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1. The Next Day

"Why?" Keurin began hours later as he stood in the bathroom and looked at his reflection, his face red from weeping. "Why couldn't you just ask him to quit and move in with you, Keurin? You love him, he loves you; you want to be with him; he wants to be with you!"

Ash flung from the cigarette between his fingers as he whipped his hands back and forth. "So why, dumbass?

"You know why, say it!" Keurin took a long drag from his smoke, grimacing in agony as he slowly destroyed his lungs. As he spoke, gray mist drifted from within his lips:

"Because I can't be sure it will work out with him, and I'm afraid that if it doesn't, I'll lose him forever and he will have lost his job by then. Or he will resent me for asking him to quit in the first place...

"Because a relationship is a gamble I'm too afraid to take. This must've been what Markus felt like last year when he ran off after sleeping with me... I'm sorry, Markus. I'm sorry, Aderrian."

Now that Aderrian was gone and would be for the next month or so, things fell back into normality... as much as was possible anyway. The dragon managed to find a decent job serving coffee and lunch at a half-deli, half-café. The pay was terrible - that was to be expected when you worked for tips - but the work was mind-numbingly easy and enjoyable. The dragon came home each evening smelling like coffee and mustard. He loved it; he was happy. He couldn't deny that - he was happy to be alone again with no drama cluttering his life.

A month after Aderrian left, Keurin came home like any other day and promptly showered. He had found out that if he didn't, the apartment would take on the odor of the deli and his clothing which mixed with the air fresheners in each room to become a sickening musk that made him gag.

It was Friday evening in the middle of March, nearing eight, when Marc showed up.

"What!" Keurin, sopping wet and clad in a towel, exclaimed as he flung the door open.

"...Hey," Marc said quietly, feeling a sting of déjà vu at the sight. Keurin had the towel clenched in his fist around his waist, but Marc could still tell that the dragon's knees were shaking.

"Look, Marc, I haven't even seen Toby for the past month, so whatever he told you is a lie. I don't work there anymore, I avoid that area of the city like it's a bad fuckin' disease. Okay?"

The man shook his head. "I know, but that's not why I'm here. Can I come in?"

"Are you going to shove me up against the wall and scream at me again?"

Marc shook his head, ears falling flat against his scruff of hair, peppered with sawdust as always. "No, Keurin. I want to talk."

The dragon looked hard at Marc, into his face, his eyes which the huskywolf averted as soon as they fell under Keurin's gaze.

"...All right, let me get dressed."

Marc stepped inside, and Keurin retreated to the bedroom, drying off quickly. When he threw the towel off of his head and bent over to tug on a pair of boxers, he saw Marc hovering in the door way, leaning against the jamb.

"Do you mind?" Keurin asked, blushing fiercely as he yanked his boxers up to his waist.

The man flushed a little. "It's not like I haven't seen it before."

"Yeah, when this," Keurin motioned toward his damp and naked body, "When all this was yours. Now please, go back out to the living room."

Marc stuffed his hands deep into his pockets and slumped his shoulders like the scolded pup he was. He gave another long look at Keurin's body before leaving. The dragon dressed quickly, pulling on a tee shirt a few sizes too big and came to meet Marc who had dropped onto the couch.

"Made yourself at home, huh?" Keurin mused, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch. "Okay, so what do you want to talk about?"

"I'm sorry."

"For?"

"For everything I said and did to you."

"What changed your mind? Aderrian's fist?"

Marc's hand went up to touch his jaw. He shook his head. "No, I'm doing this because of me - because I realized I have to do it. Yesterday when I came home, Toby was completely insane with anger, calling you names and insulting you, and in that anger I realized that I saw what he truly was and what he had done. He lied, didn't he? About your wanting to try and get into our relationship and break us up."

Keurin nodded slowly. "Yes, Marc. I don't have any desire to be with you anymore. I'm glad you're happy now; I'm glad you have found someone who makes you happy. I truly am."

"I'm not happy..." Marc said softly, shutting his eyes.

"What?"

"Why? Why don't you hate me for how I ended things between us or for threatening you?"

"Because I still love you, Marc. You were my first. I'll always love you. Those things I said when we were both angry were just that - words of anger spoken to hurt, but ultimately empty and without actual meaning. I still want to be friends..." the dragon's voice trailed off.

"Why do I feel like there's a 'but' at the end?"

Keurin shook his head slowly, his hair swaying back and forth. "But we can't."

"Why?" Mark exclaimed.

"Because I know that our being friends will hurt your relationship with Toby. He's... I'm sorry, he's incredibly jealous of me. He's so insecure that it's utterly pathetic and a little scary when I wonder how far he'd go to keep me away from you, even if you and I were to simply remain friends. I can't... I can't risk your happiness for mine... and I can't risk myself; I don't know what he'd do if he found out you and I had become friends again."

"After seeing who he truly was last night, I'm not so sure I want to be with that..." Marc murmured.

It was then that Keurin saw Marc's left hand and noticed his ring was gone.

"Oh god..." he began in horror, bringing a hand up to his mouth. "I've already ruined it, haven't I?"

"What?"

"Your ring...!"

The huskywolf looked down at his left hand and quickly moved it out of sight. "No, no, Keurin. You haven't ruined anything. You haven't. If anyone is to blame, it's me. I let it all get out of hand because I was so angry and upset at myself. Once I heard you were gone, had moved away, I was devastated because I knew it was my fault. I was angry at myself for causing you to think you had to leave, and I was angry - unfairly angry - at you for leaving; as if I had a right to pass that judgment on you.

"But as more and more time passed, I came to believe you had done it to hurt me and to spite me, or that you had purposely neglected our relationship at the end just to have a reason o leave... even back then I had begun to think this."

"I would never-"

"I know, I know, Keurin... I know."

"Why didn't you just talk to me? God knows I tried talking to you about it!" Keurin screamed, growing red in the face.

"I don't know... I was scared. I thought it'd be no good to try and work it out."

"I don't understand! If you didn't want it to end, regardless of what you thought, why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you try to talk about it?"

Marc was silent. He stared out of the window before him. A lone airplane drew a long, vinyl banner behind it advertising condos or a restaurant or something. Below, waves crept upon an empty beach. A cruise ship teetered on the horizon amidst the final throes of the evening sun burning purple against the horizon.

"I thought we were too far gone. I gave up."

"You didn't give up," Keurin began in a whisper, his voice growing louder and more intense with each word, "You didn't even try!"

Marc nodded. "I didn't, you're right... and I'm here to do what should've been done the minute we talked last month, when you tried to give me my ring back."

The huskywolf slid across the couch up next to Keurin, cupped a hand around the back of the dragon's neck, and pulled him into a kiss.

1. A Dark Path

If Keurin's eyes had rocketed open any faster, his eyelids would have peeled right off of his face. He gasped loudly, his breath hissing through his nostrils.

This isn't happening... this can't be happening... he thought before his mind grew cloudy and he fell back against the armrest.

Marc slipped over the dragon, pinning him down. A knee was shoved up between the dragon's legs. Marc growled softly, keeping his lips pressed against Keurin's, keeping them there. The dragon's arms flailed feebly, palms coming to rest on Marc's shoulders. Then, finally finding a moment of clarity, Keurin pushed hard. Marc fell away, tearing a small gash in the dragon's lower lip which he had bitten down on moments before. Keurin felt and tasted blood with the tip of his tongue. He panted heavily.

"What the hell are you doing?" Keurin screamed.

Marc flinched and whimpered like a pup, stammering: "I-I thought you wanted this..."

"No... No, Marc! You're with Toby now; even if I still wanted to be with you, I wouldn't because I'm not the kind of guy who helps another man cheat! I won't validate Toby's accusations and everything he's said about me! I won't give him that satisfaction!"

"He won't know..."

"Are you kidding me? Are you listening to yourself right now? Do you actually hear what you're saying?"

"I'm just listening to my heart."

"Your heart is wrong. If you don't love Toby anymore, that's one thing and it's your business, but I don't feel for you the way I once did... We can still be friends, but that's all we'll ever be."

"Didn't you say you still loved me?"

"Of course..." Keurin's voice grew soft as his anger died away. "Of course I do, part of me always will."

"But you won't even kiss me."

"You're not single, Marc. Don't you think that is, as much as I hate to say it, unfair to Toby?"

"Don't you think what he did to us was unfair? How he played both of us?" Marc looked hard at the dragon, eyes burning with confusion and lust.

"Are you going to leave him?"

"Don't avoid the question."

Keurin huffed. "Of course it was unfair. It was a cruel and extremely horrible thing he did... but reacting in kind isn't the right thing to do. Just because he hurt us doesn't mean we can hurt him."

Marc broke his gaze away from Keurin and pouted as he glared at the floor before him. "To answer your question, yes, I am leaving him, but I haven't told him yet."

The dragon sighed and closed his eyes, falling backwards on the couch. Marc's taste lingered on his lips. The pair was silent for a few minutes. Marc faced the window again, but cut his eyes to the right to steal at a look at Keurin every few seconds.

"I'd be lying," Keurin began, "If I said I was sad you and he were breaking up. He's messed up, seriously fucked in the head."

"I don't know what I ever saw in him. I thought he was so nice, so adorable... so sickeningly adorable."

"I'm glad you found out now rather than twenty years from now..."

"Yeah, no kidding. I can't even comprehend marrying... that, now."

"When are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. Soon."

"Don't put it off; it'll only get harder."

"I know."

Keurin nodded. Neither knew what else to say. Marc fidgeted with his hands, still wanting so badly to touch the dragon.

"So..." Marc began finally, "I'm sorry for kissing you."

Keurin shook his head. "It's fine."

"Like old times."

"Yeah... yeah," Keurin replied quietly, looking away. He licked his lips absently.

"Did you like it?" Marc asked, noticing Keurin's tongue at is slid across his lower lip.

"Yes... no; I don't know, Marc. I did in that it was nostalgic, but I didn't because-"

"Because I'm not single."

Keurin nodded. "I'm conflicted."

"With what?"

"I want to kiss you, but not while you're with him, but I don't want to lead you on, and then there's Aderrian..."

"Are you with him?"

"No..."

"He can't expect you to be-"

"Don't." Keurin raised a hand. "Don't do that. Don't try to justify it."

"I'm just saying-"

"I know what you're saying: 'You're not with Aderrian; you're not committed to him. You're not tied down so why can't you kiss or fuck someone else?' And I see what you're saying, Marc, but it's more complicated than that."

"Don't you think he'd want you to be happy?"

Keurin shut his eyes, covering them with his hands and sighed. Of course he would, he thought, But not if it was with you, Marc... Especially not you. Not after how angry and upset he was with what you did... and what I almost did.

As if he could read Keurin's mind, Marc said, "I'm... I'm so sorry I almost caused you to... to end your own life."

"It wasn't you, it was me. Let's please just not talk about that, okay?"

Marc nodded. "I'm sorry."

Keurin waved his hand dismissively.

"Can we start over/ Like we should've done when you came back? Without me forcing myself on you this time, that is."

"Sure... sure, Marc, I'd like that."

The canine smiled, his tail wagging slowly.

The pair then watched television, sitting close to one another. Neither spoke. Halfway through some terrible movie, Keurin leaned against his once-lover and rest his head on Marc's shoulder. The dragon's hair tickled Marc's nose. He remembered Keurin's scent; his lungs burned with nearly a decade old warmth; his heart pounding; hand going to Keurin's and clasping it; the dragon accepting this as he closed his eyes, turning his nose against Marc's neck, smelling his fur; the sweat of a long day's work; eyelids splitting to reveal amber; seeing the blond flakes of sawdust in the man's hair that twitched and swayed as Keurin let out a hard sigh through his nostrils; spying a gentle rosiness on Marc's cheek; a hand slipping up the back of Marc's damp shirt; fingertips parting burgundy fur; the shirt flying off; then a feeling of vertigo; eyes upwards toward the ceiling; head on the cushion; pressed down; lips parting; saliva; a tongue, rough and familiar; green eyes.

"Pinch me."

"What?"

"I don't want this to be a dream again... Ow!"

Marc spoke lowly, his lips against Keurin's; hot breath blowing across the dragon's snout. "Is this a dream?"

"No, this is real life."

"Thank God."

"You can't tell anyone."

"I won't."

"Good."

"Are we going to get back together?"

"No."

"Can we kiss?"

"Haven't we been kissing, Marc?"

"Can we sleep together?"

"No - not yet."

"I'm okay with this."

"Your crotch has already let me know that."

"I'm still a horny pup."

"Don't I know it."

"Should we stop?"

"Fuck you."

"That's what I'm getting at."

"Shut up."

"Don't be a bitch."

"You like me like this."

"God damn I do."

A kiss.

"You smell like cigarettes," Marc said.

"I'm trying to quit."

"Don't. I like it."

Marc's nose went to Keurin's neck. He sniffed, growled, and bit hard, drawing blood. Keurin groaned in ecstasy.

"You bastard."

"Horny pup."

"Still a bastard."

"Still a horny pup."

Blood trickled backwards down the dragon's neck, staining white fur red and lavender fur brown. Keurin ran his fingers through Marc's hair, tugging it. Marc growled again. No more words were said.

1. Nightmares

Marc left with a long gaze cast against Keurin. The dragon leaned against the doorframe, fighting every urge to call the man back and lead him to the bedroom. The four puncture wounds on his shoulder ached but no longer bled. They stared at one another until the very last moment as the elevator door slid shut.

When Keurin was alone and able to think properly, the horror of the last two hours hit him. He avoided the bedroom - he couldn't face the photo of he and Aderrian. He felt guilty and yet didn't; he wasn't sure if what he did was inherently wrong, or wrong instead because it might upset Aderrian, or Toby; no, fuck Toby. He'd lost his right to Marc when he lied and manipulated him.

But now what?

Wrong or not, it was still a mistake, and Keurin had to tell Aderrian. Keurin wrung his hands as he picked up his cell phone. The device felt so heavy and clumsy in his hands. Dialing Aderrian's number, too, proved to be a chore into itself - he had to redial three times before he got it right.

"Aderrian?"

Yes, Keurin?

"Yeah, it's me. I... I have to tell you something."

The dread and guilt in Keurin's voice made Aderrian hesitate for a moment. When he spoke, he did so softly:

What is it, Keurin? Are you okay?

"Yes, no. M..." Keurin paused. "Marc came by-"

What! Did he hurt you?

"No! No... the opposite... he apologized and asked me to explain what happened between me and Toby..."

What happened, then?

"He... we kissed."

Aderrian was silent. I understand, he said at length.

"You aren't angry?"

I'm angry, yes, hurt and upset too. Embarrassed.

"...Embarrassed?"

That I went over to his job and made a god damn fool outta myself only to find out you and he are sticking your tongues down one another's throats.

"Aderrian..."

It's okay, Keurin. I don't own you. We aren't together, and we won't be. You're free to do whatever you want, or whoever you want.

"Aderrian, it was a mistake; I don't want to be with Marc...

I wouldn't know.

"Aderrian!"

I gotta go.

"I want to be with you..."

We'll talk later after I can cool down and figure out if I can forgive you... and after you figure out what you want.

"Please don't go..."

Good bye, Keurin.

"...Bye."

The dragon stared blindly at the glowing image of the orca on his phone until the screen display shut off. He threw his cell hatefully onto his bed and groaned as if wracked by a physical pain. He lit a smoke immediately and sucked it down. Everything drifted in and out of focus, as if he was drunk or high. For a moment, he considered the possibility. No, no. That would be too convenient.

"I wanted Marc - I want Marc - I'm not under any influence except my own ignorance."