FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 13: Impure

"I was the chosen one for that century," said Nontikmah, her blue eyes far away as she related her tale. "Dyzere took my paw, and together we traveled for weeks on foot. He led me out of the forest, down to the beach. He held me in his arms and walked across the water - all the way across the sea. It took many days to cross, of course. When he grew tired, he would sit on his tails, which allowed him to float above the water. And I would sit in his lap. And if I grew hungry? Well . . . we brought plenty of apples with us."

Keeno laughed. "So then what? After you crossed the sea?"

The group had become so engaged with Nontikmah's tale that Kel and Keeno had subconsciously forsaken their duties on watch. All watched Nontikmah steadily, and even Wynn had to admit she was on the edge of her seat. Kilyan was still cradling Nontikmah's limp body and asked her gently to go on.

"We reached this place, the wastelands. Of course, more than one hundred years ago, they were lush and green with life. The trees had leaves a very deep green in color, and the earth was rich and soft beneath the grass. A small tribe of wolves lived here, what you now know as the sun wolves. They were direct descendants of the shemales, outcasts who had not been born with both sets of sexual organs."

The group looked at each other in amazement as Nontikmah paused to feebly catch her breath.

"The sun wolves and the shemales were at war. The sun wolves hated their mother tribe for the harsh rejection thrust upon them, and the shemales hated their children for their lack of everything considered shemale. A war took place here between them, here upon the wastelands. And it was this war and its raging fire that wiped the wastelands clean of life. The other tribes of this land across the sea - the summer wolves, the winter wolves, the mountain wolves - they did not as yet exist. Dyzere told me we had nothing to fear from the sun wolves, and as the lands beyond were empty and as yet untouched by the paw of wolf, we traveled on confidently.

"We passed through a great forest, where Dyzere made the trees lean down to offer their fruit. The nymphs watched us and followed us at a distance. I was terrified of them and their blank, emotionless eyes. They seemed only able to feel desire, and Dyzere told me this was true. There were only a round dozen of them back then, so my fear seemed silly to me: they were obviously afraid of whatever great powers Dyzere possessed. They kept their distance, scampering back should he just look at them. . . ." Nontikmah laughed weakly. "He told me they were failed attempts. Nymphs are wolves who were chosen by the fox kings and queens of old. They failed the transformation during the ritual and became what you know today. Back then they were harmless. Dyzere assured me of this. And we continued on.

"You are familiar with the mountains to the north, are you not? And you know what's beyond there? You have some little myths and legends about it, don't you?"

"Not just legends," Kel said. "Some of us have been there. The endless grasslands. The eternal nothing."

Nontikmah smiled. "Ah, yes. That is what you mortals call it."

"We mortals are getting impatient," cut in Wynn, who sat with her arms folded. "What does all of this have to do with me and Sylas? If you're just gonna give us a history lesson --"

"Wynn," warned Kilyan, lifting his eyebrows.

Wynn huffed and glared in the opposite direction.

"Do not trouble yourself so, Wynn," was Nontikmah's amused answer. "You will learn the way of patience after a hundred years or so have cooled you toward mortal kind. You mortals. Atrocious little bugs! Killing and maiming each other out of stupidity and arrogance --"

"And yet you once walked among us, a mere mortal!" Wynn shot back.

Nontikmah, as ever, only smiled at her. "Exactly, Wynn. As I walked the forest with Dyzere, I lamented to him the condition of my kind. I wanted to help my fellow wolves to evolve beyond the need for war and senseless killing. He laughed and told me that I would make a perfect fox: foxes attempted to do just that every single day. We walk among mortals, helping in secret where we can, proving the guardian angel, lending a paw and then disappearing when necessary. We are your only light in this dark world. Because we are the only sentient creatures that can do no wrong."

"Ha!" cried Wynn bitterly. She leapt to her feet. "You took my father like a piece of chattel - and that's not wrong?" she demanded through narrowed eyes.

"Apparently not," answered Nontikmah, a haughty little gleam in her eye, "since I can not commit a crime anymore than you could breathe underwater. To do something explicitly wrong would kill me. Foxes are meant to be pure, innocent, completely good. We are meant to be the impossible, to guide this world in the right direction --"

"And a fine job you're doing too!" shot Wynn.

Nontikmah's trembling lips twisted in a dark smile. "Maybe after the ritual, you will do better."

"Wynn," jumped in Kilyan, his body tense after hearing the witch allude to his daughter's irreversible state, "enough! Let Nontikmah finish --"

"It is alright, Kilyan. The child has harbored some feelings of rage toward me for years. It is best we discuss it and end the matter." So saying, Nontikmah struggled to stand, ignoring Kilyan and Aliona when they protested.

"Here is why taking your father was not considered wrong, my child," said the witch, her head tilted down as she calmly regarded Wynn's stiff anger, "your father gave his consent! He went willingly with me into my bedroom. He went there, knowing that I would still have eventually helped you had he simply said no. Kilyan knew my touch because he wanted to!"

Kilyan closed his eyes as the truth was announced so blatantly before his parents, his best friend, his own child. Yes, it was very true: he had known Nontikmah was a good soul and that she would probably have helped them whether or not he slept with her. But after talking to her and basking in the sweet light of her presence, he had made love to her because he felt sorry for her. She was such a lonely thing, so broken and rejected by every male that came her way. But it wasn't only that. He cared about Nontikmah too. There in the glowing candlelight, as they lay together in the tangled sheets, they had become friends.

When Kilyan made no protest against Nontikmah's triumphant words, an awkward silence laid upon them all. Kel glanced sympathetically at his son: it seemed the past couple of days had served only one purpose, and that purpose was to punish Kilyan for all his past decisions. For Wynn looked as if she wanted to hit her father. Yet another female bedded so eagerly by him, and yet she was not allowed to satisfy her own lusts? She gazed at her father with accusatory green eyes.

"How could you?" Wynn whispered, then suddenly dashed away.

"Wynn!" Kilyan called, pulling himself clumsily to his feet.

Inden ran after Wynn at once and Keeno followed. Kilyan looked as if he would follow too, but Kel placed a firm paw on his shoulder.

"Let them bring her back," Kel told his son. "We must guard your mother and the witch. And we must hear how Wynn's state might be undone . . . if it can be undone."

Kilyan still looked as if he wanted to go after Wynn, but he blinked and nodded, and he was suddenly glad to realize that his parents, at least, were on his side. Aliona rubbed his shoulder and Kel looked nothing but sympathetic to see his son's life riddled with such unhappiness.

"She'll be okay, Kilyan," Aliona soothingly told her son. "She just doesn't understand. And it's been a hard last couple of days for us all."

Kilyan nodded heavily again, his eyes trained on the dirt. He turned suddenly as if he'd just remembered Nontikmah. The witch was trembling where she stood, on the brink of falling over. Kilyan caught her as she staggered and lowered her again to sit against the stone pillar. He and Aliona squatted beside her as Kel once again stood watch, peering into the distance for the return of the others.

"But, Nontikmah," said Kilyan, "how did you get . . . like this?"

"Was getting to that," answered the vixen, silk in her voice again as she gazed at Kilyan.

Kilyan looked uncomfortably away. He sat in the dirt, pulling his knees up and running a miserable paw back through his mane as his mind reeled, no doubt, with the overwhelming events of the last couple days.

"Tell us," encouraged Aliona, putting a paw on Nontikmah's shoulder. "You were speaking of the eternal lands."

"Ah, yes," said Nontikmah, smiling as she thought of it. "That is where Dyzere eventually took me. When we arrived, I looked at him and said, 'But there's nothing here!' How amusing he found that! There was something there alright. I just didn't have the immortal eyes to see it. He held out his paw, and the air rippled like water, and he told me it was the doorway into Miras Eii, his home and the very center of fox power. It was there, in the heart of that beautiful place so rich in color, that Dyzere made love to me, changing me forever from wolf to vixen.

"I became the creature you knew in your arms six years ago, Kilyan. I transformed beneath him, my body wreathing in agony in the sheets. It is painful, the transformation, because it involves the death of the mortal body and the birth of the immortal one. And only especially strong and brave wolves can withstand it. Once I had changed, he leaned down and whispered in my ear a new name - 'Nontikmah - awake!' and my eyes sprang open.

"We lived together in Miras Eii for a very long time. But Dyzere was very old and near dying. Immortal does not mean deathless, as wolves so often think. Dyzere had walked this world when wolves were still on all fours. When the earth was overrun with forests and jungles and the land was one continent. Before the wolf developed language, my Dyzere was there, shaping birds from clay and sending them away into the sky."

"You're not saying . . ." said Kel slowly. "Dyzere didn't . . . create the world?"

Nontikmah laughed. "No. I wouldn't know that. And I doubt he would have told me. I was easily shocked back then, made nervous by my own shadow. I only know that he was very old and that other foxes came before him. He was the son of the son, remember? It was his time to die, and he did - right there in Miras Eii. I buried him near the waterfall with the naive thought that perhaps the crashing waters would somehow sooth him in his eternal slumber. Either way, it was a pretty spot."

Nontikmah smiled sadly before continuing.

"Exactly one hundred years later," the witch said mistily, "I gave birth to Dyzere's son, Sylas."

"So Sylas is the king now," said Kilyan as it dawned on him, "and that's why he must choose a mortal - and that's why he chose Wynn . . ."

"Right," confirmed Nontikmah. "He has always loved your daughter, Kilyan. She was all he ever talked about for years. It was the sweetest thing."

Sweet or not, Kilyan was not pleased by this. Not pleased at all. First his daughter had been leaving him for the jungle, but now, if she chose to run off with Sylas, she would be leaving him for eternity. He stared at the ground as if he couldn't believe it was happening.

"And," said Nontikmah heavily (and she, too, was now looking at the ground), "six years later - only six because you are mortal, Kilyan - I gave birth to your pup."

Kilyan's head snapped up. "What! Where is -?"

"Dead."

Everyone stared at Nontikmah, whose face was gaunt, flat, and emotionless when she spoke the word.

Kilyan leaned forward. "Nontikmah - how --"

"I killed it," she answered.

Kilyan and Kel glanced at each other in horror.

"Why?" Aliona cried, grabbing the witch's shoulders. Kilyan was a little shocked when his mother actually shook Nontikmah. "Tell us, for god's sake!"

Nontikmah's lip curled and she shook Aliona off, bursting out, "Because I had to!"

After being thrust off, Aliona fell back, but she didn't notice it when Kel rushed in concern to her side. She sat up and simply stared at Nontikmah. Stared in amazement.

"When the ch-child grew up," Nontikmah explained with difficulty, "it would have to challenge Sylas in a fight to the death. The fight would happen the way the seasons change - there would be no stopping it! There can only be one king, one queen. That is the fox law."

"So that's why you're like this," Kilyan said as it dawned on him, "and that's why Sylas ran away: you committed an act of evil. . . . you're dying!"

Nontikmah bowed her head, and when her breasts started to shiver, they knew she was crying. Kilyan gathered her into his arms and rocked her as she wept, and closing his eyes, he could not help but also weep for their child. How difficult it must have been for her to do such a thing, to stop that child's life in order to save the other . . . For Kilyan suddenly knew that Sylas would never have been able to bear killing his own flesh and blood. To kill his half-brother would have killed Sylas. And there would have been no king. And the kingdom of the foxes would have fallen. And without the foxes . . . there would be no light to guide them in their dark world.

"Shush," whispered Kilyan, rocking Nontikmah. "We'll find Sylas, we'll explain to him why you did it . . . and I promise you, I won't leave you. I promise."

"But . . . if they killed each other?" asked Aliona slowly.

"I would have had to find a mate and bear another child," Nontikmah confirmed. "So either way . . . the fate of the kingdom was on my shoulders alone."

"And you were very brave," whispered Kilyan, hating himself. Why? Why didn't he just say no? Because he wanted to give Nontikmah a moment of happiness, some happiness with a male that he felt she deserved. He wanted her to feel wanted instead of rejected. He wanted her to feel loved. And she had felt it. He knew that now: she was in love with him!

"Inden!" Kel called.

Kilyan looked up to see Inden approaching them, but he was approaching alone. Kilyan's heart pounded hard in his chest as Kel and Aliona rushed to the boy to know what had happened. Inden assured them that Wynn and Keeno were fine: Inden had tripped and it was Keeno who caught up to Wynn and grabbed her. He was talking to his niece at that very moment.

Kilyan sagged in relief as Inden continued talking with the older wolves. He looked down at Nontikmah to find her smiling weakly at him. The blue spheres blinked up at him so dotingly it was painful.

"I wasn't looking for Sylas," Nontikmah admitted in a whisper. "I'm too impure now to stand in his presence . . . He witnessed it, Kilyan. He saw me holding that pup d-down . . ." Her lip trembled and she stopped as if she couldn't go on (for which Kilyan was grateful). "No, Kilyan," she whispered brokenly. "I crossed the sea . . . to die in your arms."

Kilyan closed his eyes. "Oh, Nontikmah, don't say that. You're going to live --"

"No, Kilyan," she gently assured him, "I am now too impure."