A Failed Duty - Chapter 3

Story by Mewjen on SoFurry

, , , , , , , , , ,

#3 of A Failed Duty

The morning after losing your virginity is always an interesting moment, especially when you are still trying to figure your feelings for your best friend.


Disclaimer: The following will contain homosexual individuals and relationships and may be an interesting commentary on life, death, immortality, God, gods and various religions. No offense is intended and if you cannot handle it, please discontinue reading rather than blaming me. This is copyrighted to me (mewjen(at)ymail.com), so no using it without my permission and no stealing it (any profits must be shared). This is a work of fiction. Any likenesses to persons, places, and so on, real or imagined, living or dead is purely coincidental.


Act I - Part 3

THE next thing Anubis heard was a loud ringing that was quickly silenced. An hour or so later, Jaller disturbed his peace once more.

"Oh shit!"

A wave of bedding was thrown on him, as the recoil of the bed shook him violently. He moaned his discomfort.

Jaller, who had been continuing to swear, quickly repositioned the bedding. "Sorry," he said meekly. He continued to hastily move around the room, though without the expletives.

Anubis opened his eyes slightly to find Jaller throwing clothes out of his closet. He pulled the covers over his head, moaning again, though this time partially because the throbbing from his rear had reached his head.

"You know for a sun-watcher, you never seem to want to rise." Jaller walked over to the jackal and pulled the covers off his head.

Anubis groaned and lazily stuck out his tongue, which Jaller captured, as he kissed the jackal.

When they parted, Anubis grumbled out, "You're the one who violated me."

"You climbed on top of me," Jaller smirked, as he stood back to button up his shirt.

"You have to go, don't you?" the jackal mumbled, with a slight sadness in his voice.

"Yeah." Jaller took Anubis's hand. "Look...I don't want to leave you right now. Last night was a big step, and I don't want you to feel used or abandoned. But I don't want to get fired either."

"Go, I understand..." Anubis closed his eyes and continued to grumble incoherently, as he pulled the covers back over his head, until there was a loud slap of something being set down on the nightstand next to his head. He peeked one eye open to see a tube of what looked to be lotion.

"For your rear. Apply liberally and make sure you coat inside."

Anubis grunted and closed his eyes again.

Jaller leaned over and after a short fight to free the covers, kissed the jackal's cheek. "I'll see you at the wall tonight."

Anubis breathed in Jaller's scent and rolling over, "You know you smell like sex, right?"

"Oh, kill me now!"

"No."

THE smack of the wet towel against the back of his head was what finally made the jackal sit up. An action he immediately regretted. Standing didn't feel any better. "Why did I let him inside me?"

He wobbled his way to the bathroom, were he found a bath already drawn, and thankfully at just the right temperature. He moaned, as the warm water soaked into his fur. He was even more grateful to Jaller when he found a small stool resting at the bottom of the water, which supported his body nicely, while keeping his weight off that particular part of his hindquarters.

He lazily wagged his tail in the water. "May be not so bad after all."


A year-younger Anubis paced the gates of the inner core of Tem. "I have to. I have to. Jaller needs me."

It was the day of Jaller's graduation, and Jaller had insisted he attend the ceremony. It was also the same ceremony during which Jaller would be told his task. The same task that would probably separate them. He was not sure what upset him more, the crowd or losing the person he was closest to.

"I can do this. I have to do this." He walked through the gates. He even made it through the first crowded street. "Jaller, you owe me big time for this," he said, after taking several deep, calming breaths.

As he made his way closer to the place where the ceremony was to be held, the crowds got denser and denser, until he couldn't move without being jostled. Everyone was moving in on him. His heart pounded. His breathing was quick and shallow. The air around him was being sucked away. Light became darkness. His rational mind disappeared and he ran, tears falling. "I'm sorry, Jaller."

LATER that evening, Anubis opened the door to his house to find his caregiver, Elisa, sitting near the door, waiting for him. "Do you know where Jaller is?" he asked, avoiding her gaze. "I went over to his house, but his parents shut the door as soon as they opened it."

Elisa stood up and gently wrapped her arms around him. She waited for him to raise his head. Her gaze was gentle and mournful. "You should have been there."

"I tried. There were just so many..." he replied weakly.

"He's in your room," she said softly. "He will be staying for a little while."

Anubis looked at her quizzically. "Why?"

Elisa simply put her hand on his back and guided him out of the room.

AT his bedroom door, he found his best friend sprawled on his bed, crying. "Jaller, what happened?" He rushed to his friend's side.

Jaller shrugged off the jackal's touch. "You weren't there."

"I..." Anubis fell silent. He tried to stroke Jaller's arm, but Jaller shot up.

They stared into each other's eyes. "I needed you." His eyes were red and puffy. "You weren't there." His head fell onto the jackal's chest, as his sobs renewed. "I needed you."

Anubis wrapped his arms around Jaller. He lowered his head to Jaller's and gently rocked his hurting friend. "Tell me."

"I can't go home. I have no home. I ref......I didn't receive a task. I told them I lo--I...I.... I don't know what to do. Please, stay. Please." Jaller clutched the jackal tightly.

"I am not going anywhere." Anubis sighed deeply. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I tri...I tried. I failed you."

A while later, after his sobs had stopped, Jaller remained cradled in his best friend's arms. "How far did you make it?" He spoke almost normally, but his sorrow still etched his features.

"A few blocks."

Jaller brought his head up to Anubis's. "Really?"

"For you." Their eyes met briefly, before Anubis ducked his head down in shame.

Jaller chuckled lightly. His eyes lingered on Anubis's face, especially his lips, before he leaned forward and kissed the jackal's cheek. "Thank you for being here now."

Anubis blushed under his fur, after such intimate contact. He almost smiled, before his mind return to its previous train of thought.

"I won't mess up again," he said, trying to show his conviction. "I care about you too much...I will be there...I swear."

"Don't push yourself too hard," Jaller said, his arm still on Anubis's shoulder. "This is not your fault."


Anubis thought back to that moment, as he dried himself. They had fallen asleep holding each other that night. He had never been so intimate with anyone before or, as he looked back sadly, since. That was until last night.

"I won't mess this up. Not again."

ANUBIS kept his head down, as he walked home. He swore everyone was staring at him, as he tried to ignore the discomfort coming from under his tail. Every noise and breeze sounded like their hushed tones, as his mind pieced together their contempt. He was so afraid to look up that he nearly smashed his head into a wall, when he forgot to turn. He stopped, inches from the stonework. He stayed there for a minute, afraid to turn, afraid to see the truth.

When he looked around, he found no one was even glancing in his direction. The only person paying any attention to him was a little old man, who grew concerned when he saw someone almost walk headlong into a solid, clearly visible stone wall.

Jaller was right. He was ashamed of his feelings.

HE sat at the table across from Elisa, wincing as he tried to find a comfortable position on the hardwood chair.

"I take it that you and Jaller had fun," she spoke with a half-smile.

"How...?" he asked in surprise.

She gave a soft chuckle. "The only person who didn't know how you felt for him was you," she smiled warmly.

"And Jaller? How long did you know...?" he asked, not prepared for her level of insight, considering it had been less than a day since Jaller and he confessed their feelings.

"Most did not want to see where his true affections lay, but just as long as you," she replied.

The way she answered led him to ask, "And when he lived here?"

"He publicly refused his task, because it meant leaving you. He made quite the spectacle of declaring his love. His parents and the Council did not take kindly to that knowledge. He closed a lot of doors in his life for you," she said with a slight frown.

"I love him." Anubis smiled at his words. "It has taken too long for me to say that, even to myself. I don't know if I am right for him. He so.... And I'm not.... He asked me to marry him, and I don't know what to do. He has done so much for me. Can I ask anymore of him? Will I ruin his life? Can I force him to live in isolation, if I say yes?"

Elisa took a moment before replying. "Sometimes you have to stand together against the world."

"I'm not that strong." The jackal shifted uncomfortably.

"Are you strong enough with him, is the question," she returned.

Anubis's foot began twitching uncontrollably, as he let his nervousness take over. "The more I think about it, the more fearful I become."

"What does your heart tell you?" she pushed.

"I want to live my life with him. I want to protect him." His brain hung there for a moment, before he continued, growing more panicked with every word. "But I can't. He's already been hurt because of me. I'm a failure. I'll never be...good enough." His eyes explored her face, searching for something to end his confusion. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do. What is best for Jaller? What is best for me? Help me...help him. I..." Anubis tailed off into incoherence, until Elisa smacked her hand on the center of the table, forcing him to focus.

"Anubis!" She spoke firmly. "No one can choose this for you. It is up to you. Will being with him make you happy?"

"Yes," he responded without hesitation.

"Will being with you make him happy?" she continued.

"I believe so."

"Then regardless of what anyone says, you two can never be alone, as long as you have each other." She reached over and took his hand. "Anubis, you can choose to live alone forever, or you can spend your life with someone who loves you and who you love. It is that simple."

"And if I hurt him, again?" he asked, still showing his worry.

"Then the two of you will work through it," she said. "Together."

"Together." Anubis paused for a long time, letting himself fully grasp its meaning.

When he spoke again, he did so more to end the silence than anything else. "Why are you so accepting, when no one else is? Shouldn't you be pushing me away from him?"

Elisa smiled proudly at him. "I have looked after you your entire life. I want my son to be happy, and I don't think you should be forced to give that up, just because your happiness does not conform to someone else's view. Do what is right for you. That is all anyone should expect. Besides, you make a cute couple."

Anubis blushed at her compliment.

She stood up and left the room. When she returned, she held an old box that Anubis had not seen for a very long time in her hands. "I have kept this safe for you. I think it is time for you to hold on to it."

Anubis looked at her, trying to read her intentions, but she just smiled and left him to his thoughts.

JALLER was in a hurry, as he made his way to the western wall. He had been caught up in a rather lengthy conversation with his boss, about the possibility of him moving up a position and pay grade, which was hindered by him arriving an hour late. Supporting himself and An was not going to be easy, and An finding work within his comfort zone would be even harder. He sighed deeply, as he paused to remove a rock from his shoe. "At least I will have him."

"You hope." Jaller jumped at the stern voice. He whipped around to find the Grand Elder staring at him.

"Go away and leave me be." He turned his back on her and continued on his way.

"I cannot, until you accept your duty," the Grand Elder replied, following Jaller.

"And I have told you my one condition," Jaller retorted.

"You cannot represent our people with such a sign of weakness." The Grand Elder spoke in a completely diplomatic monotone, hiding all emotions. "The councils will never allow it."

Jaller turned back to her and yelled. "He is my strength, and I will not give him up! Just because the idiots on the Council think, I am weak. I'm in love, just like anyone else. Let me be with him, and I will become your ambassador. Otherwise, I will choose him every time. So find someone else."

She stood her ground and maintained her calm veneer. "For most, it does not matter if they fulfill their task, but for some, they must put their task and their people ahead of their selfish desires."

Jaller became further enraged. "If it is selfish to want to be with the ones you love, then what is family? You are not asking for months of the year. You are asking for my life and I will not give up my freedom. I will be with Anubis forever."

"He will never choose you, if he knows the truth," she stated, matter-of-factly.

"You're wrong." Remembering what happened was enough to calm Jaller down. "He didn't push me away. You forced me to do that which I had been afraid to do, and for that, I thank you, because he loves me."

"And now you rush to prove it. That is not love. Consummation will only tie the council's hands."

"Leave us alone," Jaller begged warily, "and let us live in peace."

"I plead with you, do not let this escalate." Her tone changed, and seemed more desperate. "It will only cause you pain."

Jaller walked back to her and bowed his head, showing respect. "I am sorry the council chose you to be their voice and for the way I have treated you because of it. But I will not submit to anyone...but An."

Jaller sighed deeply, before he continued. "I can't keep doing this. I finally have my chance with An, and I will not screw this up. He is my priority, and this argument needs to stop interfering."

"Jaller, you cannot move forward with him," the Grand Elder said with concern. "The High Council will take action against Anubis, if this goes on much longer."

"What?" Jaller said with surprise.

The Grand Elder sighed. "They told me last week. He will be ostracized from our society, forbidden contact with anyone of rank."

Jaller spent some time thinking about what that would mean to Anubis. "How is that any different from how he acts now? He doesn't get along with anyone but me."

"You are of rank," she replied.

"So it's a meaningless threat," Jaller stated, "especially if we were married."

"There is one with that authority, and he does not want you together."

"I don't care," Jaller said with newly found authority. "They can make all the threats they want, but they will not drag us apart. I will be with him, and we will find happiness on our own. Make sure they understand. I am done with this discussion, until they allow us to stay together."

Jaller waited for the Grand Elder's response. When nothing came, he turned to leave.

"Take care of him," she said, just before he stepped out of the range of her voice. "I cannot bless your union, but I do wish you happiness. Goodbye, Jaller. The councils will not concede, but I have. Tell Anubis, 'I am sorry.'"

Jaller turned to watch her leave, somberly. By the rules and traditions of her station, he would never see her again. She had been a better parent than either of his own. He would miss the talks they had once had, before he had been told his life's duty.

THE sun had already set, when he found Anubis leaning against the wall. He took his place next to the jackal and leaned his head on the warm shoulder. He felt Anubis turn and an arm wrap around his body. "What's wrong?" he heard that loving voice say.

"Nothing." He paused. "An, I shouldn't have pushed you last night. We can take as long as you need. Go on a few dates or whatnot. I just need you in my life."

He felt the jackal stroke his cheek, coaxing their eyes to meet. "I think we've been dating for a long time. I was hoping to do this during the sunset, to be a bit more romantic. But whatever. I love you, Jaller. I want to spend my life with you. I want to make you happy when you're sad. I want to protect you, to hold you and watch day turn to night and night to day." Jaller felt the jackal's hands fiddle around his neck. He felt the necklace settle into place. "I want to be your mate, your husband, your lover, and forever, your friend."

He took the necklace in his hand and looked at it. It was a gold pedant, engraved with Anubis's family crest. "AN, this is..."

"The only thing I truly have to my name."

"I...I can't...this is...." Jaller was speechless.

"I want you to have it. It's the only thing my family ever gave me. You are precious to me. You're my family now."

Jaller's heart welled, as his eyes began to water. He closed his eyes and hugged the jackal, his jackal, tightly. At some point, their lips met. This is what happiness is, Jaller decided in that moment.

When they parted, Jaller took An's hand in his own, as they began to walk to his, to their home. He paused at the entrance to the city. Looking back at the horizon, he pondered, "You know the sunset lost its romantic appeal a long time ago, but I think I like dusk a lot more now."

Anubis just chuckled and pulled Jaller forward.


Author's Note: I hope you have enjoy reading this chapter and will continue to enjoy the upcoming chapters. I really enjoyed writing Anubis waking-up/refusing-to-wake-up. It is based on real-life experience. I wanted to add a note that Jaller is the only made-up character (and I never decided his species, which is why it's never mentioned) and these are the only two characters I do not name properly (initially).

Thank you for reading for chapter. While you are here, please rate and/or comment. Your feedback is the only gauge I have for making this story better, and knowing if this story is even enjoyable for anyone else.