FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

This was originally done for my Freshman Comp course, and the story itself is unedited. The characters as written in the story are human, but if you like, you can think of Remi as an orange female fox, and myself as..well, myself. The story is fiction.

***

It was raining, with the cold stare of the November moon peeking out through the clouds, not as if watching over me but as if warning me. The rain was coming down hard, harder than it had all year, and I despised the idea of leaving the warm, dry comfort of my cozy sedan. I looked out at the neon lights welcoming others into the diner I parked beside, and I looked into the window, seeing the one I was waiting to meet. The one I was waiting to see again after so long, but being careful to avoid her gaze.

I turned off the engine, and pulled up my jacket a little. I opened the car door and stepped out, my boots already getting wet from the downpour. I closed the car door behind me and made my way into the diner, and one of the first things I noticed was how bright it was inside. Maybe it was just because it was so dark outside, but I never remembered it being so bright inside the diner.

"Just one tonight?"

I shook myself out of my fascination with the lights and looked to the hostess who I hadn't noticed walking in.

"No.. No, I'm meeting someone. She's right over there."

"Alright, then, I'll get you a menu and be right over." The hostess smiled and walked behind the counter.

I made my way to the booth where I saw her. Smiling, I slid into the seat across from her as she looked up to finally meet my gaze. There she was, her flowing orange hair coming down to her shoulders, her beautiful, as if hand-sculpted face looking up at me. Her deep blue eyes met my gaze and I reached my hand out to take hers.

Then I realized she wasn't smiling as I was. She retreated her hand under the table, breaking her gaze and looking out the window, not with any intent it seemed, but with a broken stare.

"Remi, what's wrong?"

She didn't reply. I gently gripped her hand and squeezed. "Remi.. Please, talk to me."

"Hi, welcome to our fine diner, what can I get for you two this evenin'?" I spun my head around to notice the waitress standing at the table, pen and paper in hand, waiting to take our order. I hadn't even looked at the menu yet, and for some reason I had the idea that Remi hadn't either.

"Uh.. I'll just have a water for now." I answered.

"Two." It was the first I had heard her voice in over a year. It still sounded as soothing and elegant as it did back then. My heart rose a little in my chest and I smiled at the sound of her voice.

"Well alrighty then, I'll be right back!" the waitress smiled and left the menus on the table, should we change our mind. She left to get us the water.

I let out a deep, heavy sigh and let go of her hand.

"How have you been?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she reached into her purse and pulled out a bottle of pills. Before I even had the chance to notice there wasn't a label on them, she uncapped it and popped a couple into her mouth.

"Leg." She said, and I gave her a slow nod.

"Have you had any progress with the doctors..?"

"I fell on the way in here three times. Everyone stared at me. Everyone laughed, I heard them." She finally looked back at me, staring at me, her gaze almost driving right through me.

"Hun, I don't think anyone would have laughed at you."

"They did. I heard them."

"Nobody would laugh at you for falling, especially with your leg pains."

She said something under her breath, and looked back out the window.

"..How are Seth and the others? Can I talk to one of them?"

"They're gone."

I gave another slow, understanding nod. "Did you get that.. treated? Do you not hear them anymore?"

"I killed them."

"You killed them? How? They were voices in your head, sweetie." I said, trying to keep my voice lower than I usually would.

"I killed them."

She continued to stare out the window, off into the darkness of the stormy night, as if trying to lose herself out there.

I let out a deep sigh, gently shaking her arm with my hand. "Alright.. Have you decided what you want to eat..?"

"Not hungry." She turned her head to stare at me again.

"What, did you eat dinner already? I told you not to be full before we met up, silly." I grinned a little, trying to be playful.

"I haven't eaten today."

"...Oh.." I dropped my gaze, looking down at the table, and for some reason taking note of the different cuts and scratches in the wood. A few of them seemed fresh, but I shrugged it off.

"Well.. I think I know what we can get for you." I called the waitress back over, the smiling, upbeat lady intruding on the somber mood.

"Have we decided then, hun?" the waitress asked me. I smiled at the endearing tone of her voice.

"Well, for me, I'll just have some fries and a soda, but for the lady here, how about a strawberry shake?" I glanced back at Remi to notice that she turned her head and seemed to pay attention to something other than the rain outside when I mentioned the shake.

The waitress smiled and turned away, going off to put the order into the computer, and I gently squeezed Remi's hand.

"It really is good to see you again, hun. I've missed you so much." She didn't say anything, of course, but I had a feeling she was starting to open up a little from her shell.

"So uhm.. What have you been doing? I've been going to school.. Unemployed right now but, well... I think I have something lined up here soon. Just waiting on the call, you know?" I smiled endearingly at her, once again gently shaking her hand, trying to get her to open up.

"Been home. Can't work. Cant study. Leg hurts." Her stare seemed to get a little colder, and I got the idea that she was not exactly very happy I had been better off than she was.

"I'm sorry.. Are you still living at home? With your folks? Are they taking care of you?"

"They kicked me out after I got angry at my brother for coming home high again. I broke his finger."

"...Oh.. Are you on your own then..?"

She nodded once.

"On disability and unemployment. It's quite nice, really, except for the fucking pains." I heard her growl under her breath, a hand going under the table to rub at her thigh. She winced, putting her hand back on the table.

"I'm sorry.."

"Don't feel sorry for me. I make do."

"You know.." I let out a deep, heavy sigh, rubbing the top of her hand with a thumb. "I miss you. I miss our time together. I'm.. sorry I got angry at you all that time ago. Over the stupidest things, too.. I've changed.. I'm better now."

"I'm not. I'm sorry." Her stare grew a little colder, and I felt it start to pierce my own, almost going through me. My heart sank in my chest, and I dropped my gaze down to my own hands, retreating them to my lap..

"I love you, Remi, and I want so much to help you. I really do. I know we had our..moments, but.. You meant a lot to me. You really did."

She growled at me, gripping my arm hard, her nails painfully pressing themselves into my skin. "No. Did you forget what being with me did to you? What it fucking made you do? I mean, fucking FORGET the emotional and mental abuse I put you through, what with taking out every fucking thing that happened to me on you." She lifted my arm up and tugged down on my jacket sleeve, revealing the scars on my forearm.

"I was young and stupid, Remi. I don't do that anymore."

"BECAUSE I LEFT YOU! BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOU ANYMORE WITH MY OWN FUCKING PROBLEMS!" She was growling again, breathing heavily and puffing up a little, staring at me.

Of course, by this point, we started to draw the attention of everyone else in the diner, so I sighed and pulled my jacket sleeve back down, gently taking her arm and releasing her grip on mine.

"..."

".... I should go." She grabbed her purse, slipping a twenty onto the table and she made her way out of the room, with everyone staring at her. She almost tripped once on a table leg, but nobody laughed like she said they had. She slammed the diner door open and the last thing I saw was her walking off through the rain, pulling her cell phone out for a few seconds, then putting it away, and she disappeared into the night.

I pulled my own phone out and pulled up her contact, and hit the Dial button.

"We're sorry, the person you are trying to call does not wish to receive calls from this number. Please try again later."

The waitress returned, setting the shake down on the opposite end of the table, and my fries on my end.

"Where'd your lady friend go? Off to the bathroom?" She hadn't noticed the money on the table apparently, so I just nodded.

"She wasn't feeling too well, she'll be out in a few minutes." I gave the waitress a fake smile, looking around the diner again. I noticed the lights weren't as bright as I thought they were.