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Bruno's gone away. He sat me down, and told me he'd fallen for someone he met at school. A Russian Gray Fox, and he was very sorry but he didn't love me anymore. He cried and begged me to forgive him. "Misha, if you don't love me anymore, I can't do anything but let you go, and hope this guy makes you as happy as you deserve to be" I say hugging him. I cry on his big shoulders and he tells me he does care, and it's like cutting off his tail to leave me. Misha's as crying as hard as I am. My heart is breaking but as much for him as for me. There is such pain in his eyes now. And I hurt badly but my world didn't just end like I always thought it would. There is life after your lover leaves you. I learned that painful lesson when Dmitri left me. It won't hurt near as much this time. But it will hurt.

I ask him to wait, and I give him a check. "Bruno no want money from Katya" he says softly. "Misha, I promised I'd send you to school and pay for it, this should be more than enough to pay for your degree, and let you live comfortably til you graduate" I say. "Bruno no want Claude's money, no did" he says. "Misha, if you ever loved me, please take this, I can't take care of you anymore, you don't belong with me, but I can help you, for the love we shared til now" I beg him. "Katya want Bruno finish School?" He asks quietly. "I do, Misha I still love you, and part of me always will, even if I know you belong with this Fox now" I say gently. "I will always want the best for my Misha, and want him to be happy" I say hugging him. "Misha, please" I beg him. "Bruno no need this much" he says softly. "You will, you have a long time to go til you graduate and get your PhD, please Misha, for all you've been to me, a Million isn't too much" I say breaking into tears. Bruno is silent for several minutes. I know my Bear, he's thinking it out. And I know he'll figure it will help me heal to know he's going to be well tended and able to get through school.

"Bruno take, know Katya want him happy and love him still" he says kissing me. "Thank you Misha" I say softly. "Now please, I need to be alone for a while" I say breaking down. Bruno kisses me on the top of my head mane, and he goes to our room and packs.

I go to find Sam. And I cry on his big chest for five minutes until I can pull myself together enough to tell him what happened. Sam pulls me to him and holds me tightly. Oscar holds me from behind. "My poor little Lion" Sam says softly. I grab Oscar and I hug him and cry. "Claude, I have no words for how sorry I am that he did this to you" Oscar says gently. "Nothing you could say, sweet Bull" I say trying to stop crying.

Sam's been silent. "Claude, I am being selfish here, but it means more to me than I can tell you, that you came running to Oscar and I for comfort" Sam says. And he and Oscar hold me tightly. "You guys love me, I know you do, and you've always been there for me, lending me your strength and support, so where else would I go" I say softly. "Nigel, or your Dad or Harry, or Graham" Sam says petting me. "They love you, and you came to us" Oscar says. "I know, I needed my Bulls, and the love and strength you've always given me." I say hugging them both. "I need to be strong inside now, and you two are the strongest males I know of, and you both love me." I say. Sam and Oscar hold me tightly and lay me on the bed. And Sam asks me to tell him what happened. So I do. Held tightly between my Hispanic Bulls I tell them how my Misha left me.

"He sat you down and told you at least" Sam says. "He knew you were almost broken before" Oscar says. "It's so you to give him money to finish school" he adds. "Jim'll be furious" Sam says. "Oh God, Dad" I moan. "When I know for sure Bruno's gone from the house, then I'll tell Dad" I say very scared for how he'll react.

Nigel comes in and hugs me. "Sergei told me, Claude" he says. And he and Sam and Oscar hold me for a while. Bruno comes in. Sam is glaring at him. "Bruno say goodbye, beg Claude to forgive one day" he says kissing. "I hope you two are happy, and I mean it sincerely, Misha" I say breaking down again. "Misha, I am sorry to lose you, but I am happy to have had you for the two years we were together" I say softly. "But please go, let me start to heal now" I say kissing him. "Misha sorry" he says, and he's crying hard too. "Not your fault, Misha, it happens that way sometimes." I say trying not to cry anymore. "Da" he says. "Dosvedonya" he says kissing me. I nod.

And just like that, the Russian Grizzly I thought would love me forever walks out of my life for good. And I know in my heart, I'm a broken Lion now. "No more mates" I say angrily. "I can't keep them, and they have all taken some of my heart with them" I say angrily. "Claude, you know you don't mean that" Nigel says. "You're too much like me, you need to be with someone" Nigel says. "You do, Nigel's right, Claude" Oscar says. "I'll be alone until I die now, Nigel, I'm flawed somehow, I can find them but I can't hang on to them, they've all left me, no matter how much I loved them, they've all dumped me" I say breaking down.

"Master Claude, I've moved your things, you're now in the room between me and Miklos, and Masters Sam and Oscar" Alfred says gently. "Thanks, Alfred" I say weeping again. "Thanks, Alfred, this way my Baby Bull and I can keep an eye on our broken hearted Lion" Sam says softly. I run to my new room. "Take some getting used to, being here" I moan. and I lay on the bed and I break down again. I can hear Sam and Oscar and Nigel talking. And they're worried that I'll run or have a nervous breakdown again. But I know running won't solve anything. I'll be in a new place and still miserable. I didn't even see this coming, nor did I with Dmitri. Marty, well, I felt him pull away a bit but ignored it. Some record I have. dumped twice and left for someone to go back to their wife. I'm an old maid at 25. I need to talk to someone who loves me and will support me in my grief.

I take my cell phone and I call Papa Harry. And I cry on the phone to him. "Does Jim know yet, Claude?" he asks. "No, it's not been very long, Papa Harry, barely an hour." I say and I break down again. "Claude, I'll be home as soon as I can" Harry says softly. "Will you be OK?" he asks. "I think Sam and Oscar and Nigel are determined to keep a direct eye on me" I say sadly. "We are" Sam says in the doorway. "I'll be there as soon as I can" Harry says. "I love you Papa Harry" I say gently. "I love you too, boy" he says. "I'll call Jim if you want me to" he says. "Please, Papa Harry, Dad'll just roar and I can't cope" I say crying. "I will" he says. "Claude, I beg you, don't run, you need us" Harry says softly. "I won't, Papa Harry, I can't run from this pain, and I know it now" I say softly. He hangs up. Sam lays down by me and pets my mane quietly. He's not talking, just holding me and stroking my mane, and I feel him trying to lend me his strength. And I take his hand and kiss it, and thank him for loving me so much.

Takeru calls me. He's just happy and wanting to talk. "I can't talk now Oto-Sama, Misha left me for a Russian Fox he met, and he just told me and left me." I say breaking down into tears. "My poor Lion son" he says sadly. And he spends time comforting me and letting me talk it out. "I am coming to you, my Lion son" he says firmly. " I ...Oto-Sama, my heart feels dead, and I hurt so" I say softly. "I will be there soon, my Lion son" he says softly. "Thank you Oto-Sama, I hate to pull you here, but I need you" I say softly. "I know you do, you love and need your Japanese father," he says.

"Does Jim know?" he asks. "Harry will tell him for me, I can't deal with how rageful he'll be" I say softly. "He will be angry, I hope Bruno has left already" he says. " He has, Oto-Sama" I say softly. "Sam, Oscar, and Harry and Nigel have been trying to comfort me but it's too soon for me to find any comfort" I say softly. "Claude, for me, call Dr Brunner, and go talk to him" Takeru says very gently. "I'm not going to crack up again" I say feeling defensive. "Claude, you need help to ease the pain, you know this" Takeru says firmly. "Yes, Oto-Sama, I'll call when we hang up" I say softly. Sam nods, and he holds on to me tightly.

"Why did you call, Oto-Sama, you sounded so happy?" I ask. "I was, but I think this is not the time" he says softly. "If you have reason to be happy, I'd like to hear it, it might help me feel better, Oto-Sama" I say softly. "I found someone, my Lion son" he says happily. "I am happy for you, you've been so lonely for so long" I say gently. "Thank you, my Lion son" he says softly.

"I would bring him if you would be able to stand meeting him" Takeru says. "I'd love to, my heart is broken, but I still love you, and life does go on" I say softly. "What and who is he?" I ask. "He is an African Lion, like you and Jim and Jeb" Takeru says. "He is Kenji Kinnamura, and he is an auditor here at Funari." he says. "He would not go out with the Boss, and I had to wear him down, but he is a good Lion and we have bonded" Takeru says joyously. "I am happy for you, Oto-Sama, bring him, I'd love to meet him" I say trying to cheer up. "I will, and I am so sorry you hurt so, but we will be with you soon" he says. "I must go, I have much to do quickly, and I must bring Yoshi up to speed so he can take over for me" Takeru says. Sam kisses me. "Sounds like you're going to be alright, rest a bit and call Dr Brunner, mi amo" he says kissing me. "Remember, Oscar and I are just right next door now, Claude" he says kissing me. "We'd do anything we could to help you, Babe" he says and he gets up and goes.

I lay down and I cry myself to sleep for a while. And in a hour when I wake, I call Dr Brunner, and we talk. "Claude, you don't sound good but you don't sound as bad as I would have feared" he says softly. "I'll see you tomorrow about noon, if that works for you" he says. "Thank you, Emil" I say gently. "Claude, let your family comfort you, don't run, and don't isolate yourself, my boy" he says gently. "Yes Emil, I will try" I say softly. "I am just amazed that I mostly feel empty and numb" I say softly. "Claude, it's good in a way, you may still be in shock but let your family help you this time" he says. " I will" I say softly.

My cell rings. It's Yoshi. And he is being so sweet and sympathetic to me. We chat awhile. I ask him what's been going on with him and Jou. He's silent. "I can handle it if things are going good, babe" I say softly. "We went and spent the weekend at a Hot Springs resort, and had a bit of a second honeymoon" Yoshi says. And he happily tells me all about it. "I'm happy for you two, and thanks Yoshi" I say. "Thanks?" he asks. "Between hearing that and hearing that Oto-Sama got his Kenji, I feel better, life and love goes on, and I know I'll heal and love again one day" I say softly. "I am glad I could help a bit, Onii-Chan" Yoshi says. "You did, and I am most grateful" I say softly. "Dad and Kenji are on their way, we just got back from taking them to the airport" Yoshi says. "Thank you for stepping in so he could come to me" I say quietly. "Onii-Chan, you need him as much as I do when you're upset and hurting," Yoshi says happily. "I do" I say happily. And I do feel better. "Onii-Chan, I must tell you, you must expect a bit of a surprise when you first meet Kenji, I will not tell you what, but he will surprise you a bit" Yoshi says happily. "I will" I say sadly. He hangs up, and I feel less pain now.

I lay back down. I have to eat, I'll be sick soon if I don't but I know what'll happen, everyone will try to be supportive and the clamor will upset me even more, or they'll all go silent for fear of saying something that might upset me. I am feeling better but I know I am easily upset still. They'll treat me like I'm made of glass and I hate that. I am happy they all love me enough to want to help, but only a few know how to really help me as I need to be helped. I hate being babied, it makes me angry on top of whatever pain I'm going through. Maybe I'll just go eat in the kitchen, Alfred knows how to help me, he has since I was a tiny cub. He'll mix his concerns and love for me with his English reserve and it's comforting as Hell to me.

And then there is a knock at my door. I sniff the air. Jebediah? He comes in with two trays. "I figured you wouldn't be up to facing the family, and we know you have to eat regularly" he says leaning down to kiss me. "I figured I'd keep you company, as I know you hate to eat alone" Jeb says. I thank him. And he sits and we eat. Jeb will be perfect for me now, he shows his love and support by lending you his quiet strength, like Sam did earlier. And Jeb won't let me get all weepy and maudlin on him either. He hates that.

He doesn't say much of anything, but I know he knows. He takes my paw, and he tells me he's sorry I was hurt so badly. That's a lot for Jeb. And he hasn't let go of my paw. And I feel his quiet strength. "I wish I was more like you at times like this" I say quietly. "I have feelings, Claude, I just handle them differently than you do" he says smiling. "I know you have feelings, you're just so much more low key than I am, and I kind of envy you that now" I say sadly. "Dad's livid, and he's planning on coming to talk to you after dinner" Jeb says quickly changing the subject. "Thanks for the warning, little Bro" I say smiling. I knew I'd have to deal with Dad's anger eventually, but I'm calmer now than I was at first. I think I can deal now.

"Claude, you know you'll hurt like Hell for a while, but you'll live, it has happened before" he says calmly. "I know, and I know you guys will help me like you tried to before." I say smiling finally. "This time though I intend to let y'all help me" I say feeling a little lighter. My Onii-Chan and my little brother have been so supportive and it helps "Good, big Bro, you know you do so much, and you have to let us help you when you need us" he says. "Like this, Bro, you love me, and you've been so kind to your crazy, over emotional Big Brother" I say smiling at him. "I admit I don't always understand you, Claude, but I love you" he says softly. He does, I can see it in his eyes now. It means a lot to me.

"At the risk of being over emotional, I will tell you simply that it means a lot to me that you came to me like this" I say softly. "I know" he says. "Claude, I am so sorry that your love life has been so hard" Jeb says taking my paw again. "First, Marty and then Dmitri and now Bruno" he says.

"I should have tried to go for Jeff when I might have had a chance" I say softly. "Sure, reward me for being nice, by threatening to take my Goat" he says laughing. "I do care about Jeff, but there's been no one else for him once he'd seen you" I say sadly. "Really, he made me court him so long and hard" Jeb says smiling. "He enjoyed it, the Lion of his dreams was chasing him so hard, he couldn't help himself, and you were so damned charming and adorable, that I almost fell for you myself, little Bro" I tease him. Jeb laughs. "He told Nigel and I that he was crazy about you, and he was asking me a lot of questions about you after you two first met, and he was so gone on you, and then you showed up with an armful of roses, and he was so enjoying his big butch Lion chasing him" I tell Jeb. "Damn" Jeb says. "He sure hid it well" Jeb says. "If you knew you already had him, you'd of stopped chasing him so hard" I say smiling. "Don't ever underestimate how wise our little Mountain Goat is, Jeb, he's one smart Goat" I say grinning.

Jeb laughs. "You sound better, big Bro" he says smiling. "I do, Jeb, I love it when you show me you love me, you don't do it often, but damn when you do, it makes me feel so special"I say smiling. "I do love you, Claude, I'm just not as demonstrative as you are" he says grinning. "You are who you are, Jeb, and my .little Bro is pretty awesome" I say and I lean over and hug him. "Thanks for not crying on me" he say laughing. I have a single tear in my eye. "Oh God, here comes the waterworks" Jeb says rolling his eyes at me. I crack up laughing. Which is what he wanted.

"So how's Med School treating you, Claude, still gonna be an Internist?" Jeb asks. "Yeah, I am already accepted to work at Sacramento State University Hospital Clinic, for August when I finish training thanks to Dr Brunner" I say smiling. "First thing you do is to figure out why you're so crazy emotional." Jeb says cracking up. "I'm only a medical Doctor, not some kind of Einstein" I say laughing. I am two months away from finishing my last year of Residency. And I'll be out on my own by my birthday. Emil's got me into the Clinic to get some experience. Before I start up a practice of my own I want a bit more confidence and experience under my belt.

Dad walks in, and his look of fury softens when he sees Jeb and I laughing together. "I love to see my boys get along like this" Dad says. "Dad, Jeb has been so kind and supportive to me" I say. "And Claude's actually let me help him, and didn't get all gushy on me" Jeb says laughing. Dad cracks up. "My boys" he says hugging us both. "I love you Dad" I say kissing him. Dad smiles at me. To my surprise Jeb kisses Dad too. "My sons love me" Dad says grinning. "We do" Jeb says softly. Dad's so happy now.

"Dad, I did talk to Takeru, and he's coming in a day or so, and he's bringing his new bond mate" I say smiling. "Who and what is he?" Dad asks. "His name is Kenji Kinnamura and he's, get this, an African Lion like us" I say laughing. Jeb laughs. Dad looks serious. "I wonder, knowing Takeru he's got to be a hot Big Cat" Dad muses. "I'll look forward to meeting him' Dad says. "You hope he's a bottom or a versatile and will let you in his ass, Dad" Jeb says laughing. Dad smiles. "Maybe" he says grinning. "No maybe about it, Dad, you want in this Lion's ass as often as you can" I tease him.

"Dad, I have an appointment with Dr Brunner tomorrow, and I'm determined to let my family help me, you guys have been great so far" I say smiling. "Sam and I talked when I got home, he's worried for you, but he seems to think you're holding up just fine" he says. "I'm pretty tired Dad, and I think after I eat I'll go to bed" I say softly. "Son, you're tired, and probably still in shock" Dad says. "I want to talk to you, but Sam's right, I need to calm down a bit more before we talk" he says. "I'm not angry at you, Claude, but I am upset at Bruno" Dad says. "Dad, I give him points for sitting down and talking to me about it, and not just leaving" I say sadly. "It helped me to see how hard it was for him, and how painful it was to him" I say fighting tears. "And I'll get over this, I've had way too much practice" I say sighing.

Jeb kisses me and takes the trays out and leaves. "Dad, I'll be OK, but I need you guys" I say softly. Yuri and Dmitri, and Vladimir come in and they lay around me and hold me tightly. "Russians comfort Katya" Yuri says smiling. "I love you guys" I say hugging them all. "Nate want Yuri stay with Claude, keep him calm" Yuri says smiling. "Jerry want Vlad to comfort Katya too" he says. "Dmitri stay with Katya, Galen no home, work tonight, want Dmitri to stay with Katya tonight, we take turns keeping our Katya comforted" Dmitri says.

I thank them in Russian and I tell them I know they are aware of how much I hate to sleep alone. "Vlad sleep with Katya tomorrow night" Vlad says. "Yuri sleep with Katya Friday, no work Saturday" Vladimir says. They all nod. "Russians talk, get family to stay with Katya so he no be sad and lonely" Yuri says. "Harry and I can take you into our bed at times to help" Dad says softly. "I'll help too, and so will Oscar" Sam says walking in.

"Guys, I love you all and I can't thank you enough for rallying around this broken hearted Lion, and Takeru will help too when he gets here with his new Lion" I say softly. "Takeru bonded a Lion" Sam asks. "Hoping he's at least a versatile, Sam?" Dad asks. "Yeah" Sam says. "Takeru loves his hot Big Cats, so you know this one will be good looking, Jim" Sam says smiling. "Yeah he does" Dad says happily.

"I'll tell Alfred he's coming, Son" Dad says smiling. "I forgot" I say doing a facepalm. "Dad, I'm off rotation for five more days, but I should be fine for when I go back" I say calmly. "I go to see Dr Brunner anyway tomorrow" I say softly. Dad kisses me. "Dmitri, come get me if he needs anything or needs his Daddy" Dad says. "Da, Dmitri do" he says smiling. "We let Claude go sleep now" Vladimir says. And he stands up and kisses me. Yuri kisses me and they leave. "Claude if you need me or Oscar we'll be right next door" Sam says kissing me. "I love you boy, and I am proud that you're handling this so well" Dad says kissing me. "Thanks, Dad" I say happily.

"Papa stay with Katya a minute, Dmitri need get something" he asks. Dad nods, and Dmitri runs off. "He still loves you boy, he cried so much at dinner when Yuri told him what happened" Dad says. "I know, but he loves Galen more" I say softly. "I guess" Dad says. "They're not spending a lot of time together the last few weeks, Claude" Dad says "Galen seems to be busier at his new job, and he's not spending a lot of time with Dmitri, mostly sleeping or doing paperwork" Dad says sounding worried. "I hope nothing is wrong, but I can't spare the energy to try to fix it if there is something wrong" I say sadly. "Good, you need to heal yourself" Dad says softly. "I know Dad" I say softly. "I'm too close to being out of my residency to break down now" I say smiling. "My boy is almost a Doctor" Dad says proudly.

Dmitri comes in carrying a couple of things. "Dmitri want his hoof brush" he says smiling. I smile, I remember how Dmitri would lovingly and carefully brush his hooves before he got into bed. I always loved to watch him do that. I get up and go into my new bathroom and shower and brush my teeth and my mane. And I come out, and Dmitri goes in. Dad has already gone. I lay on the bed, and I don't even feel up to turning on the TV. I am grateful though to Dmitri. He does care about me, as I still care about him. And having someone who knows me as well as he came to know me when we were together is very comforting. He still cares enough for me to help me when I am hurting so badly. I think back, we've always been there for one another even after we broke up. He knows me better than anyone, except maybe Alfred or Nigel. And he can get thru to me so well, and so quickly. My big Caramel Brown Russian Bull cares still, as I care for him. I have a brief moment of wishing I could get him back somehow. But it's not possible, so I put it out of my mind. (Little do I know what's going to happen soon)

Dmitri comes out of the bathroom naked, and I have to gasp, he's more beautiful now than he was before. My Dmitri is 6' 10", and 340 pounds, with Light Brown short hair, and beard. A short Caramel Brown coat of fur. And those gorgeous Crystal Blue eyes. I can't take my eyes off of him. "Katya stare at Dmitri" he asks surprised. "I hadn't seen you naked in a while, Big Bull, you're so much more beautiful than I remember you" I say softly. Dmitri blushes. "No change, Dmitri same" he says grinning. "Katya think his Russian Bull hot always, Dmitri happy Katya still find his Dmitri hot" he says grinning broadly. "You are very hot, sweet Bull" I say smiling. "Katya let Dmitri make love to him?" he asks. "If you want me, I'd love it Big Bull" I say softly. "Katya still much beautiful Lion " Dmitri says gently. Hearing my Big Bull say that makes me feel so much better. He puts his hand on my chest and I thrill to his very touch. And from the look in those beautiful Crystal Blue eyes he is still as hot for me as he always was. I can't quit thinking of how life with him was so wonderful until he left me to go back to Galen. Right up to the end, Dmitri made me a very happy, and sexually fulfilled Lion. Simply put, Dmitri Petrov is the best lover I've ever experienced. My big Siberian Bull is the benchmark I compare all of my lovers to. So far Dad and Sam are the only ones who come close to my Dmitri. But neither of them have Dmitri's tender, gentle dominance.

"I never stopped loving you, Dmitri, and I doubt I ever will" I say softly. "Dmitri know," he says gently. "Dmitri sorry Bear Brother hurt Katya so" he says. "Dmitri no have right to say bad of Bear" he say hanging his head. "Big Bull, like Bruno you had to follow your heart" I say softly. "Katya forgive, truly forgive his Russian Bull?" he asks plaintively. "I did, I know you had a tough choice and you'd be hurt either way, sweet Bull" I say softly. "Dmitri wonder now if he take wrong Lion, know Katya always love his Bull." he says mournfully. "Is something wrong, Babe?" I ask. "No talk now, Katya need calm" he says. He puts his big strong hand behind my neck and pulls my muzzle to his.

And Dmitri kisses me deeply. And I can't help but respond. My blood is as hot for him as it always was. He's tongue kissing me, and he's as good as always. I moan as he nuzzles my neck. He knows my body still, and he knows how to get me even hotter. (Dmitri will fuck me at a certain depth so his thick medial ring will stroke my ass ring as it pops in and out. Leaving me a whimpering, mewling, ass clenching wreck of a bottom Lion. I'll leave his 8 pack abs a cum soaked mess from the way he makes me cum so frequently as we fuck. Dmitri loves the way I respond to his masterful fucking.)

He rolls on top of me, and he's rock hard, and apparently extremely horny. He pushes his fat, 19" cylindrical Bull dick into me. And I moan and growl softly. And he moves gently inside of me. He's being easy on me, as he knows I'm a bit more used to Bruno's shorter, slightly fatter dick. My Russian Bull is massively hung, he is 19" long and thick. (Bull dicks are shaped kind of like Horsecocks. Long, ramrod straight, with a domed flat head without a Horse's flare. And a Medial Ring.) I grunt and I squeeze his dick with my ass. And he grunts. He speeds up, and he's hot to cum in me. He hits and he bellows and he's gushing his Bull swimmers up me. More than his usual. I wonder to myself how long it's been since he came last. I naively hope he's just put his Siberian Bull calf in my belly, whether he'd come back to me or not, I really want to be fat and swollen with Dmitri's calf.

I'm drenched in his sweat and it makes me hot. It always did, since my Russian Bull sweats heavily during sex, and I loved it. I'm almost overwhelmed with memories of the good times I had with Dmitri. Despite how it ended, there were a lot of good times. Sex with Dmitri was always great, he could get me so hot and he was a magnificent lover. Only Dad and Sam get me anywhere near as hot as Dmitri did, and still does. And I keep flashing on how romantic and wonderful Dmitri was the very first time he took me. He is such a romantic Bull. I mourn for the days when he was my romantic Bull. He's panting on top of me, and he's all sweaty, and gorgeous. I love feeling so full of his Bull semen. And I wonder if I was now conceiving his calf if he'd come back to me. But I can't. I suddenly realize I want to very badly. I'd endure anything to bear my Dmitri's Siberian Bull calves. Yet I only would want his sons. I want my big, beautiful Bull back even if I can't admit it to myself.

"You haven't been having sex lately, babe?" I ask "Galen busy, no let Dmitri have him" he says sadly. I know now something is wrong, Galen's got a high sex drive like I do. But I can't help, I am hurting too much, and Dmitri obviously doesn't want to talk about whatever it is. I know him too well, as he knows me, and I know how badly he's hurting, though he won't say it or admit to it. My poor Russian Bull hurts so, and he's getting as much comfort from me as I am from him. I can see it in his eyes. I'll help him the only way I can now, I'll let him see how much I want him, and I'll let him fuck me until he just can't anymore. He already knows quite well, that I still love him, and always will.

He stays on top of me. I lean up and kiss him. "Big Bull, I'll fuck you all you want me to" I say happily. "Dmitri want Katya much, take much if Katya want his Dmitri" he says softly. And he begins to move inside of me gently. "Fuck me hard, Dmitri, like you used to love to" I moan. And he does, he always could be loving and gentle but when he was horny he wanted to fuck hard and rough and he knows I can take him that way. Dmitri is pulling all of the way out and going back in. And I buck and growl and he's grunting loudly. I nuzzle his face and he kisses me, full and deep tongue and he's letting all of his passion loose and it's quite something. He bellows and convulses and he's gushing into me. I am comforted by it. My Dmitri and I know each other very well, we got to really know each other so much when he was my Bull, and it's kind of nice to be with someone who understands me as well as Dmitri does. He still knows me as well he always did. We're hot for each other like we always were. And he knows how to make me crazy with lust.

He'll take me five more times before midnight. "Katya need sleep now" Dmitri says softly. And he holds me tightly and I doze off. I always loved how my Bull would wrap himself around me and wrap his tail around my legs. I feel completely engulfed and surrounded by my Big Bull and it makes me feel secure and loved again. And we drift off to sleep together.

I wake up about 4AM. And Dmitri is crying softly. "Babe, you know I love you, please talk to your Katya" I beg him. "Katya no need be more upset" he says weeping. "Dmitri, I love you, and I'd still do anything for you, you know that" I say gently. "No want talk to Katya about this" He says. "I won't push you sweet Bull, but you used to tell me you loved how you could tell me anything" I say lovingly. "Katya no try help" he says firmly. "If you want" I say.

"Galen drink again" Dmitri says sadly. "Dmitri catch Galen drinking several times, Galen drink heavier now" Dmitri says. "My poor Bull, why didn't you come to me" I ask. "Know Katya hurt, no make worse" he says. "I swore I wouldn't get involved and I won't but if I can do anything" I say calmly. "Love Dmitri," he says gently. "I do, and we can comfort each other my Russian Bull" I say hopefully. "Katya sleep now" he says firmly. And he pets and strokes my mane, knowing I'll go to sleep quickly. I love having my mane stroked, it relaxes me, And I have always loved Dmitri for his strong, yet gentle hands when he touches me. He'd pet me in his sleep, and I always slept so good next to my gently snoring Russian Bull.

And he goes to sleep too. We wake and I am not hurting inside now, except for hurting for poor Dmitri, Galen's drinking almost destroyed him once before and I don't know what to do. He made me promise not to get involved, but I can't not help.. I go to breakfast and everyone is being supportive and kind. Dmitri looks pained. But he calms when he sees I'm not going to say anything. From the look on Yuri's face though, he knows too.

After breakfast, I go to talk to Yuri before he goes to work. "Dmitri no want Yuri do anything" he says. "Dmitri's heart break, no want Galen drink, but no know what do" Yuri says sadly. "I don't know either sweet Bull" I say kissing him. "Katya take Dmitri back if he alone?" Yuri asks out of nowhere.. "I haven't thought about it, I don't think he'd want me back." I say softly. "Yuri know, Dmitri no stop loving Katya, as Katya no stop loving Dmitri" he says. "Besides, Yuri, I've ridden that ride before, Galen drinks, Dmitri leaves him, I take him, Galen stops drinking, Dmitri goes right back to him, breaking my heart" I say sharply. "I'm not going there again, no matter how much I still love him" I say sadly.

"Yuri know Claude hurt badly by Dmitri leaving, think different this time, think something wrong with Galen, think he no love brother Bull now." Yuri says. "Yuri, if it was anyone else but you, I'd ignore it, but despite how much you love your brother, you'd never push me to take him back if you thought he'd hurt me again" I say softly. "You're too good of a Bull to do that" I say smiling. Yuri smiles and his ears twitch. I grin. I know what that means, due to all of the wonderful Bulls in my life. He's happy at what I said to him. But I meant it, Yuri is such a loving soul, he'd never let Dmitri hurt me again.

"Yuri no know, but Yuri know Galen act odd, more odd than when he drink before" Yuri says sounding concerned. "Dmitri was really hurting last night, I comforted him as much as he comforted me" I muse out loud. "Yuri know, Claude still love his Russian Bull" he says. I nod. I do, I admit it, I never stopped loving my Big Ole Russian Bull. And I have to wonder if he does want me, would I take him back? I think I would, but I am not sure now. I have no doubts that I still love that big Russian Bull with all of my heart and soul. But I couldn't bear to have my heart and soul ripped apart like they were when he left me the first time. I almost didn't survive it. Bruno's loss is nothing compared to how losing Dmitri damn near broke me.

I'm still hurting from losing Bruno, and Dad, well Dad would have a shit hemorrhage. I go to find Nigel before he goes to work. And I pull him into my room, and I tell him what I know. "Claude, no matter what happens, we both know you are still in love with Dmitri" Nigel says. "I know, and I promised him I wouldn't get involved" I say sadly. "You know better, you know when you figure it out you'll get involved" Nigel says. "You just can't help yourself" Nigel says softly. "You haven't stopped loving him, Claude, we both know that" Nigel says looking into my eyes. I blush. "You'll help him get back with Galen, or if it has fallen apart, you'll take him back" Nigel says quietly.

"Aren't you going to see Dr Brunner today anyway?" He asks. "I am" I say. "Then bring this up with him, he'll be the one to pick up the pieces if it goes wrong again, so he can advise you" Nigel says. "So you think I ought not get involved?" I ask. "I think you need to decide if things go bad for them, whether or not you'd take your Bull back" Nigel says softly. I hang my head. "You already know don't you?" Nigel softly asks me. "I do, I want him back, I know Bruno broke my heart, but he didn't break my spirit like losing Dmitri did, I might have bonded Dmitri and he just didn't bond me" I say sadly. "It is possible, but again you need to talk to Dr Brunner, Claude" He says. "What do you think, Nige?" I beg him.

"You love him still, and if Galen is out of the picture completely, and he loves you, he just might bond you this time, and there is no sense fooling yourself by thinking you won't take him if he wants you again. "Nigel says. "I'd go for it if it was me, Claude, you've never been as happy as you were when you were his Lion." Nigel says gently. "Claude, you went around practically walking on air when you belonged to Dmitri" Nigel says quietly. "But you know there is so high of a chance you'll get hurt again, and Papa Jim is going to go nuclear when you tell him, even if you do bond this time." Nigel says. I nod. "I'll talk to Dr Brunner, and maybe Takeru when he comes" I say resigned to waiting. And I tell Nigel about Takeru bonding his Kenji. I had already told him about Kenji, so he's not too surprised. "You know how much Oto-Sama loves his hot Big Cats" Nigel says smiling. "He does, and he's so happy, hearing about his bonding made me feel better, Nige" I say smiling. "You love him a lot" Nigel says smiling.

I go out to have breakfast and I see Jeff. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I ask him. "Sure" he says. We go into my Bedroom. "I have to ask you to not tell anyone about this, not even Jeb, hell, especially not Jeb" I say. "I assume it's about Galen and Dmitri?" Jeff asks. "What do you know?" I ask. "Galen hit on me a couple of nights ago, and I let him fuck me, Claude, he was drunker than hell" Jeff says. "Jeb'll have a few beers but I know from drunk" he says. "He was bitching about how Dmitri disapproves of his drinking, and that he wasn't sure he loved him anymore" Jeff says. "I"m stunned by that" I say. But I wonder to myself if it might not be true, especially after what Yuri said.

I tell Jeff about what Yuri said. "Yuri'd know, he's a sensitive Bull, and he loves his brother, so he'd be alert to anything like that" Jeff says. "You think he wants you back if he breaks up with Galen again?" Jeff asks. "Yuri sounded me out about whether I'd take Dmitri back so he must think he wants me" I say softly. "I don't know, Jeff, I love him, I know I always have, but I just got steam rollered by Bruno, and I don't know right now" I say shaking my mane. "I'm going to see Dr Brunner today and I'll talk to him about it, but I feel sorry for Dmitri, over and above whether I want him back or not" I say. "Claude, you have to know how badly you want him back, I do" Jeff says. I nod. "Claude, take him back if he wants you, he's still got a tight grip on your heart, brother in law" Jeff says softly. "If he takes you back he'll never leave you again, he's still as much in love with you as ever" Jeff says firmly. Jeff kisses me and goes off to work. I have to consider it. Jeff's too smart, and he's observant as Hell, if he thinks that it's probably based on watching Dmitri and I interact.

And I go eat. And I watch TV a while. To my surprise, I'm not hurting at all. Sam sits with me before he and Oscar go open the gym. "You seem better" Sam says. "Not gonna break down, I swear, unless it's over something else" I say smiling. "Galen and Dmitri?" Sam asks. I nod. "Claude, you'll take him back if they break up, we all know you will, it's obvious you two never stopped loving each other" Sam says. "Do you think I shouldn't, Sam?" I ask. "I think if you are prepared, and Galen is truly out of the picture you should, and we all know you will anyway." Sam says. "You have to be aware he might hurt you again" Sam says. I nod. "Galen's drinking again, Sam, Dmitri told me, and Jeff verified it" I say. "Galen hit on him and he was snockered" I say sadly. "Damn, Dmitri won't put up with that for long" Sam says. "Sometimes I envy you, having found Oscar and being together and happy for so long" I say sadly. "We work at it, Claude," Sam says. "I think, if you and Dmitri get back together you'll make it long term like we will" Sam says kissing me softly. "If he takes you back, he'll know not to ever let you get away again,and he was so calm and a good influence on you, you were much more easy going when you were his Lion" Sam says smiling. "Nigel said I've never been as happy as I was when he was mine" I say softly. "He's right, Claude, you were walking on air most of the time, he'd smile at you, and you'd be kind of lost in your love for him" Sam says smiling. "It damn near killed you when he left, you seem to be taking losing Bruno so much easier, Claude" Sam says.

"Claude, you know you want Dmitri back, you want him so bad I can smell it" Sam says. "I am flattered though" Sam says. "Flattered?" I ask. "Yeah, Dmitri is a Bull like me, not as big, but he's as dominant, basically Dmitri is a gentler me" Sam says grinning. "He is, Damn, I never thought of that" I say shaking my mane. "Jim will go nuts though if you do take him back" Sam says. "If I take Dmitri back, it'll be because we bonded, I'm not doing that dance again" I say firmly. "I love him and I want him, but losing him almost killed me before, and I'm not going there again if I can help it, Sam" I say emphatically. "I'm gonna talk to Dr Brunner in a bit, and I'll discuss it with him too" I say firmly.

"Claude, you really have coped well, Bruno's leaving you hurt you but it didn't destroy you" Sam says. "You must have loved Dmitri so much more" Sam says softly. "I think so, and that's why I want him back if it works out, but I'm not anxious to be hurt that badly again" I say shaking my mane. Sam kisses me. "It's like Oscar always says, Claude, you're a Hell of a lot tougher than we tend to think you are" Sam says smiling and he gets up and leaves.

I go and shower and dress nicely to go see Dr Brunner. And as I come out of my bedroom I run right into the one animal I don't want to see, Galen. I glare at him. "What's your problem?" he snaps at me. "At the moment, other than my Grizzly dumping me, mostly you" I say firmly. "Ain't none of your business, you busy body Lion" he snarls. And I realize he's drunk. I grab him by his arm, and I pull him into my bedroom. "You're drunk" I snap. "So?" he asks. "You know how Dmitri will react and he's home now" I say.

"I know how he'll react" he snarls at me. "OK, so much for me wanting to help your sorry ass" I say sharply. "Your pathetic drunken ass can leave now" I snap. Galen looks sad. And he breaks down crying. I hug him. I didn't expect this to happen. I hate that I hurt him somehow. "Claude, I'm feeling so lost now" he says. "Why?" I ask. "I can't tell you of all animals." Galen says crying harder. "Galen, I do care, no matter how we sparred a few minutes ago" I say softly. "You can't tell anyone, Dmitri especially" he says. "I promise" I say praying I won't live to regret it.

"Claude, I don't love him anymore, I don't know what happened" he says breaking down. "A couple of weeks ago, I realized I didn't love him anymore, and I'm not in love with anyone else, I just stopped loving our Bull" he says obviously in agony. "I couldn't do that to him, I started drinking again because I couldn't face telling him, and staying with him is even more painful" Galen says.

I'm shocked speechless now.(Any of my family will tell you how hard it is to render me, of all animals speechless) And I feel my heart going out to Galen. He loved Dmitri so much, it's why I could let Dmitri go, I saw how much Galen loved him. And no matter what, I wanted Dmitri happy and well loved. And I'm at a loss to know how to help either one of them now. The pain in Galen's eyes is hard to take. He's had a much harder life than I have as it is.

"I don't want to drink, Claude, but I can't face the constant pain, and I'm not Lion enough to be honest with him as I ought to have been." he says. "Claude, please, help me?" he begs me holding both of my paws. I call Dr Brunner, and I do a fast explanation. "Claude, he needs to be put into a good treatment program if he'll go, one that will help him learn to cope with his feelings, as well as stop drinking" Dr Brunner says. "Know of somewhere?" I ask. "I do, I can make the arrangements if you want" he says. "I'll ask Galen" I say, and I do.. "I have to talk to Dmitri first" Galen says sadly. "He deserves to know" Galen says hanging his head. "Make the arrangements and I'll take him after I've seen you, Dr Brunner and thanks." I say softly. "You sound good, Claude" He says. "See if you still think that after I've seen you" I tease him.

"Lets go talk to Dmitri, Galen, I'll help you, I do care about you, and you know I do, you know you need to come clean, and then we'll take you to get help" I say softly. "I'll pay for it, and you can rebuild your life, and you'll feel better knowing you're being honest with yourself and Dmitri" I say gently. "Claude, you've been so good to me and I don't deserve it" he says. "You do, you're a good Lion, it's not your fault, bonds fall apart all of the time, mine just did" I say gently.

"I'm sorry Bruno left you, but you know the pain I'm about to put Dmitri through" he says crying. "I do, but the family will help Dmitri through this, and when you're healed if you want to come home, then you can" I say softly. "I don't, I can't face everyone, let alone Dmitri" he says. "Claude, I feel so much shame, he's everything I had ever wanted, you know how special Dmitri is, you know what it's like to be loved by him, and I just threw it away somehow" Galen says crying hard. "Your bond broke, you didn't do anything, babe, you'll get over this and go on with life" I say softly stroking his mane. "No one knows why it happens, only that sometimes it does, babe" I say stroking Galen's mane. Galen nods. But he's looking even sadder now.

"I'll have no where to go and no job" he says. I call his boss and I explain. "Send him, and we'll hold his job, he's a good researcher and I had a drinking problem once too, he won't lose his job, tell him to get well, Dr Kitman" he says. "Claude, you're always so good to me" Galen says crying, when I tell him what his Boss said.

"Tell Galen to call me when he's ready to get out, I can help him find a place to live, and I don't think if he's leaving his mate he'll want to go back home so he'll need a place" his Boss says. Galen breaks down crying. "Galen, you got caught in a bad situation, and you know it'd of been better if you had gone to Dmitri, but I think I understand why you couldn't " I tell him. Galen nods silently. He's a bit less upset now, he sees he's got a way out of this cycle of pain.

"Why are you being so good to me?" he says breaking down into tears again. "I do care, Galen, and I know how hard you worked to stop drinking before, and you can still get that back, it hasn't gone too far, and when you're not drinking you're an amazing Lion" I say kissing him. Galen looks grateful. And he looks oddly at me suddenly.

"Claude, it's none of my business, but you still love him don't you?" Galen asks me gently. "I do, but I am not going to get hurt again, I know I lost him to you, and I'm not wanting Dmitri hurt again, so right now, I'm putting it all behind us, so I can help him and you heal" I say quietly. "Claude, I couldn't believe it, one morning I woke up and looked at him, and I felt nothing, and I cried so much" Galen says teary eyed. "As I said yesterday, bonds break, it happens" I say stroking his mane. "Mine just did" I say quietly.

"Help me tell Dmitri, Claude?" he begs. "I will" I say softly. "He'll be so broken" Galen says. I get up and I take his paw. And we go to find Dmitri. I have to admit I'd rather get my nuts caught in a vise than have to see my Big Bull hurt as much as he will soon. But I promised Galen. And this poor Lion is hurting way worse than I am. I can't not help.

Dmitri is in their room. "Katya promise he no interfere" Dmitri says angrily. "My fault, Big Bull" Galen says. "I need his help in several ways now" Galen says. Galen sits on the bed. "Why Galen no love Dmitri anymore?" Dmitri asks sounding heartbroken. "How do you know?" Galen asks incredulously. "Dmitri feel Galen pull away, Galen drink, Galen no let his Bull love him" Dmitri says looking at the floor. In Russian I tell him what I know, and I tell him I've got Dr Brunner getting Galen into a place where he can get help. "Claude love other Lion too" he says stroking my mane. "I do, and he needs help, as do you, sweet Bull" I say gently. "Dmitri hurt, know how Katya feel when Dmitri leave" he says fighting tears. I hug him and I lean up to kiss him. "Katya, No" he says panicking. I'm stunned now. "Take other Lion, get him help, Dmitri live hurt" he says crying now. "Go" he hollers at both of us. "GO" he hollers louder when I don't move right away. I can almost feel my heart breaking again. I will not cry though, I can't cry, I have to stay together, but it sure sounds like Dmitri doesn't want me after all.(I just set a new record for how wrong an animal can be about something. Dmitri knows, whether I do or not that we'd of bonded if he'd of let me kiss him. And he's not sure I've forgiven him, and he wouldn't want to hurt Galen.)

I call Dr Brunner. "Claude, they'll come and get him, and help him bring some stuff, they'll insist on packing for him" Dr Brunner says. "It'll be billed to you, and they should be at your house in a bit" Dr Brunner says. "When they get there, come to see me" he says. "I will, Dr Brunner" I say softly.

I go to Dmitri and I explain what will happen. "Dmitri go to gym, leave house til he gone" he snaps. "Why are you mad at me, Big Bull?" I ask. "No mad at Claude, no be mad at Katya ever" he says softly. "Dmitri need time to think" he says gently. I try to kiss him. He pushes me away, and he looks at the floor now. "Katya love and forgive his Bull?" he asks. "You should know I do and I have forgiven you, babe" I say smiling. "Dmitri need think, need call brother Yuri" he says gently. Dmitri takes my paws in one of his big hands. And he seems to be about to say something. And he kisses my paws and lets go of them. And he dresses to go to the gym, and he leaves. And I have to wonder now. This is going to be one Hell of a session with Dr Brunner.

I go down and Dmitri is talking to Galen. He kisses Galen, and says goodbye to him. And he goes to his truck and drives off. I sit with Galen, trying to comfort him. And the treatment center people come. And they tell me to put his stuff in storage as he won't be allowed any of it. I nod. I'll let Alfred deal with it. And after a bit they're ready to go.

"Galen, no matter what, if you need help, please know you're still family to me, and I'll help you however I can" I say softly. "Please don't be afraid to call me if you need help" I beg him. He hugs me and cries on my shoulder. "He still loves you, Claude, please take good care of our Bull, I don't love him anymore, but I had him for so long, and I know you'll love him and be good to him" Galen says. "You think he wants me back?" I ask. "I do, and he told me, he wanted to heal, and then he'd beg you to come back to him." Galen says. "I told him he wouldn't have to beg you, he'd only have to tell you he wanted you back, and that you'd come running back to him." Galen says tearing up. "Be well, my beautiful fellow Lion" I say softly. "I can never thank you for all you've done for me, Claude" he says hugging me tightly and kissing me. I hug him. "Galen, I do love you, and I'm so sorry for what has happened to you" I say quietly. "I know, Claude," he says smiling. And he leaves. I sit and I cry for him. He's had the deck stacked against him, since he was a cub, and has had to fight so hard for even small bits of happiness. And I am suddenly grateful that I can't drink, and never could. I have to wonder if I'd of gone running to the bottle instead of running away like I do, if I could drink. And I say a silent prayer of gratitude that I can't drink alcohol. And I pray for Galen to find happiness one day, and to have his soul at peace. He deserves it.