Day 18: first fight
#13 of Project: perfection
I don't know what to do, or say, or to blame... When he just left like that... It really hurt... I feel awful right now and I keep going from depressed to angry... I can't help but Blame Chris... It's part of me knows it could have been Ryker and Necross... but part of me doesn't care because it feels so betrayed...I haven't been able to sleep.... eat... I can barely focus on my work...
...Speaking of work, I found that... uuuggghh... I found that the mana signal idea Kross had is workable, but I'd have to modify a mana applicator to absorb and broadcast to the whole level. This means that I'd also need a personalized mana canister. A deprogrammer most likely, but with all of the deprogrammers we've used, all we got was drooling shells, we even used custom blends...
That bastard! Why hasn't he come around! Why haven't any of them bothered to even page me on my PDA! Those low life assholes! None of them even have the balls to face me! I mean, they where taking pictures and video of him, and if my screen saver and wallpaper are indicators of what the locked files are in my PDA, then he was just showing off to them!...
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I just wish someone would come and tell me... something... anything...
I'm just going to go into a corner and rot for a while...
Who's there? You know what, screw it I don't care, just stay out... Yoouu... You evil, manipulative, lying, monstrous asshole! All you wanted was a vulpine to dominate then toss aside like trash! You didn't care at all! Get the fuck out!...
Yes I'm pissed! You said that you cant recall the time between when you went in with Ryker and Necross until you woke up! Well, look at this!... Yes that's your cock on my PDA and your ASS is my background! My PDA was stolen bye dumb and dumber so I know they were the only ones who could have took these and all the video and pictures I can't get to! I thought you were different, I thought you were special! You're just another asshole I fell in love with.........
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Yes... I'm love with you... I assume they hypnotized you... but it just feels like all those other times... I'm sorry for lashing out... I was hurt... and scared... like all those other times...... Yeah, I guess I do feel like you'll always be there to comfort and protect me... Yes, I guess I've said it already, I'm not taking it back though, I love you, I really love you... You.. don't want me to?... Really?... Oh Chris, thank you! I've wanted to hear it since we got back. I also wanted you to hold me so bad... Please, say it again... muuurrr... thank you... I love you too... Our first fight... I'm sorry I snapped, I've just been trying to contemplate all this on top of you just plowing me, dominating me, then giving my belly a rub and get out like nothing happened...... I think the security cameras caught it..... Yes, I think Ryker will unlock my PDA files and let us view it all.... yes I want to see it.... You dirty pervert... yes, I'll let you film and take pictures... But, never let anyone see them or I will geld you in the most painful way possible do you understand me?...... Good. Now, can we head to the bunks? I'd like to cuddle.
Is this on? Oh damn. Why do I always end up do this?... Yes, I think it's partially because you keep walking in and distract me long enough to forget I'm dictating... Yes, you distract me because you're hot and I love you, Mr. Big Ego... Yes, I know I'm still recording. Let me end my notes, I want to continue our talk while I'm snuggled into you.
Dr. Mitchell J. Straton