FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

a christmas present for Raiku Hayabusa... for others reading this i hope you enjoy it... skipping all of the leagal stuff because who dosen't know it aready >.< XD

please mind my spelling... i cant spell if my life depended on it >.>... im gonna die...>.< XD

~~~~~~~~~~~

fresh snow on the ground... it was offically winter. i had climbed into the school bus that took me and many other students to and from school. being that of an animal, a wolf, and like so many others, i didn't wear a shirt because the fur on my body protected me from the elements. but everyone was being forced to wear pants to hide the "indecancy" from public veiw. i didn't mind... in fact i thought it added to my look. snow white fur all across my slender body, the black cargo pants just added a sharp contrast to my look, thus giving me ...well... a really good look.

as i sat in the back and rested my backpack next to me on my seat, i looked out the window, thinking about good thoughts before the depression set in for the day.

as it slowly set in, i began to remeber a friend... a very special friend. his name was barett. he was a very beautiful fox... right now... but back then... about two years ago i was still finding myself out.

it was freshmen year... and he had come out that he was gay. at the time he was my best friend... and he would still be my bestfriend... but... cancer took him from this world.. and my world.

then that memory slowly came into veiw.

***

it was winter vacation and he was over at my place. we were in my room, just finished with a game we were playing before i had stood up.

i gave a loud yawn and looked out of my window.

" so chitzkoi... what do we do now?" barret had asked me.

" i don't know, what do you have in mind?" i asked as i continued to look out of the window, seeing fresh fallen snow that looked like flour or powered sugar.

it caught me off guard, but he had stood up and wrapped his arms around my belly, hugging me from behind. at that moment i paniced, pulling out of his arms.

"woah woah woah... you know im not like that... i know you're gay... but... don't do that to me."

"i-im sorry... i just wanted to know..."

" what... if i am...?"

" yeah..."barett looked to the side and his ears laid back.

" im sorry... but i don't think i am"

***

the memory stopped and tears filled my eyes. at the time i didn't know if i was or not.

then another memory began to play in my mind.

***

it was near easter and i was at home. it was the weekend as i was doing nothing but listening my music through my surround sound. it was a sunday and my mom had come in to my room... a very deppressed look on her face.

" what is it mom, did something happen?"

i didn't notice the phone in her paw till she held it up in front of me.

" press the one button" she said as she looked away.

i pressed the button and quickly put it up to my ear.

the voice sounded like barret's mom.

"hello? if you get this message...*sniff*... please tell chitzkoi... that... barett.... has died... the time of death was at 1:38 this morning and tell him that there will be a funeral next weekend. thank you."

my eyes were wide, i began shakeing and i looked at my mom. she was still looking away when tears began falling from my eyes.

" this is a joke right?!" i said as i dropped the phone.

" no chitzkoi... she called this morning a 7:54"

i picked up the phone and looked over the information. i read the time of the call...7:54.

i died... all emotions leaveing through my tears as i cried. i had fell to my knees, histarical as i cried hard.

it was the week after, a saturday. we were in a church i never went to. i wore a whole body suit for this moment. people and furs were there, alot of them. i slowly made my way to my friend's casket. i stopped and looked down at him.

i began to shake violantly as i stared down at his dead body. tears flowed from my eyes as just stared at his body. his beautiful fur had been brushed as he layed there, lifeless. his eyes were closed and nothing moved. i reached down and ran my paw through his fur, the same feeling like before when i had ever touched him. his fur was still like silk. tears that had fallen off my cheeks and landed on his chest, matting his fur.

his mom had come up from behind me and placed her paws on my shoulders. i looked back and continued to cry.

" you know... he though of you as a lover... he was in love with you..."

" i didn't... know..."

" all the years you have been his friend, he grew more attached to you..."

" i know... i grew attached to him too..."

i saw a tear come from her left eye as she smiled." im glad he had one true friend... even when everybody hated or was scared of him for the cancer that destroyed his imune system."

" because people dont know the meaning of 'bestfriends'."

she hugged me and i hugged her back.

***

as the memory faded... i wipped my eyes because i had cried hard. ever since then i have kept to myself, never talked to anyone. i segragated myself from everybody, not wanting to start anything new with anyone. i was afraid that if i started any new relationship with anyone, it would end the same way like when i was barett's friend.

but if i could... i would die to feel barret hug me from behind... because of the years he had been gone... i fell in love with him.

junior year... two years since my bestfriend's death... i felt even more depressed than usuall. i did the normal routine as i did every day. i was just looking out of the window when someone had patted my bag.

i looked over. sitting in the seat across the asile way was a dragon. his scales were black as a cold night sky. under his muzzle was red... like blood. the red scales ran down the front side of his neck and disappered behind a leather coat. he had two white horns pointing back behind him and he had an almost a square muzzle. on top of the tip of his muzzle was a pointed bump, the shape of a curved triangle. the one behind it was the same but a bit bigger and that continued on till it reached the top of his head,which looked like spikes now in between his horns. it trailed down to the base of his neck where they got smaller and layed back down like scales before it reached his back. his eyes were a completely gold color but he had black, snake like puples. his stature was that of a body builder's, you could see from his arms and his height that he had muscle. it looked like if he were to stand up, he would be about a few inches taller than me and bang his head on the roof of the bus. his tail was that of a normal lizards, but you could see the red scales run on the underside of his tail to the tip, thus giving me the idea that the red scales were on his front side. and his wings, folded up neatly behind his back, seemed like if he streached them out, the span would reach from wall to wall on this bus.

his look though caught me off guard. through the mass and height of his body, he had the most careing face i had ever saw. they were filled with concern as he spoke to me.

" hey... you okay?"

all i did was nod in responce, but i couldn't take my eyes off him.

" no... why must people lie to themselves and to others when something is wrong on the inside? you are not okay and i know that was the wrong question to ask... so im going to ask it diffrently... what happend? why are you crying?" the dragon asked as his concern deepend on his face.

"its... a long story..." i said

" well i'm hear to listen."

i moved my backpack to my lap and watched him move to sit next to me. i told him what had happened...how barret hugged me form behind and how i didn't want anything to do with people because of my fear.

"im sorry for you loss... "

" but after all what had happened... i slowly fell in love with him..."

" you and him had that bond that a lot of people can't create because of the way they are... but you relized it too late"

" i know... "

" you say you fell slowly in love with him after his death... and he was gay... but... are you or you still unsure?"

"i-i dont know"

the dragon nodded and looked around "im guessing we're here then?"

i looked around and saw the familar building that had students all around it " yes...a-are you new here?"

the dragon nodded " yes... i moved here from japan about a week ago."

"wow..."

the bus stopped and he stood up, ducking his head from hitting the roof. he looked at me and smiled " im raiku by the way"

"chitzkoi..."

" ...see ya around then."

he padded off and i stared at my bag, lost in a moment of thought before i got up and got off the bus.

***

it was the end of the day and i went to my bus. i got on and went to the back again, sitting down and placeing my backpack next to me. i looked out of the window to see the football feild.

i heard a pat on my bag again as i looked over, the dragon with a smile on his muzzle as he looked at me.

" what luck huh? two classes together"

" y-yeah..."

" why are you so quiet?"

"i.... have my reasons..." i looked away.

raiku had lifted my back pack up and set in his lap, setting next to me.

" you'll never make any friends if you don't talk..."

" thats the point..." i said

" wha-.... oh.... yeah..." raiku looked away, seeming to remember the conversation we had earlier this morning.

i looked out the window again as the bus drove out of the school parking lot.

as the ride went on with out complaint, raiku seemed to be very hestaint on trying to start a conversation with me.

i looked at him and he seemed to grow nurvous as i looked at him.

" what is it that you want?" i asked

"question is, what do you want?"

"nothing..."

" there has got to be something."

"barett"

" i knew you would say his name..."

"so?"

" you need to let go of the past"

" no..."

" you NEED to"

" i can't..."

" what would barett say if he were to talk to you right now?"

" i don't know..."

" would he want you like this?"

i thought back and sighed "no..."

" then cheer up"

" i can't!! how can i when i relized that i loved him!"

" you have to let it go... barett wouldn't want you like this if he were alive now would he?"

"n-no..."

" then let go of the past and look forward... you still have things to do... with or with out him"

i looked at the dragon... and i hated what he had said.... but in reaility... it was the truth... but i couldn't accept it... i lost my bestfriend... my love... but it was too late when i felt love for him... and he was now gone forever... i could never have him again... so why was i still holding on to him?

" alongside time exsits fate... the barer of cruelty"

i looked at him again.

"don't let fate bring you down... everything happens for a reason"

"but... why can't i let go?"

"you are attached by emotions... overcome them and look for someone to comfort you till you feel ready to do something about it."

" i have no one"

"then look around"

" but no one wants to talk to me"

" who is talking to you right now?"

"y-you..."

"i won't give up on you... you have been diverted from you goals... and i am here to get you back on track."

" so your gonna try to comfort me?"

"well... if that is okay with you."

i looked at him, then out of the window again.

all truth... he speaks the truth... but why do i hate him for it? why can't i let go and go back to a normal life? i do need help... but i don't want to forget...

i looked at him again. " i don't want to forget."

" you can't... it has been etched in your mind throught the seires of events that have happened... you can never forget."

i looked out of the window again

i... can never forget? seires... so... he says that i can never forget... thus he can help me?

i looked back at him. "so if i can't forget... then you could help me?"

raiku nodded

i gave a very small smile "alright then..."

" great... first i need to be when you first heard the news... your room correct?"

i nodded.

" do you think i can come over to your place today?"

i nodded again." i'll tell my mom"

" great"

i looked out the window and saw my house in the distance.

" im about to get off"

" then i will see you later."

i nodded and waited for the bus to stop. i got off and headed inside.

i went straight to my room, dropping my back pack at the door and laid down on my bed. i was lost in thought as i stared at my celling.

this dragon... he wants to help me... but why? all he sees me as a lost lover... but he said that i can never forget... is that true... can i never forget him? well i hope it does help... my life is going to hell.

i looked at the wall as i turned to my right side. i closed my eyes and darkness took over my thoughts.

***

i was woken up by my mother voice.

"chitzkoi... someone is here for you... a dragon i think?"

i shifted in my bed and looked at her with half open eyes." let him in... tell him i am in here."

she nodded and left my room. i sat up and rubbed my eyes awake.

" hello again"

i looked at my door way and saw raiku standing at my door.

"come in"

he padded in and stood a few feet from me as i looked at him. " so what are you going to do?" i asked.

"what ever needs to be done"

" well go ahead and take off the jacket, make yourself at home"

he nodded and took off his jacket, exsposeing his chest.i was right, red scales covered his chest and belly, disapearing behind his pants. as i looked at his pants, i noticed a slight bulge, a light blush tainting my white fur.

" it seems i made an impression on you... cute blush"

i blushed even more..." w-what?"

" let me get this out... i am like barett... im gay"

i just looked at him.

" i know you don't have a problem with it"

" no... i don't"

"great... so let me question you to see if i can find anything to help."

i nodded and he began asking.

***

i swear, like six hours had passed when i finaly stood up and stopped him. " no more... my head hurts"

"alright" he responded

i looked out the window, snow still covering the ground. i sighed as i continued to look out window.

i felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around me in a tight embrace. at first i freaked out, but the longer the arms held me, the more i felt at ease. this feeling came over me... one i have felt before... but only once... when barett had done this to me. i closed my eyes and took it all in, leaning against the scalely figure behind me.

"this was the bonding moment you and barett had... and i just freed you from the hold that was on you."

i murred and looked up at him, this feeling of being held overwhelming me as i felt... at ease... my mind wasn't thinking as it always was... and my body was relaxed against him. for once... i felt... great.

i looked down and closed my eyes. " don't... let go... please."

" i promise."

i smiled and grinded agianst him, loveing the feeling of the dragon holding me... but yet.... my body begged for more... and it was hitting me hard.

i lossened his arms around me and turned around, my paws on his chest as i looked up at him. i could feel it now..... my body begged for him. the dragon was right... this was the bonding moment between me and barett... but this is the bonding moment between me and raiku now... and i don't know why my body craved for him so suddenly.

" i can see the lust in your eyes..." raiku said with a small smile.

i looked down and blushed hard " im sorry..."

he used his left paw and tucked his index finger under my muzzle, lifting my muzzle up to look at him.

" there is nothing wrong."

i looked into his eyes and saw trust, love, and compassion. my right paw drifted up to his cheek and caressed it, my thumb slowly going back and forth. i was shocked at this and raiku just smiled. he began to lean down and i blushed hard before our muzzles connected for a deep kiss.

i felt a shudder run through my whole body, one pulse rocking my nurves as the kiss deepend even more. my eyes had closed and i wrapped my right arm around his neck.

after what felt like forever, the kiss slowly broke. my paw was on his left shoulder as both of his arms still held me close to him.

" i think you're completely free now... how do you feel?"

"i feel abosulty wonderful... but..." my voice trailed off as i looked off to the right.

"hmmm? but what?"

" the kiss... i...i loved it...."

raiku smile as made me look at him " as did i"

i smiled and kissed him, but it was quick because raiku had looked at my clock.

"damn... i have been here for three hours... i should get back home"

i nodded, but i couldn't let go... i didn't want to let go. after a few minuits, raiku had pried my arms off him and stood at my door way.

"i'll see you tomarrow alright?"

i nodded and sat on my bed and watched him leave. i felt alone again... and... i hated it...

i laid down and looked at my wall before i closed my eyes and let sleep take over again.

***

i woke up and looked around my room as my vision adjusted to the light from my window. i sat up and streached and let out a loud yawn. i stood up and streched more, feeling good.

it had been more than three months since my encounter with the dragon. raiku seemed to be busy because of school and his parents, thus he couldn't visit me much. but when he did, we always snuggled close together as we watched a movie, played a game, or just listened to music while we talked.

over the time i was with the dragon... the more i wanted to be with him... the more my body begged for him to be close to me. i had done something like when barett had left me... i fell in love with raiku. but the more i though about, more of my resolution came to me... embrace life's grandure... its brillance... its magnificence...

if it weren't for this dragon... i would still be in myself... never being able to look forward to life... and never moveing forward. being free to do anything again was a gift from him... and im glad i could do things once again.

it was saterday and raiku had promised to come over this weeked... because i asked him to come over... for certin reasons. though he doesn't know... i have been carveing more of him lately... more than just cuddeling. i want to know if i really felt for him like i did barett... because it felt like it... and i wanted to go further because of my craveings... and... i wanted to be with him.

i had slept in my boxers, so i went and put on a pair of jeans. i padded out of my room and saw my mom hovering over the coffee pot as she poured her a cup.

" morning son"

" morning mom"

" you seem chipper this morning"

" really?"

" yeah... and it started happening after raiku started comming over"

" and? "

" well... i can see you have feelings for him."

i just looked at her."s-so?"

" well... i don't mind... but if he hurts you... i'll kill him myself"

"mom!"

"what?"

i turned and walked off as i heard he snicker behind me. i padded to the bathroom and used it, then went back into my room as i waited for raiku to come over. but i looked at the clock...11:39. it would be awhile, so i went back to sleep.

***

i slowly opened my eyes to someone shakeing me.

"chitzkoi... im here as you wanted" raiku said as he was hovering over me.

i opened my arms and begged him to come into my arms. he layed next to me after he took off his jack and exsposed his sexy chest. i scooted over and he layed next to me, pulling the blanked over us.

" mmmm... what's wrong hun... you seem nervous... i can sence it..."

"n-nothing... don't worry about it" i said as i looked at him, a slight smile on my muzzle.

he nodded... but i knew he knew something was up.

i just cuddled next to him as he wrapped his arms around me in a warm and tight embrace. i shuddered as i felt his scales on my fur... and to my surprise... i was beginning to feel my wolf hood stiffen. i just put it off in my mind and closed my eyes as i rested my forehead against his chest.

though i didn't relize it, my member was fully erect as i stayed closed to him.

"heh heh... it seems some one is enjoying themself... they won't stop pokeing my belly" raiku said.

i looked up at him and blushed hard... and i mean hard... so hard that i could feel the heat in my cheeks like they were on fire.

" awe... your so cute..."

i looked down and saw the tent in my pants, pulling my waist away from his body. "i-i-i-i..." i was so embarressed that i couldn't even speak.

he smiled as held his right paw in front of my muzzle. " just watch it" he said

i did as he said and followed it, going down to the space in between my waist and his belly under the blanket.

i began to shake, my body... my member... begging to be touched, but i froze in nevousness. i watched his paw move towards me and very gently rub the tent in my pants.

senstivity got the best of me as he touched my bulge. my body pressed agianst his and my claws dug into his shoulder scales, pleasure slowly entering my body.

" senstive... never been touched... i think..."

" n-no... "

he nodded and continued to keep on rubbing. i continued to shake... but harder than before he even touched me.

"you okay?"

"y-yeah..."

"c...can... i go further?"

i looked down and saw a tent in his pants... at least a size bigger than mine. i looked back up at him and nodded. he nodded in return and moved his paw up to my pants button. he undid it with his right paw and pulled my zipper down slowly, my boxers comming into view, and good sized bulge with it. i felt him wrap his paw around my covered member. the feeling of his well defined paw made me moan out quietly as he tried to stroke my member up and down. i was already panting and was shakeing even more.

" your.... huge...." raiku whispered in my ear...

i looked down and shook my head, trying to speak between pants and shakes "n-n-n... no... your... b-bigger..."

he stopped and lifted my head to look at him ." your shakeing like someone is going to kill you... are you sure your okay?"

"y-yes... im fine... this... was the reason... why i wanted you over this weeked..." i said as i looked to the side." i... want to be with you..."

he made me look at him as i could see the love in his eyes." i want to be with you too... since the day we met and kissed"

i smiled" if it weren't for you... i would still be mopeing around like i was dead... you gave me a second chance at my own life... and i thank you for it."

" i did nothing but help, your the one who took control again."

" i know.. but you played a major part."

" and you did the rest... im proud of you"

i finaly felt free, my emotions all comming back to me now. it was him who freed me... and i owed him for his drastic help on my life... i felt as if this burden that was set on me by my friends death was lifted... i felt light... i felt... confendent...

i smiled and nuzzled his chest. he hugged me tighter and pressed my body against his. i could feel my still erect member poke his belly. raiku giggled and looked down.

" it still seems that you need this... shall i continue?"

i looked at him and nodded. he smiled as i soon felt his paw on my member once more. i murred out as i felt calm for some odd reason, not shakeing or panting.

" well... it seems that your injoying this now and not shakeing out of your fur."

i nodded and closed my eyes. his paw was amazeing, the defenition of his paw on my member was great.

he compleatly stopped again and looked down, licking his lips."c-can i-"

" yes... you can" i said cutting him off, knowing what he wanted.

he smile and layed my on my back, shifing his body to kneel at my legs. i doubled a pillow over and rested my head on it, watching everything he did. he hooked his claw on to the elastic band of my boxers and pulled down slowly, my canid shaped member comming in to veiw. i noticed that my knot was already gorged at the base and i watched him just stare at it. he slowly brough his paw to it, running a finger along the under side of my member. i shuddered and murred, laying back as i closed my eyes. next... i felt something wet run along my member like his finger did. i knew it was his tongue, but it was so new... i was exspecting it, but it caught me off guard. i moaned out as my member pulsed againt his tongue.

"f-fuck!" i moaned out.

" dirty muzzle wolfy..." raiku said before he licked my tip.

i nodded and moaned out again, clenching the sheets gently. then all at once, all of my pleasurable feelings flooded me when i felt my tip enter his muzzle. i moved my paws to his head and removed my member from his muzzle.

he looked at me "w-whats wrong?"

i looked at him and smiled. "lets... do it together"

i watched him smiled wide as he carresed the bulge in his pants. " a-are you sure you want to-"

" yes... i think it will be great for me and you... i want... to do everything.... together..."

for once i saw the deep compasion in his eyes after i said 'together'... his face looked like it was the first time anyone had said that to him.

he caught his breath and looked at me with a almost stunned face. "r-r-r-really?"

i nodded, sitting up and takeing his head into both of my paws. " yes... hun... i want you more than anything right now...."

i was shocked when i saw a tear come out of his right eye... and they say when a tear comes out from the right eye... it was then going to be tears of happyness and joy.

it made me relize that he must of come from a horriable background or a pretty depressing life style... but he showed no signs when he was with me till now.

"are you happy?"

he looked at me like i was crazy... but smiled " yes... i am more than happy..."

" then why do you cry?"

" because... you're the first person to mean what they say"

" first person?... so you're saying you have had a boyfriend before?"

" just one... "

i nodded." what happend?"

" i... rather not talk about it"

"i understand hun..."

raiku hugged me and i hug back, closeing my eyes as he started to hum. he broke the hug and looked at me.

"d-do you... mind if we don't do anything... today?"

i nodded " i don't mind at all."

" and since when did you start saying 'hun'?"

"... just a few moments ago... i guess..."

" well it suits you..."

" a word that suits me... weird..."

"what?.. this adorable wolf i now call my mate... it sure does... " raiku said with a big smile.

i giggled, blushed, and laid down. raiku laid next to me and i rested my head on his chest as i pulled my boxers and pants back up, buttoning them. i laid with my lover and closed my eyes.

no more than a few seconds later my mom knocked on the door... that was closed. she opened the door and looked at us.

" hey chitzkoi... ummmm... "

" yes mother?" i asked as i raised my head off of raiku's chest.

" i knew it... ANYWAYS... i was going to ask what you wanted for dinner..."

" you know my anwser... anything will do"

she nodded and turned, only to look back at us. " your boyfriend there can stay for dinner too."

i smiled " cool."

she padded off and i looked up at raiku. " so how about it?"

" i dread the conversation your mom MIGHT start..."

" awe... it won't be that bad... i hope."

raiku chuckled and kissed the tip of my nose. i blushed a bit and kissed his cheek in return. he pulled me on top of him, me sitting on his belly now as he reached up and caressed my head in his paws. i instinctivly leaned down, and our muzzles connected. at first it was soft then it deepend over time, our tongues danceing together.

as the kiss broke apart i looked at the dragon below me. i laid on him, grinding my body against him. i looked out the door of my room and felt raiku wrap his arms around me, one paw on my upper back, the other on the back of my head as i laid on top of him.

i was lost in thought, thinking about what might happen in the future. but in reality, i was only worried about being in this dragon's arms.... the one who freed me from my emotional suffering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

they say you know when your in love when you understand the on you are with... an i know that fact first hand...

anyways... im open to comments, thoughts and requests now... so let me know if and when you want a story done =^.^=