Born This Way: Chapter 1

Story by Kalan on SoFurry

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#1 of Born This Way

-I always felt there was something off about me, from the time I was a cub I wasn't like other males my age, no matter how much my father wanted me to be. The final year of high school is supposed to be about finding out what you want to be and do, but for me, it's about finding out who I truly am beneath the lies that have been told to me. And in doing so, I fear I risk my family, my friends, and perhaps even myself...-

This story series is something I've toyed with doing for a long while. There are a lot of stories in my gallery about transformation and gendershifting, but I wanted to do something realistic with it. Not just 'bam magic vagina' but something that touches closer to home. This story series will have sexual overtones, romance, cross dressing, discovery, transformation as well as a caution that this will address close to home issues such as abuse, bigotry and violence.

This story will also run as a donation driven story, if you want to see more please donate, each donation will help chapters come out faster in between my commissions and will go towards illustrating part of this series. For once, this is not a buyable story line. ;) I know where I want this to go and hopefully I'll portray it well.

If you'd like to support this series and donate, you can do so via paypal to kalans.stories@gmail.com


"The Prohibition Act of 1962 was supported by the majority as a whole in the interests of integrating predators into our society after the case of the State Vs. Neil Thornstrip. It was the first Act that was passed with close backing of a major corporation." Ms. Heinrich spoke crisply as the screen changed to a picture of a celebration being held just outside of the White House. "The last date that meat was readily available in grocery stores was July 19th, 1963. Since then, all meat and fish have been regulated via NutriFaux Corporation in junction with the USDA."

I fought the urge to look at the clock that was slowly clicking towards the end of the class. I had to pretend to be interested in what the slender goat was talking about, like every other predator stuffed into the overheated classroom. The rank scent of half a dozen species' made me want to crinkle my lips back in disgust, instead I fought to breathe shallowly while writing down the dates that the teacher was pointing out. For once I felt confident in what she was teaching, it was one of the few things that my old man had raised me with. They had been outlawed from hunting for years before that, the only meat any of them had gotten was to carefully farm meat from the few species' that had never evolved to become a people. My father was always snarling that they should still have that right and that the grass-eaters were just trying to destroy our sense of self. Except, at the time crime had been on the rise, cults of predators had risen up trying to convince their people to go back to lives of hunting to eat. I really couldn't find fault in trying to stem it, especially after an entire family had been taken right down to the rabbit kits.

And still people bemoaned it. It was a null point, I didn't really understand the fuss my father made about it. I didn't mind the manufactured faux-meat that much, it tasted just fine to me, albeit a little chalky. Of course, my Dad also used that point as another reason to snarl at me. My younger brother complained often and loudly, mimicking him at nearly every meal that he wanted something better to eat. Perhaps I should have been bitching too, perhaps then my father would give me a look of approval, or at least not snarl at me at every chance. It had gotten worse since I entered into high school and puberty, it was a time any lion began to grow their mane out and became larger, heavier. My own father had a nearly black mane that ran all the way down his chest and towards his belly, it was his one striking feature. My mane hadn't come in, though. Well, not really, I had a thin strip of longer darker hair running right between my ears and down my neck, and it hadn't grown more than an inch wider in two years.

My mother blamed it on my diet, constantly trying to find ways to get contraband meat and fish to supplement my food. My father blamed it on the fact I had been a 'damned weak cub' since my first cry. He loved dragging the fact I had spent the first three years of my life in the hospital as a reason that I should have been shunned and abandoned. Even today I had a steady diet of various drugs that I took due to a heart condition. It didn't stop me from being fast and healthy, I was even on the track team, but I had never reached the height nor bulk of other lions my age. My younger brother showed no such issue, he was already my height and he was fourteen, nearly four years younger than I was! I sometimes suspected that our father was taking him fishing and hunting beyond the city walls. I used to be jealous, now I was just grateful that I didn't have to spend any more time with my old man.

"Shallen Nakintha!" The teacher's voice snapped me out of my remembered meal and I jerked up in my seat as the goat's slit pupiled eyes narrowed on me. "Would you share with the class what you find more interesting than your history?"

"N-No ma'am." I stammered and fought not to glance beside me for support from my best friend. "I was just day dreaming."

"As I was saying, the first years after the Prohibition set in were filled with trial and error to ensure a proper dietary supplement-" She continued on and I sank back in my chair, fighting the urge to look any more guilty than I felt.

I glanced to the side and found Ivan frowning at me, the wolf's ears pinned back flat to his head before he looked back up at the teacher. The wolf seemed more annoyed at the break in the class than in the fact that I had nearly gotten caught, but he was likely doing his best to keep under the radar this year. Last year he had been snagged by security beneath the bleachers with his former lady friend, a shy little chinchilla that had fur as soft as down. It had been a scandal for him and for the chinchilla. Mixed partnerships were not condoned in our small city, they weren't illegal, but they might as well have been given the way that some people behaved around here. Ivan had spent all summer being pushed around and snapped at, beaten up twice and I was almost positive his father had given him a licking for it as well. This year his goal was to keep his head down and graduate, nothing more and nothing less.

Neither one of us wanted to be in this class, actually, no one in this entire room wanted to be here, but it was a required course for graduation. Any and all predators were required to go through The Rise And Fall Of Carnivores In Society. Not that they really dwelled on the rise of our culture, they mostly just stuck with the fact that we had been a barbaric race that had spent nearly a thousand years gleefully killing and eating anything that couldn't get away. They didn't go into our heritage or the civilizations we had built, it just concentrated on why we were better off being ruled over and why we were given so many restrictions. Every predator went through the class, the only ones that were allowed to elect out were the ominvores who only attended if they wanted to.

"Alright, that ends today's class. I want you to all do the assigned reading over the weekend, and make sure that you don't forget that the final is three weeks away." Ms. Heinrich flicked the lights on in the classroom. "You can see me about extra credit in my office between five and seven pm today."

I tried not to groan in relief as I stood up and hastily snapped my notes closed. I couldn't stand another minute in the hot classroom, I was struggling against the urge to start panting in the heat. This place in summer was one of the few times I was grateful that my mane hadn't grown in properly yet. I couldn't imagine boasting my father's heavy head of fur and sit in the stuffy room. Even Ivan with his snowy fur looked wilted as he gathered up his own notes and twitched his eras back against his head. There were plans on building a new school next year, but by next year I would be finally out of here! At least I could look forward to rooms with chilly AC in college,

"You were daydreaming." He gave me a long look before snorting. "If you keep this up she's going to try and hold you back, you know Heinrich is brutal when it comes to drilling this stuff into our heads."

"The hell I will." I narrowed my eyes a bit as I shoved my books into my bag. "Besides, we only have a few more weeks left. If I survived the World War, I can get through the Prohibition."

"Hmmph, you got through the World War because it was winter and comfortable in here. You go stupid when you get too warm." Ivan waited to let me catch up as we joined the crush to get out into the halls. "You going to come over to the Packhouse?"

"I wish I could." I fought not to lash my tail behind me we stepped out into the open courtyard and the breeze ran along the short mohawk of fur that constituted my mane. "I gotta head home, though."

Ivan twitched his thick tail, the smallest hint of disapproval, but didn't say anything else. He didn't like my old man, not in the least bit. We'd grown up across the street from each other and been friends from the start, but my father had been rude from the start. Ivan's father and mine had gotten into several fights, twice had gotten the cops to our door. The Relocation Program was supposed to help ensure that lions didn't form prides and canine's didn't form packs, but all it really did was make for species tension when we were all shoved together. Sometimes it worked, but my old man was a good old fashioned bigot in the worst meaning of the word. Not that we were the only ones suffering with integration, every species was. It was a new age, the Age of Reason and Responsibility is what my philosophy professor called it.

In the last fifty years there had been a movement to establish solid family units and do away with the old beliefs of the past. Most species' had a strong sense of herd or pack or flock, it had grown with them until they had evolved, but modern society no longer had a need for that. They were beginning to crack down on the laws of child support and adultery. A male could no longer have more than one wife, that was all they could safely support. It was starting to settle down now, but certain city divisions worked on making sure that entire blocks didn't turn into single species'. Though, I had to say, they were doing better than my family was doing with it. My Dad was never happy unless he was snarling or starting fights with one of the neighbors.

"Jonty probably needs help with his homework." I brought up my younger brother as a card that would stop the tension from starting on my best friend's shoulders. "You know he's failing out of math."

"Yeah, I guess." Ivan relaxed and pricked his ears back up. "Well, just don't let him smack you around got it? He's getting fucking mean lately. My Dad said he pissed on our fence the other day."

I fought the urge to deny it, it wouldn't do any good. My Dad often got drunk and decided to mark his territory like some sort of feral. "He's never sober enough to hit anyone anymore. I'll swing by the Packhouse tonight if I get a chance, alright?" I offered, perking up at the idea of hitting the coffee shop that catered mostly to preds.

I gave him a wave with one paw before making a bolt towards the edge of campus, ignoring the few people that gave me annoyed looks. The trolley only ran to the Square until seven, which meant I was scrambling to catch it before it took off. Otherwise I'd have to take the bus which took me twice as long to get home. Getting in late would only ensure that I had to endure another lecture. As I swung up into a seat and swiped my card through the machine I felt a familiar tension starting along the line of my back. Home was a place of safety for many people, especially in the upset world that we lived in, but to me home was nearly hell. School was my retreat, school and Ivan's house when his father let me over.

~ ~ * ~ ~

The Square used to be housing for people who worked in the factories back during the World War, hastily built one story buildings that were all patterned after the same three designs. It was now low income housing for those that couldn't afford to pay regular rent, the houses were falling apart and the paint peeling along the edges in many spots. It was the sort of area that the gangs had taken over and ran after dark, where children were warned to avoid even if they had an adult with them. It wasn't unheard of to wake up to the sound of gun fire or screaming in the middle of the night. It was the only place my family could afford to live, my father refused to work and sat on a check sent to him for a work related injury nearly a decade ago. My Mom got a job at a local gas station, but that was hardly enough to make sure that her family of four could live in a decent home, so we were all crammed into a single two bedroom home that was the color of an overcooked egg yolk. Nearly the entire neighborhood were predators of one sort or another, the few herbivores that were cast in with us were pure trash.

I crossed the fence that was sagging at an angle and fought the urge to hunch my shoulders when I spotted my father's rusted out old car. It wasn't surprising that he was home, but there was always the hope that he had gone out with one of his buddies or passed out a bar. As soon as I reached the screen door I could smell it, the acrid bite of alcohol on the air mixed with cigarette smoke. The first smell was awful, I hated it, it always made me sick to my stomach, but it also meant that I didn't have to remain so tense as I pushed through the front door. The TV was on and blasting the races as I blinked my eyes a few times to adjust to the darkness of the living room and the form that was sprawled out on the couch. It didn't matter that it was four in the afternoon, the old lion was piss ass drunk, his eyes lidded and glazed as he barely followed what was on the TV.

"Hey Dad.." I tried to deepen my voice a touch as I stepped through the living room, my tail tip twitching nervously.

"Nnf..." He lifted his eyes to look at me and curled an upper lip. "What the fuck you doin' home already?"

"Schools out." Short sentences, that was the best way to deal with him. The less said, the less he could take offense too.

"Where the fuck is your brother?" He shifted on the couch, his eyes sharpening as he tried to focus on me.

Once upon a time he had been handsome. My mom had shown me pictures of them when they'd dated. He had been magnificent even by lion standards, he had been a football player and excelled in baseball. He had been muscular and clean looking with a golden pelt and an onyx mane that any lioness would have turned her head at. Somewhere along the line, though, he had fallen down from that pinnacle into the mess he was in now. He was growing soft along the middle, the weight giving him a paunch that sagged over his jeans, his chest was no longer toned, but had a layer of fat to it. His dark mane was still as thick and heavy as it always had been, but it was also stiff and ragged looking. It took too much effort to condition and brush it out, or perhaps it took too much sobriety.

"At practice, Dad. Remember? Baseball?" Jonty would probably be home in an hour or so, which gave me some free time before I had to do homework with him.

"Oh... yeh.." He moved a hand to scratch his mane, his eyes glancing down towards the half empty case of beer before reaching down. "Least one cub can get into a real sport. What are you gawping at me for, eh?"

The last was a bit slurred as he picked up another can and I clamped my muzzle shut, I knew better than to answer. I made a bolt for the bedroom I shared with my brother, escaping the living room as there was a hiss and crack as he worked on yet another can of beer. Sometimes I could vaguely remember him when I was a lot younger, he hadn't always been like this. He hadn't always been pounding beers from the time he woke up, but it seemed like some sort of pipe dream when it was all said and done. As I stepped into the messy room I shared with my brother I reached back and firmly shut the door behind me, thumbing the latch into place with a sigh.

I'll never grow up to be like him... I promised myself, yet again. I leaned back against the door and let my bag fall down onto the floor before drawing in a breath.

Jonty and I had been in the same bedroom our entire lives, we had even been in the same bed up until three years ago and our Aunt Simone had given us bunk beds for Christmas. It was the best gift that I'd ever gotten being able to call a bed my own. Here was our sanctuary away from the snarls and abuses of our father. We even had a lock on the door thanks to Mom, she had insisted that growing lads needed privacy. I could even forgive her for hinting that we would likely be hiding girls away in our room to make sure that our old man agreed. He had grinned at the time, I remember him looking at Jonty and me smugly before launching into a rather lewd and loud conversation about how we should look for females now that we were of age. But it had gotten us our lock, it meant that we no longer had to worry about someone just walking into the room when we weren't expecting them. Hell, Jonty might just come in here with a girl now and then, but not me. Never me.

That was the secret of my life, the one I held so close to me that sometimes I even doubted it existed myself. I would never have a girl in here. Even thinking about it sent a shiver of dread down my spine as I walked to the desk where our used laptop was plugged in. I briefly caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and grimaced at what I saw, I had begun to hate my reflection lately. The stiff bristle of mane along my head gave me a punkish look, but an edge of hair had started to crawl towards my cheeks in a line. I had noticed them the other day, the short hairs blossoming through the soft smooth fur of my body. I was too slender looking and the way I moved was wrong as well, I just didn't know why it felt that way. As I peeled off my shirt I saw the one part of my body I enjoyed, perhaps because it was so like my mother and not like my father. A subtle dappling along my tawny back that became darker when the sun hit them, I'd never lost the dapples as I grew up, and I loved them.

I threw my shirt on the bed and sank in the chair to look at the laptop, arousal and dread building up together as I opened it up. A few punches of the keys and the browser opened up with more pornography than any person could ever go through, all logged through a guy who had set up an account and allowed others to use it for a small fee. It held everything from predator on prey to guy on guy to girl on girl and kinks that I didn't even know existed, but I flicked over to the predator section unerringly. My ears twitched back on my head as I looked at the lewd display of videos and pictures that flashed their offers at me. I unerringly clicked on a video of a large black jaguar advertised as fucking a lioness, but it was for the jaguar that I clicked it. His eyes were a dark emerald and seemed inviting as the video began to load and I unbuttoned my pants with a shivery breath. The confusion mounted as the video opened up to a lioness cast on her back, her fingers pushing in and out of herself.

I wasn't gay, at least, I never really thought of myself as gay. I didn't want to see some guy getting ass fucked on the screen, that did nothing for me, because I had tried repeatedly. If I were gay I would have been able to talk to someone, there was an entire group at school to help teens who were attracted to the same sex. My desire was muddled with the lioness as I moved my hand down and slipped a paw into my pants to rub along my sheath. I tried to concentrate on the lioness, I tried to focus on the way that her paws moved along her body, but I didn't feel the rush of desire and need that other guys had to feel. I tried to imagine myself leaning over her, pushing her hands away and driving into her slickened body, but it didn't do anything to get me worked up. Just like it hadn't the other times that I'd tried to play this game.

Just concentrate on her... I tried to tell myself, as I had a hundred times in the past. I tried to will the attraction to that form, but it didn't work.

Instead, I fondled my sheath and tried to mimic the way her fingers worked along her breasts, my palm gliding down the creamy pouch until I could feel the tip of my cock edging out into the light in response to the stimulus. My fingers even stretching down to caress along the swell of my balls as I pushed my pants down lower on my hips. In that regard, I was a total failure to my father and probably any male. I was just a shade below average in all ways beneath my waist, standing just four and a half inches long with a modest set of balls. I'd seen enough porn that I knew most lions weren't hung like horses, but they were well over my length. I tried to push the thoughts away as there was a flash of black and the jaguar padded into the scene on all fours, his eyes lidded and resting on the randy lioness as she played with herself.

He moved as if he were made of water, the rippling black fur dark and soft looking as he moved onto the bed and ran his hand up along her thighs so that the female jerked her head up. Her eyes were wide as if she weren't expecting him, and I watched her ears turn red while the jaguar's fingers slid up along the line of her legs. My cock flexed against my belly, pushing out and thickening to the point I could use my fingers to work up around the tip and the dribble of precum. He dragged her towards the edge of the bed, tugging her as he stood up higher and showed off the length of his glistening cock. It stood well past his belly button, the fleshy barbs lifted up and away from the cock tip as the lioness squirmed beneath his hold. I squeezed my cock and bit back a groan as I worked my hand up and over the spines of my cock, tugging at them so I felt a jolt of confusing pleasure when the jaguar moved his hand down to push his fingers into the female's body.

My ears twitched back flat to my head as I huffed out another breath. As always, I seemed to produce an almost ludicrous amount of precum, the tip dribbling over the edge as my fingers pumped up and down around the tip. I was lost in the sight of the tawny body writhing on the bed, but I wasn't imagining being above her, I was imagining him. His dark form and the press of his fingers in places that I didn't possess. My heart was beating in my cheeks as I didn't think about them going beneath my tail, I knew what that felt like, I had used my fingers on myself before, but that wasn't what I wanted. It was a jumbled confused mess as I bit my lower lip hard and began to pump my hand up and down along my shaft faster, my cock throbbing and flinging out a splatter of precum right against my belly. The jaguar on the screen was pumping his fingers faster as the female soundlessly cried out on the mute screen, her back bowing up from the bed in an uncontrollable manner.

As the heat rushed to my ears and he moved her legs apart, pushing her back on the bed with his lips bared in a mock snarl I stopped caring what I was thinking about. My eyes were glued to the screen as I hunched forward in my chair and felt a shudder run down me when the camera zoomed in. The thick feline cock was pulsing and throbbing as he leaned forward and nudged up and down along the lionesses folds. I could see them catching on the inner lips, dragging around the bud of her clit, I could almost imagine the slow caress of them being lifted up and smoothed down again. I let out a groan and shuddered, eyes fluttering shut for a moment as I began to work up and down my shaft, kneading my fingers automatically. When I opened them, my entire body went stiff as I watched him sinking forward, her lips spreading open around him in high definition as he spread her open wide.

The camera panned out, showing her arching as he pushed down against her and sank himself home with a final rolling thrust of his hips. My finger convulsed around the base of my cock, pushing upwards in a motion that felt off, but my body was already worked up. It was pounding with a rush of heat and need as my eyes remained fixed on the camera. I could almost feel him above me, feel his paws reaching down to grip my hips so that I lifted up to meet him as his tongue lowered to trail around my nipple. I could feel him plunging into me, working ever deeper, dragging back outwards with a light caress of fleshy barbs that brought my body from the bed. A splatter of precum ran along my knuckles as I arched up from the chair and felt my orbs contracting.

It was a blurring moment, my body flaring hotly as I muffled a snarl of pleasure as the first splatter of slippery cum spilled onto my belly. The movements felt foreign and off, every touch of my fingers were creating the wrong sensations in the wrong spots, but it didn't matter. Rope after rope of it painted my fingers and belly, smearing along the fur as I trembled in that height of pleasure, my teeth gripping my lower lip hard enough I nearly drew blood. Through it all I imagined him plunging into me, his warmth pressed against me, his paws caressing my writhing body as he worked me through my orgasm. His lips on my breasts, his claws caressing the sweep of my hips and belly, his balls clapping against my soft curved ass cheeks. That was the vision I brought with me as I came down from my orgasm, shaking as I dropped back into the chair and leaned my head back and my jaws remained spread.

I moved my hand away from my cock, feeling the sticky cum on my fingers as I reoriented myself and the glowing edge began to fade away. I felt a rush of shame and confusion beating on my mind when I sat up and hastily clicked out of the website, my ears beet red beneath the fur. As I cleaned up my belly and hand I tried not to think about what I had done, again. No, I wasn't gay, I didn't want a guy that way. I didn't know what I was, but even among the outcasts I was an outcast. It was the secret I didn't dare let anyone know, not even Ivan. How could they ever understand just how wrong I felt in my own body?