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CHAIN OF COMMAND (HH)

THE HOCKEY HUNK HHS07E04

by

Gruffy

2017

*

Hello!

Welcome to the Hockey Hunk! I hope you've had a good week, and I certainly hope you're ready for another chapter of this series! It's been a pleasure to be working on it again, and I shall look forward to hearing what you think. Remember that all votes, faves and watches will help others to find these stories to enjoy well!

See you next Monday for the next chapter!"

*

"Earth to Muffin Force One!"

"....eeeuuuuuhuuhuummm?"

I wasn't really that deep in my thoughts, at least I suspected so, but it appeared that Marge thought that I had detached from my body and decided to tease me back into the mortal realm. She did this by prodding my legs with her tail to get my attention, which I then gave to her. She was standing next to me and in her classic glaring pose.

"You looked like you were orbiting Pluto!" Marge said.

Well, if she wanted to play that kind of a game. I reached for the cash register and pretended to tap the keys on it.

"Aye, aye, Captain! Adjusting course to Warp 11!" I said from the helm of my very own spaceship.

Marge clicked her tongue with disapproval.

"The modern warp speed scale only goes up to Warp 9," she told me seriously. "Warp 10 is the infinite speed where you occupy each point in space simultaneously, and also spend an infinite amount of energy. It's against the laws of subspace physics."

I made a curious face.

"I'm not sure if you're just making all that up, but...how do you know that stuff?" I asked. I felt impressed, even if I really felt like I was out of my depth here.

Marge let out a purr.

"I used to date a big time nerd in college," the cougarette rumbled away, "He'd even postpone sex to watch Star Trek Voyager."

My ears bounced at the sound of her matter-of-fact remark. It was such a Marge thing to say, I thought.

"That sounds just a little bit drastic," I mused.

"Well it didn't last very long after that became an issue," Marge said.

"So you've actually dated guys who aren't bad boys," I commented.

Marge's tail swung dangerously behind her.

"Even I've had my weak moments," she replied.

I rumbled at her amicably. The idea of a sexually charged Marge giving ugly eyes to a television full of aliens and lasers while she languished in her misery was an amusing one, if slightly disturbing to consider. I probably wasn't supposed to entertain such thoughts while at work, let alone have Marge as the target of them. I was pretty sure I would not have to get jealous over USS Enterprise when it came to Victor's undivided attention.

He could be my Captain in tight spandex every day.

I gave Marge a beatifying happy-happy smile.

"Did he at least have a motorbike?" I suggested.

Marge's face grew sour.

"He had a Mazda with a very uncomfortable back seat," she said.

I felt like the situation threatened to degenerate into the Twilight Zone if I didn't do something quickly.

"I suppose Goggy doesn't watch Star Trek either," I said.

"No," Marge said, "but he's been making me watch this show he likes, it's called White Collar. Have you seen it, Rory?"

"I don't think so, no" I mused. It sounded innocent enough.

"Ohhhh it's gooooorgeous," she purred dangerously, "it's got this hunky lead actor, Matt Bomer, and he's just _dreeeamy..._hmmmm he cab swindle me every day and every night..."

Her purr was practically making the glass surface of the service counter vibrate with its intensity. My attempt at distracting her from her hormonal thoughts obviously hadn't worked. I had only made things worse for those of us who had balls, being prime targets for Marge.

"Uh oh," I said.

"I think I need a DVD box set..." Marge purred.

"Maybe you should watch something a bit more calming," I said. "Like...ah...piano repairing videos on YouTube?"

"Calming?" exclaimed my cougarette. "Why would I need to be calm? And why would I want to watch that?"

"Well you've already cut down coffee, haven't you?" I pointed out. "Didn't you go on this rant about how you're not supposed to drink it when you're pregnant?"

Marge folded her arms dangerously.

"It depends on which internet site you believe, and you'd have to be a Hindu to believe in that many voices of gods," she said.

"Uhm..." I mumbled.

"Hey! MASON!"

My ears flopped at the sound of her voice. Its shrill tone reached Mason, who'd been on the other end of the shop floor. Marge's all made the frat wolf wander all the way from there and over to us behind the counter.

"What's up," he said nonchalantly to Marge.

I was admired his courage, I really did.

"What books do we have on world religions?"

"Huh," his tail flipped behind him curiously.

Marge put her paws on her hips.

"Rory here is expressing curiosity about expanding his religious horizons, and needs something to read to start on his journey into enlightenment," said Marge. "Would you suggest a few titles for him?"

"Ahm.."

Marge's tail swung like a pendulum.

"Tick, tock..."

"Well we've got that nice illustrated thing on practice of religion around the world...though it's a bit expensive...do you want to spend 49.99, Rory?"

"No,"I said. "Not even staff discount."

"Something else then, Mason," Marge told the wolf.

Mason looked remarkably calm in the face of the woman-shaped storm that was Marge Pitt.

"We've got 'Jesus is Your Friend' and_'My First Bible'_ at the kids section...would that do? They're illustrated too," Mason said.

He was taking this admirably seriously, even though I was quite sure that Mason knew that Marge was just being weird and bored, and possibly sublimating her horniness into a more generalized type of madness by talking all this stuff to us.

"Maybe I would like one where you can color your own drawings and stuff?" I said.

"Well, then - "

"Excuse me?"

All three of us probably jumped guiltily. A moose had appeared with books and looked rather expectant of us, the whole current staff of the store having our strange chat while the customer had to wait.

"Can I get service here?" he asked. "I'm kinda in a hurry."

Marge flashed the guy a smile I'm sure she hoped would melt his heart and make him want to worship the ground that her feet touched.

"Please!" she purred as she stepped over to her cash register. "Come on right here please, sir!"

The slightly dubious-looking moose took her up on her offer. I looked at Mason, instead, who looked at this whole thing curiously. I gave Mason a bit of a Rory Gliese charm too, with my smile. I think the corners of his muzzle did curl up a little. His tail certainly gave a more cheerful wag. He must've been wondering on all the weird stuff that us big people did.

"...and please do come again to browse our Autumn Frenzy special offers, we've got new ones every week!"

The moose took the shiny red carrier back with our logo on it, and left without commenting on her special offer. Marge's smile degenerated into a death mask after cyanide poisoning.

"Hmph."

"Maybe he didn't like hearing about our gossip?" I proposed to her.

"You started it!" her tail flicked accusingly towards me.

I pouted.

"I suppose I just can't help myself when I'm around you," I told Marge guiltily, and with maximum insincerity.

Her lips assumed such a pout that she started to assume the appearance of a hungry canard.

"Did you need me for something else, Marge?" Mason asked.

She looked at him as if she had forgotten that he was there.

"What?"

"Did you have other questions or something?" the wolf asked.

"No," Marge said. "Don't you have anything to do?"

"Not very much," Mason confessed. "There's like four customers."

"And you have asked each of them if they need assistance finding what they need?" Marge said. "Or making them realize what they didn't know they need but you make them want it?"

Mason glanced at the shop floor.

"I don't think they look like they're gonna do more than browse," he said.

"Oh you're an expert on sales now then?" Marge suggested.

Mason shrugged.

"I just get the feeling," he said. "Nobody really looks like they're gonna buy anything."

"Based on what?" Marge inquired.

This was gonna be interesting.

"That wolfess there," Mason pointed out an elderly one by the magazine shelf, "she comes every day to read the magazines without buying them."

"And that beaver...he only comes in to use the bathroom."

Marge frowned.

"Are you sure he doesn't give himself a sponge bath there or something?" she sounded alarmed at the prospect.

"I'd smell it if he did," Mason said.

"I didn't know you go around sniffing our customers," said Marge.

Mason looked flustered. The only thing that rescued him from Marge's further furtiveness was the door jingling with the arrival of new customers - or at least a customer. Paul the tiger was the one who stepped in through the door accompanied by the bells, as well as a slinky pine marten wearing a large backpack.

"Oh, Paul!" Marge chirped. "And with fourteen minutes to spare before you're starting."

"Good day," the bespectacled boy replied to her in a most polite tone that I was kinda envious of, considering how easily it came for him, "How are you today, Marge? Rory? Mason?"

"Sup," Mason said.

"Hey!" I smiled, and felt genuinely happy for reasons I wasn't sure of.

"Better now that you are here," purred Marge, "since that means I can get back to my paperwork while Rory here plays the boss."

She gestured at me with her tail and I wondered if she was going to smack me with again. I wondered if I should puff out my chest or something to show that I really was the alpha male around here now that Marge was going to leave me in charge of the floor again in the role of the...acting Captain? At least if we stuck to the starship analogy. I was sure that Marge wouldn't mind seeing us prance around in that skintight spandex Victor had stuffed himself into in my dreams. I wondered if he ever tried wrestling in a sexy red singlet...

Good grief...

"Uh, hi, everyone."

It was the pine marten speaking. He hadn't slipped past us and into the store while we were sharing greetings, but had instead hung around. He waved a quick paw at the three of us, behind and by the counter.

"Good day!" said Marge.

Paul smiled a bit, too, while he flicked a paw in the pine marten's direction.

"Jasper, here's everyone," the tiger said, "except Crystal, she isn't around today, I think, at least not now."

"Sup," Mason said again.

"Hello!" I said politely.

"Nice meeting you," the pine marten said. "Paul's talked a lot about you guys. He says it's fun to work with you all."

Marge let out a loud purr at the compliment coming from the young man.

"Our reputation precedes us, then," she murmured. "You're most welcome! I hope you know about all of our wonderful special discounts for Taylor University students. I do presume you are one since you certainly fit the phenotype..."

Well that was Marge using big words alright. My ears perked curiously while she showed off her eloquence for the newcomer.

"Paul's been talking about it, sure," he said. "I do need a new comparative anatomy book soon, so I should maybe look for your price here."

"We stock all the current coursebooks and have great offers on second paw ones too," Marge pitched in. "So you should definitely browse!"

"That's what I'm here for," the pine marten said.

"Come on, I've got time to show you around before I need to start working," Paul told his friend.

"Cool!"

They wandered away, leaving us to the counter. Marge watched them proceed with her paw rubbing on her chin.

"Damn it," she said.

"Something wrong?" I asked her courteously.

Marge looked at me.

"I think every day should be a 'Bring your cute friend to work' day, don't you think?" she mused.

Well that was...very Marge-like.

"You think?" I asked.

"Ohhhhh yessss..." she purred. "Mason, are you sure that you can't call that gorgeous cat friend of yours to drop by?"

Mason looked flustered, and possibly embarrassed.

"Do you mean Haakon?" he asked.

"Hhmmmm...the viking from the icy north..." Marge opined.

I felt guilty because the way she stated it made me think about all of the said lynx's sexy Facebook photos of him being all brooding and handsome by the fjords. Marge would probably claw things into bits if she ever got a chance to see those pictures. I don't think it would be safe for Haakon to come to the shop after that.

"And YOU!"

Uh oh.

"Yes?" I asked her.

"Don't you have any hot friends you could bring to work?" Marge stated. "Preferable men with big muscles and loose morale, if you know what I mean."

She winked to me, and I felt my tail jump towards the ceiling. I would probably have to warn Victor against approaching the store premises, too.

*

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