FSE

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All parties on that lonely road remain silent, from the bewildered and frightened campers to the spectral and surprised travelers. All were caught off-guard when the kobold stepped up to the teetering coach, rolling the bone-spoked wheel toward the large and headless driver, a magical hand holding aiding him in holding the vehicle up.

"Hihi!" she chirps. "I'm Tik Tik. Nice to meet you!"

The silent driver turns to face the kobold, or his body stands directly in front of her, one hand holding up the coach, while another silently takes the wheel. Standing before him, she can finally appreciate the broad shoulders, the mountainous pectorals, and the field of muscle that is his tight and rippling stomach.

The silent driver slides his hand down the coach's side, lifting it up and slapping the wheel back into place with his free hand, dropping the vehicle with a "thump."

Tik Tik wipes her brow.

"So, where you going?" Tik Tik asks, dissipating her magical hand. "Friends and I travel down the road. We go see famous wizard. You?"

The driver picks up his coat, slinging it over his shoulders, covering his physique, and adjusting his collar.

"You know, driver silent type. Very hot, though. You living? Spirit? Angel? Demon?"

The headless creature silently walks around to the other side of the coach, thumping his gloved hand against the door. It opens, and he stands aside, his passengers returning individually. First, it is the skeleton. Then it is the veiled woman, and finally, the pig approaches. But she stops, snorting, and smiles at Tik Tik.

"You're not afraid of us, little one?" she asks an air of mischief in her voice.

"No time be afraid," Tik Tik says. "When want learn and thirst for driver!" she bounces.

The pig snorts, slapping the door. "Well, aren't you a riot? You said you're going to see a wizard? So are we! There's plenty of room inside for more passengers. It's bigger than it looks, you know!"

"Great!" Tik Tik says. "Tik Tik will tell her friends!"

There is a rattling of silent protests from the bushes, but the kobold scampers on over, cupping her hands and shouting. "Wake up, friends. We got means of travel on cold and lonely night!"

"You supremely stupid sack of shit!" Gimmegee yelps, hopping from her hiding place and grabbing the kobold by the throat. "Don't you know who these creatures are? This is a Death Coach! They've come to take someone to the afterlife! It could be any one of us. It could be all of us, and you're just inviting yourself in?"

Tik Tik smiles, fluttering her eyes and croaking, "Harder!"

Gimmegee scoffs and drops the kobold, shrugging to her companions. "Looks like we've been found out, gals. Best make the best of it and politely decline."

"Hold on!" Tik Tik grunts, rubbing her throat. "Listen to Tik Tik. They go to see wizard. We go to see wizard. Maybe they go to see same wizard."

"N-no, our research!" Erin stumbles out, hastily carrying gathered traveling equipment and supplies. "If they take our primary source, all of our data must be re-done. There's no way we could get there before they do."

"Not unless we go with them!" Tik Tik says, tapping her nose.

"You gals better hurry up," snorts the pig. "Our driver isn't one to delay."

The driver had gone to the horses, patting each headless stallion on the back, before he gets to the one in the lead, petting behind the ears.

The head stallion snorts and whinnies, glancing to and fro, stopping on the kobold before blowing a big breath and a loud shout.

The coachman grips the stallion's reins, pulling him back, getting him to settle down with assuring pats, but not a sound.

Tik Tik scurries over to their side of the coach, thumping the side of the carriage. Its door bursts open, revealing to them a lavish and ample seating area with padded benches and macabre decoration of spine-tinglingly spiny light stands, skull candle holders, and tables with actual skeletal legs for legs.

"You all get in," Tik TIk says, urging each of her friends onward with quick little taps to their butts as each passes them. Eshere is last, and the slime looks inside, frowning. "Are you sure about this, Tik Tik?"

"What? They dead!" Tik Tik says. "When last time dead person hurt you?"

"Well, I wouldn't say 'hurt, but Thiffrin Iccran was quite physical in the Tournament."

"You worry too much. We all good spell casters. Can defend ourselves. Live a little before you join the passengers for real!" The kobold slaps the slime with her tail, though it doesn't urge Eshere on, leaving a residue on her scales.

"What about you?" Eshere asks, slipping on inside.

"Oh, Tik Tik has plans out here," the kobold purrs, shutting the door. She scampers up the side of the coach, sitting shotgun.

The driver clambers up to his side of the coach, his spectral weight tilting the whole thing for a moment before he picks up his whip and his rein.

"So, you drive this all the time?" Tik Tik asks.

He doesn't respond, instead snapping the whip. When he does, the horses accelerate slowly through the winding road.

For a minute, the two sit in silence, Tik Tik watching as the countryside passes by, the cold of the grave shuddering up from all around the coach.

"This so peaceful and quiet," she muses to herself. "Is this what it like?" She asks. "Being dead?"

The coachman says nothing. Can he say anything? Instead, she sighs, and sits back. "Maybe Tik Tik should go inside. More talkative in there, is it? Unless..." she flutters her eyes. "You want talk no words. Can you hear?"

The driver lifts a hand, extending his thumb upward.

Tik Tik's grin becomes a toothy trap. "Good, good...!