SNEAK PEEK Cost of Life Novel: Book 1: Love & Loathing CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 1
TAKING A CHANCE
Chris nursed his drink slowly as he sat at the bar and let his mind wander. Club Lynx was a fairly nice place, one of the upscale gay bars in the area. The wood paneling on the walls and floors made the place seem retro, as if it belonged on Earth. It was far enough from base to make the clientele a little less military, and Chris liked that. He didn't want to be recognized here. It would be a good place to meet a nice civilian guy, but that wasn't the reason he came here, especially tonight.
Five years ago today, the coup that brought about the first galactic civil war was in full swing. He remembered the chaos. Federation loyalists and rebel radicals fought openly in the streets of most every planet in the federation. He remembered clearly when it came to his doorstep. He was only a Colonel at the time, and was tying up some loose ends with the few rebel sympathizers in the military, when he got a phone call. It was a phone call he heard playing in his head every day since; the one telling him that both his parents and his sister had been murdered by the rebels. He remembered the fear frozen on their cold faces when he identified them in the morgue. He remembered the lacerations from the ropes tying them. He remembered the jagged slices through their necks. At the time, and even sometimes now, he hated knowing the specifics of that kind of killing. The ripped flesh around the cuts signified a somewhat dull blade, and the depth of the cuts went past their esophagi, which made it more than just a throat slitting. He had seen it done before. It was ugly business, slowly drowning on your own blood, and it took a long time. He wished he didn't have that knowledge. He wished he could have imagined their deaths being quick and relatively painless. But he knew. He knew what kind of pain they went through. In his nightmares he could hear gurgling screams.
He shook his head quickly to try to shake out the memories, quickly finished off his beer, and waved at the barkeep to bring him another. The young red fox nodded and grabbed another bottle from the fridge behind him. Popping open the cap, he set it in front of Chris. The fox stared at him a moment and sighed, his ears tilted slightly back with some kind of expression of worry on his face. Chris knew he wouldn't try to talk to him. The fox had worked there a while, and knew not to bother him on this day, if not exactly why.
Chris thought of the first couple times he had been to this bar. That fox, Kyle was his name, had come up to him and started hitting on him. Kyle was a good fifteen years younger than Chris, but he guessed that the fox just liked older guys. Chris wasn't much on the young ones, and thought that the fox was way too small for his large panther frame, so he turned him down. Much to Chris' chagrin, though, Kyle was persistent. He finally gave in and went home with the fox once, but it turned out to be an awkward affair. Kyle turned out to be a total bottom, and Chris hadn't had much experience as a top. Chris knew it was always going to be a one night stand, but it was still embarrassing for both of them. He didn't know why the few guys he met always pegged him as a top because of his size. It was quite frustrating, and one of the reasons he rarely got laid anymore.
He sighed as his mind chalked his failed love life on the blackboard of his bad mood. He wished he could bring himself to meet guys to actually date instead of just sleep with. Ever since his family's deaths, though, he could never open up to people. He quickly dismissed the idea of trying to pick up a nice lay tonight. He had never done it this day of the year. His mind always trailed off to what happened five years prior and the mood always left him. His ears twitched as he heard footsteps in his direction, but he continued to stare at his beer when he saw a lean tiger sit on the stool next to him out of the corner of his eye.
"Hey." The tiger said after he sat down. Chris glanced at him. The tiger was fairly cute, and seemed to be fairly close to his age, but Chris reminded himself that this was not the night for a hookup.
"Hi." He replied, simply. One of the tiger's perked ears turned to the side after the bland reply.
"I'm Jeremy." He said, obviously trying to start a conversation. Chris wondered why people couldn't just leave him to his mourning alone.
Chris just lowered his head and stared down without a response. He hoped that Jeremy would get the hint that he just wanted to be left alone. He got his wish after a long pause before the tiger sighed and left the stool.
"What's wrong with me?" Chris muttered almost silently to himself. The tiger was handsome, and seemed to have an interest in him, why couldn't Chris just suck it up and talk to him? Here he was sitting alone in a bar, still unable to even open up enough to just talk to him. It needed to stop, he decided. He turned to look for the tiger, but saw only his back as he went into the restroom near the end of the bar. He figured it was probably too late.
Jeremy sighed as he left the restroom. He had hoped that things would have gone better with the panther at the bar. He wondered what got him so down. The panther had been the only really attractive guy he had seen so far in the club. He really liked the bigger built guys. He told himself that it would just take some time to make some new friends in this town. He had just arrived here earlier in the day, and didn't have to check into his new unit until Monday, so he decided that he would spend his first Saturday in a new town out and about. It hadn't gone very well so far. Most of the guys in this club were either too young or too extreme for his taste, which is what attracted him to the panther most. He seemed like a perfectly normal guy, even if he was particularly depressed. He decided he'd just scan the club a bit more before leaving, when a large and rather drunk lion stumbled up to him and smiled awkwardly at Jeremy.
"Hey there cutie," the lion slurred loudly, "wanna fuck?"
"Uh, no thanks." Jeremy replied, trying not to sound too disgusted.
"Aw, come on man. You know you want some of this." The lion grabbed his own crotch, making himself look even more unappealing. He took a step toward Jeremy, but stumbled and fell forward on to him, almost knocking him over.
It was then that Jeremy realized how loud the lion was, and how much of a scene was being made. He looked around and saw almost all the faces in the club turned toward him and the lion.
"Yeah, I'm good without that, thank you." He replied to the lion just now getting his balance back, and started to walk away. The lion grabbed Jeremy's arm hard and yanked him back.
"Fuck no. You don't say no to me. No one says no to Renard."
Jeremy quickly sized up the situation. He knew it would have to come to a physical confrontation, as much as he didn't want to get into a bar fight on his first day in town. He quickly realized he would have a hard time getting out of the lion's grip, much less defending himself against the much larger, and much stronger looking lion. Despite the obvious disadvantage, Jeremy's ears went flat.
"Let me the fuck go." He said threateningly, baring his teeth at the lion. Jeremy hated fights, but could definitely hold his own due to his military training.
"Sure, after I get what's mine." The lion growled, still very drunk, but with that gleam of violence in his eyes and a smile on his muzzle.
"I believe he said 'no' already." A deep voice said from behind the lion before Jeremy could retort.
Jeremy looked up from the lion's face to see the panther from the bar. Comparatively, he was even larger than the lion that still clung to Jeremy's arm. The panther stood tall, and was definitely the most intimidating fur in the club, to include the bouncers. The lion turned to face the panther, and Jeremy saw a flash of fear cross the lion's face when he saw the panther's size.
"Who the fuck cares?" He yelled in the panther's face.
Faster than Jeremy could blink, the panther grabbed the lion by the throat and lifted him off the ground. The lion's grip instantly loosened on Jeremy's arm, freeing him.
"Maybe I do." The panther growled with the most menacing face Jeremy thought he had ever seen. If he was on the receiving end of that glare, he would have backed away without a thought. The lion struggled in the panther's grip, choking, as the bouncers finally made their way to the scene.
"Let him go, Chris. We got him." One of the bouncers, a bear, said.
Chris dropped the lion, who crumbled to the floor only to be picked up and led to the door by the bouncers. Chris' eyes stayed down for a moment then moved up to meet Jeremy's. His face changed instantly back to the sad face Jeremy saw at the bar, and looked down as if embarrassed. The panther started to turn back toward the bar, when Jeremy rushed up and touched him on the arm.
"Hey, thank you." He said, trying to look into the panther's sad eyes as he turned back to face Jeremy.
"It's nothing." The panther replied, still not meeting Jeremy's eyes. "I don't like it when big guys try to harass smaller ones." He turned back around and headed back to his bar stool.
Jeremy was intrigued by the panther. He wondered what it was that wasn't letting him look into Jeremy's eyes. He followed him to the bar, and sat on the next stool.
"It's Chris, right?" He said, perking his ears forward and trying to seem friendly even though that had failed before.
"Yeah."
"What's the matter?" Jeremy asked sincerely. He may not have known Chris at all, but it was one of Jeremy's flaws to try to help everyone. He didn't like seeing people so sad all the time.
The panther shook his head, ears down. "It's nothing."
"Come on. Something's bothering you." Jeremy put his hand out on top of the panther's. It seemed huge compared to Jeremy's. The panther ears perked up and his eyes went wide at the touch for a second before settling back down how they were.
"It's just." The panther sighed. "It's the fifth anniversary of my father's, mother's, and sister's murders." He closed his eyes as if against a horrible memory that conjured itself in the panther's mind.
Jeremy nodded slowly. "I know how that feels. My parents were murdered in the uprising, too."
Chris' ears perked up and he finally looked into Jeremy's eyes. The panther's eyes were a beautiful deep mahogany, intensified by the deep black fur around them. Jeremy smiled at him warmly.
"Drinking doesn't make it go away, and being alone while doing it makes it even worse." Jeremy continued, locking his gaze with the panther's.
"I... I don't have anyone else." The panther looked away.
Jeremy felt bad for the panther. No one deserved to be alone on a day like this. He hoped he wasn't being too forward, and hesitated saying what he wanted to.
"If you want, you can talk with me." He said finally, squeezing the panther's hand slightly. Chris looked to meet his gaze once more and Jeremy thought he could see a faint smile on his muzzle.
The pair talked at the bar for a while. Chris' mood seemed to slowly improve as they talked, first about their parents, then about nothing in particular. Jeremy liked the panther. He was an interesting guy, not to mention hot. He knew he shouldn't say that to Chris, not tonight at least, but he thought it often while they talked.
Chris paused for a moment and turned away from Jeremy to stare at his beer. "Would you, uh... Would you like to come over to my place?"
Jeremy was taken aback. He certainly wasn't expecting to go home with the panther, as inviting as it was. He noticed a twitch in the panther's tail and ears when he asked. Chris was nervous. Jeremy smiled warmly at the panther; his feelings about him seemed mutual.
"Sure." He said, smiling. Chris turned back to look in his eyes and for the first time smiled fully.
Chris unlocked the door to his apartment, ushering the smaller tiger through the door. He wished he had cleaned up some, but if Jeremy noticed, he didn't give any sign of caring. He didn't really know what attracted him to the tiger. Sure he was physically attractive, but so were a number of guys at the bar. There was something about Jeremy that pulled Chris toward him, something in his eyes. Chris stared at those golden eyes after he closed the door. Warmth washed over him, strange but welcoming. An unknown urge came over him. He rushed to the tiger and kissed him. At first Jeremy jumped at the contact, but he seemed to melt into the embrace. The tiger's arms wrapped around Chris as far as they could reach. Chris pulled Jeremy closer to him, now able to feel the swelling in the tiger's groin that matched his own. They broke the kiss and stared into each other's eyes. Chris felt Jeremy's arms caressing his side and start to move for the buttons on his shirt. Chris mimicked this as they undressed each other until they were both standing in nothing but boxers.
Chris eyed the tiger's body; though not as big as Chris, his muscles were well defined under his orange fur. He saw Jeremy's tail twitch in excitement and the musk of the two males' arousal was thick. Chris was already starting to get hard just looking at the tiger. He met Jeremy's bright golden gaze and saw a slight smile across his muzzle. Chris saw no mischievousness behind that smile. It wasn't the sultry stare of someone who played the hook up game at bars and just looked for the next lay. It was a warm smile. It was welcoming.
He slowly moved forward and embraced the tiger in another kiss, moving his hands to the waistband of Jeremy's boxers. He shivered in excitement as he felt Jeremy's hands mirroring his. The pair slid each other's boxers down almost simultaneously while still kissing, and Chris pulled the tiger's hips to his, feeling the smooth flesh come into contact with his own. He moved his paw and put it around the tiger's member, gripping and moving his paw slowly up and down the shaft. He broke the kiss as he descended to his knees, bringing the tiger's cathood to his eyes. It wasn't as large as Chris', but it definitely wasn't small.
Jeremy gasped as Chris ran his tongue up the hard pink shaft, flicking his tongue as he reached the tip. Chris looked up and smiled at the tiger, who smiled back. Turning his attention back to the tiger's cock, he stroked it one last time before plunging it into his muzzle. Jeremy moaned at the contact, throwing his head back in ecstasy. Chris savored the taste and breathed in the tiger's male musk deeply. Jeremy's paw came down to the back of Chris' head, pushing slightly down as the panther worked the member in and out of his muzzle. Chris felt the tiger's slight shivers, and stopped before pushing him over the edge.
"Damn, you're good." Jeremy said between panting as Chris rose to his feet.
"Mmm thanks. Come on." Chris grabbed the tiger's arm, and led him to the bedroom. Jeremy chuckled as he followed.
Chris let go of the tiger at the foot of the bed. The panther went to the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of lube he kept in the drawer. Walking back to Jeremy, he poured some of the gel into his paw. Chris looked up to see Jeremy tense slightly, staring at Chris' large hard on.
"Uh. I really don't think I could take that. I'm not that experienced as a bottom."
Chris just smiled in response, taking his lubed up paw, and grabbing Jeremy's shaft, slicking it down. "Good thing I'm not a top."
Jeremy let out a sigh of relief and a chuckle, "I had you pegged for a top, honestly."
Chris chuckled. "Most guys do. Apparently big guys can't enjoy getting plowed these days."
Jeremy laughed. Chris finished coating Jeremy's shaft with the cool gel, and fell back on the bed, lifting his knees and hips to apply the lube to himself. He moaned as he anticipated what was to come while his fingers worked in and out of his hole, coating it in gel. Jeremy walked forward once Chris removed his hands. The tiger grabbed Chris' legs, pushing them forward causing his hips to raise even further off the bed. Chris' moans grew louder as he felt the tip of the tiger's member slowly enter him. Jeremy pushed more until his shaft was fully in. Chris moved the lubed paw to his own member and started to stroke in time with the tiger's motions.
Chris moaned as Jeremy started going full swing. He heard Jeremy panting above him. He hoped he could keep from finishing before the tiger did. He was so turned on that he felt he could blow any second. He slowed his strokes slightly and breathed, concentrating on making himself last. He felt Jeremy start to thrust faster and harder, moaning through his labored breaths. The tiger was close. Speeding his strokes back up, he started thrusting back into Jeremy with his hips, hungry for the coming climax. Jeremy's moans grew louder, almost reaching the volume of Chris' until finally thrusting hard into the panther and almost roaring as he emptied himself into Chris. Almost immediately after, Chris thrust his hips up in a roar, spilling his seed onto his stomach. The two started to relax, panting hard.
"Damn... You... feel good." Chris said between breaths.
"God, you too." Jeremy replied. "Got you all messy." He smiled at the panther warmly.
"Nothing a washcloth can't fix." Chris smiled back, pulling the tiger down and kissing him.
Chris moaned as Jeremy pulled out of him. He stood up and walked to the bathroom, wetting down two washcloths. He threw one to the tiger, and wiped his stomach off with the other.
"Not completely clean, but we can shower later." He said, winking at Jeremy. Chris fell back to the bed, pulling Jeremy down with him. He shifted up to the tiger's back, putting his arm around him and cradling his muzzle to his neck. "That was great."
"Yeah," Jeremy sighed in relaxation, leaning back against the panther. "I'd love to do that again sometime."
Chris pecked a kiss to the back of the tiger's head, "Yeah, me too." He sighed contently. "Me too."