MEGATRON'S WILD CIRCUS
Megatron had no idea what he was thinking when he sent his soldiers out to collect animals for his circus, the silver mech was sure that people would be thrilled at seeing some of the most vicious creatures perform at his command.
But on opening night, one of the animals attacked a small child, causing a media nightmare.
Megatron paced back and forth while a couple of police bots talked to the child's furious father, the silver con winced at how angry the blue and silver bot was.
"I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FRAG WHAT HAPPENED, I WANT THAT THING KILLED!" bellowed the autobot who promptly pulled his mining belt off and lashed it like a whip.
Megatron felt some relief when the angry autobot left, but was soon replaced with dread as one of the cops made his way over to talk with him.
"The good news is that I've managed to talk Codebreaker out of killing the creature that mauled his son, the bad news is that you must have those beasts trained before the next show or you'll be shut down!!" said the officer grimly.
Megatron began to panic. He had until the next show to get his animals trained, how the frag was going to do that in just one week?
The first bot that was hired to tame the raptors was a small yellow and gray bot, but he ran out screaming in terror after only five minutes, the next couple of decepticons fared no better.
Megatron didn't know whether to angry or disgusted by his troops cowardice, the decepticon leader was just about to call it quits when he remembered a beast tamer that could solve all his problems.
So Megatron sent word to the autobot CMO and asked him for help.
The portly medic showed up the next day, with his trademark grumpy old mech scowl plastered on his face, the sheer amount of grumpiness coming from Ratchet was beyond what he was like during the war.
"So where are these terrible monsters that managed to scare off half the decepticon army" teased the old bot with a chuckle, Megatron glared at the smirking medic before pointing the large tent behind him.
"You think you can handle them autobot!" said Megatron.
The old geezer bot pulled out an impressive looking whip and unfurled it, before swinging it over his helm and cracked it effortlessly with a flick of his wrist, which sent a tremor of pleasure to his crotch.
"Does that answer your question Megatron" replied the overly smug medic.
Megatron left to do some work, while the autobot did his own work.
Ratchet's paunch jiggled slightly with each snap of the whip, WHOOOOSHH! CRACK! WHOOOOOSHHH! CRAAACK! WHOOSHH! CRACK! WHOOOSHHH! CRAAACCKK!, causing the two raptors to hiss and growl at him.
The old medic rapidly cracked the whip a few more times, before stopping and coiled it up, feeling a warm sensation in his groin, which was something that the CMO hadn't felt since the war.
Perhaps he'd try a different approach.
Ratchet moaned as the panel on his codpiece retracted and his spike emerged, the salty metallic smell of the autobot's penis had gotten the attention of the raptors, before rushing over to the autobot and began sniffing his rapidly hardening spike.
Blue and Azule were still weary of the whip that was currently coiled in the medic's servo, a hoarse gasp left Ratchet as a thick saurian tongue, slapped across the moistened head of the medic's now fully hard spike.
"Hnghhh...P-primus!" exclaimed the autobot with a groan, causing Blue to cock his head curiously, before giving a couple of quick licks up the base and over the tip of the medic's spike.
Ratchet gave a moan of pleasure from the rapid licks, each lap of the dino's tongue sent jolts of pure agonizing bliss through his body, the medic's moans grew louder and louder with each lick.
Not to be outdone by his brother, Azule joined in as well, lapping away on one side of Ratchet's spike, while Blue did the same on the other side.
Ratchet's knees buckled and he gave a startled yell, falling flat on his aft, gasping as the raptors lashed his bloated spike with their slimy tongues, giving the old doctor pleasure that he hadn't felt in a very long time.
The old bot had a rather pleased smile on his weathered face, "good boys, lick daddy's spike!" said Ratchet in a quiet whisper.
The old autobot could feel impending overload, Blue gave an startled yelp as Azule knocked him aside and engulfed the medic's spike, just as the bot overloaded and gulped down Ratchet's load.
Azule eased his maw off the medic's softening spike and gave it a quick lick, before the medic tucked it in his codpiece and closed the panel, then got to his feet and headed over to talk to Megatron.
A little while later, a strange noise soon filled the air, causing Blue and Azule to cock their heads curiously, before heading to find out what the noise was.
The raptors came across a tent and poked their heads in, a series of hisses and clicks were made by the startled saurians, Ratchet was seated on a bench with Megatron bent over his knees having his bare aft spanked.
"Aragghhh!" yelled the silver con as the autobot's servo landed on his aft with a loud smack, the decepticon seemed to be leaking optical fluid.
"YOU SMACK! WILL NEVER SMACK! SAY THOSE SMACK! THINGS ABOUT OPTIMUS EVER AGAIN" SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! spat Ratchet as he walloped the protoform of Megatron's aft.
The silver howled in a mix of pain and arousal as his spike was trapped against the medic's thigh, "P-please...by the allspark...let me overload" cried Megatron.
"Hmmpf, a mech your age should know better" said the old autobot bitterly, "I mean for spark's sake Megatron, my grandchildren behave better than you!" exclaimed Ratchet as he got the silver con to overload with several whaps to his and and spike.
Megatron was sure that any dignity that he had left, was out the proverbial window, as he bucked against the old autobot's lap like a common fembot.
Ratchet pulled the whimpering decepticon off his lap, feeling rather smug as he watched the once proud decepticon leader rub his stinging aft like a well punished child.
"I hope for your aft's sake that you learned something from all this MEGATRON, because next time, I'll familiarize your aft with my belt."
Even though that Ratchet hated Megatron with a passion, a small part of him was hoping that he would get to whip the silver con's aft again.
"Until next time...Megatron" said the medic as he left the tent.
A few days later, a very determined Codebreaker angrily strode towards the tent where the raptors were kept, "what's the hurry?" asked the medic who seemed to appear out of the nowhere.
"I'm in no mood Ratchet, now hand me your whip and stand aside!" commanded the smaller bot.
Ratchet tossed the item in question to Codebreaker, the older mech shaking his helm at how unprepared the other bot was, watching as the smaller bot strode inside the tent with the whip clenched tightly in his servo.
Codebreaker looked around for the beasts, only to see that the cage was empty and felt a sense of unease come over him, the smaller bot uncoiled the whip, preparing to engage them.
Growls were the only warning that the mech got, before the two raptors emerged from hiding and stalked towards the trembling bot, with only one thing on their minds.
"S-stay...b-back...you filthy beast!" exclaimed the energon miner as he snapped the whip in a panicked state, causing the raptors to growl and move closer towards him.
Codebreaker's face hardened with fierce determination and he unleashed rapid series of whip snaps, at the charging saurians.
WOOOSSSH! CRACK! WOOOSSSH! CRACK! WOOOSSSH! CRACK! WOOOSSH! CRACK! WOOOSSH! CRACK! WOOOSSH! CRACK!, Codebreaker cracked the whip with an seemingly unnatural amount of skill.
Little did the miner know, was that Ratchet was just outside and was furiously stroking his very erect spike, "oooohhh...f-frag! that's right, teach those beasts to respect you" moaned the aroused medic.
Codebreaker's own spike was pressing against his codpiece, so he retracted the panel and freed it form its housing, before snapping the overly long whip yet again.
The autobot miner, suddenly threw down the whip and sunk to his knees, allowing Blue and Azule to approach and start sniffing, gently grabbing Azule's head and guided it to his spike.
"LICK!" commanded the bot, letting out a long moan as the raptor lapped across the head of Codebreaker's spike.
The autobot miner was moaning with every swipe of Azule's tongue, Codebreaker was squirming with each lick that the raptor took, and his optics nearly shorted out when Blue joined in with his tongue.
Outside the tent, Ratchet was so focused on what was happening inside, that he failed to notice that a stray dog looking for food or water had smelled the medic's arousal and swiped its long broad tongue across his scrotum.
"Hnnnngh...P-primus!" exclaimed the old bot in utter surprise from the feel of it, not one to turn down a chance for a good spike licking, Ratchet lowered himself down and sat on the ground with his legs spread.
The dog's tail wagged in excitement as it sniffed all over the medic's penis, before lapping at it quickly.
"OhhhhHHH...frag! that feels good" moaned the autobot CMO, as the dog lapped away at his spike, like it was a big ice-cream cone.
None of the other autobots were aware of the medic's kinks. And he would most likely offline from shame, if the others found out how utterly depraved he actually was.
He'd worry about that, when the time came.
But for right now, Ratchet was perfectly content with letting the dog service him.
Autobot chief medical officer: profile
Age: 60 vorns or so
Gender: mech
Nicknames: party ambulance, Dr. grouchy, grumpa, doctor sexy aft, lord no fun, his royal grumpiness, doc killjoy, doctor whoop aft, grampulance,
Clothing style: formal, always wears a suit, when he needs to wear human clothing.
Favorite threat: don't make me get the wrench
Belt or suspenders: Ratchet is fine with either, but he's partial to the belt, because it make old mechs look classy
Family: sparkmate offline, two grown sparklings, four grandsparklings.
Parenting style: firm but fair
Discipline style: spanking is and has usually been Ratchet's go to for discipline, but he's slowly learning about more modern parenting methods, which he finds rather useless and wishes that more parents spanked their bratty children.
Favorite pick up line: he doesn't need one, his gorgeous aft is all he needs
Kinks: bestiality, watersports, spanking, uniforms, electro-stimulation, fart play, oral sex, cock and balls torture, tickling.
Top or sub: can be both, but prefers to top
Hidden talent: chess prodigy
Secret shame: has a kid with a decepticon
Bathroom habits: up to four times a day for #1 and twice for #2
Using a belt: yes for wearing and for punishing, but only if some bot has been really bad
Sex with a human: only if he's really drunk or giving someone a checkup
Most likely to: complain about the T.V. or music being to loud
Showing affection: insulting people is his way of showing that he cares, it's when he doesn't that you need to worry
Cliche old man trait: gripes about how kids have no respect of their elders, is in favor of corporal punishment, but acts like its barbaric while in public
Generational difference in strictness: harsher with his kids than grandkids in some ways
Something that others don't about him: he's super into anime and trashy magazines
Farting in public or private: public, he is shameless, but its a good way to get rid of pests
Kinkiest sex act that he can imagine: taking a dump while a cuffed decepticon blows him
Sex with alternate versions of himself: yes, yes, and hell yes
Masturbating technique: using his servo or a belt
Ideal sex partner: Swindle, he likes to make money and Ratchet is loaded
Video games: complete waste of time and money in Ratchet's opinion
Something that he does after thanksgiving: loosening his belt and belching
Favorite animated T.V. show: the simpsons
Favorite movie: gone with the wind, cause he's just that old
Favorite adult magazine: Playbot and perhaps Jugs
Something that he wanted to be before the war: a cop
Enjoys reading: trashy romance novels
Loves to be: left the frag alone
Hates to be: treated like an old man
Proud about his: send the most feared con running with a single glower
Is obsessed with: kicking megatron's aft
feels like: nobody respects him
Is fed up with being asked: to be happier
Wishes he could just: leave and never come back
Firmly believes: that a smack on the aft will fix everything
Hates it when: children disobey him, especially when its his own grandkids
People are most afraid of getting: spanked by him
Secretly thinks optimus is: a kid in big boy armor
Transformers scenarios:
Autobots and Decepticons as cops:
Megatron: the cop who would ask for sexual favors in exchange for jailtime
Lugnut: the lovable oaf that hasn't had a blowjob yet
Shockwave: that one mysterious cop that is always in the shadows and most likely the one who is masterminding the crimes
Blitzwing: the crazy guy on the force who's always getting yelled at by the chief for blowing shit up
Swindle: the cute older guy who's getting hit on by women
Optimus: a cop that's far too pure for his own good
Bumblebee: the energetic rookie who's antics always seem to get him in trouble with the chief
Prowl: the same as he was in transformers animated
Ratchet: the short tempered police chief that isn't afraid to spank his men when it is needed
Bots and cons as school teachers:
Megatron: the stern scary one
Optimus: the pushover:
Lugnut: the one that is teased for having a big aft
Shockwave: the harsh yet fair one
Blitzwing: the fun German teacher
Swindle: the one who forces students to pay for good grades
Bumblebee: too cool for school
Ratchet: the grumpy old headmster with a huge paddle in his office
Prowl: more of a hippy rather than a teacher
Bots and cons as types of belts:
Megatron: thick cowboy belt
Lugnut: toolbelt
Blitzwing: regular everyday belt
Shockwave: skinny hipster belt
Swindle: diamond studded belt
Ratchet: thick alligator skin belt
Prowl: police service belt} duh
Bots and cons as dino tamers:
Megatron: the abusive one that is always whipping them
Lugnut: too much of a target
Shockwave: cracks whip and give reward for doing trick} pure and simple
Blitzwing: gets too distracted at all the dirty thoughts in his head
Swindle: the easy going one ass long as he makes money
Ratchet: all he as to do is walk in with the whip and the dinos line up
Bots and cons favorite method of punishing
Megaton: forced to pleasure him
Lugnut: electro-torture
Shockwave: watersports
Swindle: tickle machines
Ratchet: spanking and babying
Bots and Cons as spankers
Megatron: long and slow
Shockwave: rapid fire
Bltzwing: sexual with aft rubs
Swindle: firm but gentle
Ratchet: very hard but at a moderate pace
Bots and cons with X-men style powers
Megatron: mind control
Lugnut: generating earthquakes} laughs at own joke
Shockwave: technopath
Swindle: manipulation of fire
Ratchet: power stealing
Bots and cons biggest sexual problems:
Megatron: man whore
Lugnut: farts during sex
Shockwave: no emotion
Blitzwing: too hardcore
Swindle: always expects to be pleasured but won't give any back
Ratchet: erectile issues 50% of the time
Bots and cons hidden personality types:
Megatron: sparkly anime princess
Lugnut: psychotic little boy
Shockwave: depraved emo
Blitzwing: hyperactive arsonist with ADHD
Swindle: vain studmuffin
Ratchet: shy fat kid that just wants to be loved
Bots and cons as fathers:
Megatron: womanizer
Lugnut: clumsy goofball that does his best
Shockwave: creepy basement dweller
Swindle: sexy sleaze bag
Blitzwing: crazy over the top lunatic
Ratchet: strict and and overprotective
Bots and cons favorite sexual acts:
Megatron: rimming and anal sex
Lugnut: roleplaying
Shockwave: watersports and bondage
Blitzwing: some crazy hardcore shit
Swindle: CBT torture
Ratchet: bestiality and oral sex
Bots and cons anon preferences:
Megatron: prefers to take the paper to the bathroom
Lugnut: prefers to drink alone
Shockwave: prefers to watch his victims scream when they are tortured
Blitzwing: prefers stalking his ex girlfriend than going after another one
Swindle: prefers not to take his kids anywhere fun if he can't make money
Ratchet: prefers to masturbate on the toilet than anywhere else
Bots and cons super hero/ super villain names:
Megatron: lord darkspark
Lugnut: king of quakes
Shockwave: cycloptron
Blitzwing: three-face
Swindle: scam artist
Optimus: super prime
Bumblebee: the stinger
Bulkhead: kid iron-fist
Prowl: Mr. stealth
Ratchet: Dr. surge
Names that the cons give to the TFA Autobots:
Optimus: dorkamus prime
Ultra magnus: ultra looser
Sentinel prime: ass chin
Bumblebee: little baby bumbleboo
Bulkhead: clumsy robo-ox
Prowl: chief flat-aft
Ratchet: paunchy
Things that would happen if the TFA characters met their transformers prime counterparts:
Megatron would most likely team up with the other and be plotting to kill him
Shockwave would see the logic in teaming up
Ratchet gripe about something and then make out with his other self
Bumblebee would take his other self street racing and get in huge trouble
Ratchet/Ultra Magnus pairing:
Who usually starts things: Ratchet always engages first by leaving Magnus little notes
Who is more like to snore after sex: both of them
Who is more likely to be caught masturbating: Magnus has only ever caught Ratchet once, and that was in his office. But Ratchet has caught Magnus stroaking it many times.
What kinks do they share: both have a thing for spanking, Ultra Magnus has spanked the medic more times than he gets it from Ratchet, which leaves bots wondering if Ratch is some kind of masochist.
Who usually farts the loudest: Ratchet
Who is kinkier: Ratchet, seeing as the medic has like a dozen kinks while that prude Magnus has like two
Who is better at oral: Ratchet prefers to receive, but is skilled at giving it as well, Ultra magnus prefers getting oral
Who is more likely to wear a belt on a daily basis: Ultra Magnus
Who prefers having their spike licked by a dog: both
Who is more into the diaper fetish: Ultra Magnus