FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

Unwanted, disgusting freak, monstrosity, mistake, useless, these were some of the names I had been called over the years. They were what were yelled or hissed at me as I shuffled along home bare footed. The path that lead to my home was just a dirt track through high grass and was full of sharp stones I had to try to avoid. I had tried to clear the path once, sadly the next day it had all been put back.

I was born into one of the largest prides of Werecats in the world. However unlike the others, our ruling council decided the pride needed to stay 'pure'. That meant no species other than feline Weres and no deviations from the general norm.

The pomposity of the pride was such that they barely even listened to the grand council, a governing body for all Weres. We didn't even have any Sigma's in the pride, the others all believing them to be impure atrocities. Any Weres who were not Feline that approached our borders were turned away, some attacked outright, even a grand council member had nearly been attacked.

However, I was a blemish on the prides perfect record.

As a Were-snowleopard, I should fit right in you would think. However this couldn't have been any further from the truth. I gave a sigh as I tried to avoid eye contact with a family who hurried to get inside away from me, my own family. My animal half sat on my shoulder, tail around my neck as we passed and he whimpered lightly seeing his own sire and mother, even our brother and sister spurn us so blatantly.

Unlike them, my shift had stopped growing at an early stage, remaining no more than a kitten in appearance. Instead of helping to understand why he didn't grow and finding a way to fix it, I had been ousted by them at the young age of ten, forced to live alone with little to no help.

I tried to keep an open eye out for any movements as I walked. There were a lot of people around who enjoyed using me as hunting practice, with or without my prior knowledge. I hurried along the path to my small den not far from the border once rocks started to fly, thrown by some of the kids who weren't whisked away by their parents.

My den, or home, was effectively just a shed at best that I had been given to live in. It was tiny, smelled terrible and a constant target by the others in the pride when they walked past. Thankfully I had anchored it well enough they couldn't just overturn it.

Inside was tight, barely able to fit the chest of draws, table, chair and small wood burning brazier I had scrounged up for heat. I was forced to sleep in my kitten form just because I couldn't get a bed in there. A small lantern kept the place illuminated and I had a bolt on the door which I had rigged so I could lock it from outside. It wasn't much but it was mine, for now anyway.

I was sure that was going to change soon, the prides tolerance for me would soon run out I was sure and the council would send for me. The pride would probably take the orders loosely and take it as carte blanche to deal with me however they saw fit. Most of the adults would do as ordered and take me to the council, the younger teens however would prefer a more... permanent and painful solution.

I had been packing a bag for the last few days ready to flee. I had been lucky that I found the large hiking bag when I did if I was honest. Packed with dried meats and fruits, some water, sewing supplies, some medical supplies, a few clothes, a small pot, a blanket and the only possession I could really call my own, the basket I was given when I was born. As I sealed the door to my 'home' I decided tonight would be the night.

I bode my time, checking over everything and packing it carefully. When the sun finally set, I had my kitten check the situation outside to see if anyone was around. When he gave the all clear I crept out, closing the place up to make it look like I was still home and skulked silently towards the border.

I had gotten probably twenty meters away when I heard something behind me and looked back. A lion, barely growing into his mane, was stalking towards my former home and sniffing around probably to see if I was still there and seeking a way in other than the front door.

"I left just in time," I thought to myself before turning back to my silent escape "The council has sent for me now I'm on borrowed time." This only spurred me to move on faster but I had to stay silent. If I was attacked, I would stand little chance of survival unless I was close to the border and could sprint over it before they caught me.

A couple of minutes later a loud angry roar came from behind me. I abandoned all pretence of being quiet and my pace turned into an all out sprint. The lion had discovered I wasn't home, much to his chagrin, thus my time for subtlety was up.

I was getting close to the border, able to feel the edge of the territory like a thrumming electric feeling inside me. It was a natural instinct that stopped anyone crossing the border without permission, now however, It felt like freedom was mere steps away.

I heard the paws push off of the ground just in time to duck as a large body went flying over me, powerful jaws and sharp teeth snapping shut just above my head. A killing blow, if I hadn't ducked in time, he would have cracked my skull like a walnut. The large male lion ground to a halt and spun around to face me but I continued to run, dashing past him with little hesitation. I wasn't quick enough however to beat his reflexes when his paw lashed out and grabbed my leg, tripping me and sent me sprawling to the ground.

I rolled over onto my back just in time for him to be upon me with a snarl. I was barely able to keep his maw away from my head and neck. If he managed to get a grip on either of them he would throttle me to death in an instant. His claws raked over my body, slashing deep cuts wherever they landed covering me in deep bloody gashes and searing red hot pain.

I had little time for the niceties of fighting with him however, knowing that there were more felines, specifically the lions from his family, on the way thanks to his earlier roar. I turned to the best tactic I could think of at the time even though it made me slightly sick to think of it. My kick to his crotch had been as strong and accurate as I could muster. He yowled out loudly in pain from my attack and retreat off of me to nurse his aching plums.

Scrabbling to my feet I half limped half ran to the border as he managed to gather himself and began scrabbling after me. As i crossed it, I looked back hoping he had stopped and earned myself a going away present from him. A deep scratch across the face from one of his large powerful fore-paws. I screamed as pain blossomed on my face like angry, bloody roses and was sent sprawling to the ground some distance back from the force of the swipe.

I heard the rest of the pride approach but they never crossed the border. I raised a middle finger to them as they all released a roar of dominance and strength as I was cut from my birth pride forever. I wondered if my family would miss me or if there was anyone who would. however I couldn't linger on that for long. I would have cussed them out, I was really tempted to say that they weren't good enough to deserve me but I wouldn't sink to their level.

Opening my eyes I could see... nothing. Total blackness and tried to hold back a whimper of terror hoping it was simply the pain and blood blinding me. Limping away from the Pride and groping around blindly I soon found a tree and sat at its base.

I knew I couldn't shift to repair the damage done, my animal was only a kitten and didn't have the strength to repair everything on his own. I panted heavily and when I reached out a searching hand for him, was comforted by him pressing himself to my seeking palm.

"Bourn," my kitten whimpered softly staying pressed against my hand "We need to shift, I can..."

"No Roe," I cut him off panting heavily, fighting off the painful exhaustion that was starting to overtake me and the shock my body was starting to go into "You're too weak... we are too weak, just... act as my eyes..." he gave a whine in reply and I started to feel over my injuries.

"W...we have a few that are dangerously deep," he reported with another whimper as I continued to feel and stopped on one over my stomach that made him hiss lightly as I felt over it. Thankfully the overall pain was drowning out the pain from my exploring fingers. If it was any longer and deeper than it was I would have been disembowelled "That's the worse one... the one on our face is just as bad."

"He missed arteries at least..." I responded giving a groan and wiped what I could of my face "Probably wanted me to stay alive as long as possible... be able to torment me longer that way... or say I fought back..." giving a sigh I shrugged off the bag and started rummaging finding the medical kit and the small sewing kit.

"No... Bourn, please let's shift, don't..." Roe started.

"Just Guide my hands Roe!" I snapped at him irritably cutting him off getting a disgruntled meow in reply "Sorry buddy... I know you just want to help but we don't have time to get into this argument again, so please just... help me keep us alive ok?" he gave a saddened mewl, reluctantly agreeing, I would need to spoil him again at some point when I got the chance.

Over the next few minutes I somehow managed to thread the needle and bit down on a stick I found close by. Taking a few deep, unsteady breaths I began the excruciating process of stitching my stomach closed, one painful punch and pull of the needle at a time.

By time I had finished I had bitten through the stick and my gums were bleeding from having done so. It was closed at least and I panted heavily as I rested a moment before taking out my first aid kit and started to cover it and the rest of my cuts as best I could with what I had. I changed my shirt next and tore the destroyed one into a long strip which I used to cover my face. It would stick to the injury clearly and probably irritate the area badly but would keep the flies away at the least.

Taking several gulps of water from a bottle I had, I repacked the bag before starting to get up, letting Roe up onto my shoulder. We had to move, this was no-man's land, a patch of land that divided the packs and prides. It was dangerous however as rogues prowled this land and would quite happily steal everything I owned, and kill me just to make it easier. Although that was starting to look more like mercy than anything.

Roe whimpered and nuzzled at my ear gently as I started walking, the kitten having to act as my eyes, telling me what was in my way and if I went off course. It was slow, agonising progress, every step I took made the stitches on my stomach pull and I worried for them breaking. Roe had told me they didn't look too great but were holding the injury closed at least.

Thankfully we eventually found a cave to bunker down in and rest for the night. It would be cold, and uncomfortable but it was shelter. Roe helped me gather some wood and get a small fire going

after explaining the process to him and he guided my hands in building it and getting it burning.

He was worried at first I had intended to use the fire to sear my wounds closed even after countless reassurances that I had no plans to do so. Finally after it was burning and heating the small cave well, I pulled the blanket out and found a spot near the fire to lay down to sleep, dozing off after only a few moments into a fitful sleep.