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Who am I? - Chapter 10

Christopher sat down at the kitchen table, tears welled up and ready to fall at any moment. The young man had a lot on his mind as of late.

"Chris?" His mother approached him in a hurry, hating to see her son in pain, as many parents would, "What's going on?" Her voice was soft and endearing as she sat down, placing a small hand on his shoulder.

"Mom..." He wanted to speak, but his words failed him every time he tried to speak up, "I...don't..I'm not comfortable."

"Not comfortable with what? Is something going on at school? Are you being bullied?" The woman stood, going for the phone to make a phone call to the principal, as if that would change anything going on.

"No." He let out a puff of air, "Mom...it's me, I'm not comfortable with me."

There was a loud stomping of feet as a muscular man entered the room, "You're not comfortable with yourself?" A loud scoff exited the tiger's mouth, "Man up, you'll be fine. Stop being such a girl." Just as quickly as he had entered, he left, taking a fresh can of beer with him.

Phoebe's eyes rolled in the back of her head, shrugging off her husband, "What your father is trying to say, in his special way, is that you're in an interesting part of life and it's completely normal to not feel yourself."

Chris's frustration was growing, mostly with himself, as he struggled to find the words, and the space to say them, "That's not it."

"Hun, I promise, just give it some time..."

"Mom! Please." The shout rang through the ears of those around him, and he took a deep breath to calm his growing nerves, "I..I'm not comfortable, because I don't belong in this body..."

The dingo's brow pushed inwards, unsure of what exactly her young son was trying to say, "Of course you do.."

"I'm not a boy." The words blurted out so quickly, even Chris didn't realize she had said them. She said them.

A wave of understanding rushed over the mother's face, followed quickly by another wave of confusion, "Where is this coming from...you've never...you never said anything..."

Tears that had been building up behind Chris's eyes, now flooded over with a ferocity unmatched by any others. "I've always felt different, Mom. It took me a while to figure out why...and then I was too scared to tell you...and dad."

"I..I just don't understand...how did you know? Are you sure? You've always been my little man..." The room was spinning around the poor woman, trying to do best for her son...daughter...she wasn't sure.

"I..m...ssure mom." The sniffling girl sat in front of her mom, appearing to be a whole new person to both herself and the world around her.

"What can I do?" Phoebe spoke, this time with more confidence in her voice, determined to help her child.

***

The two siblings sat on the swingset in their backyard, yelling pouring out from inside their house. The swing set creaked in it's old age and the even wind seemed too scared to stir.

"Do you know?" Kris asked, her voice gentle and soft.

"Hmm?" Thomas tilted his head in confusion, trying to process what was being said. He had overheard a lot of what was happening, but was still confused by what all it meant, "Well. I know what you told mom, but I have a lot of questions. "

Kris sat up in her spot, making sure to give her younger brother the undivided attention the matter required, "Go ahead."

"So...you're a girl?"

"Yes." Kris couldn't help but let out a small laugh, the simplicity of the question catching her off-guard.

"But you're in a boy's body? How does that work?"

Now for the tougher ones, "Well the way I appear and the way I feel are different, I guess."

"But..why?"

"I've been asking myself that same question for years." Kris sighed, reaching an arm around her brother, and pulled him in, "Is that okay with you?"

"Of course it is." The 13 year old boy rolled his eyes, that standard teenage duh look, and shrugged his sister off.

More yelling came from the house across the yard, their parents seemingly growing angrier by the second.

"Probably just me, though." Thomas added with a grimace.

"One step at a time, I guess."

***

"Get your pansy ass out of my house." His arms swung violently in a drunken rage.

"Honey, calm down. We're not kicking him...her? Out."

Kris smiled at her mom, appreciating every ounce of effort she was making towards understanding.

"Call HIM what HE is- a boy and if HE tries to say otherwise, HE is not welcome in my home."

"Dad- STOP. I want her here!"

"Thomas...no.." Kris said softly, she didn't want any of this to come back on her little brother.

"You listen here, you little shit..." Their dad charged forward, staring down the brave 13 year old... " You can shut your annoying mouth or you can get.." The man raised a hand, bringing it down in, what seemed like, slow motion.

"Stop!" Kris stepped forward, guarding her brother from further emotional or physical harm, "You leave him out of this. Your issue is with me." It wasn't too long before the beer bottle in her father's hand went hurdling across the room. The glass shattered against the wall behind her, causing a terrifying silence to take over the room.

"You're right," Mark glared down at Kris, his arm and fist raising back into the air, ready to reign down on top of her. But she refused to back down, concern for her brother energizing her to the point of fearlessness. The strike came down, hitting her square in the shoulder. For once she was happy he was drunk or it might've hit harder. She winced in pain, ready to continue to fight, but her mom interjected.

"Kris!" Phoebe spoke, "Maybe, for now, leaving would be best for everyone...give us all some time to process." Her voice was soft and somber, but Kris felt that it wasn't just her dad who needed the space.

"Mom...I have nowhere to go.."

"Call one of your friends, dear, I'm sure one of them can take you in for a few days."

"Can I at least pack a bag?"

Phoebe looked to Mark, as if asking permission, but his words flew freely, "Everything in that room belongs to my son, not whatever you're claiming to be. You can have his things when you're done playing pretend."

The gruff Tiger walked out of the room, the creeks of the floorboards fading as he made his way down the hall.

"Mom, please...just a few of my things.." Kris pleaded.

"Oh honey, you know how your father can be. This came out of nowhere, and you surprised all of us. Give us some time. There's no sense in taking your things...We'll talk in the morning." Phoebe hugged her daughter awkwardly, either from her own reservations or from her knowledge of how different the reality would be.

All Kris could do was stand there, her body frozen in place from the shock. Her family had turned on her, her greatest fear had come true.

"You should go now, Thomas and I need to get to bed."

Thomas stepped away from their mother, looking up to her with a confused expression. "If she has to leave, I'm leaving too." He crossed his arms in defiance.

This pulled Kris out of her trance, "Thomas no." She knew that her brother was there for her, but it would never ease her pain knowing they both had to get punished. "Go with mom. I'll be okay."

"But..." He tried, but was pulled along, as if his voice hadn't been heard.

It wasn't long before Kris was left with only her thoughts, and the reality of not having somewhere to sleep was finally sinking in.

"What am I going to do?"

***

Kris paced back and forth through the hallway, the linoleum floors making an echo with each step. The door to the classroom seemingly laughed at her as she struggled working up the courage to walk in.

A few other straggling classmates lingered, shooting weird looks her way as they walked into the room.

"They know." Krist thought, her anxiety getting the best of her, "He told them and that's why they looked at me..."

"Just go in..." Lumina's voice rang loudly in her head. "You can do it."

A hand landed on Kris's shoulder and, for a moment, she thought that Loomy had somehow manifested beside her. "Are zou coming to zee clazz? Ve are about to begin." It may not have been the voice she expected, but a friendly one, nonetheless.

Kris gave a small nod in response, hoping to have a few more moments to psych herself up.

"Vell, come on zen." Mr. Zimmerman held the door open, waiting for his student to move from her spot.

"Oh..uh..okay..." The few steps in felt like miles, but she did manage to get herself through the threshold.

The quiet was a nice reprise from the loud laughter she'd imagined. Even more to her surprise, however, was the missing fox from the seat behind her.

The weight of nerves were finally lifted as Kris took her seat and class was underway. She could at least feel normal for now.