Red Light, Green Light
#61 of Hockey Hunk Season 4
Has Rory recovered from his meltdown?
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Hehhey. muffins!
Welcome to the Hockey Hunk - back after a couple of extra days duet to unforeseen business for the tiger - but back now, and ready to chug-chug onwards towards our ultimate final station - the season finale! We're not there yet, though, and I think we'll be seeing the season break only commence near the end of July - which means we've got some serious plot to go through first! Awesome, yes? Well, I hope so, and I hope that you enjoy the read now, and leave me plenty of comments and other feedback - it is always appreciated, and will help others to find these stories to enjoy as well.
Cheers!
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"Crap," I huffed, my brow rising from Peter's shoulder.
"Yeah?" the cougar rumbled softly as he looked at me. "Was I boring you that much telling you about the numerous suitors of Lady Mary?"
I rubbed a paw quickly over my muzzle and made a displeased cat face.
"I forgot Haakon," I grumbled. "He showed me the link to the video and I never answered."
"Oh maaan," Peter chuffed in his best imitation of a frat boy voice.
I puffed out my cheeks and let my ears flop.
"Mind if I go and see if I can still catch him and apologize?" I said. "I don't want to piss anyone else off tonight."
Peter snuffled and patted my nearest thigh softly.
"Go on then," he rumbled, "I'll just put on the next episode and see if there's any more bitchslapping between Isobel and the Dowager Countess in the third episode."
Peter nonchalantly went for the remote and I watched him from the profile view for a moment...the too fluffy cheeks...the slightly stern eyes...the black T-shirted torso...sitting slinking on a corner of the couch. He seemed alright...even after my attack oh his personal space that surely rattled his standards for hygiene and anti-bacterial regime...but that was Peter. My Peter.
"Okay," I said as I leaned over and softly brushed my lips against the side of his head, a spot I hoped he wouldn't find too offensive. "You better fill me in afterwards."
He didn't turn to look at me when I got up from the couch, post-kiss.
"Sure," he rumbled, already fumbling for the button to turn on the next episode.
I gave him one final quick look before I hobbled over to the bedroom and crashed down onto my knees and my elbows on the edge of the bed and dragged the computer around a bit. The screen came alive with a tap of the keyboard, to show YouTube with its looming title of the video and a stream of suggested further It Gets Better videos...
I felt tension growing in my belly as I hurried to switch tabs to put Facebook on again, and then spied the corner of the screen to see if...
Haakon Kjerulf says: Pretty interesting huh : )
Haakon Kjerulf says: I think
_Haakon Kjerulf says: _ Lots of good words too
_Haakon Kjerulf says: _ Yeah?
_Haakon Kjerulf says: _ Rory?
Haakon Kjerulf says: *bump*
Haakon Kjerulf says: Wassup?
Haakon Kjerulf says: Says u online but nothing from u Rory
Haakon Kjerulf says: ops well never mind tell me what u think catch u later
_ _
The little symbol besides his name had turned red now, which meant that he was no longer online, which meant that I had disappeared long enough to leave him hanging and finally, probably getting bored and going away instead of trying to poke my golden ass some more with more questions about the video. I let out a displeased huff at possibly having made the lynx think I was ignoring him.
"Shit," I grumbled.
I scooted myself up to the bed and deposited the computer onto my lap before I clicked open the messaging page thingy and typed in Haakon's name before I began my plead.
Hi!
_ _
Sorry, Haakon, my net stopped working for a while and only now came back, so strange. I saw the video and I think it's a brave gesture of him to do. I really am quite surprised. Thank you for sharing! I'm sorry I disappeared on you, I better talk with you later! Sorry again.
_ _
Rory.
_ _
I rubbed my chin and reread what I had written for the hunk-a-tastic lynx, deemed it alright enough and then sent I away with a quick flick of my paw.
Well, I knew that was a white lie, but saying that I had broken down weeping was probably not the response he had expected to get from a video which he had described as...what was it...I scrolled up a bit...
"...thought this might interest you too, dude..."
_ _
Yeah, right. Interesting for sure...
...damn. _ _
Guess he'd had it rough, too. Guess Haakon, the cosmopolitan, international, cod liver oil-sipping Viking had it really easy in his Nordic paradise. I wasn't sure how they viewed the gays there but I could assume that there was no trouble. Suppose Norway wasn't exactly The Netherlands, I thought, but maybe it was cool enough.
Oops.
No pun intended.
Hadn't he mentioned going to a lesbian wedding, too? That meant marriage...walking down the aisle paw in paw with YMCA playing on the organ...weeping drag queens...possibly weeping estranged family members trying to pretend to be civil...
...
well, couldn't win them all. Probably Mr and Mrs Haakon wouldn't mind him bringing home an exotic fluffy wolf from New York state...a new American cousin...
...bah. What was I thinking? Haakon had done nothing wrong...he'd just thought I'd like the video...so blissfully unaware of everything else that had been going on between his newly-found gay idol and his frat wolf boy-buddy Mason's closeted gay co-worker. I'd maybe done a bit of a nasty thing by leaving him hanging but...
...well, I'd cried enough for now. Guess a few other things had come out at the same time, too. It'd been a while since I let it all out. Back at home...much to my displeasure. Blabbering like a fool and scaring my parents off...now scaring off Peter...potentially scaring off Haakon, if he thought I got upset about the video.
Probably not. He'd just thought he'd make some conversation. That was it. Yes. That it was. I should stop worrying about Haakon. I'd done nothing wrong, I had...
...I had been such an asshole when it came to Colin, though. I felt a bit sick even thinking about it...the disappointment...that angry, sad face, and then the quiet goodbye on a text...just before...oh God...why did everything bad have to happen simultaneously? I tensed a little, and my tail bounced on the bed as I tried not to let myself to go back to think about all the shit that happened...the pain, the...well...
Everything, just everything had gone wrong, and I was just now keeping my head above the surface again...slowly trudging along and fixing the things I could. The list seemed to be gaining more names now, though...While Victor and Cobb has been crossed over from the list, Peter's name had reappeared on the "RORY'S IMPORTANT FIXES" checklist, with the subheading "Don't hurt him by leaving him alone" , and now the marking that read "APOLOGIZE TO COLIN" had become all too bold.
What was I in comparison to the tiger, the weary soul who had done the bravest thing I could imagine a man could do...reveal something that could turn hearts and eyes cold in an instant, change love into fear and send lions packing from their jobs...possibly.
There was never enough evidence, after all.
Fuck the recession.
Fuck them all.
Damn it. I was starting to feel upset again. The tension was simply growing...the pain...the feelings that had come out in a rush with my tears were slowly coming back. The sheer desolation I had felt...listening to those gently rumbled words, and knowing that somewhere behind those gentle, brave eyes laid a man I had insulted badly...insulted myself, too, in a way, and all the gentle, playful, brave souls like Haakon and Mason...
I was probably an insult to them, in a way, trapped in the closet built by my own hurt feelings...and the general hurt. All the bad things that had happened to me and made me...what had they made me...a jumpy old shit with terrible track record when it came to relationships and...and what?
Guess that didn't really have much to do about it. This wasn't about those things...Graham or Peter or...or whatever. Colin...Colin who had simply wanted to approach to me and...and I hadn't even managed to say half of the right things...let alone the polite things.
It must be so terribly lonely to him...kinda famous, and hence, always having furs being curious about him...probably would make dating ever so difficult, if you had to worry whether the prospective date knew him or his work...knew his face...and hadn't Haakon mentioned that there had been rumours...
It was probably a bit like living here in Kirk City, in a way...everyone kinda knowing each other...but tken to a wholly bigger scale...because there were furs who might actually care...actually hate...and spread the hate...personally...hadn't they already said that those Harry Potter books were Satanic or something? Wonder what this could do to Colin's books...or his fans...could all those geeks who had swarmed The Albrecht Brothers accept their idol as a butt bandit? Did it matter anymore? I suppose my foremost examples ie. Haakon and Mason weren't probably the most heteronormative representatives of the demographic...
Gah. This was difficult. Maybe I should just stop moping here now that Haakon was gone and just go back to Peter to watch that show with him. He seemed to be enjoyed this Abbey business. No wonder Faye liked that stuff...with the gay scheming going on...and uniforms...and white gloves and boots and slicked-up headfurs...maybe that'd help, going there and losing myself in something that had absolutely nothing to do with my messed-up life. Maybe I could make up to Peter for my meltdown, too...cheer him up a bit...show that good times could still be had, even if I was moving out soon...that everything was as fine as it could be, and would be.
Plink.
Hmmm?
Victor Holden says: I see u : )
_ _
Green light.
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Thank you for reading my story! Hope you enjoyed the read, and I do hope that you'll leave me plenty of feedback - it is always appreciated, and I hope you will also vote and fave - this will help others to find these stories to enjoy as well!
See you on Wednesday - yes - WEDNESDAY! Just another little surprise for y'all :P