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Nocti's journal. I... awakened from my terror-filled nightmare to find Master using my mask's opening as a urinal again. I quickly gulped down what felt like three massive mouthfuls of piss before he was finally relieved. I found out shortly after that, throughout the night, other pets had been using mine and Alex's tailholes in the same way, though he said that only he, Alex and Len would be allowed to take my mouth for such uses.

He left me in a small room just off of the living area for four hours with my arms and legs bound tightly to my body, and my mask blocking out all sound and sight. I was alone for that time, aside from the occasional pet who came in and used my ass to relieve themselves, be it their bladder or their balls. Even now, my hole still hurts too badly to sit, and it's gaping wide. Granted, I didn't think that Zebstrika would use me quite so much...

Master is getting a new card he ordered for me, Len is upstairs with Vega, and Alex is here with me, albeit tied up in bitch sleeves and in full sensory deprivation. I don't think his ass has recovered from my... use. I guess that's all for now. End entry.

__________

I looked around, giving a sigh. Master had put me back in my own bitch sleeves, but left my mask off. Didn't matter much anyway, as I didn't have anyone to talk to. I almost wanted to put it back on myself.

With a nawing need for sex setting in my mind, I approached Alex's rear end, touching my nose to his still-red entryway. I could hear a soft, muffled whimper coming from him. «Dammit. Nocti can't help it. Too much...» I gave his swollen hole several licks, causing him to moan out in pleasure. That wasn't muffled at all, though. I guessed it was a vocal thing.

After teasing him for a few more moments with my tongue, I noticed that I myself was rock hard. However, I had no desire to mount my brother. I wanted something more. Wondering how long it might take for Master to return, I sent him a message telling him of my problem. He responded with something I didn't expect. My urges returned with vengeance, and I could feel an ache between my legs. My balls were growing... and growing... and growing... Within seconds, I had a pair of softballs hanging just behind my cock, and they ached as if I hadn't came in months.

Looking again at Alex's tight red ass, I started licking again, lubing him liberally with my tongue before climbing up on his back and ramming my shaft into him again. Before I could lean down and sink my fangs into his shoulder again, my mask returned. I gave a constant muffled growl, and was unable to see or hear anything else. However, I could feel him quivering and squirming below me like a vibrator on high, and that just made me more and more horny. Once again, I kept slamming my cock into him hard enough to push him forward a little at a time, up until my knot had swollen. After making sure I was trapped inside of him, I gave a slight heavy growl against my gag and let loose a massive torrent of seed. His squirming continued, and my cum kept filling him until some was forced out around my sheath.

My mask's lenses were opened, and I looked down at my brother. He was whimpering and yelping at my slightest move, and trembling so hard that the puddle of my seed that he was lying in started to form ripples. «This is Nocti's curse as well. He is trembling inside, unable to fight against his Master's wishes even at a distance. Remember that.»

With my needs subsided, my balls returned to their normal size, and I slid off of Alex into the puddle. I was shaking just as hard as he was. The emptiness... Every time Master took over my body, I could feel it growing. I hurt... in ways I never knew I could. I wanted it to stop... For what seemed like hours, I was unable to move. I didn't want to move.

«Is Nocti truly beginning to see just how helpless he is?» Master said, speaking into what was left of my heart. «He would be wise to understand that this is nothing compared to what he originally dreamed of. Servitude, even in happiness, leaves one truly empty. At least with Nemi, Nocti's emptiness can be filled.»

I couldn't even being myself to wonder what he meant. I felt like I had lost all of my energy, unable to do nothing more that stare at the curtain to the room outside. My mind didn't want to work at all. Everything was hazy.

«Good. Just a bit more, and Nocti will be able to truly open his eyes.» After this, only darkness.

__________

I don't think I truly awakened for a long time after that. There were brief flashes of consciousness, though. First, I was Ceti, sitting down with Master and cuddling him as the real Ceti would. Then I was Auva, moments before being popped. Then Vega, cuddling Master and making him mine once again. Then Rezi, and Alex, and Len... One by one, I had brief moments of being each of the different pets in the New Deep Labs.

When I did finally come to, I was in my inuboy form, naked and being cuddled by Master. I couldn't think. I just sat there, basking in his warmth and love. I heard no words. I felt no pain. I was just... there.

«Welcome back, pet.» Pet? Not Nocti? «Well, tell Nemi. Who is Nocti? Who is he really? Don't think to hard about it, though. Pet won't see who Nocti really is if he does.»

I started letting my mind wander. It hurt to think, but I was remembering... something. Something I didn't want to remember. I felt something lash into my sides, clawing into my body. Then whips across my back, and teeth in my shoulder. I screamed out, then whimpering softly. Back then... I didn't want to remember that time.

Back when I was a pup, my father used to always beat me for stepping out of line. He'd sink his claws into me, or hit me with a Tauros whip, or even bite me. If I wasn't perfect like him, he'd hurt me. Kevan... Mom said he was like this after losing his first mate, a Marowak named Maria, during her laying period. There were twins, but only I survived. Because of that... Because of that, he hated me.

I could feel Master holding me tightly, trying to calm me down. «Nemi knows all of this. But who is Nocti. Try to remember.»

I thought back again, hearing Fallon's voice as I entered the Rescue Academy for the first time. Then I felt his abuse, which I came to enjoy back then. Being suddenly pulled into a shower and claimed by him and his friends. Being made into a worthless mound of sobbing flesh. I loved it, but yet... I feared him. I was absolutely terrified of him. Of course, Ally terrified me more, but once Marcus came to my aid that first time, I... I forgot everything.

«Pet is getting closer. He's seeing problems in his own story. There's still more, though. He will find the answer to Nemi's question.»

Back then... I buried myself in books. People hated me, and I hated being around normal people. I would always read stories of rescuers who explored the world. That's my curious side took over... Wasn't it? N-no, that... That came later, after Reaver helped get me into exploration. I wanted to learn everything about everything. I wanted to be just... like my dad? No, that can't be right.

No. I became curious... to stop the pain. Between summers at home and having only Marcus as a friend, I had no one. I would always try to fill that void with knowledge. Ally... He always tried to hurt me and Marcus in some way, so I tried to be... what he wanted me to be. I was weak-willed back then, so his words would always cut me deep. Then Marcus started to help me get stronger and fight back. I knew I wasn't really strong. Most of that was him, helping me along.

«Nocti... Who is he?» Master's voice became much clearer than ever before. «Nocti... is a scared pup who never learned to live for himself. He's always felt empty, using parts of other people's personalities to fill in his own. Strength and confidence from Marcus, curiosity from Reaver, his dream of becoming a rescuer from Ally... He always knew terror. It was all he really knew. That's why he always tried to bury it. Always tried to hide behind everything else.»

I started crying, burying my head into Master's chest. I felt... like I was just destroyed inside and out. I felt worse than even when I lost control. I felt like I had just been caught lying to the world, and was now awaiting my punishment. But even then, I felt relieved. Relieved to know what I am... I'm worthless and empty, nothing more than someone else's plaything. I always had been. But now... Now I felt good to be that way. Good to be nothing more than some tool. Why? Because of him.

"Master... Thank you." My voice was scratchy, but it felt so good to say those words. All the hell I'd been put through by him, all the humiliation and pain, were for this. I could tell. But...

«Why? Because Nemi knows that Nocti, the real Nocti, is better than the fake he put up to defend himself.» He began petting along my head, and I couldn't help but melt in his hands. «Nemi knows, because Nocti is the same as himself. Nothing more than a terrified kitten. Mastress had to teach Nemi to use his fear in a good way. Nocti will soon be the same, though for another reason.»

I looked up at him, unsure of what to think. His smile seemed to make me stop caring about the world itself, but he still seemed worried. He raised a hand into the air, and in it materialized something that made me stare in awe. It was a set of the god masks: Zekrom, Reshiram, and Kyurem.

«Nocti, what Nemi is about to ask will seem strange, but it's for Nocti's own good. Let Nemi take Buster. Or rather, let Buster come to Nemi.» My eyes went wide, realizing what that would mean. I'd have to control every... «Nocti shouldn't over-think things. He will be fine. Nemi needs Buster to keep a close eye on his pet when he's busy.»

I nodded. Buster said goodbye, and in the oddest thing I had seen at the time, my heads-up display stated "Nocti traded Buster to Nemi. Nemi traded God Masks to Nocti." That was...

«Exactly like what Nocti would have seen in a Pokemon trade?» Master started to chuckle. «That was Altair's idea. Shi likes putting those in. Calls them 'Easter Eggs'. Not sure what 'easter' means, though.»

I settled myself into his lap, still wiping away tears, but he gave me a strangely stern look. It was one of deep concern. «Nocti now has more control over his god forms, but there is one more thing he must learn before he can truly be free of their danger. Nemi will show him tomorrow, now that Nocti isn't so lost is thought. He just needs to remember to keep his mind clear, and focus himself.»

I nodded softly. As I lay there, I felt as if something were approaching me, so I quickly moved out of the way and turned towards the presence. It was Len, inches away from grabbing my legs had I stayed where I was. I'd never done that before, just moving on instinct.

«Does Nocti see how much better it is to stop thinking so hard? He should let go of his training. Start relying on his instincts.» I saw Master look over his shoulder towards the shame wall. There, tied up with a very distant look in his eyes, was Alex. «Nemi isn't allowed to break Nocti to the point he feralizes, but Nemi thinks it would still be a good skill to learn. He could use his hypnosis, but only if Mistress allows him, and only Nocti can request such a thing. It would be a whole day of training, though.»

Feralization... The thought of that made me shudder, even if Master did have a point that I didn't understand yet. When a morph undergoes feralization, they lose their ability to think like an intelligent being. They can't understand speech or complex concepts, just their instincts. They live only by their instincts.

«Len and Nemi once feralized, as did every pet Nemi has trained for Mistress.» This caused me to look at both of them with wide eyes. «It's why they typically walk on all fours, and almost never speak. Nemi learned a lot about the mind from tapping into his feral side, and Len became stronger than even Centauri when fighting.»

This was something... No! No thinking about it. «Nocti will request permission from Vega once he can.»

Master smiled at me, then did the last thing I expected. He pulled me up to his height and gave me a kiss. Not the humanoid kiss, but a lick along my left cheek. I blushed instantly. «Seems Nocti knows some things about ferals. Nemi is happy to know this. Now it's Nocti's turn.» Len's smirk made me blush so bright that I'm pretty sure nothing to hide it. Steeling myself, I leaned up to Master's face and gave him a long lick along his right cheek. It was... oddly arousing. «Good pet.»

He looked up at Len, who gave a stiff nod and left. «When Nocti's mind shattered, he was unconscious for about a month. During that, his Copycat powers took over, turning him into different forms.»

I gave an audible whimper. «A... month? Nocti saw some of it, but he didn't think it was that long.»

«Unfortunately, it was. Not much changed, but Nocti should go and talk with Ceti and Auva. Marcus is in a meeting with Mistress, so Nocti will have to wait on that.» He seemed to smirk a bit, then reached up and wrapped a paw around the center ring of my collar. It glowed for a moment, even as he removed the paw, revealing a new tag. It was in the shape of a kobon charm, and said "Nocti - Property of Nemi". «Nocti is now truly Nemi's pet. He knows Nocti was secretly wanting to ask for permanent pethood. Buster told him.»

It was true. In one of my secret journals after my welcoming, I said I wouldn't mind belonging to him for good. It was something about him that I just admired. Now I know why, though. It's his truly caring nature. He doesn't try to protect me, but rather helps me cope.

Master once again gave me a kiss, then helped me up onto my feet. Oddly, I almost fell off balance at first, causing him to giggle. «Nemi does have some rules. Nocti isn't allowed to wear clothes unless Nemi says so, isn't allowed to use furniture without permission, and must come if Nemi calls. When speaking with the Starlight members, Nocti will use first person. Finally, Nocti cannot bring anyone to the New Deep Labs unless they wish to become a pet. That is all for now.» I smiled and nodded, then started walking, but stopped.

«What Master said to Nocti before all of this... He thinks he understands now. He isn't ready to be a rescuer. Not yet.» Master nodded, looking me in the eyes. «Nocti will request to be put on Reserve until he's ready.»

«Nemi is happy that Nocti is beginning to look at his flaws. Nocti would be wise to give himself some time to learn.» He got up and walked ahead of me. «Come. Nemi will go with him to put his friends' worries to rest.»

After going up the first flight of stairs, Nemi took me through a secret door to a second set that lead to Sky Blue. As we walked towards the Dawnfall quarters, I could see the Auva, Ceti, Altair and Azureh standing just inside of Operations. With them was an adult Totodile I could recognize anywhere. At six feet tall with a semi-muscular build, but otherwise typical markings, it could only be one person: Mari Tomari, Ally Tomari's wife. I sighed, but pressed on behind Master, trying not to let her presence get to me.

---

Nocti's journal addendum. Master and I explained my situation to everyone, and later to Marcus when he showed up. Surprisingly, Marcus admitted that he was the one who tried to get Vega to claim me after he refused. Vega actually refused as well, but wanted to tease me until I was more comfortable with my sexual side. Master, however, had been asked by a god to take me in and make me realize my flaws, no matter the cost. He had already had his eyes on me from arrival, but when Vega brought it up, he seemed to blush... as if embarrassed. Altair granted me Reserve status, and made Mari into the leader of Dawnfall until I'm ready.

Mari... She left her husband of twenty years after having had enough of his abusive and bullying nature. She came here to just be herself. I never knew it, but she's actually very sexual in private. In her own words, Ally and her family were "too stuck up for their own good". I have to say, she's a lot more like us at Breakwater Hideaway than I thought she would be. Master has me staying with her for tonight, mostly to get to know her better. What's slightly worrying, though, is that she has a thing for both catboys and dogboys, which I found out the hard way after Master bolted from the meeting room. Turns out, "neko" means cat and "inu" means dog, and her love of them seems to involve carrying me off into some personal quarters and getting me into a "domesticated puppy" mindeset. We'll see how this goes... I hope...

(End of Falling Apart)