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The Long Gift 17--A Duel in... SSSPPPAAAACCCEEEE! By Zmeydros AKA Lucien Quinn AKA Alexi Tishen.

***Campaign resumes.**

The spooge has cleared and our intrepid adventurers awaken the next morning to someone ringing the chime for their quarters. Bert lets go of Rita and hops off of the bed. He considers getting clothes on, but decides against it when he realizes that almost everyone on this station has already seen him naked.

Looking back at Leneth and Rita, he sees that they are both watching him intently. He feels heat rush to his face at all their attention. Why would anyone take a vow of celibacy? Last night opened his eyes and his... The heat on his face increases. Rita's cock is the best thing that's ever happened to him.

The chime rings again and he jumps in surprise, having completely forgotten about the door.

He tries to open it and then realizes that they're locked in. They're still technically prisoners. Why would they be chiming then, why not just open the door? Are they being polite or something? Just as he asks that question to himself, he sees a button on the side of the door blinking a dull amber color underneath some horizontal slits that might be for an intercom speaker.

Pressing the button in, he says. "Hello?"

When he lets go of the button he hears a soft female voice on the other end. "My name's Elise and I got your breakfast. You ready for it?"

Giving Rita and Newton a questioning look, Bert says, "Are we ready?"

They both smirk and nod.

"Yes, come in," Bert says into the intercom.

The door opens to reveal a busty cougar carrying a tray with three glasses of orange juice and three servings of eggs benedict. Elise stares at Bert's crotch for a moment before shaking her head and trying to focus on Bert's face instead. "I'm guessin' you want it on the table?"

It's Bert's turn to shake his head to rid his mind of the urge to bury his head in this cougar's cleavage. "S-sure." Stepping to the side, he watches her walk past him. Movement out of the corner of his eye causes him to look into the hallway. Two guards are standing in the doorway, one male purple lizard and one female ocelot. Their eyes are locked on Bert's pussy and they are grinning as if they're overjoyed just to get a closer look.

These guards have beautiful toned bodies and Bert feels his cunny grow wet as his clit starts to throb. He always thought his gender was something people in the outside world wouldn't understand and wouldn't like. These pirates are probably a bit more kinky than the general population, though. Walking up closer to the door, Bert gives them a bit of a show. He feels really sexy getting all this attention... Maybe he can distract them enough for Rita or Newton to get free.

Getting free might not do them any good, but playing with these guards will be fun even if there's no utility in it. Bert brushes his clit and thrusts his hips forward; the guards lean in closer. He slides a finger into his cunny and squeaks; the guards lick their lips and Elise gropes his ass as she walks by. Being groped while he has his fingers inside himself feels divine.

With a low murr, he turns his twat toward them and lifts his tail so they can see him finger himself. Elise and the guards stand there motionless. He's enjoying his own touch so much that he almost doesn't notice Rita and Newton run past him.

He watches in awe as Rita takes the lizard guard out with a flying elbow to the face while Newton puts his hand over the ocelot guard's mouth. Newton casts a spell that causes purple bubbles to dance across the guard's face and she falls asleep almost instantly. Bert sees Elise reaching for something on her belt and grabs it before she does.

He looks at the communicator while Newton puts Elise to sleep. A loud voice comes through the communicator, scaring Bert so much that he squeaks and drops it. It falls to the floor, bouncing toward Rita, who picks it up and waits for the voice to return.

"You're surrounded. Surrender, there's nowhere for you to go anyway. Are you really so scared of me that you want to run from our duel?" Arnold's voice is hard and grating.

"Nope, I'm not running from our duel, I'm just performing the first duty of a prisoner," Rita says as shi sees guards approaching from both ends of the hallway. There have to be at least twenty of them, all carrying stun guns. If shi wants to win the duel, shi should surrender. If shi pisses these guards off, they might beat all three of them up and then shi would be in no shape to fight.

Arnold's harsh voice is tempered by confusion. "The first duty of a prisoner? They have duties?"

Rita makes a dramatic pause before saying, "The first duty of a prisoner is to escape."

Just before Arnold speaks, there's some giggling in the background. "Who says?"

It takes Rita a moment to realize that shi has no idea where that statement came from. "I don't know... pop culture? Anyway, we're surrendering now. Let us go back into our room and get dressed."

A firm "No" comes from Arnold.

Is Arnold truly insane? What does he mean, 'no?' Who in their right mind would say 'no' when they're the one that asked for the surrender? Rita's brow furrows as shi thinks about the guy on the other end. "We can't surrender?"

"No, I mean you can't get dressed." Arnold sounds completely serious.

If this isn't a joke, Arnold has totally lost his mind. Bert and Newton giggle and chuckle while Rita asks, "Seriously?"

"My men, well, my followers of all genders filled my inbox with requests that we hold the duel nude. I'd be a poor leader to not acquiesce to their request." Arnold sounds amused.

Shi imagines one of hir breasts getting cut by a sword and cringes. "Well, you see, I have a problem with that. I have six breasts and my clothing protects them from harm."

Arnold's guards seem to be holding position while they await the outcome of this conversation. "Oh, well, how about we avoid hitting each other in sensitive areas?"

That includes most of Rita's front. It doesn't seem fair. "Let's both wear clothes. I'll give your fellow pirates a good look at my assets before the match starts and they can take all the pictures they want. I'll even give them a look afterwards--if I'm still alive."

"That's acceptable. You'll be alive, I would get a lot of flack from my subjects if I killed an object of their attraction."

Newton and Bert give Rita a thumbs-up. Rita smiles. "That's relievinating. Let us grab our clothes and then we'll follow your guards to the hangar."

"I await your company in the old hangar."

Bert hugs Rita. "Yay! You'll be alive!"

"For the moment at least. Who knows, ninjas or cyborg assassins might attack while everyone's distracted by the duel." Rita runs a paw through the fur on Bert's head.

Newton straightens. "What makes you say that?"

With a big grin, Rita says, "Because ninjas are pirates' natural enemy and there are a lot of corporations that would like to destroy Arnold's operation."

They all start laughing. Bert is the first to recover. "Do you think he meant for us all to wear clothes?"

Tilting his head, Newton thinks for a moment. "I have no idea; do you want to wear clothes?"

Bert bounces. "Nope! I'll bring them along, but I don't want to wear them because these pirates seem to like my body. I never thought anyone would like it and I feel awesome when I see them staring at me."

Rita rubs hir leg on Bert's clit, getting a squeak out of him. "One night of sex and you're an exhibitionist with no inhibitions?"

"Inhibitions? What are those?" Bert says with the cutest face he can muster.

"They're, oh, I get it. Missed the sarcasm." Newton looks away from Bert's face. "Turn down the cute meter before I pounce you."

Looking at Newton, Bert grins. "Oooh! Does the horsey want to give me a ride?"

A chuckle comes from Rita as Newton shakes his head. "I should have known this would happen. We've broken his vow and unleashed his inner sex monster."

"And what an adorable sex monster it is." Picking Bert up, Rita gives Bert a deep french kiss and holds him against hir breasts. When shi smells Bert's arousal, and Newton starts fingering hir cunny from behind, shi moans. Shi lets a wave of pleasure run through hir before shi stops and sets Bert back down.

Shi has a duel to win, and getting off right before a duel tends to make hir lose hir focus. "We need to stop giving the guards a show and get to the old hangar. We can have sex to celebrate my victory."

Newton withdraws his fingers and licks them clean. "Mmm, that's a deal."

Hugging Rita tight, Bert kisses hir cheek. "Only if you let me cuddle in these breasts when we go to sleep tonight."

Rita nods. "I look forward to it." Shi walks in and grabs hir clothes while hir companions follow hir and do the same. The guards meet them at the door and escort them to the old hangar, groping them more and more as they discover that all three adventurers actually like it.

The hangar is set up with dance lights, bleachers and a large ring in the middle. It looks like the bleachers can extend from the wall for events. The giant beat-up hangar door is welded shut, which causes Rita to tilt hir head. Then shi notices that the windows in the banquet hall looked out into this old hangar. This old hangar must have originally included the space where the banquet hall is.

The hangar that Newton's ship docked in was easily twice the size of this one and it was open to space. This must be the hangar they used to use before they built the new one. Duh! That's why they call it the 'old hangar.' Rita feels really dense as shi stares at the crowd, which is watching hir and hir friends' every move.

Shi can see them switching their attention between hir, Bert, and Newton. Hir companions are making fools of themselves by posing lewdly for the crowd. Bert's movements are getting bouncier and bouncier as if he's absorbing the energy from those that are watching him or something. A sudden rush of pain causes Rita to yelp as shi stubs hir toe on a bump on the floor. Shi hops on one foot as shi tries to deal with the pain. It feels like someone went after hir toe with an ice pick.

A few deep breaths and some laughter from the audience later, shi starts walking again. It's not broken, but it's sore. Arnold seems amused by hir injury and is smiling in his own unique and creepy way. Shi wants to wipe that overconfident metallic-toothed grin off of his face. All shi has to do to temper his smugness is beat him. Hopefully, he won't play too dirty even though he's a pirate.

Walking up to the ring, shi deals with the pain coming from hir toe. By the time shi gets to the edge of the ring, shi hardly notices it. The artificial gravity causes a bit of vertigo when shi hops into the ring. It's not quite earth gravity and shi's not used to it. This might be a problem when shi faces off against this mechanized opponent...

A couple boos come from the crowd as shi gets dressed. Shi points at Newton and Bert, suggesting that the crowd ogle them if they're here for the porn. Right now, shi's here to fight and it won't be an easy one. A cyborg is nothing to be trifled with, especially if that cyborg is also a space pirate.

"Are you ready?" Arnold walks toward hir.

"Abospositively." Shi shakes his hand and he grips hard before letting go. He has two short sabers sheathed at his sides. Great, he's a two-handed fighter just like hir. The grips are made of metal, which strikes hir as odd. Metal doesn't provide a good gripping surface, it needs to be wrapped with something to absorb the shock. Maybe Arnold just relies on his advanced cyborg hands to provide a good grip and shock absorption or something. It doesn't matter that he has swords, though; hir ceramic composite sticks can stand up to any blade.

A lanky male otter, wearing a headset and stylish brown and white light-weight pirate combat armor, hops into the ring. Before shi has time to wonder why he's here, he starts announcing. "Arnold has his work cut out for him today. This busty bunny fights with two weapons just like him. Well, two sticks... against two swords... Never mind, Arnold will win this in the first thirty seconds." A lot of boos come from the crowd. "I'm just teasin'. I doubt this beautiful six-breasted warrior would be standing here if shi didn't know how to own with hir sticks. Stay after the match to see if shi's well enough to show us where shi keeps hir third stick." The crowd cheers and the announcer switches his attention to Arnold. "Will Arnold's performance be as electrifying as his last one? I have no doubt it will, but I think we all agree that we want him to spare this beauty any permanent damage." He looks Arnold in the eye. "What do you say Arnold? Will you consider our request?"

Arnold nods and the crowd yells. "Terminate hir, Weiss!" A few voices add, "carefully," just before 'Weiss.'

The otter looks at both combatants. "Okay, the rules are simple, the first KO or submission wins the match. We're pirates, so dirty tricks are encouraged!" The crowd cheers. Once the cheers die down, the announcer looks from Arnold to Rita. "Get in your corners."

Rita and Arnold do as the otter asks. Readying hirself for battle, Rita slows hir breathing and fixes hir gaze on Arnold.

"Draw your weapons!" The otter jumps out of the ring.

Arnold pulls out his swords and Rita swears that shi hears a static crackling when he grabs the second sword. Is one of his hands shorting out? Shi pulls hir sticks out of the holder on hir back and stands in a position with one out in front of hir and the other by hir side.

"Fight!" the otter says as he backs up a few more paces.

Rita barely has time to block Arnold's first blow and nearly gets cut in the shoulder. It's as if Arnold just appeared in front of hir and swung his sword. Maybe shi wasn't paying enough attention or something. Shi fails to parry his other blade, which slaps hir on the arm shi used to block the first blade.

Shi yelps and jumps backwards when shi feels electricity pour into hir body. Hir mind is fuzzy as Arnold comes in for another blow. The years of constant training pay off as hir body automatically parries both of his blades and steps between his legs. Shi continues hir motion and hir sticks push him further off balance. He lets himself fall and uses the momentum to roll into a standing position without cutting or shocking himself--he's good.

The moment he starts rolling, shi dashes in and starts hitting him all over his left side as he stands. Hir onslaught of attacks has him on the defensive. Shi leaves almost no room between hir strikes. One to his shoulder, one to his wrist when he tries to parry with his blade, one to his elbow, one to his waist, one to his bicep... On and on, hit after hit, shi falls into a blunt-trauma-delivering trance. The crowd becomes silent as the sound of hir beatdown echoes throughout the hangar.

When all of his attempts to stop hir storm of blows fail and he's about to be up against the ropes, Arnold crouches down and lunges his body toward hir, causing hir to take a step back. As shi steps back, he jumps over hir, landing ten feet away. The crowd cheers. He dashes at hir with both swords in front of his chest. Shi barely has time to dodge and almost falls over. He's way too fast on his feet. Before shi can fully regain hir balance, he plants a kick on hir shoulder and sends hir careening into the ropes.

When shi hits the ropes, pain from hir shoulder causes hir to grit hir teeth. It feels like shi fell off of a roof and onto a metal railing. Hir nanotech goes about repairing hir arm and dulls the pain as shi pushes hirself off the ropes to avoid Arnold's blades. Hir stubbed toe feels mostly better and shi feels a bit more steady. Arnold tries to hit the same shoulder with his blade, but shi parries him and manages to stand up again.

His second blade goes for hir side, but shi spins and brings one of hir sticks down on his arm and forces him to over-swing so much that he hits himself in the thigh with his own blade. Hir breasts bounce heavily when hir spin stops. Arnold's whole body shakes as he dumps electricity into himself. He cuts the power soon after he starts shocking himself, but the damage is already done.

When shi steps in, shi blocks a clumsy slash from his other blade. Then shi steps slightly to the side, drops one of hir sticks, grabs the arm that is recovering from hir block and slides hir stick in from the side across the arm and then his neck. As he fails to counter hir movements, shi bends his arm, trapping the stick between his elbow joint and his neck. Then shi pulls the hilt of the stick and uses hir leverage to bring him to the ground.

After shi steps on the wrist of his other arm, shi has him completely pinned. Shi pulls on the stick to choke him and he twitches his blade-wielding arms in a hopeless attempt to get free. With a proud grin, shi says, "Yield!"

He looks up at hir like a confused kitten, and then he suddenly forgets about hir and turns his head to the left. Shi follows his gaze and sees a pirate tangled in the ropes and bleeding to death. Looking at the rest of the hangar, Rita sees that all hell has broken loose. There are space ninjas everywhere and both of them must have been too focused on the duel to notice. The ninjas are wearing shiny white armor that has pirate blood spattered all over it. The scene is gruesome and very... awesome.

Rita gets off of Arnold and helps him to his feet. "Can me and my friends be honorary pirates?"

"What? What does that have to do with anything? We need to help them." Arnold points at the carnage outside the ring.

"I don't think it would be fair for us to interfere with an epic battle of space pirates vs space ninjas unless we're on one side or the other." Rita watches Bert, who's now fully clothed, shoot an arrow with green flames on it into a group of ninjas. A ninja catches his arrow, only to be set on fire. The green flames spread to the four ninjas around him and they all try to roll on the ground to put out the flames--it doesn't work.

Arnold raises an eyebrow and then sighs. "You and your friends are hereby honorary pirates."

"From the moment the ninjas arrived? Shi smiles at Arnold and grabs the stick shi dropped.

"Does it really matter that mu--never mind." Arnold shakes his head. "Yes, from the moment the ninjas arrived."

"Great!" Rita hops out of the ring and smacks a ninja right in the temple, causing him to stagger. Then shi hits him over the head with the hardest blow shi can muster and he falls limply to the ground.

Rita takes a moment to size-up hir foes. The ninjas seem as unique as the pirates they are fighting, despite their identical armor. They are covered from head to foot with a very resilient white composite material. On their faces, where their eyeholes should be, they have black imaging units that have lots of little lenses and holes making them look really creepy. Everything they have is either white or black. The black blades of their weapons and imaging units contrast dramatically with the rest of their outfits. Some have chains, some have ninja swords, some have sais, while others have metal claws. Just as shi starts to wonder if there are any ninjas with ranged weapons, a crossbow bolt whizzes by hir head and into the chest of a female human pirate with curly red hair.

Why would they use crossbows? Why not laser rifles? The redhead starts to shake violently as a ninja tries to cut Rita's side with a sword. Shi parries the blow, while stepping in and thrusting one of hir sticks right into the ninja's windpipe. The ninja drops her sword and grabs at her throat as she falls to the floor. When Rita looks back at the redheaded pirate, she sees that she is lying motionless on the floor. Bending down to check her pulse, Rita finds none and gently closes the eyes of the fallen pirate before standing back up. Poisoned crossbow bolts? Rita's had enough of this. Shi runs over to Bert and Newton. "We need to take out the guys with the crossbows or we're going to be on the losing side."

Newton casts a spell that causes a bunch of pale transparent yellow hexagons and pentagons to form into a twenty-foot dome around the three of them and a bunch of pirates. "Now they can't hit us for a while."

"That's a useful spell!" Rita slaps Newton on the back.

"Ow, turn off fight mode when you're going to congratulate--" Newton fires a bolt of electricity at a ninja that's behind him without even looking back. "Heh, it's not as useful as my radar spell."

Bert starts firing a barrage of arrows that explode into a painfully bright light just in front of the crossbow ninjas. "Oh, they gave us our weapons, your laser rifle is right there." Bert points at a spot next to the ring and then fires an arrow that goes through the chest of one ninja before piercing another ninja through his side. The arrow manages to make it half-way into the floor before it comes to a complete stop.

After Rita puts hir sticks back in their holders, shi dashes out of the transparent yellow dome and dives for hir laser rifle. When shi grabs it, shi jumps and then rolls back into the yellow dome. Two ninjas follow hir and shi shoots at them repeatedly only to see that hir laser is useless against their white armor. In a flash, shi gets an idea.

Shi turns hir rifle from "pulse" to "constant" and aims it at one of the first ninja's sais. The sai heats up until the hilt starts to smoke and then the ninja drops it. Shi aims at the other sai until he drops it as well. His armor has a black triangle that's pointing down inside a thick circle. The ninja behind him has only half a triangle.

Glancing around, shi sees no other ninja with the same markings as the one that had the sais. They have half triangles, full triangles, triangles in quarter or half-circles, but no whole triangles in whole circles. Shi has a bad feeling about this. Especially since the ninja with the unique marking didn't even seem to care that shi made him drop his sais.

He's only eight feet from hir by the time shi stops thinking and gets on hir feet. Both shi and the ninjas that are approaching hir get distracted when the area around the crossbow-wielding ninjas flashes brightly over and over again. Shi smiles as shi realizes that Newton is controlling one of his amazing lightning storms, causing the ninjas with the crossbows to fall to the ground in agony.

When shi looks back at the ninjas that are approaching hir, shi sees the one with the important-looking marking catch one of Bert's green fire arrows and blow it out. Another fire arrow makes it past him and sets the ninja behind him on fire. The badass ninja kicks the dying ninja away from him and runs at Rita.

Rita draws hir sticks and gets ready for him. Just before he makes it to hir, he throws a ninja star at a pirate ten feet away and hits him in the neck. This guy is serious business. When shi tries to hit this talented ninja with one of hir sticks and jab him with the other, he deflects the first one with his forearm and grabs the other.

Shi tries to pull the stick out of his hand, but he kicks hir in the gut and twists the stick out of hir hand. He now has one of hir sticks and shi hopes he doesn't know how to use it. After jumping back, he swings hir stick experimentally a few times as if he's trying to get an idea of the balance and the feel. Then he does an elaborate flurry of moves and holds one hand in front of his face with the palm facing sideways.

Bringing his hand down slowly, he falls into a classic cinematic ninja fighting stance. As shi's recovering from the coolness of his movements, shi gets into hir own stance and twirls hir stick once to show him that shi's got some flair too. Then he rushes hir and hits the back of hir hand with his stick before kicking hir knee.

Shi winces in pain and takes a step back. He matches hir movement and hits hir in the elbow. While shi winces from that hit, he hits hir ribs from the side and shi nearly drops hir guard from the pain. Switching hands, shi changes hir stance into a more defensive one. Shi waits for him to try to hit hir and blocks it by impacting his forearm with the arm guard of hir stickless hand. Then shi quickly turns hir block into a grab and pulls on his arm while driving hir stick right into the side of his neck.

His arm and body goes limp for a split second and shi uses that moment to step in and push on his neck even harder with the end of hir stick. When he swings his stick at hir, shi blocks it with hirs and hooks his leg with hir foot. Then shi lets go of his arm, and pushes with hir stick while lifting his foot off the ground.

He falls and rolls back onto his feet. Shi dashes and attacks him as he's standing up, but he parries all hir blows. When shi tries to hit him on the side of his head, he blocks and grabs hir arm the same way shi grabbed him. Is he taunting hir? shi wonders while he delivers another fierce blow to hir side.

The pain enrages hir and shi drops hir stick to grab hold of the arm that's grabbing hirs. Then shi pulls him toward hir and knees him in the stomach so hard that it makes a solid thwack sound against his armor. This quick movement causes all hir breasts to shake violently. This doesn't seem to faze the ninja at all and he smashes his head against hir chin. Shi yelps and lets go of his arm and he rolls backwards to get some distance between them.

He picks up hir other stick and chuckles. Fear swells within hir so much that hir mouth tastes metallic and shi has to force hirself to take deep breaths. Then hir foot bumps something and shi looks down for a moment. One of the ninja's sais is next to hir foot. Shi picks it up and realizes shi has no idea how to use it.

With a sai in hir hand, shi readies hirself for his next attack. When he dashes toward hir, shi suddenly gets some inspiration. Grabbing the center prong on the sai, shi throws it at his face. It hits his imaging unit and he suddenly drops hir sticks so he can take his damaged hardware off. While he's busy taking off his the imaging unit, shi runs as fast as shi can and crashes into him with hir shoulder, knocking him onto the floor.

When he lands, shi grabs the sai shi threw at him and jabs it into his neck. As he bleeds to death, shi looks around and sees that most of the fighting has stopped. There are a lot less pirates and a lot less ninjas. But there are more pirates than ninjas. Shi looks at all the ninjas that shi and hir companions killed and decides that if shi and hir friends weren't here, it would have been a draw.

Looking at Bert and Newton, shi smirks. "Let's pick off the rest of them."

Newton nods and casts a spell that causes a couple ninjas' feet to slide as if they were standing on ice. The pirates they're fighting take advantage of the situation and kill them. Rita turns the power on hir rifle all the way up and switches it to short pulse. Shi starts aiming at ninja weapons using hir rifle as a disarming machine gun. Each time hir rifle scores a hit on a weapon, a loud pop sound occurs as some of the black metal composite goes from solid to gas in one violent explosion.

Using piercing and fire arrows, Bert kills a ninja every two shots. A couple of the higher-ranked ones take four or five shots to bring down. When Bert misses a ninja and hits a pirate in the leg, he cowers in shame until Newton pats him on the back and casts a spell that immobilizes the pirate in a purple forcefield. A ninja tries to kill the fallen pirate, but his weapons just bounce off of the purple field.

A couple minutes later about one fifth of the pirates are still standing and all the ninjas are incapacitated. After looking around to make sure there are no more ninjas, Newton says, "Lets go see how Arnold's doing."

The three adventurers frown when they walk up to Arnold's body. Arnold looks like a broken cyborg voodoo doll--there's seven swords sticking out of him. When Rita sees him move his head and look at hir, shi almost screams. Skin is hanging off of his metal body, adding to the creepiness.

He gives her one of his creepy smiles and says, "Looks like both of us are still alive."

Bert screams and clings to Rita.

Newton kneels down next to Arnold. "How can you still be alive?"

"I'm mostly machine and no one pierced my brain or powercore. I hope one of the engineers is still alive so I can--" Arnold wiggles his feet and smiles wider when he sees them move. "Stand up again."

Rita yells, "Hey, are there any nerdy pirates still alive? Your leader needs some serious maintenance."

Newton, Bert, Arnold and a couple other pirates laugh. Two pirates come over and shake their heads at Arnold's condition. One of the pirates is a skinny female possum with average breasts while the other is a muscle-bound male doberman with one cybernetic arm. As they start chatting with Arnold, Rita glances at Bert and Newton and motions for them to follow hir.

When they're out of the hangar and in the banquet hall, shi says, "Let's get out of here before the pirateinator. Is back on his metallic feet. I don't want to be here if he decides our duel wasn't enough."

Newton nods and grabs an apple off of the fruit bowl on the center of the table. "We've been paid and we have our belongings back."

Bert hugs Rita. "You were awesome!" He nuzzles hir breasts through hir body armor.

"All of us were crazy awesome. I think we turned the tide of battle." Shi runs hir fingers through the fur on Bert's head enjoying the feeling of his muzzle against hir ample bosoms.

"Very true. If we hadn't been there, I think neither side would've won." Newton grabs Bert's shoulder. "Let's get out of here before you start humping Rita's leg and we end up doing it on the banquet table."

Bert looks up with big adorable eyes. "Can we?"

Looking away, Newton chuckles. "Too adorable... Must resist."

Rita laughs and shakes hir head. "Let's wait for my body get repaired by my nanotech."

"Aww, how long?" Bert frowns and lets go of Rita.

"A few hours. In that time, I want to get far far away from this superterrible asteroid." Rita walks toward the door.

Newton and Bert follow Rita. Bert starts giggling on the way to the ship. "I almost had you two, didn't I?"

Rita tries to respond, but Newton puts a finger on hir lips. "Don't encourage it or it will get stronger and eat all our cum."

"Oooh! That sounds fun!" Bert bounces.

Rita giggles and licks Newton's finger. "Who's encouraging him now?"

Newton just hangs his head and sighs before opening the door to his ship.

When they're inside his ship, Rita reads the name plaque again. "The Century Seagull... Who named this ship?" Shi tries not to giggle about the name again and barely succeeds.

"A fat bear that watched way too many parody movies. He could quote 'Scary Movie 12' verbatim and would do so to show off at parties. I'm glad he's dead." Walking toward the front of the ship, Newton runs his hand along the seams in the metallic corridor.

Walking next to Newton, Bert asks, "Was he really that bad?"

"Oh yes, he scared away one of my partners. And before you ask, I'm not talking about a sexual partner, he was just a business partner that found Harry--the fat bear--so offensive that he cut ties with me to make sure he'd never hear another one of Harry's knock-knock jokes." After sitting down in the pilot's chair, Newton starts fiddling with the navigation controls.

"Why haven't you changed the name?" Rita asks while shi thinks about where they should go next.

"Because it's registered under this name and I'd have to pay a bunch of fees to get a different name. It's also got a lot of name recognition because it's the second fastest thing in the galaxy, well, unless you count the ships Verbottor ride around in, but they don't count anyway. They don't interfere in the affairs of lesser races and you can't buy their ships."

Looking over Newton's shoulder, Bert watches Newton download an updated starmap from the pirate's database. "What's the fastest?"

"The Heart of Platinum. Betty Zipplebrix is the captain of that ship, the excommunicated leader of a small planetary coalition, and my ex-girlfriend. And before you ask, no, she didn't leave me for another man. She left me for a clone of herself. She always had an unhealthy amount of narcissism..." Newton looks off into the distance wistfully as if he's wondering if things would have been different if she wasn't so messed up.

Rita stifles a laugh as shi thinks about Newton's past. As Bert opens his mouth to say something, shi gets a very attractive idea and is too excited about it to wait for Bert to speak. "Let's go to Planet Ororo. It's not to far from here and it has nude hot-springs."

"But it's a vacation planet." Newton looks at Rita as he undocks the ship and heads out of the hangar.

A big grin forms on Rita's face. "Maybe we can find a starship captain that has a degree in archeology and get him to help us find a priceless artifact called the Tax Utit that two time-jumping aliens want. Then we can trick the time-jumping aliens into thinking it's destroyed and steal it from the captain so we can sell it to the Fernengi."

Confusion clouds Newton's face and Bert busts out laughing. Somehow, Rita manages to keep a straight face. When Bert recovers, he says, "Rita's just pulling your leg. That's based off of the plot of a ST:TNG episode. In the episode, the captain destroys the artifact and no one makes money off of it."

"Oh, I remember that episode... But seriously, what would be the point of going there?" Newton guns the sublight engines, putting some distance between them and the asteroid.

"A week there would cost less than a third of the profit from our last job even if we lived like dukes the entire time... We need to relax, can you think of a better place for that?" Rita puts a hand on Newton's shoulder.

Grabbing Newton's hand, Bert gives him puppy eyes. "Please?"

With a chuckle, Newton sets the course for planet Ororo. "Okay, you two win, but we're staying two weeks instead of just one and we'll do a job while we're down there. I owe someone a favor, a favor shi'll pay us a bit for. Probably enough to cover the trip."

"What kind of favor?" Rita asks with a slight frown, fearing that Newton is going to turn their vacation into work.

Newton smiles warmly. "Relax, it's just something I promised to do the next time I visited Ororo. We'd escort hir to visit hir enemy so that shi can try to negotiate to get hir sister's ship back."

Tilting his head, Bert asks, "Why would shi wait for something like that?"

"Because shi wanted time to grieve over hir twin sister's death. It's been three months, so I think shi'll be ready." With a shrug, Newton adds. "But, I could be wrong. If shi's not up to it, we can just find some other small job that'll pay for part or all of the vacation. The DeGrange Foundation is big on Ororo and the jobs I've done for them are always clean and legit."

The skepticism still hasn't left Rita's mind. "I'm fine with working for DeGrange, but I'm still not sure about this favor you mentioned. What happened to hir sister?"

"Hir sister tried to steal from a billionaire and accidentally touched a powerline while shi was trying to breach his security--killing hir instantly. The billionaire kept hir ship for himself as compensation for the damages hir botched job caused." Newton manipulates some 3D controls and the ship starts its FTL drive.

They all stagger a bit when the ship folds space in front of it and ramps up its engines to full speed. Nothing in the ship shakes, but their inner ears feel slight amounts of acceleration from random directions until the ship stabilizes their trajectory through space-time.

"So, is this person a thief like hir sister?" Bert takes a seat next to Newton.

"No, and you better get that thought out of your mind. Shi's an opera singer--shi hates it when people compare hir to hir sister or mention hir sister's line of work." A smirk forms on Newton's face. "Hir sister was a rather good thief. Shi stole from almost ten percent of the billionaires that have estates on Ororo and secretly gave half of what shi made to charity. If I was Ezra, I wouldn't mind people talking about what my sister did at all."

Rita leans on a bulkhead. "If shi was such a good thief, how did people know that shi did that?"

"The authorities on Ororo started investigating hir after shi was found dead at that billionaire's estate." Unbuttoning the top button on his vest, Newton leans back in his chair.

With his eyes fixed on the bulge in Newton's pants, Bert says, "Is Ezra hot?"

A chuckle comes from Newton. "I was waiting for someone to ask that. Shi's kinda hot for a slightly pudgy feathered raptor-like alien--the dinosaur, not a bird of prey--but I've never seen hir without hir clothes. When I came on to hir, shi told me that shi doesn't have sex with females or males... I think shi said something like, 'I prefer the grey area in-between sexes and I'm taken right now, anyway.'"

With a grin, Rita says, "Wow, that has to be a first. Something with a cunny turning you down."

"Yeah! I can't imagine anyone turning that cock down." Bert is still staring at Newton's groin.

Hiding his crotch with his hands, Newton glares at Bert. "Stop staring. I promise you'll get to play with my cock after we've checked into a space elevator hotel. We should be there in four or five hours."

This new concept seems to completely distract Bert. "What's that?"

Now that Bert's not staring, Newton puts his hands back at his sides, but moves his leg to hide his nether region just in case Bert starts staring again. "It's a giant elevator that rides a carbon nanotube ribbon down to the planet. On planet Ororo some of these elevators are hotels and you can spend a couple days getting an awesome view while you descend to the planet. There's a lot of restrictions about landing your ship on the surface, so I was planning on docking in space and riding an elevator down anyway. It takes longer to ride a hotel down, but I promise the view is amazing."

"That sounds very intimate." Rita slaps Newton on the shoulder. "I love the idea."

"Ow, I'm a mage, remember? I'm fit, but I'm not built like a tank." Newton rubs his shoulder.

"Oh, I keep forgetting about my augmented strength, sorry." Shi frowns, knowing shi hit him about twice as hard as shi meant to.

Moving his lips near Newton's shoulder, Bert wiggles his tail. "Want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"No, I can smell your arousal and I doubt you'd stop there. Are you in heat or something?" Newton turns his chair to move his face away from Bert.

Bert stands up and looks off into the distance. "Yeah, I think I might be going into heat. When I was a monk, I was given exhausting work and a heavy meditation regimen when I was in heat so that I wouldn't play with myself all day. It actually worked... Maybe I should meditate."

A sigh comes from Rita as Bert's scent and the thought of him being in heat converge inside hir and make hir warm all over. "That explains a lot. We probably shouldn't have sex with you while you're in heat, though. We might get you pregnant, well, unless you start taking birth control."

A deep sadness clouds Bert's face. "I can't get pregnant. The monks consider intersex people to be a defect and they sterilized me after my parents gave me to them."

"I want to go sterilize your parents and the monks now." Rita says.

Newton gives Rita a high-five. "Ditto, let's make a detour."

A squeak comes from Bert. "You're not serious!"

Shaking his head, Newton chuckles. "No, let's forget all about those fuckers... I think you've earned the right to experience a heat for what it truly is. Go into my quarters, my lube is in the top drawer on the left of my bed. Masturbate on my bed until we make it to the planet."

Bert murrs and shivers as he reaches down and rubs his clit through his clothes. "Can you start me off with a quickie? I'm sure you'll be ready to go again when we're in the hotel."

Newton shifts his leg to show that his large cock is throbbing in his pants. "I guess I'll just listen to my penis this time... Go get ready for me. I want to talk to Rita for a moment."

It takes a few seconds for Bert to stop rubbing himself. Then he giggles and dashes off to Newton's quarters.

With a smile, Newton says, "I've got nanotech birth control. How about you?"

"I don't think both of us need to be on birth control for it to work; are you that worried about having children with me?" Rita smirks.

"Well, ahh, I would need a lot of time to figure that one out. If I ever do have children, I don't want it to be random chance. I wasn't worried, I was just curious." Getting out of his chair, Newton gives Rita a kiss. "You were amazing last night, by the way."

"I agree with all of your statements and I have to say you have an uberamazing cock." Shi gropes Newton's sizeable balls and and rubs the base of his shaft until he starts panting. "Go put your horsecock to work."

Newton licks Rita's cheek before running to his quarters. Rita goes to hir quarters and lies down on hir bed. Shi leaves hir door open and soon hears cries of passion echoing throughout the ship as Newton and Bert have some very enthusiastic sex. Hir ribs are still very sore and shi's pretty tired. As shi drifts toward sleep shi hears hir friends powering toward their release. Ten minutes later, Bert has his third orgasm and Newton has his first. Their yelling wakes Rita up slightly, but the moment they're quiet again, shi falls asleep.

***Campaign pauses.**

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