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Growvember

November 30th

Its not every day you wake up to feel your feet dipping into the ocean. I quickly drew my paws back in shock, think of how much flooding I caused from the displacement. Then I realized how much damage I was doing simply by moving as I quickly stood back up, sighing.

The size, was unfathomable. I knew I was more inland last night, but now I had grown so much I was reaching the ocean. Not only that, but if I laid down, I could probably take up the entire coastline at this size. It was ridiculously huge. And was that the curvature of the Earth? Is that how far I have come already? That I could even trot the entire globe in a matter of minutes. At this point, I doubt they would even nuke me if they could, if even that would work. They would need so many to kill me that it would probably wipe out all life as they knew it. All that was left was to hope the next day was an even greater growth spurt and I would float off the planet.

I sat down knowing that I probably crushed millions, but what could I do? Simply existing I was killing millions.

I thought back to the start of this month, how I was so excited to have grown for the first time. It was weird thinking of me that small, till the next day I realized that I wasn't done, and had to be removed from my own apartment, and taken to the camp.

I couldn't believe I was actually missing those days back at the first camp. It use to be so horrible with nothing to really do except go into the woods and wreck stuff. Course, it was where I had met Chris and Kevin. It made me wonder if I hadn't gone to ask the guards for any updates on why we were growing. I maybe Chris could've kept Kevin from joining the Rogue Macros? Maybe he would've learned that all those conspiracy theories were bunk?

But then, I would've never gotten to know Chris and...fall in love.

Sure, those first days in the woods were a bit weird when he explained his fetishes, but I just thought of them as that, fetishes. Hell, I discovered I had my own, though I would never get to live them out as he got to.

Honestly, those were the happiest times now that I thought about it. Just hanging out as we grew, getting to know each other better, I could feel my ears drooping behind my head as I thought more and more about it. Sure, talking and helping Nicolas break out of his shell, him saving my ass from the Rogue macros' attack, and knocking some sense into me when Sam and I broke up was nice and all, but Chris...I don't know. I never felt like he was judging me or looking down at me. Even when he was mad at me, I somehow knew he had already forgiven me.

Fights between me and Sam never felt like that. Nor did I ever feel a connection like I did with Chris. In the end, we may have called each other boyfriend and girlfriend, but somehow we both knew, deep down, it was really just a friends with benefits deal. Once someone real came along, it was only a matter of time before the breakup happened. If I could go back in time, I would confront her on this, and break up on that day. We shouldn't have been lying to ourselves for so long just for sex.

Hell, even Jeff and Mary were able to make their relationship work despite the size difference. We scorned them for the sexual acts, but honestly, I wish I was in Mary's place and Chris in Jeff's.

We really had been through a lot, even putting Chris through the ringer to talk to the military and convince them to let us do our own thing. Sure, he sounded a bit like he never got out of the 90s, but I could definitely see us being friends, if it was possible.

Finally, the fight with Markus. I wondered if we had waited, if he would've stopped growing at any point. Right now, I could have easily stopped him and none of us would've gone through such pain. But it was true, he could've kept growing right along side me, and the damage would be catastrophic. Fighting at this scale right now? Most of the world would be destroyed, billions killed. No, the right call was made.

I laid back down, looking up into space. No point in calling it a sky anymore, I had well grown past that. I knew I had probably snuffed out millions just doing this simple act, and it wretched my gut, but what else could I do? I was at the mercy of this size as the normal furs were to me. At least I wasn't crushing the world beneath my feet, feeling the crust give under my immense weight and changing the landscape.

Well, technically I probably just DID change the landscape sitting down didn't I? Fuck.

I just hoped Chris and the others made sure to get as far away from me as possible. If I did somehow find out I had crushed them, I wouldn't be able to take it. I would try to throw myself into the sun.

I guess that's it then, isn't it? The start of December I'll just be floating out into space. I'll try my best to nor touch the moon and knock it out of orbit, if I could still see it at least.

I was tempted to just get back up and walk around, mess with the ocean, just do what I wanted, but no. I was tired. Tired of growing, tired of being lonely, and just tired of being unhappy. I just wanted to go back to sleep and never wake up again.

Maybe tomorrow would be that day.