How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found
(Author's Note: I'd like to apologize in advance for those expecting another short erotic story and also for the content included in the following story. I'm not terribly proud of this one and it did come from a dark place inside but I felt like I needed to write it. No, I have not been raped or abused in the past, but I have people in my life who had, but I don't wish to talk about it. I promise I'll return to writing more fap fiction tomorrow. Feel free to skip this one if you want. So there you go.)
The feline entered his apartment and shut the door. His paws trembled as they slid the chain across the track and secured the door. His head and ass ached like hell and all he wanted in that moment was something to drink and something to keep the events of the previous evening out of his mind. He slunk to the kitchen, hunched over and limping slightly.
He started up the coffee maker and sat down at the kitchen table. He fidgeted and wrung his paws anxiously as the coffee started brewing. He listened to the sound of the water boiling and then the trickling sound of coffee pissing into the glass pot. The ambient noise didn't help to ease his mind. It reminded him of waking up to the sound of his mama brewing coffee at sunrise for papa to go to work. It was the bitter end of nostalgia; the part that reminds you that you can never go home again.
YOU
The word screamed in his mind, interrupted only by his volition and will to suppress it. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to think it. All he wanted was his coffee and a shower. Maybe watch some cartoons like he did when he was a kitten and forget that...
YOU'VE BEEN
The words beamed again, persistent like a flashing neon sign. He shook his head forcefully to drive out the thought. But the walls between him and the harsh truth were thin and brittle where any little thing could remind him of that event, no matter how hard he tried to forget. He poured himself a cup of coffee. He turned and saw the picture of him and his former 'friend' at Blowing Rock in a little magnet frame on the refrigerator.
RAPED
"No," he said, gripping the burning mug in his paw, barely noticing the pain.
RAPED
"NO!" he screamed, flinging the mug down at the floor where it shattered.
The memories came flooding back to him in waves. They were fuzzy but he remembered getting shitfaced and collapsing on a friend's bed at the party. People should have noticed but they didn't. He woke up to the feeling of being pressed into the bed and the dull pain of something hot, thick, and dry being forced into his tailhole. He barely registered what was happening when he turned his head and saw his friend Danny sweating over him, inebriated but with the upper paw.
The wall had been broken. The sobbing, quaking feline fell to the floor. He felt dirty and used.
When his sobbing calmed down to crying, he noticed that some of the color had gone from his feet. He was all black cat, but he saw that his feet up to his knees had turned a darker shade of grey. He didn't think much of it then. He needed to make a call.
His mother picked up after the sixth ring.
"Hello?"
It equal parts nostalgia and traumatic stress, he regressed (or at least his voice did) back to when he was a kitten growing up in rural North Carolina.
"Mama?"
"Kenny, is that you?" she asked, with some annoyance.
He paused, feeling his throat closing up and his eyes burning with tears, "Mama...I...I got raped."
There was silence on the other end of the phone. Then his mother burst out laughing. He felt humiliated and heartbroken as his mother cackled in her Southern, cigarette cracked voice.
"What'd I tell you? I tol' you not to come cryin' to me when you done get raped or get the HIV. I warned you 'bout that lifestyle but did you listen?"
"Mama, please..."
"Don't 'Mama' me, boy. You ain't got a home no more." She said coldly. The phone clicked and went dead.
And just like that, he had lost the only connection he had with his old life. His old, innocent life. His family had shunned him out of their lives after his coming out and his move up to the 'big city'. He had been hasty to shed the old life in favor of a more self-indulgent and decadent one, but now he had no real friends to turn to anymore and no family to fall back on.
The pain gave way to numbness and an emptiness that swallowed him whole. He looked down at his legs again and saw that they were much lighter now, as were his paws. It was spreading up his legs now to his thighs. At any other time in his life he might have shown considerable concern about it but instead, he felt indifference. He didn't care what happened to himself anymore. He was at the lowest point he'd ever been in.
He toyed around with the idea of suicide but opted out for some ibuprofen, a hot shower and a nap. In the shower, he closed his eyes under the cascade of warm water. All he could think about was how his 'friend' took advantage of him and his mother's coldness and lack of compassion over the phone. When he opened his eyes he saw that his legs were not just lighter in color but translucent. He could make out the pattern of the tile floor beneath his feet but not very clearly. He saw that the same was happening with his paws as well.
He thought, 'Maybe I'm turning into a ghost...' The thought was emotionless and more of an observation than a reason to panic.
Out of the shower, he headed for his bedroom. He passed a mirror and noticed that his feet were almost completely limpid and the apparition effect was creeping up his thighs and arms like a fog.
He went to bed and tried to think of things that made him happy but he just couldn't. He cried softly as the rest of him began to disappear until there was nothing left but the sound of his sobbing, which too faded like a candle burning itself out.