Terrible Creature Short
This is a darker, GrimDark if you like, short story that I wrote a little while back. Well, not really a story, more like a single scene. This creature is based upon the "Scarlet" from Silent Hill: Homecoming, along with borrowing things from a few others. Reading back over it, I'm still not sure how I feel about the ending, Though Spoilers The death part isn't really the problem, it's more the means taken by the creature, since it seems that something like that would be more prone to hack someone to pieces with its blades rather than suffocate them with its tongue, which might work better on a different one that would more naturally take that approach. I dunno, just rambling I suppose, but let me know what you think, if you would be so kind, and if I like the response I get, I may be keen to make more, but we'll see....
Stumbling your way through the pitch darkness that surrounds you, your hand grips tightly around your flashlight, the sole source of illumination in the dense black fog that seems to go on forever in every direction. As you stop for a moment to try to find your bearings, you hear something skitter across the ceiling above your head. Shining your light all over in an attempt to find the source, you find nothing. As your heartbeat begins to slow back down and you start to catch your breath, you shine the light in front of you again, only to be met by a pair of gleaming black eyes only a few inches from your face. Nearly jumping out of your skin, you fall backwards, causing your flashlight to clatter across the floor as your heart pounds against your chest. You quickly clamber your way towards the light, clawing and grasping towards it with everything you have in an attempt to reach it, only to have a long metal blade slam down and pierce your hand, just inches from your prize. You howl in pain and try to pull away as your deep red blood begins to spurt from the wound, only making things worse. You look upwards to find the creature partially illuminated by the light, a twisted mass of flesh and rusty metal that resembles something like a spider made from a corpse, stripped of all its skin, with long limbs of flesh and sinew sprouting from where the arms and legs used to be, ending in sinister looking, curved blades at the tips. The creature moves in closer to get a better look at you, twisting the blade as it moves, making you scream and cry out in agony as those gleaming black orbs stare murderous, blood soaked daggers into yours, not a trace of anything human left in them. Inches from your face, the creature begins to growl and hiss at you, opening its mouth much wider than anything should be able to, giving you a good look at the rows upon rows of sharp, rusted metal fragments and shards of broken glass where it's teeth should be, its foul breath filling your nostrils, causing you to gag and cough from the stench. suddenly, it wraps one of its limbs around the back of your neck and pulls it forward, cocking it's head just in time to lock it's rotting lips with yours, holding you in a deep, suffocating kiss as it begins to slide it's long, thick tongue down your throat, making you gag and choke as you struggle to get away, going nowhere as it continues sliding further and further down. You continue to struggle and choke, getting weaker and weaker as everything begins to fade to grey, and then, nothing.......