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Chapter 32: Withdrawn

The two had spent much of the remaining time studying what the wolf needed to study. Roger was very nearly thankful for the distraction, as he did not want to be put through much more torment than what he had already experienced. It was a studious Sunday, and the wolf seemed somewhat disappointed at the turn of events, but he always conceded.

They paused for lunch. Roger was thanked again for the food, and was assured that regardless of whether or not he had provided it, he was welcome to come over and stay at any time. Hunter inquired to if he could stay that night and just go with him to school the next morning, but asserted that he would be intruding upon their home, and that his parents would begin to miss him.

He was really unsure about whether or not that was true, but he just assumed in good judgment. Aside from that, he knew he needed some time to himself to think. While he did enjoy being around the wolf, it put a strain on him. He consistently struggled with himself, and he was tired. Related to that, he needed to figure out his feelings, in that he was unsure how, exactly, he truly felt.

He knew he could not avoid being the wolf's friend. Their relationship was seemingly set in stone at this point, and to back out on it would be remiss. He did not really want to, anyhow. He figured there was no benefit in pushing the wolf away.

They went back to studying after lunch. It was fairly peaceful.

Roger had gotten used to sitting on the wolf's bed instead of using a chair. It was much more comfortable, and Hunter seemed to encourage it. In fact, the wolf had offered a spot next to him, and when the fox accepted, he scooted next to the fox, establishing contact, if only from the side. He had smiled and wagged, as he usually did.

He felt the wolf's actions were simple enough, and he could not blame him for such small nuances. He did not expect to wolf, nor wanted the wolf, to know just what the physical contact did to the fox. He still felt ashamed by his involuntary reaction to it. He kept it to himself.

If it had a similar effect on the wolf, the fox saw no indication. Time after time, the wolf had seemed to surprise him with his actions, that he was extremely physical with him, and he was not used to it. It almost seemed as if the motions were intended for an entirely different type of friend, one that was a bit closer, as it were. However, the fox took into consideration the wolf's history as well as the wolf's time playing football, and he figured that it was just natural for him.

He knew there was no ulterior, mendacious motive to the wolf's actions, but he did not trust his own to be of the same standard. Then again, how could he really know such a thing? He considered it for a moment. He did not really know if the wolf liked females, but he did not really show a penchant toward males, either. His desires were unknown to the fox, though it did seem as if he at least liked him as a friend. Could there be more, though? He did not know.

He wondered to himself how he could possibly know when he did not know of his own feelings. He did not want to judge the wolf and determine his interests when his were so conflicted, as it were. He felt as if he were trying to cull a fire, but he was using oil. Everything seemed to aggravate the problem, instead of placating it.

He glanced at the wolf. Hunter's gaze was focused directly at the book he held in his paws, looking over the information in his attempt to apprehend it. They were close; the fox could feel the heat of the wolf's body on his side, and he felt the rise and falls when the wolf breathed. It was a quiet room.

For the most part, the fox was struggling. That was the primary reason for his departure for the night. He knew he could not last much longer being so close to the wolf and not losing his mind, or at least being unable to control himself. He felt he was the balloon, and his desires were the air. Soon he would burst, and he did not want to subject the wolf to such a spectacle.

It was a few hours past noon. He would soon take his leave, so as to find his way back, which was an easy task, but also to appease his ever so yearning parents. It made a good excuse, but whether or not it was true was irrelevant. The possibility of it being so was enough to validate his plans. The wolf was still sad to see him leave, but kept it to himself for the time being.

It was a bit of time before the fox felt that the wolf was getting a firm grasp on the mathematical concepts of which they had studied. It was enough to the point that the fox no longer needed to help him with the problems, but they were not necessarily difficult problems to begin with. It took even longer for Roger to teach him the other subjects, since they had only begun that day in such tutoring.

Hunter's brother came in every so often to grab a thing or two, but for the most part he was a taciturn visitor. The fox had not asked much about him, but he figured the wolf would tell him when the topic came up. He did not seem quite as introverted as Hunter was, though. He was still a young age, so perhaps things could change.

The fox made a motion with his tail as a sort of surreptitious concealment of his desires that had manifested themselves upon his lap. He grabbed the bag of which he had brought and began to put some clothes in them. He had yet to take a shower that day, but he had not done enough to start to smell too awful. All the same he still felt self-conscious about it, but the wolf denied smelling anything foul about it. He could have just been being nice, or perhaps he was being honest, the fox did not know.

It was time. The fox knew it and the wolf had hoped it would not come, but it came. They closed the books and put them on the desk. The fox collected his belongings and put them in his bag that he had brought. Suddenly he felt he did not want to go, but he had to, and he knew it, if not for his parents then for his own health.

The wolf walked him to the front door. Upon passing, Roger said his farewell to the smaller wolf and the mother. They waved a happy good-bye and mentioned that he ought to stop by again.

He stood outside the house. He began to depart, but his arm was seized and he was pulled back, turned, and embraced.

The wolf held him closely, said in his ear, "Thank you for coming over. I'll see you tomorrow?"

The fox nodded and returned the hug, then moved away. "Yeah, I'll see you in class, and after school probably."

Hunter gave a sad look, and then turned away, retreating back into the house.

Roger turned back toward the road and began his departure.