be as he made his way to the bar, completely at a loss. It wouldn't be Craig, that asshole wouldn't have the balls to show his face here at Silver after what he had done, and it couldn't be family. His mother and father had passed on now, his sister was over in England and his brother was up north; none of his family knew he was gay and he planned to keep it that way...they probably wouldn't take it all that well. Perhaps it was the Wolf from the other night...Scott's heartbeat quickened as he thought of the Wolf, and what they had done under the flashing lights of the night-club. To tell the truth he wasn't sure whether he wanted to see him or not. I mean, what would he say? Hi, thanks for fucking me in the arse?

As he emerged from the back room and into the bar, he stopped; of all the people he had not expected to see, this one topped the list. It took a moment for Scott to recognise him, but when he did, he felt like someone had just grabbed his heart in both paws and squeezed.

Standing there in the empty bar, looking nervous and rather frightened, was the Otter he had seen in Craig's bed last week, his paws thrust in his back pockets of his jeans. He tried to smile, but wilted under the blast-furnace stare of Scott.

"Hey...you're Scott, right?" He asked, sounding rather timid.

"Yeah." Scott said shortly, eyes narrowed and nostrils flaring. "What do you want?" He was growling outwardly but dying again inside, reliving the moments when he had realised Craig was using him...

"Um...about last week...I just wanted to...that is...I mean..." The Otter stammered, and Scott sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Look, what do you want? I'm busy."

"I wanted...I came to apologise." The Otter said, and Scott felt his heart nearly stop.

"Craig sent you here to apologise?" He barked, but the Otter shook his head, looking terrified.

"No, I came to apologise." He said, and Scott stopped.

"What?" He asked, nonplussed.

"I...I just wanted to say I was sorry for what happened."

"Why did you do it then?" Scott asked, the pain growing in his chest again.

"Craig...Craig told me that he was single. He never told me about you, I...I never would have if I'd of known..." The Otter said, the words coming out in a jumbled rush, but Scott stopped him.

"How long?" He croaked.

"Huh?"

"How long were you...seeing him?" Scott said, scanning the Otter's face for any sign of a lie, any sign of treachery.

"About two weeks...I met him at Base, and..."

"That's okay. I don't need to know any more." Scott said.

"Yeah...I just wanted to say I was sorry. I never meant to...you know, break you up..."

"Forget it, Craig was an asshole." Scott said, spitting the Bronco's name with venom that surprised even him.

"I'm Hamish, by the way." The Otter said, proffering a paw that Scott took after a few moments, still not sure of what to think of the Otter. "And yeah, you were right."

"I was?" Scott said.

"Craig was an asshole." He said, and Scott laughed, the sound shocking him. He didn't think he'd ever laugh again at the sound of his name... "I slashed his tires on my way out, if it makes you feel any better."

"Yeah, it does." Scott said, smiling warmly. There was something about the Otter, something he couldn't quite place...

"Um...I was wondering..." Hamish said awkwardly, baring his teeth in what might have been a grin if he wasn't so nervous.

"Yeah?" Scott asked

"If maybe I could buy you coffee or something...to say sorry." Hamish said hurriedly.

Scott was speechless, blinking a few times in shock as he looked over the nervous, hopeful Otter. He wasn't that bad, really, he was kind of cute. More than kind of, actually... Was he asking Scott out on a date? So soon after Scott had found him and his lover in bed? Wow, had this guy even ever heard of suitability? Scott definitely didn't feel a date, definitely not so soon...but...

His heart hurt so bad, and he feared getting near to anyone unless he felt the pain again...how could he trust this stranger, how could he trust anybody? But then again...if they just went as friends...Scott sighed. He didn't really have many friends outside of work, it wouldn't hurt to have another. He knew he was justifying to his aching heart why he should agree to seeing this stranger, the one he had caught in bed with Craig. Remember, said part of his brain, strangers aren't all bad...

Scott looked at Hamish, who was still grinning hopefully. Why not...?

"Yeah, sure thing. To say sorry." He added, trying to say 'just as friends' without really voicing it.

"To say sorry." Hamish said, grinning and nodding maniacally. Scott tried to hide a giggle as he watched the cute, comical Otter.

"Meet me here at three today?" Scott asked, and Hamish nodded, saying goodbye and making his way out, leaving Scott with mixed feelings. Part of him was happy, the other wondering why the hell he had just done that...he still hurt.

"Oh thank god!" Lee said, and Scott turned to see the Snow Leopard emerge from the back room, grinning broadly. "I thought you were going to say no for a moment there!"

"Don't spy on me!" Scott said, flicking a wet rag at Lee, who dodged it and stuck his tongue out.

"Don't say it in a public place if you don't want to be heard!" He countered, grinning to match Scott's own smile. "Glad to see you're back on your feet"

"Almost." Scott said, still troubled inside.

"Wow, you're becoming quite the ladies' man. Or...men's man, I guess." Lee said, and Scott scowled. "Men's man?" He asked aloud, looking contemplative.

"Don't you have work to do somewhere?" He growled, and Lee disappeared back into the store rooms, laughing.

The rest of the day seemed to drag on forever, until the few hours seemed like weeks, Scott growing increasingly nervous as three o'clock approached. Lunch service was slow, and by one thirty Scott was practically pulling his whiskers out, and Lee certainly wasn't helping.

"Keep your eyes on the clock there Foxy, or you might miss a second passing by." Lee said as Scott glanced at the clock for the millionth time that day.

"Be quiet." Scott growled. "We can't all be as confident as you."

"Or as good-looking." Lee added, toothpick clenched between his teeth, and Scott just groaned.

"Don't worry Scott, you'll be fine." Lee said, clapping his paw on Scott's quivering shoulder. "Just be yourself!"

"That work for you?" Scott asked, but Lee just snorted.

"Pfft, Be myself?" He asked, looking at Scott as though there wasn't a stupider question he could have asked. "When had that crap ever worked?" He laughed, but the sound died in his throat when he caught the look on Scott's muzzle.

"...But I'm sure it'll work fine for you!" He said, trying to grin, but Scott just groaned and went out back to the cage to try and calm his nerves, sensing that talking to Lee was going to do more harm than good.

As the hour approached, Scott's heart thudded painfully in his chest, and by two thirty it was all Scott could do to sit still, and he was completely useless for any work. Lee, grinning at his friend's discomfort, told him to sit down at the bar after his shaking paws had dropped two trays of glasses. Lee had given Scott his cigarettes so he could take a few to calm his nerves, but when he had returned the pack was empty and Scott was still looking utterly terrified, the ashtray in front of him nearly overflowing.

"So..." Lee said as the hands of the clock clicked over to three o'clock, a wicked grin curling the corners of his lips. "How are you?" Scott just swallowed nervously and took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He looked through the big glass windows at the front of the bar and saw the Otter coming, and felt his heart skip a beat. He turned to Lee for support but there was a conspicuously empty Lee-shaped hole behind the bar, and Scott thought he saw the end of a snowy tail disappearing into the back room at high speed. He'd get him for this, Scott thought, scowling.

"Hey." Came a voice from behind the Fox that broke him from his thoughts, and he swiveled so fast on his stool he nearly fell off. Hamish was standing there with an awkward grin on his face, looking just about as nervous as Scott felt.

"You...uh...you ready to go?" He asked "Because, I...I could come back if you wanted..."

"No, now's good." Scott said, getting off his chair, trying to remember Lee's words...be yourself? Gods, did he get that off a greeting card or what?

"You have anywhere in mind for coffee?" He asked.

"Yeah, I know a great place." Hamish grinned and the two of them made for the door. Scott glanced over his shoulder and saw Lee's eyes peering around the doorframe, and a quick thumbs up was the last thing he saw of the Snow Leopard before the two of them left.

The two of them walked in relative silence, making small talk whenever the awkwardness grew to a breaking point. Scott told the Otter about what he did, and listened with interest as Hamish explained his studies. It turned out Hamish was actually years younger then Scott, having just finished his studies at Jarrow University. Scott had never gone to university, but just listening to Hamish talk of study and homework made Scott feel like an old beast.

Hamish led Scott to a back alley coffee house called Ramsel, a small, low-roofed place that was nevertheless packed. Working in hospitality, Scott always thought of cafés as a bit of an anomaly; the smaller and dirtier you made them, the more people wanted to be jammed into them!

The two of them found a table at the back in a wall recess, and grinned nervously at each other over the top of their drinks. He really was pretty sweet, Scott thought, coming to say sorry for what had happened, even though it hadn't been his fault. And he definitely wasn't hard on the eyes, that was for sure...

"Look," Scott said finally, to break the silence. "Why are we both so nervous? It seems a bit pointless if we're both jumping like a rat on a stove, doesn't it?"

"Well yeah...sorry." Hamish said, grinning ruefully and rubbing the back of his head with one paw. "I guess I'm just not used to talking to such good-looking guys..." He trailed off, putting a paw in front of his shocked muzzle and coughing. Scott blushed deeply and averted his eyes, and when he looked back at Hamish, he found him doing the same thing. Their eyes met and they laughed, not nervously, but at their own stupidity.

The ice was well and truly broken after that, which shocked Scott. He thought maybe Hamish's slip of the tongue may have made it even more awkward in the cramped space of the coffee house, but both their tongues seemed greatly loosened now. As they talked they found out they both had a lot in common; they both enjoyed the same things, both had similar dreams, and Scott was shocked to find out they had even gone to the same high school, although Hamish had been a few years below him.

Scott found himself telling the otter things he'd never told anyone else, from his most embarrassing moments to the contents of his dreams, and Hamish was responding in kind. Part of Scott's brain was reeling as this happened, he couldn't believe some of what he was telling him ! They had known each other for little more than days, by the stripe, they had met when they found out they were both being cheated on by the same guy ! Scott stopped halfway through a story and stared off into the middle distance.

It had taken him a moment to remember Craig's name...and the thoughts of what happened no longer hurt inside! He still bore resentment to the Stallion, but it was nothing compared to what it had been...

"What is it ?" Hamish asked, head cocked to one side.

"Nothing." Scott said, grinning, ignoring the faint sense of foreboding as he looked at the Otter.

The two of them finished up at the coffee house when Scott realised he had to be back at work soon. They walked back to Silver chatting like old friends, the polar opposite to what they had been on the way to get coffee. They stopped outside Silver and paused, looking each other in the eye in silence.

"So..."Hamish said, and Scott coughed.

"Um...yeah...thanks for coffee and everything. I appreciate the gesture." Scott said, grinning.

"Could I...could I see you again?" Hamish asked suddenly, and Scott stared. Again? But that would be like a date, wouldn't it? Should he or shouldn't he? Oh no, he could feel this being one of those questions he'd agonize over in the future, wishing he had taken the other option...what should he do?

"Cool. I'll come see you at work sometime." Hamish said, grinning happily. Scott gaped for a second, his mind playing back what had happened. Oh gods...he thought as he watched Hamish's tight rear walk away. He had said yes without his brain even registering ! Oh well, he thought, at least he wouldn't have to agonize over it now. He felt another twinge of foreboding, but ignored it, going inside Silver to see Lee grinning at him from over the top of the bar, polishing a glass in one paw.

"So ?..." He said, and Scott just poked his tongue out at him and sauntered past, feeling oddly like he was walking on cloud, not polished floorboards.

"Went that well, huh?" Scott heard Lee say behind him and he grinned. It had gone pretty well...

Chapter Three

So Kiss Me And Smile For Me,

Tell Me That You'll Wait For Me,

Hold Me Like You'll Never Let Me Go...

-John Denver

As it turned out, Hamish did come to see Scott, two days after they had gone out, then two days after that, then the day after that, until he was coming to see him every single day. Not that it was a problem; Scott could feel the otter growing on him, until he went to work every day just to see him.

From the moment he woke to the moment he slept, he found he could not banish Hamish from his mind. The two of them would walk together through the city, visiting the gardens and the various galleries, Scott all the while aware of his feelings for the otter growing within. He was vaguely troubled by this; was he ready for another relationship ? And with the very person he had caught Craig with ? However, he brushed these feelings aside whenever he was with Hamish, saving them for times of quiet contemplation.

He still had no answer to his question a few days later, when the situation came to a head. The two of them had gone to see a movie after Scott's shift, and sitting there in the dark Scott felt his fur shift as someone breathed softly onto it. He had turned his head to see Hamish staring at him as if in awe, and he suddenly found his lips locked with the otter's under the silver light of the projector.

How long the kiss lasted Scott had no idea, but when he finally broke lips with Hamish he felt dizzy and light-headed, and he found he couldn't wipe the silly grin off his muzzle, no matter how hard he tried. On the way home they had held paws like teenagers, and when Hamish had said goodbye to Scott in front of his appartment's door, they had again locked together at the lips. Scott smiled inwardly as he remembered how good it felt to be held, and when they finally broke apart, they said nothing, just grinning stupidly as Hamish went on his way.

Scott stumbled into his apartment in a daze, one paw on his forehead as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"Wow." He managed, going and pouring himself a tall drink. That...that was unexpected. 'But was it ?' he asked himself as he curled up on the couch. He must have known from the looks the otter had given him that he had feelings for him, and he could not deny the chemistry he felt between the two of them. Gods, people standing on the other side of the room could have felt it !

When he awoke the next day, he checked his phone straight away, but found no message from Hamish. He frowned, but shook himself; He was being clingy. Let him have his space, he told himself as he made his way to work. When he got there and clocked in, he found Lee behind the bar, polishing glasses.

"Hey Scotty, how's things ?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow as Scott yawned broadly. "Someone keeping you up all night?"

"No," Scott replied, shaking himself as he fought another yawn. "And I'm fine, thank you very much."

"All smooth sailing between you and the otter then, huh?" Lee asked, and Scott nodded, trying to hide a grin.

"Yes..." He said, but the look on Lee's face made his face split into a wide smile, and the snow leopard chuckled.

"Good, you're finally back!" He said, tossing him the rag he was polishing with. "You can do these glasses then."

"Thanks." Scott said sarcastically as he took up Lee's task. "Are we looking busy tonight?"

"Couple of reservations." Lee said, checking the logbook. "Oh, someone booked upstairs for a function. I tossed you on it." Scott made a face; upstairs was the private bar X.O., that Silver booked out for weddings and the like.

"Only me?" He asked

"Yeah, it's just a small function." Lee said. "Some guy is faking a dinner to reveal he loves his partner. They just want a bartender, should be a pretty easy night's work." Scott grimaced but said nothing. 'Thanks Lee...', he thought, 'a night of boringly easy work.' It was due to start at eight o'clock that night, so he waited until seven thirty and made his way up the stairs to check that X.O. had been set up.

When he got up there the bar was in darkness, and Scott scowled. Lee said he had taken care of the preparation for the night's function, but if the lights were still down then it meant no one had been up there all day. He crossed to the circuit board and flicked up the house lights, whirling as he heard someone move behind him.

He couldn't see anyone, but he heard someone move again, just around the corner, and moved towards it, plucking up his courage as he called out.

"Whoever is there, come out !" He said in what he hoped was an authoritative voice, praying his tone wouldn't give away that he was terrified. A figure stepped into view and Scott gaped, open-mouthed for a second.

"Hamish ?" He asked, for indeed it was the young otter, standing there with a nervous smile on his face.

"Hey." He said, approaching Scott.

"What are you doing up here ?" He asked, but Hamish pulled him close to him and locked lips with him, a soft kiss full of passion and care.

"What did Lee tell you ?" He asked, a sly smile playing about his muzzle.

"He said it was some guy revealing..." Scott said, eyes widening in realization as Hamish nodded, grinning happily.

"Yes, it's me. And I'm revealing to you." He said, looking Scott in the eye. "I love you Scott, more than anything. I don't know why, I can't explain it either. It seems so wrong, but I love you with all of my heart." He said, and Scott froze, unsure of what to say.

"I...I love you too!" He said, laughing as he hugged the otter close. "I love you !" The two of them laughed and held each other close, enjoying each other's warmth.

"How'd you think this up?" Scott asked, his muzzle still buried in Hamish's shoulder.

"Well, it was actually Lee's idea..." Hamish mumbled, and Scott laughed. This did have "Lee" written all over it...it was just his style. Scott suddenly pulled back and locked lips with the otter tenderly, enjoying the taste of him after so long being curious. He pulled back and looked deeply into his eyes, smiling wickedly.

"Let's get out of here." He whispered, and after a few seconds of shocked uncertainty, Hamish nodded back, grinning broadly. The two of them made their way down the fire escape and into Scott's car, barely able to keep their paws off each other. Scott felt a momentary pang of guilt at the thought of leaving work...oh well, if it had been Lee's idea, he should have known this would happen.

It was all a blur, but somehow they managed to make it to Hamish's apartment, lost in a world of ther own where the only things in focus were themselves and the one they were holding. They stumbled inside, fumbling with each other's clothes as they fell onto Scott's bed, breaths coming short and fast.

Scott practically tore Hamish's pants away from his body, hungrily eyeing the erect cock that sprang from his fur. He eagerly took it in his jaws, wanting so much to give the one he loved pleasure...He felt the shaft with his tongue, enjoying the moans that issued from the otter as he struggled to tear the rest of the clothes from Scott.

He let his paw rub tenderly at Hamish's nuts, taking more of the otter's juicy cock into his mouth as he worked around the gag reflex. He felt the squirt of pre-cum stain the back of his throat and gave an involuntary groan of pleasure, his own cock throbbing so hard and painfully he thought it would burst if he didn't come soon.

Hamish flipped him onto his back and maneuvered down, his cock still deep in Scott's mouth as he rotated himself. Scott wondered what he was doing as the otter's balls hung just above his face, then whimpered and arched his back in pleasure as Hamish took the fox's cock in his mouth at the same time. His sharp little teeth scratched along Scott's shaft, sending bolts of pleasure up his spine that made him suck all the harder on the cock in his mouth, wanting to make the otter blow his load all over him.

He abandoned Hamish's nuts and used both paws to spread his tender ass cheeks above him, using the tip of his middle finger to probe his tight little hole. He slipped one middle finger, then the other in, right up to the third knuckle, making the otter cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain as he stretched him. It was too much for the young beast, who threw his head back and moaned loudly, cock quivering and then spurting into Scott's throat. The taste of his lover was heavenly, but the flood began to choke him and he pushed the otter's hips skyward, the long length of his pulsing cock still spurting as he did so.

Hamish kept coming all over Scott's muzzle and chest, the fox lapping up as much as he could between breaths, the flow seemingly never ending. Finally it subsided, and Scott put the cock back in his mouth, milking the last few drops. Hamish pulled himself up close to Scott's muzzle, breathing heavily as he did so, murmuring variations of 'thank you' and ' I love you'. He licked the last remnants of cum off his lover's face and chest, still eyeing his throbbing shaft hungrily.

"You okay ?" Scott asked breathlessly after they had kissed, and Hamish looked into his eyes with a fiery hunger, a ravenous grin playing about his muzzle.

"I want you..." he murmured

"You sure you're okay to go ?" Scott asked, but Hamish just started kneading the fox's cock gently, and Scott found it impossible to say no. He checked under his bed, and after tossing aside a few old magazines like 'Barnyard Bliss', and 'Silver Wolf', he found the tube of lubricant he was looking for.

He applied a generous amount to his own shaft, arching his back as he slicked himself up, grunting in his frenzied state of arousal. He turned Hamish over and lifted his tail, admiring his perfect hole, tight and fresh. He couldn't resist and began eating out his ass, slipping his tongue deep inside and holding the otter's hips so he couldn't pull away.

Hamish grunted and quivered, so Scott plunged deeper and the otter cried out, grinding his hips against the bedcovers as he grew hard once more. He banged clenched fists on the bed and let out a yowl as Scott ate his arse out.

"Ffff...fuck me before I ...lose my god-damned mind !" He cried out, almost crying in frustration. Scott smiled and stood, rubbing another lot of lubricant onto the Otter's tailhole. He held the base of his tail in one hand and the base of his own cock in the other, easing it into the Otter. He just slipped the head of his cock in at first, pulling it out and slipping it back in, teasing him with it. Hamish looked back over his shoulder, tongue hanging out as he eyed Scott's cock hungrily.

Scott suddenly reared back and plunged his whole cock into the Otter, who yelped in surprise, letting his breath out in a long shuddering stream as he shook in pleasure. He slid in and out of the moaning beast slowly and strongly, grinning hungrily as he saw the Otter tossing his head back and moaning in pleasure. He was shuddering now and coming again, spilling his load all over the bed sheets.

Scott stepped off the edge of the bed and spun Hamish on his cock, grunting in pleasure. The otter now lay on his back below Scott, tears of pleasure running down his cheeks, his eyes clenched shut and his paws gathering up clumps of sheets as his back arched. He was still coming, squirting up into the air and onto his chest, his cock like a flagpole in the air.

Scott, through the haze of arousal, couldn't believe Hamish was still coming ! He must have had an endless supply, an eternal fountain of cum. He felt the orgasm growing in him and pumped harder and faster into the otter, gritting his teeth and gripping his lover's hips in both paws, breath coming hard and fast between his teeth.

He rose to the balls of his footpaws to force his cock deeper into the Otter, grunts and moans escaping his lips to mix and mingle with those coming from Hamish. He bit his lip till he drew blood, and let out a bark as his cock swelled and began to spurt, the jet of semen rushing down the length of his cock to spill into Hamish's bowels.

He pulled it out of him and held it in one paw, his cock still shooting wildly, all over Hamish's spent cock, his belly and his chest. Hamish leant forward and took his cock in his mouth, the semen still dripping off him as he sucked the last of the load into his mouth. Scott stood at the end of the bed, breathless, shaking and quivering. He finally lowered himself onto the bed beside Hamish, and the two of them spent time tenderly licking their juices off one another, suckling at each other's cocks briefly to make sure there was nothing they had missed.

After that was done they lay together in silence, holding each other tight and close in the silence of the night, hearing each other's breathing and heartbeat and feeling...safe.

"Scott..." Hamish said suddenly.

"Yeah ?" Scott asked quietly, holding his otter as close to him as possible with them still being separate beings.

"I...I need to ask you something." He said.

"What's that ?"

"I...I've been offered a job." Hamish said. "One in engineering. It's a really good position. I...I've taken it."

"Well done !" Scott laughed, still curious as to what the question was.

"Its...it's out of town though."

"How far ?" Scott asked, feeling oddly hollow inside.

"The other side of the country." Hamish admitted, and Scott felt as though someone had taken away the ground he was standing on.

"What ?" He managed, dumbfounded.

"I...I'm leaving tomorrow. And I want you to come with me." He said, and Scott gaped.

"No...I can't." He said, shaking his head.

"Please Scott, I love you..." Hamish said, but Scott sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, swinging his legs out over open air.

"You can't just ask me to leave my home...leave everything behind..." He said

"That's a no ?" Hamish asked, sounding hurt.

"No !" Scott said, standing up, tears spilling down his face. "I'm sorry, I just can't !"

"Well...I can't stop you, I guess." Hamish said, in tears also. "My plane leaves tomorrow night at nine, if you change your mind..." Scott just shook his head in disbelief, struggling into his clothes and fleeing the apartment without another word, feeling just as hollow as he had when he had first met Hamish.

Chapter Four

I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane,

Don't Know When I'll Be Back Again

Oh Babe, I Hate To Go...

-John Denver

Scott wept bitter tears as he drove away from Hamish's apartment, barely able to think as his mind reeled in shock. He couldn't believe it, that Hamish thought he would just up and leave his home to go with him. Part of him wanted to go with him so bad, but it wasn't the rational part of his mind, it was the thoughts that came from his cock. Thinking rationally, going with Hamish was a bad idea. But why did the rational, smart choice seem to feel so wrong, seem to hurt so much?

He found himself at his own apartment, crouched under the showerhead, cold water raking through his fur to mingle with his hot tears. He didn't really have any idea how he got back to his home, just aware that he was there now. He stumbled into bed, still crying quietly, his heart hurting so much he wished it would just stop.

He made his way to work the next evening, still feeling miserable. He had thought he had found love, thought his heart could let its guard down again, only to have it clutched away by cruel fate. He wanted to feel Hamish again, feel his love but he feared so much being hurt, feared Hamish would destroy him just as Craig had done. He knew he just couldn't go with Hamish, because he doubted his heart could survive being broken again.

When he got into work in the late evening, he could barely keep himself from weeping; Hamish's plane would be flying out soon, and Scott would never see him again.... When he got into Silver he saw Lee grinning rakishly at him from behind the bar, but the grin faded as soon as he saw Scott.

"What happened ? I thought..." He begun, but Scott cut him off.

"Yeah, he said he loved me." He said blankly.

"And ?" Lee asked, mystified.

"I said I loved him too." Scott replied.

"So ? What's the problem ?"

"You don't understand, Lee !" Scott cried, turning heads all over the restaurant. "You don't know what it's like to be hurt like I've been ! I can't just love him so easily, just run off with him to some fairytale ending ! I can't leave all I have here..."

"Look, Scott," Lee said suddenly, taking Scott by both shoulders and shaking him. "You say you can't leave what you have here; all you've got here is me and a crappy job, and I'm sure as hell not going to fuck you." He said, looking Scott in the eyes. "And I'll never love you like that Otter does. He'd move heaven and earth to be with you, Scott. Sometimes, the brain thinks too much. And that's your problem. You are led too much by your brain; Be led by your heart, and by your groin, because they'll make you happier than your skull ever will. For once, just take a chance, don't think about what might happen, think for the moment. If you spend forever worrying over outcomes and consequences, how will you ever enjoy life?"

"But..." Scott began, but Lee cut him off again.

"Scott, life isn't the number of breaths you take, or the number of seconds you live. It's about the things you do, the adventures you take, the chances you risk," He said, stepping back from the stunned fox. "The people you love." He said softly.

Scott was dumbfounded... Lee was right. Who cares what he left behind here, what he forgot in his wake, if he was with the one he loved ? Lee was right; no one ever would love him like Hamish did, and no matter how many years he lived, he would regret not going with him, not living a new life together with the one he loved.

"But...work..." Scott begun, but he knew he was clutching at straws for reasons to stay.

"You're fired." Lee said simply. "Now go to him." Scott stood with his mouth agape for a second, then laughed and hugged the snow leopard close.

"Thank you." He whispered, tears in his eyes from his friend's kindness and compassion. Maybe he could still catch Hamish's plane...

"Alright, now I'm uncomfortable..." Lee joked, and Scott drew away from him, eyes twinkling as he thanked Lee one more time. He practically bolted out the back of Silver to where his car was, jumping behind the wheel and gunning the engine frantically.

He tore through the city streets and out into the countryside, praying the police wouldn't stop him. The airport was out in the country, around twenty minutes away from the city. Scott prayed he could catch Hamish before he left, that he could beg his forgiveness and go with him.

He couldn't believe how foolish he had been, his heart pounding heavily as he sped down the empty highways. Of course he should go with Hamish, he was the only one he felt he truly loved. Even with Craig there had been a seed of doubt, but with this, the love was white-hot and intense, a powerful attraction that he knew would never die. And he had almost let him go...

The turn loomed ahead of him suddenly while he was lost in thought, the thin barrier between the road and the fields beyond twinkling in the light of the car's headlights. Scott hauled on the wheel as he realised the danger he was in, tire's squealing in the still night air as the car swung around, too slow to get around the sharp turn.

The car hit the barrier side-on, smashing through it in an instant, everything seeming to go slow motion as the car flew through the air. He saw his own blood splatter the windscreen as though it was inching through molasses, and the sound seemed to dim to a low thudding in his ears. Scott's mind was oddly as peace, probably too frozen to realize the trouble he was in. All he could think out was that this would make him miss Hamish's flight...

Then the car hit the unforgiving dirt and everything snapped back to normal speed, the car rolling a dozen times, Scott being thrown around the car's interior like a rag doll. The sound of the car crumpling like eggshell was like an explosion in his ears, and flying glass and metal cut him through his fur.

Finally the car rolled to a stop as it hit a tree trunk, around fifty meters from the road. It looked as though it would roll back onto it's side, but it sunk onto it's roof with a resigned tinkling, and the deathly silence of the country night closed back in again.

Scott lay there under the half ton of iron and steel, his ears still ringing and blood dripping into his eyes. He couldn't feel his legs, which probably wasn't a good thing, but on the other paw he could feel his back and that was burning like hellfire, which probably wasn't a good thing either.

The night was deadly still now after the explosion of noise a few moments before, and he couldn't move but that was probably owing to shock. His brain was frozen and his back was twisted under what felt like a shattered windshield, and he was pretty sure that the blood dripping into his eyes was coming from his mouth, which suggested he was upside down.

"Ow." Scott managed, wincing as another bolt of pain shot through his body.

It may have seemed rather an understatement for all the pain he was in, but it had all happened so fast it was really all his brain could muster up. He was beginning to worry now as he got his thoughts in order; he was a long way from any people, and it was doubtful anyone was going to even notice that he was gone for the next few days, let alone find him out there, and he doubted he'd last the night as he was. He could smell gasoline somewhere close to his head, which could ignite at any moment and add yet another problem to the rapidly growing list, but as hard as it may be to believe, this was not the biggest of his concerns.

The biggest worry he had right now was that he would never see him again...

He felt bitter tears gather in the corner of his eyes. It just wasn't fair &! Was he to die like this, alone, trapped under a car while the man he loved flew away no more than twenty miles from him, thinking he didn't love him anymore?

For the last two weeks, all his luck had seemed to turn bad. First Craig, then Hamish...well, it wasn't all bad. The stranger in Silver and their tryst beneath the lights of the night-club, then the time he spent with Hamish and it's culmination... Scott sighed, coughing weakly, not at all surprised to see blood stain the grass in front of his muzzle. He wished he could just see Hamish once more, hear his voice one final time.

"Scott ?"

He must be nearing the end now, he thought blearily. He was hearing Hamish...what a sweet voice he had...what a pity he'd never hear it again, he thought as his eyelids fluttered closed for the last time. He guessed he'd die alone...alone...

Alone.

"Scott !" Scott's eyes snapped open irritably as he heard his name being called again. For a vision brought on by his deathbed, it certainly wasn't considerate of his attempt to die in peace.

He craned his neck painfully and saw two footpaws approach him at a run, crouching down by his head. He looked up in awe and saw the concerned face of an angel looking down at him, outlined by a halo.

"Don't worry, an ambulance is on its way." The angel said, and Scott shook his head...it wasn't an angel, he thought, feeling rather cheated. Typical, he didn't even get an angel on his deathbed. However, he recognised the figure in that moment and felt more privileged than if a whole choir of the winged bastards had descended to take him away. It was Hamish, his worried eyes shining with tears, the moon behind his head creating a halo around his head.

"How...how did you find me ?" Scott managed, and Hamish ran a paw down the side of his muzzle.

"I...I couldn't leave without you. I came back to find you, and saw your headlights in the field. I thought there had been an accident, so I called the paramedics and came to see if there was anything I could do..." Hamish said, tears spilling down his cheeks.

"Good thing you did." Scott said, smiling weakly up at the sad-looking otter. "Sorry about before...I do love you enough to come with you, enough to go to the hell-mouth and back. I love you..." He said, but Hamish shushed him with a finger to his lips, kissing him softly and tenderly. He placed his head beside Scott's in the blood-soaked grass, and lay with him in silence until the ambulance arrived, their bright, flashing lights lighting up the dark night.

Epilogue

And When The Day Arrives,

I'll Become The Sky,

And I'll Become The Sea;

And The Sea Will Come To Kiss Me

For I Am Going

Home

Nothing Can Stop Me Now

-Trent Reznor

Scott spent four weeks in hospital while he recovered, his body wrapped in enough casts and bandages to cover a small country. Hamish sat by his bedside every day and slept in his room every night; the company who had hired him were very understanding and let him start once Scott was all better.

Hamish even considered turning down the job to live with Scott, but Scott only replied that he would go wherever the otter went, no matter what jobs they had or where they lived. Hamish was overjoyed and rang the company at once, telling them not to give his position to anyone else.

Lee came to see Scott while he was in hospital too, nearly shedding his fur laughing when he saw what Scott had done to himself this time. He was still working at Silver, and Scott's absence had meant they had hired a young Tigress that had caught Lee's eye. He had apparently been quite smitten by her and took her phone number with the intention of more than just sex. He claimed that Scott had ruined his game and he was forced to take the consolation prize, but Scott secretly thought Lee had finally found someone to share a meaningful relationship with. They had still fucked each other brainless in the cellar on the very first night they'd met, but at least it was a start.

Once Scott was better, he and Hamish moved out to the town where his new job was, a seaside town where they shared a cabin overlooking the ocean. They may have been a little short on cash, but Scott had taken a job at the local bar like his old one at Silver, and was now back to studying at university so he could get a real job like Hamish.

Like everyone else, the pair of them had their fair share of problems, from financial to everything else under the sun, but they both knew they loved each other and would never love another as long as they lived. Scott often found himself wondering how he had gotten so lucky with Hamish, how he had found the one he was perfect for in the most unlikely place imaginable. Perhaps it wasn't perfect, but the two of them had each other, and they had their love for one another, and when everything else was stripped away, when all the bullshit and money and everything was torn away by the unstoppable march of the seasons, wasn't love the one thing that truly mattered?

The End

Copyright 2006, Ktarra (Acherontia Styx)

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Go raibh tú daibhir i mí-áidh

Agus saibhir i mbeannachtaí

Go mall ag déanamh namhaid, go luath a déanamh carad,

Ach saibhir nó daibhir, go mall nó go luath,

Nach raibh ach áthas agat

n lá seo amach.

May you be poor in misfortune,

Rich in blessings,

Slow to make enemies,

quick to make friends,

But rich or poor, quick or slow,

May you know nothing but happiness

From this day forward.