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A Colorful Month

Part 11

For Taiko

By Draconicon

The mule felt himself drifting among the kinky and the fetishized memories that were the majority of what he had left. He stared straight ahead, seeing eyes that were strangely powerful staring back at him, but they were in the background, half-hidden from him as he drifted among the things that he had done, the things that he had been made to be on behalf of someone else.

You need someone to control you...

The mule giggled at the thought, slowly shaking his head. There was some exasperation on the other side, but at the same time, something slightly happy.

Not something to control, then, but something to guide. Someone to take you. Someone to enjoy you. Someone to hold you close and guide you on, to show you how to be the best you can be...

That was better, and he nodded. It felt right. It felt...good, to think of himself as someone that could be pulled along. Someone that needed guidance wasn't bad. Everyone needed guidance. Everyone had that one person that they could lean on and just not be a person for a while, but be a thing, an object to be treasured.

Or at least, that was what he 'remembered.' The feelings of the club, the sensation of being with Shore Guardian, or whoever the orca was, had been filled with that sensation. He wanted it again.

Sink into that feeling. Let me guide you. Let me put you back together.

Yes. Allow himself to be put back together. That was right. That was good. The mule sunk into those memories, feeling the sensations again, the touches, the gropes. But more than that, he fell into the feelings, the bliss that came from being controlled and guided along. No stress, no worries, nothing but the knowledge that he was doing exactly what he needed to do for those that mattered.

You are sexy.

Very sexy. He was very happy, very sexy, very...very good...

You are happy.

Yes, yes, he was. The mule was feeling happier than he had felt in a long time.

You are easy.

Was that a bad thing? Not for him. Sex might have been as addictive as any drug, but that didn't mean that he was going to get lost to it in the same way. It didn't hurt his body, and his mind was so far gone anyway. What did it matter if it got a little more stretched and weathered? He didn't mind.

He didn't mind.

He really didn't mind.

As he settled further and further down, imagining just how nice it would be to walk down the street, shaking his ass and swaying his cock, he felt other pieces coming together. They weren't familiar the way that the memories of the club had been, but they felt right, like puzzle pieces that had replaced something that he had lost. He smiled as 'memories' came together like story ideas, offered to that part inside of him, given to it as a possibility.

You forgot so much. Perhaps you might remember this?

It was a memory of being on a boat, enjoying time with a -

The mule shook his head, the idea of a female with him being completely wrong. The idea disappeared, replaced with the idea of spending time on a boat with a guy, with a big-pecced orc, as a matter of fact.

He sighed to himself, nodding, leaning forward and letting himself rest as the idea slotted in. Not straight, but gay, and very gay, as a matter of fact. Cock and ass, ass and cock. Those were the things that he liked.

The further he sank, the more of those pieces were presented, some being taken, and others being thrown away. Some fit well with the thoughts that remained, of the clubs and of his time with the orca, but they were still off just enough that the deepest part of his memory threw it away. Other ones which seemed so alien, on the other hand, were accepted, pulled in, made part of him again. Bit by bit, little pieces of an identity beyond a simple slut started to come together, little pieces that were part of him, that were him, and yet were different at the same time. In the arms of Shore Guardian, he felt himself coming together, and words came to describe him.

Hero.

Horn-ball.

Devoted.

Loyal.

Strong.

Sensual.

Open.

Easy.

The last one he challenged, but only slightly. It was still part of him, under context. He was easy, yes. Easier than he had been, for some reason, but still easy. He was definitely enjoying the sexual lifestyle more, something that made him feel better with everything else in his life. This was where he went to be something else, to be someone that didn't have to be afraid, to be someone that was wanted.

This was him. But who was he?

The mule groaned under his breath at the lack of something to hold this all together. All the puzzle pieces that were him shivered, rolling, almost cracking apart.

You are needier, needier than -

"Than..."

Hmm?

"That's me...Than..."

...Well, if you want to be.

"Than...Than is good..."

And the arms of Shore Guardian wrapped around him. Than pulled himself close, slowly drifting down, but at the same time, feeling that sense of self slowly knitting back together. Something was better, now. Something was right, and everything else was going to be right again, too.

Then, they were moving, and moving fast. He didn't know why, but Shore Guardian was in a hurry.

Choin stomped forward. The mouse in red stopped him, but didn't keep him from shouting.

"What the hell do you mean, which Nor? My Nor!"

"Ah, but there we get into semantics."

"There's no semantics here! The one that he -" Choin pointed at the magpie off in the corner. "The one that he stole everything from, and the one that you have such a hate-boner for!"

"If there is any 'boner' involved, then it is not for that Nor," the Great Dane said, folding his hands over his lap. "And besides, everyone knows that common sense has no place inside a courtroom."

The panda tried to lunge past the mouse, but the Man in Red caught him and held him back. No matter how he tried to get around the rodent, there was nothing that he could do. All he was allowed was to glare at the Great Dane as the canine looked back at the big bear on the other side of the room.

"Czar, I'd like you to be specific, please."

"Then let me be. I wish for you to produce the Nor of this particular reality, wherever he might be stashed, and then restore unto him that which has been stolen from him."

"Ah, as you might guess, there is a contradiction in terms there," LiL said, leaning back and folding his hands together. "Theft, if you would?"

"Why did you have to get me involved in this?"

"Because you were stupid enough to listen."

"...Fair."

"Now, if you would?"

The magpie sighed, opening his pockets and spilling out what was in them. Choin watched as things that looked almost like jewels fell out, each one slightly brighter than the last, leaving only one giant one that was blue and red at the end. It was almost gaseous on the inside, as if filled with something more living than the others, and it was precisely in Nor's colors.

"What is that?" he asked, his voice dropping to a dead whisper.

"That is the identity of one Nor," LiL said. "And that is where the truest part of your partner remains."

"No...no that's not..."

"Now, Czar. By the procedure here, I have produced Nor. Or at least, the part of him that is truest to himself. But what shall we do with it?"

"...And the body?" the grizzly bear asked.

"That is somewhere else, but it is no longer Nor."

"That's not true! Where is he?!" Choin shouted.

"Stop it." LiL shook his head. "Do you really want someone that doesn't remember you, hmm? Do you want someone that knows nothing but the barest hints of what his life was? Someone that isn't even the person you remember? Do you want a fake? Because if that's all you want, I'll make you a better one than that lump of -"

"Shut up!"

With tears in his eyes, Choin reached out with everything that he had. The ceiling over LiL shattered, cracking around a single panel as it went from stone to gold. The sheer weight pulled down, and it came crashing down to the floor below. He didn't care that it was all but murder; he couldn't hold back after hearing all that.

The only thing that saved the Lord in Lavender from being crushed to death was his own power. LiL was simply not there when the panel fell, and the Great Dane stepped out of another painting in the room, shaking his head.

"Emotional. Very emotional."

"Like you were not when your Nor was taken from you, LiL?" the Man in Red asked.

"...Do not. Mention. That."

Choin fell to his knees. The world felt like it was collapsing around him, as if there was nothing that he could do to push it back. He just wanted his Nor back. He just wanted the mule to be in his arms, to know that he was okay. He wanted the world to be back to what it was before all the Council came, before the world got turned upside-down and they couldn't think of anything but the what-ifs that they inspired.

He wanted things to be back to normal, and that was something that even he knew that he could never get. He looked up at Deception, and then at the Czar, and he knew that even if the woman in blue made things different, even if she lied and turned the clock back, he would remember. Even if she managed to overpower LiL and say something that would take away what he had done to Nor, he would remember.

And he'd remember...it could happen again.

I'd do it...I'd live with that...just to have him back...

He hugged himself around the middle, shaking his head repeatedly until he slipped back down to the ground. He didn't want to cry, but he could feel himself on the verge of doing it.

Then, doors that hadn't been there before opened.

"Sorry I'm late. I had something very important to see to," a new voice said. Choin looked up, and his eyes went wide.

It was an orca. Shore Guardian, but not like he had seen the orca before. The superhero was no longer so thick in the chest, nor was he so broad of limb. He didn't have that huge bulge that he had been showing off before, nor was he dressed in the odd shirts and other costumes he wore.

Instead, the orca - and even then, he wasn't sure if it was an orca, as it almost felt like he was putting a shape on something that didn't have one - was dressed in a long, shimmering robe. Colored like a pink rose, it was almost transparent, giving the shape of a silhouette beneath it without actually showing off anything. It was grand, opulent, and something entirely different from the rest of those assembled.

"Welcome, Seduction, Prince in Rose," the Czar said. "But who is this - is this the one that we've been talking about?"

Nor?

He jumped to his feet, half-hoping that this was all solved. Someone, someone equine stood at the Prince's side, and he had Nor's coloration, at least. He stood on three hooves that were almost like toes, and he had the same red-blue coloration that he was used to seeing almost every night.

But there was something missing.

Even with the sight of the mule, he knew that it wasn't his Nor. He knew that there was something off in the way that Nor looked around and didn't see those in the room as someone close. His eyes passed over Choin, over Deception, and not once did he look like he recognized anyone.

His heart snapped then. He slumped back, covering his mouth and shaking his head.

"No...no..."

"I'm afraid that we have a bit of an issue," the Prince in Rose said. "This is Nor...but his name is also Than."

"Explain, if you would," the grizzly bear said.

"Well, simply put...this is Nor's body, but he didn't have anything left in him when I found him. He's not himself."

"Then put him back," Choin said, huffing softly. "Put him back together. You have...the parts are right there," he said, nodding at Theft.

"...Oh, you're fucking kidding me..."

"What? What's the matter?"

"If I'd known those were there..." The Prince in Rose sighed. "He was almost empty of all identity. He didn't recognize anyone around him. He couldn't hear his own name. He still can't."

"I have an identity now. It's Than," the mule said.

It was a stake to the panda's heart to hear that, and he almost dropped dead away in a faint. The only reason he didn't was because he was sure that if he stopped talking, if he stopped paying attention, he'd lose Nor forever. He had to be there. He had to be here to make sure that he didn't lose what he had taken so long to get.

"That is your identity now," the Prince in Rose said, "but it wasn't always. You used to have a different name."

"I guess. But...I can't remember it."

"I know. That's the problem." The Prince in Rose shook his head. "And now that there's other pieces in him, we can't really just jam it all back in. It'd have to be taken out and shifted and...well, that's if we can put it all back in after that. From what I'm seeing here, Theft was remarkably heavy-handed..."

"Look, I was doing what LiL paid me to do, okay?" the magpie said, shaking his head in annoyance. "I'm just the employee. Someone blame the employer."

"Theft. Aren't you supposed to be a Marquis?" the Man in Red asked.

"...Shut up."

"So...so are you saying..." The panda cleared his throat, fighting the new wave of tears back. "Are you saying...you can't fix him?"

"...I'm sorry...but that's exactly what I'm saying."

And there it was. The crack that shattered Choin's world. It went right down his heart, running through him and ripping him apart the further and further it went. He stared straight ahead, looking right at the mule that he'd loved for so many years now. He stared at the man that he had given himself to, and who he hoped to spend the rest of his life with.

He got nothing back. Nor looked back at him without memory, without any of the passion or the care that he had seen before. This mule did not know him.

He sagged to his knees, and he wept.

Than didn't know what was happening, but he knew that something had gone wrong. He had followed Seduction - that was his name, or one of them, he'd realized - to this room. Some sort of flirtation had gone on between the orca and some tiger in the background to let them in, and then they'd had this whole thing happen.

He knew grief when he saw it, but despite everything, he didn't know who the panda was supposed to be. Someone that he used to know? Maybe, but that was so far gone now that he didn't even feel that funny feeling that he should have when he knew something was missing from his memory.

He shrugged it off, standing at the orca's side as he looked around. The whole place was strange, different, new to him. There were colors dancing on the walls that were at once purer and more lovely than ever before, and at the same time, horrendously wrong, the shades just that hint off, that little sinister. Everything was vibrant, and yet dead. It was a room of contradictions, and there was little safety there.

And yet, there were inklings of emotions that he felt as he looked around the room. The mouse in red looked back at him with a curious tilt of the head, something that made him feel...something. A low-level annoyance, or something along those lines. He shrugged it off, kept looking around -

And then, Than saw the magpie. His eyes went wide, his mind filled with pain, and he moved without even thinking about it.

"No!"

Than's shout caught everyone by surprise, even the Great Dane sitting about all languid and disconnected from everything. The magpie saw him coming, tried to leap into the air, but it was too late. Than was too fast, too angry to be stopped, and he kicked.

Hard.

The magpie went down, cupping his balls, but it didn't stop there. The mule went after him with all the fury that he had running through his system, angrily striking, punching, kicking, using any and every body part that was in reach of the magpie to hit him again and again and again. Some of the blows didn't get through, some of them blocked, redirected by something or other, but enough got through that the magpie was screaming.

Then there were hands on him, pulling him back. He screamed, shaking his head.

"Let me go, let me go! Have to - have to stop him! HAVE TO!"

"Well, LiL." The mouse chuckled. "I think that this is all the evidence that we need to know that something of the original ... lives on."

"...Yes. So it would seem."

"Of course, we might have a little problem...if I wasn't here."

The conversation going on between rodent and canine was of no interest to Than. All that mattered was that the magpie was still there, and every time he looked at him, that fear and anger came back. He didn't even know why, he just knew that it was there, and that he had to do something about it or he would explode.

He tried to break free of the grip around him, but all he did was twist around and stare at some boar dressed in purple. The boar chuckled.

"Much as I wanna let ya beat the shit out of him, probably not the best time."

"What...who are you?"

"...Ow. Well..." The boar looked back at the magpie, then shook his head. "Nah, best not to give in to temptation. Come here. Let's let the rest of 'em figure this out."

As the mule was led away, Choin could not help but feel a surge of hope in his chest. Something had gone right. He didn't know what it was, nor did he know how they were going to fix it, but he knew that something had finally gone in a different direction to what LiL was hoping for. That was good enough for him.

And hearing that the mouse had a plan was even better. He poked the mouse in the back of the neck.

"And when were you going to tell people you had a plan?"

"When I had one."

"So...do you?"

"Yeah. For the last minute." The mouse shrugged. "Improvisation is a thing; sometimes you need to plan in advance, sometimes you have to wait for all the pieces to show themselves."

"There's nothing that you can do about this," the Great Dane said.

"That's actually where you're wrong. My technician, Tatyana, actually established a backdoor into Nor's mind."

"You WHAT?!" both Choin and LiL said at the same time. The panda, however, was the one that kept going. "How the hell - you don't get to do that! He's private!"

"Honestly, he's about as public as you're going to get, but that's a different point," the mouse said, waving his hand. "It's probably good for one more log-in, and if it's not, then a little push from me should make that work."

"Your power is loophole, Man in Red. Not hacking."

"What else do you think admin privileges are? Heheh. And after that, we can just set up a pair of users."

"A pair of - that...you..."

As satisfying as it was to see the Great Dane angrily spluttering, Choin needed more than that. He grabbed the mouse by the elbow, spinning him around so that they were facing one another. He leaned in close.

"Look at me. Tell me, honestly...can you fix him?"

"I would give it about a 90% chance of working."

"...You're sure?"

"Never, but about as close as I can get, yes."

"Why...you..."

"Why?" The mouse chuckled. "Because I can lord it over him for the rest of his life, mostly. Oh, he won't remember just why we did this - trust me, that would be a bad idea, with all the trauma that would come along with it - but you will. Won't you, Choin?"

"..."

"Not that you want to," the mouse said, leaning back and adjusting his sleeves. "I would imagine that you'd like to forget this whole thing ever happened. And if you asked very politely, I imagine that my colleague in black over there would be happy to kill this living memory for you. But...I don't think you will."

"Why? Because I'm a masochist, apparently?"

"No. Because you don't want to forget that this can happen. Because you want the motivation you need to keep it from ever happening again. Am I right?"

He was, though Choin didn't want to admit it. Instead, he looked away, glancing back at the shaking, trembling mule that was still coming down from the rage storm that had all but consumed him. That Nor, that Than, was not the same sort of mule that he knew. It wasn't the same at all.

The mouse mentioned 'two users'. That meant that Than would be there to stay, and there was no real getting around that. He supposed he could get used to that; he'd know and love Nor, and maybe he could come to get to know Than...but at least he'd have Nor. That was the important thing, the big thing.

He's so...different.

Shaking his head, he slowly pulled away. He started to walk across the room, only for Theft to reach for the different pieces of Nor on the floor. In a moment not unlike Than's breakdown, Choin reached out and twisted the ceiling. Just as he had done to LiL, he turned it to gold, and it fell. Unlike with LiL, though, the ceiling panel landed on the magpie's leg, catching it in place and holding him there.

As Theft shouted in a voice that was not unlike a certain angry duck, he diverted his path from going to Than to kneeling down and picking up the pieces. He had gotten all of the Nor fragments save for the biggest one when the soft tick, tick, tick of hoofbeats got his attention. Looking up, he saw that Than had come over.

"You hate him too?" the mule asked, nodding at the magpie.

"More than you can imagine."

"Oh. Guess we've got something in common, then."

More than that...so much more than that...

If Nor remembered. If Than was only half of the mule rather than all of him. If there was something else there that he could get back. His hand shook as he picked up the last piece, and he almost dropped it.

Then Than was there, helping him pick it up. Choin clutched the piece to his chest, feeling his breath going raggedy, knowing that he was on the verge of breaking down. Of all the things to happen, of all the outcomes -

"Do you need a hand?" Than asked.

"Not yet..."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay...just...be careful, okay?" The mule nodded at the magpie as the gold panel finally disappeared. "He's not good. He's very, very bad. Stay away from him."

The way that the warning mirrored Nor's last words to him before his disappearance was the final nail in the coffin. Choin slumped forward as the mule walked away, and he knew that Nor didn't even realize what he had said. That Choin didn't realize the import of things. That...that...

He wasn't even able to cry anymore. He was just too tired for that. If anything, he was almost too tired to exist.

Murder was at his side then. He didn't know if he had spaced out, or if she just appeared, but she was there without warning or reason. The mare rested her hand on his shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze.

"Sometimes, the things worth keeping alive make you wish they were dead."

"Yeah..." He shook his head. "But not a wish I want granted."

"Good. Because it's not one I'd see made."

She helped him to his feet, and he went with it. He felt like he was walking through a haze as he made his way back to the Man in Red. The mouse patted him on the back while talking to the woman in black, but Choin only looked at the gem-like things that he carried. They were the future of his boyfriend. They were him, in their purest, most beautiful, solid form.

He found them dull in comparison to the real thing.

"Lord in Lavender."

The Czar's voice cut through everything else in the room. Everyone turned to face him, even the discomforted Great Dane.

"I'm quite happy to say, in this case, that I find against you with great prejudice."

"I'm sure you're quite happy with that," the canine muttered. "The mouse has always been a pet of yours."

"He has fulfilled all obligations of the court. And he brought proof that you have interfered more than you should."

"..."

"But so have we all. Intentionally, and unintentionally, we have come close to ripping this reality apart. From now on, this Novus Ager is under a moratorium of visits."

"After I've fixed Nor," the mouse said.

"Yes, yes, after. But immediately after, we all leave. And we do not return, save by invitation or contract."

Regardless of the help that the Man in Red was offering or the aid that the Prince in Rose had given in getting Nor back to them, Choin couldn't help but wish that the moratorium had started a week earlier. Back then, Nor had been okay. Not great, but okay. Now, he had to deal with the fact that his boyfriend was going to have a split personality just to have him back for part of the time.

It'll be worth it. He squeezed the gems of Nor together. It'll be worth it.

"Get it done, MiR. Get it done. And you." The Czar turned back to LiL. "We are going to have a very...very stern talk."

"I'm sure."

"No, I am quite serious this time." And as the bear spoke, the entire room quaked, contracting by three feet on every side. The grizzly's face had done the same, going from something serious but amiable to something several steps past serious. "You are a member of the Council, and you are allowed a certain latitude. But I will not see a disagreement like this again."

"...You can't stop me."

"Stop you? I don't need to. I am Conspiracy. I am the whisper of secrets. I am the truth in the dark. I am the binding force of all agreements. I've given you a loose leash, Lord in Lavender. It's time I tighten it."

Choin opened his eyes to find himself somewhere very different. Not in a metal room, like he had heard Nor describe the Man in Red's ship, but somewhere else entirely. They were in a glass chamber overseeing a room of wires and other computers. Than hung in the middle of the room, apparently unconscious, and his body was flowing in and out of different shapes, almost like there was nothing guiding what was happening to him.

"What's going on?" Choin asked, leaning against the glass wall in front of him. "What's happening down there?"

A Russian voice spoke up, and he turned to his left. A white-and-black tigress tapped away at a console, then looked up at him again.

"Said, step back."

"..."

"Now."

"You want to do what she says," the Man in Red said, stepping up from his right. "She's the one making sure that this works."

"She's your technician?"

"And more," the mouse said. "Brilliant woman, really. Just, uh, don't get her pissed off, or she'll find a way to drop you in virtual reality for a while. Not always a fun one."

"Hmmph."

Despite the tigress's off-putting nature, he decided to be as nice as he could. After all, he had no idea how she was going to do this, but he didn't want her to be tempted to put in less than her all. He figured the best thing to do would be to shut up and step back, letting her program Nor as best she could.

He looked down into the room again, and he breathed out slowly. Whatever was happening inside his boyfriend, this would be the first day of a whole new life for both of them. Possibly the three of them.

Still not sure about Than...I just hope that he's better when Nor comes back...

The End

Summary: Shore Guardian continues fixing Nor, and the courtroom scene goes on.

Tags: No sex, memories of sex, Nor, Novus Ager, Colorful Council, Various Species, Series, Guilty, Revenge, Payback,