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As I approached the glass door, memories from months of pain, depression and suffering flashed through my mind like a very horrifying movie. Scenes of how my heart shattered, just because of a single word, kept replaying in my mind. A cold chill passed through my chest as the scenes drifted; my very core shook from the cold and it felt hollow and shriveled. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I glanced upon the placard placed on the door and I sighed as I entered the guidance office.

I pushed the glass door and soon I found myself in a small, silent hallway. The dull grey walls made everything look gloomy and depressing. I walked silently toward the end of the hall, to my guidance counselor's office. As I reached my counselor's office, I took a deep breath and knocked softly. Seconds passed and I thought she didn't hear me. I was about to knock again but the gears of the knob shifted and the door opened abruptly. The scent of honey wafted through me as the door opened. Then, I was greeted by a cheerful, grown woman in a green top and blue jeans. She smelled exactly like the room. Her almond eyes, bright and sincere. She smiled and greeted, "Oh, why hello, Jake! It's nice to see you!"

"Hi, Ms. Daphne..." I said weak-heartedly.

She sensed the sadness in my voice and asked, "What seems to be the problem? Oh, but first come in!"

She ushered me in. The yellow walls seemed to be too happy for my taste. A coo-coo clock hung at one side of the room, whilst at the other was a poster saying, 'Don't worry, be happy' which hung opposite the clock. A window, covered with a white veil of curtains, faced the entrance of the room. A wooden desk was tucked into the corner of the room with a rotating chair behind it. At the side of the desk was a small vase that contained a white honeysuckle flower. A small, wooden side table was next to the desk. There was also a plump, brown couch that sat at the corner of the room. A tiny bunny plush toy sat at one end of the couch along with several throw pillows. I took a seat at the couch and Ms. Daphne sat at the rotating chair opposite of me. She asked, her voice full of concern, "What's wrong, Jake?"

I choked. I didn't know what to say, all I had in me was just pain and anguish. I was overwhelmed by my feelings; I clenched my fists on my pants, my eyes started tearing up, the hurt in my chest became unbearable. I just broke down at that very spot. Tears were trickling down my face as all those memories and emotions washed over me like a tidal wave. I cried my heart out and let every teardrop flow out of me. I sobbed for minutes on end, I barely even noticed Ms. Daphne sit beside me and rubbing my back.

As soon as the tears stopped flowing, I sniffled and said, "I... I'm severely depressed."

She gently wrapped her arms around me.

It was a thoughtful gesture; it made me feel slightly better. Her hug was warm and soft. The scent of strawberries and honey that she was emitting lifted my mood a bit. My anguish died down somewhat but majority of it is still present. I murmured, "Thanks. I still don't feel much better though..."

"It's alright. Hugs take away some pain away. It helps in the process." She smiled comfortingly, "Now, tell me everything."

I broke into tears once more as I told her everything; from how I met this person who stole my heart, and how it was broken by the same one. We met during sophomore year and we were classmates. I didn't really pay much attention before but then that person caught my eye in our class movie project. Ever since then, my sight always has a way of falling on that person. During our sports event practices, that person and I got closer and eventually became friends. We enjoyed each other's company whenever we were together in the classroom. Soon, our recollection came and I got the courage to reveal my secret to that person. It's not how I confessed my feelings to the person, it's something entirely different. And I am not willing to leak it just yet. The day after, we had our outreach. Although, we weren't outreach partners, we had a delightful time together; we played games with the kids in the orphanage. At the end of that day, I believed that we became closer. I also recall that one day, I brought cupcakes for that person but unfortunately that person got ill in the middle of the day and had to go home. I got so worried about it that I had to go online and ask that person how they felt. That person was fine but that person couldn't attend school for several days. Days passed and I kept on asking how that person felt. Fortunately, they got better. Soon, we had our school fair. It was fun except that was the time everything started going downhill. I couldn't help but keep looking at that person all the time. That person knew I kept looking then approached me and asked, "Do you like me?" It was so out of the blue. I was completely unprepared and shocked by the sudden question. I didn't know what to do, my heart raced as I thought of a way out of it but I couldn't find a solution. Although deep in my heart this might be one of those situations where the person of your dreams asks you the big question and turns out they like you back. Unfortunately, this is not one of those situations. I couldn't lie, it would hurt me more to lie to the person I love. I said yes. That was the biggest mistake of my life. My heart was easily broken by these few words, "I'm sorry but let's just be friends and maybe leave it as classmates..."

Classmates? Just friends? Bit by bit, pieces of my heart were chipped off by every single word. I felt so empty, so hollow, so... heartbroken. This is the hardest part for me to tell. I broke down again and started sobbing.

Ms. Daphne folded her arms around me again. The emotional uplift was what I needed at the moment. It gave me the strength to continue my story.

That person explained that that person wasn't the one. Although, I had a gut feeling that that person was the one. I had a good feeling, no. I knew that that person is, well, was, now that all my chances are gone. That person just left me there, broken. My anguish didn't end there. Weeks passed and I felt avoided by that person. I tried talking to that person again but the conversation was unproductive and uneventful. Little by little pieces of my heart slowly broke away as the days passed and each moment brought cold aches to my chest. All the activities I did seemed to get spoiled every time I think or see that person. Thus, I would always remember that day until now. It may not seem serious or troubling to you but to me it did.

"And that's how it all started" I said as a tear traced down my face.

She paused as if to think of what to say instead of hugging me again, "Jake, why didn't you come to me sooner? I would have been able to help."

"I thought I could handle it. And maybe, I could just forget about it and move on but..." I said.

"You haven't." She completed my sentence.

"I am at the point of feeling that there is no hope. I feel like I want to go away, forever." I said painfully.

"Don't give up hope Jake. You can never forget a heart break but with more time and someone to fill that hole, you can--"

"There is no one I could ever possibly love, other than..." I didn't want to utter the name. It was too painful.

"Alright, there is a way on how you might be able to mend this." She said.

I leaned in closer in anticipation, "Let me warn you though, this might make things worse."

I froze on those four words; Might make things worse. It might turn my world right side up or it might plunge deeper into despair. It was my call. The option was tempting, that it seems like a dream too good to be true. But it might be a trap; it might make my situation worse. This is just like the time when I was asked that horrid question. Doubts were creeping up my spine as well as hope. Hope and doubt. Those were the primary feelings I had that time. Now it was being presented to me again to save or possibly destroy me from the inside out. This bold move will define what will be in store for me in the near future. I have to risk it. Otherwise, how else will I get rid of this depression? I may be blind by my desire at the moment but this is something worth risking. This might be my last chance.

I gulped, "I'll do it."

She paused for what seemed like eternity then she carefully said, "You should voice your feelings. That way, you'll be understood."

I thought for a moment. The last time that happened, it didn't go so well. I still don't know about now. "Alright, thanks Ms. Daphne. I have to go now; I might be late for my next class."

"Bye now! Take care of yourself!"

I stood up off the couch and started off to the door. On my way there, I accidentally knocked over the flower vase. The vase fell slowly; it's as if it was in slow motion. The red vase shattered into millions of tiny pieces as it crashed to the floor.

I apologized relentlessly after that but she waved it off and said, "It's fine, you should head to your next class. You wouldn't want to be late. I'll be the one to clean it up."

I nodded and walked to the door. As I took one more glance at the broken vase, I saw two broken pieces of ceramic that had a heart print on it. It was only then when I noticed that the honeysuckle had wilted. As I opened the door, cold harsh air engulfed me and sent a chill through my chest and down my spine. I heard a faint whisper coming from Ms. Daphne as I closed the door, "My, my, what a shame."

I had this ominous and worried feeling as I treaded to the classroom. One way or another, my life is going to change, again.

The rest of the day zipped by quickly without me even noticing it. Soon, I was back at home trying to find out how I am going to do this. I had to keep it simple.

I texted the one who broke my heart saying, "Can you meet me at the fountain in the park?"

The reply was, "Ok. What's it for?"

"I need to tell you something."

"Oh... Ok. I need to tell you something, too. Meet you there."

I wrote down what I was going to say in a piece of paper, just in case I forget. My heart started racing and the doubts crept into my mind. What if things will go wrong? What if I'll be hated? What if? No. I shouldn't think about it. Whatever happens happens.

I quickly changed my outfit to something casual yet classy at the same time; a black velvet vest over a white top and a pair of black jeans. I briskly walked out of the house and into the park which was three blocks away. I had nothing in my mind except for the events that happened today; the consultation, the shattered vase and the text.

After I arrived at the park, I sat down by the fountain and waited. For several moments I was anxious. I ran different scenarios on how that person will act later on and nothing seemed hopeful except that slight glimmer of hope. I begged whoever mighty deity up there in the big night sky to grant me this wish, the wish to mend my heart and maybe actually be happy again.

Ten minutes have passed and there was still no sign. Maybe that person won't show up. But when I thought of calling, that person arrived.

"Hey."

My eyes widened in surprise, "You made it! I didn't think..."

"I would show up? Well, I'm here now. So... what did you want to tell me?"

I gulped and murmured, "Here goes... everything."

I told my story, everything that happened, the pain and suffering, and the little chance of hope. I poured my heart and soul into every word I said. My heart raced as the words spilled from my mouth. When I was done, there was a long silence. It was almost unbearable, it felt like an eternity. I don't know what will happen next, will my wish be granted? Or not?

"I'm sorry, Jake but..."

Oh no, I said in my mind. But. There is a but. A chill ran through my chest and it slowly was killing me inside.

"Well, I knew that you were heartbroken. That's why I chose to get some distance from you. I thought that you would forget about it but you didn't."

A part of my soul slowly ebbed away into oblivion. I was on the verge of tears, again but all my tears have dried up. I wanted to break down right then and there, crumple myself into a ball and just lie there and die.

"I have never intended to break your heart it's just that you're not the one for me."

But I thought you were the one for me. I thought you would be there. I thought there would be hope.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I truly am. What I wanted to tell you is that..."

It's come to this then. I braced myself. This was the end.

"...we can't be friends anymore."

I felt like I was stabbed, right through the heart. Coldness enveloped me as if I were a corpse. My heart almost seemed to stop. My brain couldn't process anything anymore. Dark clouds of gloominess and hurt shrouded my rationality.

"I want to forget you. I want you to forget me. It's... over. I'm sorry."

That person left without anymore words to say and never looked back. My heart and soul slowly faded the farther that person went until there was nothing left of me. I can't recognize myself anymore. There was nothing left to prove that I was really there. I am a husk of my former self; a pathetic shriveled body and spirit, unable to move on, unable to feel anything or think rationally. I stood motionless for several moments; I couldn't keep track of time as it passed by.

There was only one more thing left to do of me now. I half-heartedly moved. There isn't any purpose in doing anything anymore except for this one last thing. I travelled to a building. I don't know what it is but it was number eight-hundred eighty eight. It was an eight-story building, across the church inside the park. From what I could observe, it was abandoned; nothing in it, an empty husk of what it used to be, just like me. The windows were all shattered, the white paint was worn off and the only source of light it had was from the street lamp, right outside it. The light shone brightly among the other posts; so far, it was the brightest I've seen. I climbed the flight of stairs to the roof of the building. Climbing it was a blur like a distant memory that you can't remember at all.

The cold night air was soothing and all was silent. I walked to the ledge and looked down. It was fairly high. Part of me still wanted to keep on fighting but it was insignificant compared to the rest. I grabbed my note and scribbled, "There's no use in moving on. You can't forget the past. It will always be there to haunt you and to cause grief. Tonight is the last night of pain, the last night of suffering. Everything that I am now is lost in the wind. I am just an empty husk of nothing; an empty husk of what I used to be and what I used to believe in. The world means nothing to me, and I mean nothing to the world."

I neatly folded the note and grasped it in my palms. A tear traced down my face and dropped on my last words. I let myself fall back into the air, emotionless and accepting death. Time seemed to slow down, as I fell. Fond memories of the past played in front of me like a movie; meeting my dad for the first time in my life, the sad moments when I experienced the pains of being bullied, the joys of having friends there to back you up, and sophomore year. I saw that person for the first time again, the intrams, recollection, outreach, fair, my heart breaking apart, Christmas, the field trip, valentine's day, that person's birthday, endless nights of sadness and finally, the fountain, where my life ended on the inside to falling now.

I closed my eyes, ready for the end. The cold, hard concrete and all the bones in my body, breaking, was the final sensation I felt. Here is where I lay, dead. Here is where I lay, heartbroken. Here is where I lay, shattered.