The Devine: Chapter 1
As i looked on the ground in front of me, I knew there was nothing i could do... I simply just stood there, more lost than I have ever been. More lost than I thought someone could be. It was like the whole world suddenly became covered in fog and there was not a damn thing i could do to see through it. I felt my heart drop to the bottom of my chest as I watched him fall to the ground, blood splattering out of his back going in every direction. I tried to scream, but nothing came out... Not even air. I couldn't breathe, couldn't speak... Couldn't even bare to stand anymore. I simply feel to my knees where I stood and just looked at his collapsed body in front of me... It was all I could do I looked up at the offender to see who could have done such a thing, but it did no good. They were wearing a cloak with a hood that completely covered their figure to the point you could not even tell if they were female or male. In their right paw they were holding a bow straight out, the string still vibrating from the fired arrow and their gaze still straight on the target. All i could see was their eyes, solid gold and as bright as the stars in the sky. Their gaze we beyond intense, it was as if they were looking through the one they just killed and into something beyond. Slowly they turned their gaze onto me and whispered "En Shala Kadein". I cocked my head to the side not knowing what it was suppose to mean. It was at that moment they turned they head to the sky and pointed at the stars with their free paw and whispered more loudly "En Shala Kadein". I still couldn't understand what they were saying and my mind to cloudy and cluttered with the death of the one I loved to try and decipher another language. All I could feel was utter chaos, followed my anger, followed by complete sadness beyond what anyone could describe. All I knew was that my world just ended and someone was trying to say something I didn't fucking get. He turned back to regard me and gave me the same stair he had given my lover, his golden eyes piercing more than just my own. I could feel them going through me in a strange, almost supernatural way. _____________________________________________________________________________________________
I awoke to the same blank room covered in sweat that I had always done for years. It was nothing new and over the past few months I had gotten used to it. It wasn't every night but was often enough that it might as well have been. I never let it get to me though, I had learned to live with my terrible bouts of dreams and night terrors. As far as I know I had always had them, even as a little tike. The doctors never figured out why my mind focused on such things, but at this point i just wished they were a little less vivid. I suppose though that it could be worse, so I had grown accepting of the condition. They tried to give me Clonazepam as well as other similar medication, but none of them worked well enough to keep the dreams out. The only thing that seemed to work even somewhat was the get drunk off my mind and sleep. Only issue with that is I didn't like drinking, didn't like the taste and overall didn't enjoy the feeling of being out of my mind. Plus I would wake up at the same time either way, just I would have a hangover instead. That and I would feel even less rested and at this point that was almost more worse than the dreams. Ever since I had moved away from my parents, I had an actual decent life, nothing to ever really complain about and I had always managed to make it with the help of friends or roommates. Sometimes I didn't really need their help, but I never turned it down unless I felt really guilty about whatever it was they were trying to do. I'm not sure if that really made me a bad person or not, but the way I looked at it was that no matter what option i chose, someone was going to get upset. Glancing over at my window I was somewhat shocked to see it so bright outside, somewhere near noon if not after. I shouldn't have slept this much considering I went to sleep only at around 2030 last night. I guess the dream just extended how long I slept for, and this wouldn't be the first time it had caused me to be passed out for so long. All i could do was accept that most of my day was wasted, that I was late for school, and that it was pointless to even bother getting dressed for the one class I had left that I could actually manage to get to if I half-assed tried. School didn't bother to punish me for skipping a day, coming in late or missing classes. They were well aware of my problem and the doctors I had all seen wrote very specific documents stating that I couldn't be blamed and that it could not be helped. WHatever classes I missed at this point the teachers just gave me the lesson plans. A few of them even gave me the whole year's plan so I could get ahead or study as I wanted. All that mattered was that I turned in whatever work I missed in class that day in at a reasonable time. Other than that I was set. I could not help feeling like somehow I was cheating the system, but I had grown to accept that as well. Rolling myself out of bed and onto my feet, I gave myself a quick little squatting stretch and a few twists of the back and picked up my phone off the floor. It was more than happy to let me know that my guess of the time was correct and that it had 15% battery life left and urged me to put it in "Battery Save Mode" which everyone knows does nothing. I didn't have time to charge it so I simply turned it off and set it back down on the bed until I had gotten dressed. As i walked over the the closet, I couldn't but help but to think back on the dream. There were all kind of the same theme and topic, and even some of the details between different ones meshed at time, but they were always somehow different enough to validate it as a completely new and separate dream. It was like my mind could not stop coming up with ways to torture me at night. I simply shook my head and cast the dream out of my mind and grabbed one of my at least 2 dozen white t-shirts and a pair of all similar jeans of the same size and brand. It was all I liked to wear and would. I have a few going out clothes, black dress pants, a few polos, dress shirts, over-shirts, but only 2 or 3 pairs of each, and all bought at discount prices. Hell everything I bought was at discount prices, no reason to buy the latest and greatest just to have it "go out of style" in a few months. To me clothes were clothes and as long as they fit and functioned I didn't give two... or even a shit. I slid the shirt of my head, put my arms through it, and slid my pants on fastening them and putting my worn black leather belt on. I walked back over to my bed and grabbed my phone sliding it into my pocket while debating whether or not I wanted to wear an overshirt today since the weather the last few days had been a bit chilly even for Fall. That was one thing I could say about the weather outside as of late, it seemed to have no idea what it wanted to do, sort of like a mirror of my life at present. I never really intended on finishing school, but here I was still getting ready to go to class and the next year being my last. There was really no point in not going. With that being said however, I had still yet to find someone to spend my life with or even truly decent friends that I would keep in touch with after school was over. The closest I could compare my current friends to was perhaps roommates that were okay with you staying there, so long as you paid what money you could to pay your share. As far as dating went, the urge was there but with my medical condition and just my all around independence I would surely drive them away even if I found someone. I knew those two thing we're never going to change about me, and honestly I didn't want them to. I would rather live alone than to rely on someone taking care of me. It's not that I wouldn't appreciate it, I knew I would always end up feeling guilty cause either I didn't, or couldn't, do something in return. Hell, let's not even get into what sleeping in the same bed would be like while I was having one of my terrors. Running my paws through my fur between the ears, I looked around at the few possessions that I had. It truly wasn't much, but appropriate for someone like me. I had a bike, an actual nice one that I managed to get via happenstance of being in the right place at the right time. I had a nightstand, a three-tier metal basket holder for my clean clothes, a rather beat up and worn down cheap computer desk from a box store that was while nice and functional was falling apart and all of about 80 bucks. My bed was simply a box spring and cheap foam mattress from the same store, but had served its purpose for the last 12 years. I thought about getting a new one when I had the money, if I ever got a job, and replacing it with a newer one. However that was a future I could not dwell too heavily on as it was not going to happen anytime soon. I walked to my door and picked up the textbook and notepad I needed for the one class I had left, as well as some of the finished work for a few classes I missed last week and stuffed them into my backpack with the same care that someone would an old worn out jacked into the bin. I lived in a fairly decent apartment, nothing I could really complain about. It was more or less midgrade all in all and the monthly rent fit the place. Plus, I didn't really need anything bigger than a studio. It fit me, I lived alone, and I didn't need a separate bedroom or a bunch of space to put things. Hell it's not like I owned a whole bunch anyhow, and no one to come over. Honestly if I could have even smaller I probably would, just as long as i had a bathroom, so to speak, and a stove and sink I could live happily enough. I walked through the door with the same care that I did everyday, not really expecting much, and not wanting to go out anywhere, even to school. Locking the door I made my way out of the complex and on the sidewalk to school. I would have liked to be able to take my bike to school but aside from the fact that it was only a quarter mile down the road and the bike was definitely a "steal it if you can" item, I never felt the actual desire to ride it for such a disappointing trip just to get to class a little early. The bike was meant for trails in the woods, and that is where is was fun to ride. After a few minutes of walking, I heard the familiar roar of a Fusion Raptor. A sound I have come to expect every morning and a reminder of something, well two somethings, I could not have. I couldn't have the sports car because I was poor, living on my own, and had parents that if could be graded like a homework assignment would be a D-. The other, well... that's the real kicker and I guess more my fault than anything else. It was a Jackal, absolutely stunning with solid gold fur. I hated to admit it but I had a thing for males, and I often kept it a secret simply because I really didn't care to act on... these desires. The fact I was gay was, honestly kind of a let down for me. I ask myself everyday why on Earth would I desire a male when I would like a female, but I guess the Heart overrules decisions like these regardless of what your mind wants. Plus, I couldn't have him anyway even if I truly wanted to act on the desires. He for all purposes seemed completely straight, from the way he dressed, to the way he acted. He didn't seem to have a single ounce of gay in him, which was somehow a disappointment and relief at the same time. But, that didn't stop me from looking at him, wanting, desiring. Hell sometimes I would think if I could just give him a quicky I would be good. Than my mind would race and I would lose focus on everything I was doing eventually followed by being depressed for the next few days. So I normally just ignored him and walked by if I had to, and never looked at him as he drove by. It was a routine I had gotten used to and at this point it no longer bother me all that much. It was just another thing in my daily routine I had to deal with. I guess I could have avoided it considering he drove the same route nearly every day around the same time for his classes. But I didn't, so I guess it was my fault more than anything. As I entered the grounds the bell for the next period started ringing and I could see the flocks upon flocks of students leaving one class on their way to another while in between meeting with their friends for a quick chat, or current lover for a quick kiss and a "I missed you speech". It was like this for all six periods and I always silently chuckled to myself because it was the one thing you could count on to be consistent. Habits were for the most part always consistant, including my own. The last class for today on my schedule was "The history of genetic engineering". It was a required class for everyone to take and it taught us how we came into existence, how animal genetics were spliced into human DNA to create us as a whole, as well as every sub-species. Right now we were learning how and why certain splices never ended up working, as well as why some species were not selected at all. Today was suppose to focus on the Bovine species, but as I entered the class the teacher was nowhere to be found, rather a substitute teacher was in her place stating her name was Ms. Beckley. Funny enough however was that she was in fact of Bovine decent, and from the looks alone it was easy to tell her lineage was of Domesticated Cow. She waited till everyone was in the class and sitting down and for the last chime of the bell to ring before uttering even a single word. "Hello class, if you have not seen already I am your Sub for the day, Mr. Myinski is out with a sore throat and fever so he could not come in today. My name is Ms. Beckley in case you have never seen me standing in for another class, and today we were suppose to be talking about the Bovine Creation. Ironic I know, but we are not going to have that lesson today as I will gladly admit this type of research and lesson plan is well above my level of teaching skills, and quite frankly understanding. So with that being said we have two choices today, and what ever the majority of the class votes will be what we do. Choice on like always is a study period. No phone, no talking, no passing secret lovers note, just homework or studying. The other option is small group discussion about what you have learned, or what will be coming up on one of your test, and so on. Of course if I hear topic other than what pertains to this class, we will have mandatory study period." She reached on the desk and picked up what appeared to be a personal book she had been reading and continued "You all know how much I pay attention and know that I have the full interest of the student body in mind" as she walked to behind the desk and sat down in the chair and cracked open the book. "I suggest you pick wisely, and I'm not going to bother holding a vote cause the same choice always wins, so keep it down and work hard" Leaning back in the chair she scooted her rump back to get comfy and just stared straight into the book without another word. Quite a few students in the class gave a quick chuckle as we all knew at this point this was her routine. We also knew if we got out of hand she would lay down the law and pass out detention or give us some sort of work to do. But if we just kept it down, talked amongst ourselves and were good, she would never lift her eyes of that book. I was actually tempted to crack open the textbook and read ahead considering none of my "friends" were in this class with me anyhow, but I was also tempted to ask if anyone had a phone charger that was compatible with my phone and plug it in while I surfed the web. My phone was an older, going out of date really fast model, and had it's days where it did nothing right type of phone. Most of the students in this class were more... upscale and had the latest and greatest tech in their pockets whether is was the new XQS Tablet Pro, or the Galaxy Elite v7 phone, and most of the new tech had more power charging abilities that my phone did not support, or the charge connectors all together had moved on to some new format. I had a very dated Tablet that was going on 7 years old, and while it wasn't bad, it was starting to show its age when compared to the new stuff, and no where near as fast or compatible with newer programs. But it still got done what I needed it to do so I really couldn't beat to hard on it. My phone was about the same, and software updates for both had stopped a good while ago as well as any accessories. I dismissed the idea in favor of actually just taking the time to relax and let my mind wonder. I would have closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep but seeing how I just woke not even an hour ago it would have been a pointless endeavor to even try. I was better off just cracking a book open and just staring at whatever page not actually reading it. At least then if another teacher or administration walked in it would at least look like I was doing work. Just as I reached over and grabbed the classbook out of my sack, the fire alarm started. Everyone in the class stopped talking for a brief second to acknowledge that the alarm was going off, and look at Ms. Beckley for direction. She of course just sat there, looking over the top of her book wondering the same thing the students were. Whether the alarm was real or no, the rules clearly stated that all staff and students must evacuate. group by group everyone got up and grabbed their things and lined up at the door, whispering to each other over the blare of the alarm. Everyone was talking loud enough to be heard but no one could make out what was being said. It was only after we had all gotten in line that Ms. Beckley got hope, more than likely hoping that the alarm would have stopped by now. She gave a slight huff as she stood, glancing out the windows before exclaiming "Oh my". We all turned and looked in her direction and that's when we all saw the black smoke rising from the cafeteria. The building itself was not fully encompassed by flames yet, but one could tell from the smoke alone pouring out of the window it was about to go up. Everyone in the class started to panic and backing from the window to the door, talking more loudly to themselves. Ms. Becky of course was as well composed as ever and simply turned herself back to the class, before addressing everyone. "Well listen up students, apparently the school is actually on fire so just line up single fire and let's go to the staff parking area like we are suppose to. And of course let's do it in a well practiced, and calm manner cause the cafe is on fire and not this building, so there is no need to panic." Everyone followed her instructions like well trained dogs and not a minute later we were out the door heading to the staff lot. We could already see many other classes standing in group separated by a few feet from each other, all looking at the cafe which was now starting to sprout flames to the exterior. We could hear sirens in the distance and knew it would not be too long before they showed up to put out the flames. I couldn't help but wonder how the fire even started since the kitchen just got remodeled last year to improve both functionality and safety. I knew everything was gas with many shutoffs and sensors, so something had to have severely gone wrong in order for this to happen. I could also summize that the city was not going to be happy with rebuilding the cafe a second time within a year's time. I started to look around the groups to see which classes came out to the front and which ones made it to the back. I didn't know all of the teachers, but I did know on some level about 85% of them. The only ones I didn't really know where the teachers who taught lower level students and special needs. The rest I had at some point during the years and thanks to my condition most remembered me so I wasn't another face in the crowd to them. Sadly though as much as it was a blessing we could know each other on a more personal level, they would always know my face so that if I did something against the rules they would never have to guess. That and the fact that I was the only Welsh Sheepdog in the school, let alone the entire town, and within about a 200 mile radius. My breed was rare in its pure form, usually overshadowed by Borders or other more common Cattle Dogs, or with the different "Herding breeds" intermixing with ours. There were more less common "Subs" than ours, but we were nowhere near as common as Labs, Borders. Hell there were even more Chows than us, though not by a great difference. Just as I was about to wave to my former Algebra II teacher, he appeared out of the corner of my eyes and I could not help but to track him. His pure Golden Coat was just so damn easy to see and become distracted by. Most had a little bit of some darker color at least along their backs, but he didn't. He was just pure solid gold with not even a speck of dark fur to be found, at least that i knew since I had never seen him naked. I knew that in his culture he was seen as impure, but also as a blessing at the same time. I didn't know the exact meaning behind it, but it had something to do along the lines of being seen as a representation of a spirit. Or maybe it was a savior, or some sort of ruler. I must have lost track of time at some point because when I stopped examining his body and clothes to look back at his head, he was staring directly at me. Our eyes met for a split second before i averted mine hurriedly and pretended to look at other random things as if I had just been observing here and there, but I kept him in my field of vision just so I could observe what he was doing. I couldn't be 100% sure but from what I could see he had stopped and was still looking either at me or in my general direction. I kept up my act and started looking for someone I could talk to or something that would catch my interest. But there was no one and nothing that I could find. I slowly turned my gaze back to his direction to find him actually looking at me, meeting my eyes with his.