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" Sly Down Under"

The time was seven P.M. AEST, we had just landed in Sydney, Australia and disembarked our plane so much faster than we were used to in the states; all three of us had signed up for a mission given to us by all people but Carmelita Fox who, through the tightening restraints of extradition couldn't land a capture on the notorious jewel thief Alficious Leon, who had come back to his home country as a means of escaping his various crimes.

Bentley was his usual self, that turtle really needed a vacation. He sat ho-humming over his laptop nearly the entire flight. Honestly, if his frustration could express itself, his glasses would be pretty fogged up by now. The turtle kept re-reading an article on an exclusive dinner party which; while leaving Alficious out in the open, would be extremely tricky to get him behind bars due to the amount of crime bosses and high profile millionaires in attendance. Carmelita expressed one thing; they needed the Bixby Diamond returned to San Francisco within twenty-four hours. A very tight time constraint, even for the three of us. But for her, I was willing to risk it.

Murray had been asleep for most of the trip, and the big lug was still looking pretty jet-lagged as we came down the ramp and entered the terminal. For being 'the muscle' of our operation, he always made himself out to be more cuddly than ferocious in my opinion. I guess that's what I liked about him. He tugged down on his jacket, trying to make his stomach seem a little less prominent, but I didn't mind; he and Bentley have been my best friends since we were kids.

"Sly, are you paying any attention to me at all?"

I was completely unaware that Bentley was talking, straightening up I made my most convincing 'yes I was listening' pose and responded. "Of course, Ben. You know I'm always listening when it comes to mission info."

"Then repeat what I just told you?" Bentley answered knowingly, lowering his glasses and staring at me with his great green eyes.

I stammered for a moment, avoiding the turtle's stare. "I--erm..."

"Oh come on, Sly. Please pay attention! This is crucial information and Murray needs to listen up too."

"Murray?"

"Me?!"

Both of us spoke at once and got a shocked look from our brains, apparently he'd expected both of us to be paying attention. He let out a groaning sigh and shook his head. "Will you two please listen!? Sheesh! Now, the banquet starts at nine P.M. but I was only able to get one ID off the list that matches either one of you; a hippopotamus named "Elisias Omanatavious" who by all accounts is a complete recluse and images of him are scant and hard to make out. The idea is for us to subdue him and have Murray take his place at the banquet. From there, we should be able to get the diamond back."

"What makes you so sure he's going to have it on him?" I asked.

"Because he's an egocentric lion, and in this den of villains he's not going to resist the temptation to show off a hot diamond as big as Murray's fist!"

"Alright, so while Murray is schmoozing then I can sneak in through some window or something, get into Leon's room and snatch the diamond. We'll be out of there in twenty minutes..." I paused and noticed that look in his eye; Bentley's patented 'It won't be as easy as that' look. I grimaced just in time to hear him respond.

"Well I'm afraid it won't be that easy."

"How would I have guessed?"

By that time, we'd arrived at the departure lanes for the terminal, Bentley hailed a taxi and somehow the three of us managed to squeeze into the back seat. While there, he pulled up images on the building that the banquet was taking place in and he spoke as not to alert the driver. "I'm afraid the embassy is locked up tighter than Murray's iron grip." He said. "To get inside we'll have to slip you in under Murray's disguise."

"Under his disguise?"

"Yeah." He said unflinchingly. "We know that Alficious has a thing for... ahem... muscle bound men... so that will be Murray's niche to lead him away from the party to his suite."

"But Bentley, I'm not gay!"

"It doesn't matter, with a little drop of this he won't even think twice about it once you ask him to show you his suite." He said, showing us a small vial of a pink liquid. "The serum will wear off after twenty minutes though and without an... ahem... outlet to sate him, he'll pass out harder than drinking on prom night."

Murray and I exchanged a glance before I asked the next question. "So, what sort of disguise are we going to slip me in under?"

My question was answered, but I still couldn't believe it until I saw it for myself; it seems Elisias was a very, very Scottish hippo and wore his kilt with dignity. I felt a little guilt shooting the tranquilizer dart at him, then even moreso after dumping his naked, unconscious body in a dumpster. After a quick resizing, which still left a tightness in Murray's tunic piece, the kilt was actually big enough for me to... slip under. All Murray had to do was slip the lion some of this potion and lure him up to his bedroom under the pretenses of having sex. It was me that had to hang under his junk all night. At least I'd get a short reprieve at the table, I thought.

Bentley gave Murray an ear piece in the car while I watched the city of Sidney whizz past in the rented limousine's tinted windows. As we approached the building I realized it was showtime and after Murray stepped out of the limo, I quickly slipped in under the back of his kilt where I was met by a shock as a pair of balls brushed the hat nearly off my head. I gasped and almost screamed at him. "Murray! Why aren't you wearing any underwear?!"

Murray scoffed and spoke back almost indignantly. "I wanted to go the full Scottish experience."

"But you're not Scottish, you're--" A sudden rush of legs cut me off as Murray started walking, a few steps later and he stopped again.

"Good evening, sir. Could I see your invitation?" I heard a voice ask. "And your name please?"

"Why ye--err... aye! Me name is Elisias O--Onomatopoeia."

"Omanatavious!" I heard Bentley screech through our ear pieces.

"I-I mean Omanatavious. Aye."

"Very good, sir. Please come with me."

It was difficult to time Murray's steps at first, the lumbering hippo had to keep his stride wide enough for me to walk in undetected but also to keep him from falling on his face. Thankfully Bentley convinced me to leave my staff with him, or it would be finding a way where the sun doesn't shine after this one.

There was the sound of dining going on around us now, I could hear the clicking of plates, the clanking of champagne glasses and the muttering of various people through what I could vaguely see as blobs of movement through Murray's kilt. We came to a stop and I could hear the maitre d clear his throat. "Mister Omanatavious."

"Well as I live and breathe." Another voice I instantly recognized spoke up. "Elisias, it's great to finally put a face to the fame."

"Oh... aye is' great ta meet you in person too." Murray fumbled through an accent that wasn't half bad... but not half good either in my opinion. "We, who have never met face-to-face."

"No matter how much I begged." Alficious cackled delightedly and Murray moved in position for me to slip under the table, which I did rather quickly.