The Hanging Academy -- Part 1
This is the start of a long story, and I need somebody to look it over for errors. I started with a story somebody else wrote, with human, mostly female characters. I rewrote it as a furry story, with mostly male characters.
Also, when you write a story where all the characters are the same sex you sometimes get into some awkward grammar. With opposite-sex characters you can use "he" and "she" to distinguish. the original tells only what the main character sees/does (except for the epilogue), so I also changed it to be first-person. Then a lot of scenes can be "I" and "he". So the main character's name, Wynn, should not occur outside of quotation marks, never in descriptive text.
Story codes: M/M, furry, cons, hanging, snuff, slow Warning, it's 400,000 words long (in 7 sections).
If anybody is willing to either detail-edit or read it and comment on whether the overall story works (and especially whether my alternate ending is believable), please write me, [email protected]
THE HANGING ACADEMY - Part 1: Marshall
by Cardaniel and Damien
Pledge recited by school students each morning
We pledge, as individuals and as a society, to allow each person, predator or prey, to make their own choice between freedom and slavery and to allow prey to choose the time and manner of their conversion to fur.
Sigh. I just noticed that my formatting is way too complex for sofurry to handle.
I've moved parts 1 and 2 of this story to http://www.nyx.net/~anon3a9c/nfair/damien/hgacad/
The "biology textbook excerpt" is now at http://www.nyx.net/~anon3a9c/nfair/damien/hgacad/bio.htm
Sorry for the inconvenience, but this story really needs the full power of html, not just the limited formatting provided by this BBS.
As always, comments are requested. Pretty please?