Until Death - Jump
Until Death
Following the sirens and the sounds of a large crowd screaming "Don't Jump" and "You're too young" I found myself look towards the top of a ten story skyscraper. There stood a pure white feline, blindfolded standing on the edge, eyes looking at the horizon but not seeing.
Thunder rolled from the black clouds overhead highlighting him with intensity making his tears visible even from the ground. Behind me some were saying he was waiting for the right sound to jump, other were saying he was waiting for the rain to start so that would be all that he heard.
I wasn't about to find out and found myself running up the stairway of the building shoving my way past police officers and employees. One officer gave me the "Area is off limits" but by time it had come out of his mouth I was a story above him.
On the entire way up I felt this dread that I would make it just in time to see him jump, to watch him end his life, to take it out of my grasp. I moved as fast as I could skipping 3 or 4 steps at a time just to cut precious seconds of the clock.
I made my way to the roof door where a squad of five police officers was trying to bust the door open with a ram. I yelled at them to move and the complied as I ran full speed into the door with my shoulder breaking it off its hinges and frame.
The pain did not stop me however, and I ran the additional 10 yards to him and put my paw inside of his, rain already pouring down on us. For a moment he did not move or even grasp paw with his. Instead he continued to watch the horizon through his blindfold as if studying the feelings of the planet, the universe itself.
After getting no reaction from him I simply said "Please Don't Jump. Please Don't Do it, For Me".
Again he seemed to have no reaction to my existence, and he took another step forward pulling me with him.
"I won't let you!" I screamed pulling him back with no avail. He was not bigger than me but determination has strength of its own. "I'll hold you up if I have to Damn it! You won't make it to the ground without me!"
He stopped and stood still, no other physical reaction present. I didn't even feel his pulse change from the calm steady flow that it was, as if he had given up completely. He did manage a very strong and authoritative "Why?" There was no emotion behind it, no pain, just a question he wanted an answer too
I felt my face go still as I thought of some reason of one should not kill themselves, but it was all the shit that teachers and councilors taught to try to make us see the error of doing so, shit that he had already heard.
"Look I can't answer that question for you, you know why you shouldn't and me repeating that information would be useless." I said honestly feeling the pit of anxiety in my stomach deepen.
He yanked is paw out of mine and turned to face me, tears clearly viable in his fur. "I work a minimum wage job, with no friends, no date, no real family, no real home. I have nothing I can call me own, No one to make me feel good or needed. I'm tired of living in my breaking old house with my depressed mother and dealing with my asshole of a dad. I've been the therapy, psychologists, but even they couldn't help, and I wouldn't let them" he yelled back at me with enough force for me to flatten my ears against my head. His voice was broken, and his words held the force of a soul that had been broken to many times to piece back together without help.
"If you jump I'll jump with you" I said with courage, and it was true and meaningful.
He looked back at the horizon, low rumbling thunder getting closer and lighting bouncing from one cloud to another, hitting the earth somewhere in the distance. As a gust of wind blew over the building he looked back at me, his ears against his head. "This will be my last chance at living, and I have nowhere to go. Are you willing to take care of me? Is your family willing to put up with a broken cat? I'm not going back to my family, I want them to think I'm dead, and it is probably better off that way."
I said yes without thinking about it, just that I wasn't going to let him jump on my watch, and that was when for the first time I felt him put is paw into mine. He mumbled something inaudible, and whether it was an insult or a compliment I didn't dare want to ask at the moment.
I pulled him close to me and reached around his head to undo his blindfold. What I found behind it were two very hurt, but large beautiful blue eyes that were still letting down storm of their own. The next thing I knew I was being pulled into a hug but I could feel him weeping heavily thought my chest. He pulled back and looked down at the ground as if to say something more, but he gave up and nuzzled my scruff.
We sat on top of the building and watched as the storm went passed; carrying the negative emotions it brought along with it back to where they belonged. For the longest time he would not look at me and go from watching to sky to resting his head in my chest. Although it was I felt a little weird holding on to another male that was the same age of me, I let it slip because I had just saved a life, and that was all that mattered at the moment.
It must have been two hours before he got up and said he was ready to leave, tossing in as a joke of "not by jumping this time" in there to try to cheer the mood up. I chuckled though finding it in poor taste, but I knew he wanted attention and if it kept his mind off ending his life he could have it.
As we descended the stairway I now had to find a way to let my parents allow him to stay for awhile without making it seem weird or suspicious. I figured saying "I saved this cat's life" would bring up question not needing to be answered at the moment. I did however need a way of convincing them that he would be staying a while and would need our help.
The janitor of the building let us out as if he was expecting us, and didn't even offer a word. When we were out the door he simply locked it up again and continued mopping the fake ceramic floor. I pulled out my phone finding it was dead and had no idea what time it was. Storms always have that effect of making it seem later than it was, and making time hard to tell by looking at the sky.
"It's 9" the cat simply offered neither looking at the sky or me
"How do you figure" I asked back out of curiosity.
He looked at the sky as if proving his point, but merely offered "When you have been out as much as me, it doesn't matter the season or whether, you just know."
I made a mental note of the statement to ask about acquiring that skill later but I figured asking now would not be so good. As we made our way to my car parked some 2 blocks down by the coffee shop, he put his arm around my shoulders and learned into me. Again I felt awkward but didn't say anything for the sake of his mental state and let it be.
My car wasn't, or wouldn't been worth noting if it wasn't so damn good and being what it wasn't supposed to be. It was in essence a VXR Touring Station Wagon, but over its 10 year life span the suspension has somehow worn to the point of being a bit sporty even though it weighs 2.5 tons. Needless to say it was fun going down old roads and taking fast corners. But it was aging so I was careful with it, and it worked even though it was beginning to rust on all the exposed metals and half the electronics didn't work.
"Nice car for someone your age" he commented flatly, neither an insult nor a comment. It was just a plane statement
"Yeah, well I used to have a Utah Pick-Up, but the front frame fell of going 25 and I literally grinded to a halt. This was given to me when my mom her convertible."
He simply smiled and opened the passenger door for himself and got in. I followed suit, started the car and made my way home, still thinking about what to say about this cat once I got there.
"So... you never told me your name. All I know about you is that you are a caring Panther who saved me from killing myself. Is that a cat thing save one another?"
I laughed a bit and answered him back knowing it was a serious question. "Koaden, and I'm not considered a cat".
"I know that silly" he replied with a smile on his face, the first one I've seen since I saved him, and it seemed genuine. "You can call me Tex for now. I'll tell you my real name later."