Starlight: Issues
#2 of Starlight
Chapter 2: Issues
Characters and Story Copyright Katya Saint Croix
Original Concept Copyright Lurking Dragon
"Star? Wake up sweetie." Sally gave a soft tug on my tail.
"Ugh... five more minutes" I tugged my tail free of her grasp and rolled onto my side.
Sally grinned slightly from ear to ear, scooping me up into her arms. With a bounce in her step, she padded down the hall into the bathroom. Dozing quietly against her chest, I didn't hear the sound of the running water, nor did I hear Sally's quiet chuckling as she held me over the tub.
SPLOOSH!
"ACK!" I flailed about wildly, the cold water sending waves of chills through my veins, "Sally! Not funny!" I wrapped my arms around my frame, trying to keep warm in the frosty water.
Sally didn't answer for a moment. Overcome with laugher at my reaction to the dunking, she was far too busy running the memory over and over in her head. With a bitter curl of my lip, I splashed her with a wave of water, silencing her laughter by inducing a yelp of surprise.
"Hey!" Sally narrowed her eyes at me and folded her arms across her chest.
"Wasn't me~..." I tried my best to look innocent as I tried to climb out of the water.
Sometimes, as I would soon learn, you can't really tell if Sally is angry or joking with you. In this case, she was rather enraged. While I was climbing out of the tub, she slapped her paw down on my rear, causing me to yelp and reflexively reach to cover my rear, which, coincidently, made me tumble back into the tub with a moderate splash. With a soft snicker, she reached out and quickly disrobed me, tossing my clothes into a pile in the corner of the room.
"Since you like to splash me, I guess I'll give you a cold water bath in the mornings for a week, as well as making you take a nap after breakfast." Sally reached over and grabbed the bathing material from the countertop and began to bath me.
Lamenting at my new predicament, I gave a heavy sigh and just let Sally bathe me in the icy water. For some weird reason, this whole incident brought back a strange memory of my life back on Altanis, the Alluatran home world.
Though my recollection of the event is very faint, I remember someone I believe to be my mother, and someone else as well, but I don't really remember how they looked, or even how they smelled. We were at the beach, and my mother set me down to play with the sand and the foamy ridge of the water as it crashed upon the coast. My mother and the other person took a seat nearby and I think they were engaged in a conversation, so they weren't really paying attention to me. I waddled out to the coastline, just recently having learned to walk, when a large wave crashed down on the shoreline and made me lose my balance. The force of the wave returning back out to the sea and the soft sand beneath my hind-paws pulled me out into the deep water. In a panic, I began to flail around violently. I didn't know how to swim! I was so scared...
"Star?" Sally realized I was spaced out and ran her digits through my hair tenderly, "You alright?"
"Huh? Oh... I'm alright." I looked up at her with a smirk across my muzzle.
Sally shook her head at me and gave my nose a soft tap. My guess is that my silence and lack of resistance had her worried. I'm not really even sure why I remembered that, but I guess that is why I fear water like I do. I mean... I can deal with water from something like a faucet or a showerhead, but bodies of water are frightening in my opinion.
"You know I was kidding about the nap right? And I can't bathe you in cold water, since you'll get sick" Sally stroked my damp head-fur with her paw as she lifted the towel from the rack with her paw.
"I know..." I leaned back against her paw, still dazed from the returning memory of my childhood.
"You aren't gonna tell me what's on your mind are you?" Sally pulled the stopper from the tub and let it drain, scooping me up into her towel-covered arms, "I can hardly blame if you don't want to. I haven't really done much to earn your trust yet"
"I'll tell you before nap time. Fair enough?" I grabbed a corner of the towel and rubbed down my facial fur
Sally began to coarsely towel me down once again before setting me down on the floor, with my fur in a puffy, rather chaotic array. With a slight scowl, I spun on my heels and retreated back to my room to get dressed. Sally has some poor taste in clothing considering her fantastic tastes in antiques. Though I don't care much for stylish or ritzy looking clothes, I do have a huge distaste for skirts! With my repertoire my pants being as minuscule as it was, I didn't have much of a choice. I must have seemed like an explorer seeking out a wild beast from Sally's perspective, since she was snickering softly from my doorway as I did my best to find out which dresser drawer contained what articles of clothing. After several minutes of scrounging, I managed to grab a bearable outfit.
After redressing myself in my undergarments, I began to second-guess my choice of clothing. An azure blue tank top, not a spaghetti strap, which I'm thankful for, and a light pink skirt with some weird set of symbols on the back-right hip. As I mentioned before, I have a serious distaste for skirts for one very simple reason.
One thing I had learned growing up on this planet... Men are perverts. If they see a girl in a skirt, they do whatever they can to get that skirt off that girl and get her into bed. I remember that day very clearly... I hate men, but I don't dislike James. I'm indifferent to him, though I cannot say for how long it would say that way, since opinions constantly change. Bad memories...
Sally seized the moment to catch me off guard, grabbing the tank top from my paws and pulling it over my head. In flash, she had me in her arms and was pulling the skirt up my waist. Growling rather loudly, I struggled against her. She held me fast and tossed me into the air, catching me when are we were on eye level.
"Don't growl at me." Sally gave me a stone gaze, and my growling ceased.
"You didn't have to do that..." I was rather embarrassed about being dressed in such an accord.
"You were taking forever. Breakfast would have been cold had I waited longer to intervene."
I felt rather silly. Sally went through the trouble to prepare breakfast for me, and I had to make this morning difficult for her. Talk about your guilt trips.
"Sorry..." I lowered my gaze to the floor
"Don't worry about it. 'Least I didn't have to spank you." Sally snickered and carried me downstairs in her arms.
James was downstairs already, reading the news on the data tablet. Everything in this day and age is either completely computerized or is computerized to an extent, except in one field: Repair. As sophisticated as the world is in this day and age, repairs still can't be made on electronics with the use of computers, which is probably why it's the biggest industry in the 28th century.
"Since you two took your sweet time getting ready, I went ahead and ate" James looked up from the data pad and looked into Sally's eyes, "Hope you don't mind dear"
"You know I prefer that everyone eat together. It's lonely to not be a family at meal time." Sally sighed softly and padded past him into the kitchen.
Once again, my size proved to be a issue with my new life. As with the car ride from the previous day, I was too small to sit in a chair and eat at the table, even with a booster seat. I think Sally purposely planned all this. She made me sit in a specialized high chair!
"You have to be joking..." A cryptic scowl crossed my lips as Sally strapped me into the high chair
"Sorry Star, but you are too small for a booster seat." Sally attached the tray and walked over to the stove
Hardly able to contain the urge to growl, I tapped my tail on the rear-left leg of the maple leg of the chair. This is so embarrassing. I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs and tearing the tray off its hinges, however, rather then getting myself in a boat-load of trouble, I crossed my arms over and pouted with a broody aura emanating from my body. Sally looked over her shoulder at me and sighed softly, approaching me and setting the plate of food down on my feeding tray.
"You are a feisty, rebellious, and rather moody girl aren't you?" Sally set her plate down and took a seat close to me, handing me a pair of silverware from the table.
"That's just how you see me. Doesn't mean that I am that way." I reluctantly took the utensils and began to eat my meal.
I was really giving Sally more grief then I needed to. She took the time to prepare a wonderful breakfast of runny eggs and bacon, toast and freshly squeezed orange juice, not that stuff from concentrate that people can get from their replicators; and here I was, fussing over getting a cold bath, being dressed without my consent, and being forced into a high chair. Ok, so maybe I am slightly justified, but I didn't have to vent all my angst on her.
The meal went by without a word for the most part, Sally occasionally looking up from her plate to see if I was alright. I could tell from the look on her face that she was rather concerned with how I was taking all of this.
"What's wrong?" Sally put her utensils on her plate and glanced at me, "There are things on your mind that you aren't telling me."
"Nothing..." I tuned her out and kept eating with my gaze locked on my tray
"Starlight-le Saint Mark," Her voice no longer seemed somber, but rather irate, "I know, for a fact, that something is bothering you. Why won't you just open up and talk to me?" Sally sat back in her chair and looked at the terrycloth covering of the large mahogany table of Germen design.
"Maybe I don't want to talk about it. In time, maybe I'll trust you enough to tell you how I'm feeling, but you can't just outright expect me to be able to handle all these changes within 48 hours!" I put my utensils down on the tray and stared at my empty plate, "I'm done eating..."
Sally pulled me from the chair and set me down on the floor. She didn't say anything as I walked off and returned to my den. James looked mildly concerned as I walked past him without saying a word. Once I was in my room, I shut my door and sat down on the floor, propped up against it.
What was I feeling? Was it fear to accept them? Or perhaps, was it just that, until now, I've never really had a family? This is the first time I've felt loved in 28 years, since my foster family disappeared...
"James, don't bother. Let her have her space?" twitching my ears, I recognized the voice to be Sally's.
"She needs our support right now Sa-" Sally cut him off before he could finish before he could finish his statement.
"Right now, she needs time to get her thoughts in order. She's having a hard time adapting to all of these changes. Give her space. In time, she'll come to us for help, not the other way around."
Standing up against and brushing the wrinkles out of my skirt, I opened my door. I had to talk to them.
"Uhm... I need to talk to you two." My gaze was more on the floor than my new parents, shuffling my hind-paw across the carpet slightly.
"Alright, we're coming." Sally turned to James, giving him a gloating grin as she walked past him and towards my room.
I moved out of the way and made my way over to my bed, climbing up on top of the silky quilt. Sally and James sat to my sides, both looking at me with curious intensity. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I began to tell them everything.
"I'm sorry that I haven't really been what you two were expecting in a daughter. I guess I have a lot of issues I need to work out, but I thought that I owed you two a reason for my behavior." I hopped off he bed and slowly approached my window, gazing out at the charming neighborhood, bustling with activity, "You see... I was orphaned here on Earth after my mother died when I was six. I was so lonely... people never seem to care about the homeless. I was barely able to talk; I couldn't read, I hardly knew how to say my own name..."
"Oh my! That's horrible..." Sally covered her mouth with her own paws, covering her hidden gasp at the thought of how I must have felt.
"How did you survive though? At that age, you couldn't have survived on your own." James seemed perplexed, though he almost certainly knew the answer to such a foolish question.
"I was found by some strangers, malnourished and nearly dead from exhaustion. After spending a week in the hospital, I was released in the care of the government officials."
"Ah yes... our lovable, caring, oh so corrupt government officials." James rolled his eyes, "That might explain a few things, like why your so mentally unstable."
"Something along those lines, yes, but it runs deeper than that. The government placed me in a local orphanage shortly after I was released from the hospital. I was there for about a week or two before I was finally adopted by a young human couple."
"Do you remember their names perchance?"
"No, Sally, I don't remember. It's not important anyway..."
"Sure it is! I'm sure they'll want to see you."
"They are dead...both of them burned to death when our home caught fire later that same year."
"Bad things keep happening to you I guess." James tried to crack a joke to lighten the mood, though one glare from Sally shut him up.
"Certainly feels like it. I spent a few days in the hospital getting treated for minor burns, though I still feel like I'm emerged in those flames... Anyway..."
"All this is great and all, but mind if I interject a question?" Sally cut me off in mid-sentence, as she tended to do.
"Sure. What's on your mind?" I turned to face her, craning my neck slightly to the side.
"Why are you afraid of water?"
I was remarkably baffled at her lack of sensibility to the situation. Here I am explaining my past to someone who is still a complete stranger, and she wants to know why I'm afraid of water!? Well, I was going to have to explain it sooner or later.
"While I was still very young, my mother took me to the beach. I was playing on the coast when a large wave crashed on the short, and the riptide pulled me out into the deeper water. I nearly drowned..." I blinked a few times, appearing somewhat unscathed by my own fear or dark memory.
"Gah~! How can you say that with such a straight face?!" Sally hopped off the bed and rushed to my side, clasping me tightly against her chest in a maternal fashion.
"S-sally! Y-your crushing me~!" I struggled against her slightly, though I just gave up and I buried my muzzle in her soft fur.
"I think we've been told enough. The more you reveal right now, the worse you are going to feel about things. For now, I think it best if we leave it as it is and let it be known in time." James walked up behind Sally and stroked the fur along the back of my ears.
Giggling softly at the soft touch, I looked up at him and gave him affirmation. Sally gathered me up in her arms and sat down on the edge of the bed once again, cradling me in her arms, just as she would do with a newborn child. I didn't care anymore. If Sally wanted to see me as a newborn child, I would let her. This was my chance for a new start, a second chance after a past of failures and mistakes, tragic losses and my loss of innocence (though they didn't know that until much later...)
"That's fair enough, I guess. I do have a silly request though, if I may." I yawned a bit, rubbing my eyes with the backs of my paws.
"Sure thing, Star, but only if you grant request of mine." Sally smiled, James taking the moment to leave the room.
"Fair enough, but you first."
"Call me mom or something along those lines. Please?"
"Alright, that's fair enough." I repressed the urge to laugh at her manner of asking that question, since she made it seem like it was something of dire importance.
"So... what is your request?"
"Well... it's really more of question and a request than just a request. It seems to me like you see me as more of an infant than a young child."
"Well... that is true, but you being almost the same size as a large toddler doesn't help much either. That does make me more curious as to what you are getting at though."
"Well... uhm..." My cheeks turned a soft shade of red as I folded my ears back with a nervous sound softly emanating from my throat, "Could I get some warm milk and a story before nap time?"
Sally looked rather shocked, almost amazed at my request. However, the astonishment subsided and gave way to the brightest smile I had seen on her face since we met he previous day. Squeezing me softly against her chest, she nuzzled me softly and set me down upon the soft covering of my bedcovers.
"Fair enough, my little Star. I can grant you that request." She tapped my nose lightly with her paw and padded out of the room with a chipper bounce in her step.
It hadn't even been 48 hours, and I had already forged a strong bond with my new parents. Sally and I are so close, and I won't have any problem seeing her as my mother, though I can never forget my birth mother, and her soft fragrance. Feeling overcome with relief, I curled up on the warm quilt, yawning loudly as I stretched and got comfortable. It was then that I realized I had forgotten to make my bed after I was roused from my slumber. Sally must have taken care of that when I was picking out my clothing. I guess I was so immersed in my thoughts of what to wear that I hadn't really noticed. Sally emerged from my doorway holding a book in one paw and a baby bottle in the other paw. I merely stared at her blankly as she took a seat next to me and lifted me into her arms.
"You know I didn't mean for it like this." I smirked slightly, giving her a soft pout before beeping her nose, "Just this once alright? I may look like I'm four, but I'm still six years old." I wiggled a little me, making myself comfortable as she pressed the soft teat against my lips
I reflexively began to suckle the silicone teat as Sally flipped through pages of the book with her tail, looking for a story to ready me. I was probably either very thirsty or very tired, or maybe even a combination of both. In any case, before I finished the contents of my bottle and before Sally began the story, I was already fast asleep, and far off in dreamland.
Before me was a long hallway, almost completely dark except for a dim light that emerged from nowhere at all. The air was bitter and icy, feeling almost as if the wind were composed of thousands of small blades slicing across my flesh as I moved through the dark space. From the abyss and shadows came voices, some somber, others violent...
Where is it that you run to?
"I'm not running."
You lie. You are afraid.
"I fear nothing"
Is that so? Not even the loss of your new parents?
"They don't need me to protect them. Besides, none of you voices actually exist. It's all in my head."
FLASH! The corridor was drowned in a bright luminosity emerging from within the darkness itself. Shielding my eyes from the sudden burst, things finally darkened a bit, and when I uncovered my eyes, I was standing in a large bedroom in front of a tall mirror. When I looked into it, I didn't see my reflection... I saw three people standing there looking back at me, and they looked almost exactly like me.
There is nothing to fear
We won't hurt you
We are you
Sorrow
Rage
Innocence
We are here to tell you
You've completed the first step
But there is still much left to do
You'll soon learn the truth
As will they
Open your heart
And
It
All
Goes
Away
"It all goes away...? Learn the truth? What do you mean?"
Before I could hear my answer, I was swept away into darkness once again, though it wasn't cold like before. It was a warm, soft place, like I was lying in the clearing of a dense forest, the air smelling of warm lilacs...
"Mommy..." The words slipped from my lips as I softly clutched the grass in my paws.
It was then that I heard it... A voice sweet and tender, a tender paw stroking my cheek and muzzle with a single digit, and the smell. It was my mother, returning to me in my dream. I was too overcome within this tranquil darkness to see, but I knew in my heart that it was her. This world was my mother's heart...
_Baby of mine, don't you cry...
Baby of mine, dry your eyes...
Rest your head, close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine..._
_Little one, when you play,
Don't you mind what they say...
Let those eyes sparkle and shine, never a tear, baby of mine..._
_If they knew sweet little you...
They'd end up loving you too...
All those same people who scold you...
What they'd give just for the right to hold you..._
_From your head down to your toes,
You're not much, goodness no...
But you're so precious to me, sweet as can be, baby of mine..._
Baby of mine...
I never felt anymore at peace than I did that night. My mother came to me in my dream and was singing to me... or perhaps it was my imagination making me think it was my mother while Sally really did the singing. In either case, this was the beginning of a life that I was looking forward to living, even if Sally treated me like a toddler.
The voices were right about one thing though: I opened my heart to them, and now I have a family. I couldn't ask for anything more, but the events of the rest of the day would give me something else to think about.