A Soldier's Heart Chapter Nine: John

Story by Lupus Solitarius on SoFurry

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#9 of A Soldier's Heart

A extremely late segment of my story. I apologize for being late. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Feel free to leave comments and votes as that will help my writing!


A cold draft rushed against my furs as the large double-doors in front of us opened. I, along with twenty-one other canines, marched single file into a fairly large auditorium. Standing on the stage behind a podium was the arctic fox I had met earlier today, Dr. Tillman. I noticed the Shepherd, Parker, standing behind her to the side. The Arctic fox watched us with her keen, icy blue eyes, almost as if she was inspecting us all one by one. We were directed to our seats by furs in uniforms. We sat down and waited patiently. I was seated between two male canines, one large muscular rottweiler and the other a German Shepherd that was a bit smaller than me. The shepherd gave me a slight smile, but I simply nodded in acknowledgment. In the next moment, the female fox at the podium cleared her throat and the room fell dead silent. The doors, which we had walked through, closed without a whisper.

"Welcome to Storm Base, recruits. You have been selectively chosen for the military project codenamed, WOLVERINES. Your training will be hard. You will endure much pain. You will overcome obstacles you never thought possible. You will be the best soldiers our country has ever trained. You will end a war and prevent the loss of thousands of lives," Dr. Tillman spoke with great confidence. She halted her dictation and took a little pause, as if she was...thinking to find the right words to say. I looked around the auditorium, many of the furs looked very interested, their ears perking and eyes trained on the Arctic fox. But as I surveyed the listening crowd, I came to the conclusion that these furs...seemed to be just average. I mean some of them were muscular and athletic like the rottweiler next to me, but that was just average big. What had made these individuals so special to be selectively chosen to be this supposed Wolverine? What had made me a "valid" candidate for this project?

I ended my judgmental cogitations and focused on the doctor when she finally began to speak again. "But time is short I'm afraid. I will have to ask you to sacrifice something, something from you that I have no right in taking away from you." She paused to take a deep breath before continuing. "This is your home now; we cannot let you leave. There is not enough time. I am sorry. But this project, this nation, needs you. A threat is rising in the East and we must confront it. This threat challenges our freedom, and whenever our liberty is threatened, we must step up to defend it. You will be the guardians of the United States of America. But if you are to face this threat and succeed, you will need much training. We cannot let you visit your family, not until we have guaranteed our victory." The fox paused again, this time to let the information sink in.

I was too stricken with disbelief to even say anything. I felt the dread begin to seep into my heart. I couldn't visit Derek. I won't be able to come back to him and see his handsome face. To see his smile, to hear his voice and his laugh. I looked around the auditorium frantically, hoping that there would be a sign that told me I had heard it wrong, but the other furs too had disbelief etched onto their features. The canines next to me had started to breathe heavily. I realized that my breathing had quickened too. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then another.

Dr. Tillman voice broke the uneasy silence, "I know this is hard for you. And the challenges you will be soon facing will be difficult. But you have to do this, to protect your families and your country. Sometimes, what you actually need to do to help the people you love, is to separate yourself. I know it doesn't seem to make sense, but in the end you will see." Her last statements stung me. I winced in remembrance of what I had done.

"It is getting late, Wolverines. Rest now, you have much work to do tomorrow." We all stood and the soldiers began herding us to the door. Some of the furs, as they walked to and through the door, continued to look back at the fox who had just condemned them. I looked quickly back at the doctor just before I walked through the door and our eyes met briefly. Her blue eyes were filled with sadness and guilt, and weariness. That was all I could see before she turned and began talking to Parker, who had been standing stoically behind her. Soon the large doors had closed, and I could no longer see the person who had just taken my life away.

* * * * *

My heart pounded rapidly, my muscles groaned, and my breaths came ragged as a willed my body to keep pace with the wolf drill sergeant. His name was Woods, Sergeant Woods, as I had learned by looking at his uniform. He couldn't have been more than fifty years old, but he was doing the exercises right with us and it didn't look like he was struggling or would be anytime soon. On the other paw, I don't think I have trained harder for anything else in my life.

The sergeant was like machine; he never stopped. A hundred jumping jacks, a hundred sit ups, a hundred leg lifts, then to a hundred push-ups. His list of exercises seemed to go on for an eternity. Every part of my body burned and was drenched with sweat. Not even the cold morning of an Alaskan summer seemed to matter. It didn't help that I had not been able to stop for a break. On many exercises I couldn't complete the full hundred repetitions, but I had to persevere.

I was convinced that the drill instructor didn't even know that the word "breaks" existed. But as I looked around, I saw that I wasn't the only one struggling with keeping up. There were the other twenty-one other canines around me, all in their line formations and on the ground struggling with the current exercise. After the wolf instructor counted all the way down to the last push-up, he jumped back upright and barked, "At ease, recruits!" Every one of us trainees dropped to the ground, exhausted and panting. "You got five minutes to rest. Then we have a small run." The sergeant grinned menacingly and walked toward a group of officers, picking his path through the prone bodies that littered the floor.

The sergeant called for the other officers to bring out canteens of water. I picked myself up from the ground and quickly snatched a canteen from a passing officer and took a big first gulp. It was warm and not all that great tasting, but I kept drinking. After a few big gulps I took several deep breaths and sat myself back down and looked around. The other recruits were sitting on the grassy grounds breathing heavily and drinking frequently from their canteens. Apart from the sounds they made They otherwise stayed silent. I closed my eyes as I continued to catch my breath. I needed time to reflect on my situation.

All last night, the night when I learned I couldn't leave, I had lain in bed thinking about Derek. I missed him so much. What made it worse was that I couldn't see him for a long time. He was back home, and I was here.

A cold rush of air ruffled my course black fur and brought me back to reality. The sergeant returned to his post, barked some orders, and we all stood at attention. We fell into lines and began our run. The "small run" the sergeant promised turned out to be ten-miles. By the fifth mile, I was sure I was dying. After finishing the agonizing run, the rest of the day past by in a blur. At one point we were in a classroom, learning the mechanisms and parts of various weaponry, the next moment we were out on the firing range shooting different types of weapons. For some of the recruits, it was there first time even holding a firearm. We shot assault rifles, sub-machine guns, and sniper rifles. I was decent in about every type of of those firearms. Some were stronger in sub-machine guns, some in assault rifles. But there was only one fur who seemed to be an expert with a sniper rifle.

Her name was Catherine. A lean Alaskan Malamute standing at a decent height with similar coloring to a Siberian Husky. However, she was very quiet and always kept to herself. I had not noticed her before in the crowd of furs, but it seemed impossible not to after she showed everybody up with her uncanny skills with the long-ranged rifle. What amazed us more was that she admitted she had never shot anything bigger than a small handgun. But even then she shrunk back from the attention.

After the firing range, everything again melted into a blur. I remember all of the recruits at the Mess Hall eating and talking in small groups. I sat alone at a table and quietly devoured my dinner. It was around seven at the time and the rest of the night, until curfew at nine, was ours to do as we pleased. Many furs went to the Recreational Building to pursue their own enjoyments.

I retired to my quarters. It was a well-sized room that I had to share with another canine. He was a light brown and black German Shepherd named Frederick, but he preferred to be called Fred. He was very well structurally built, a bit shorter than me, with a lean athletic body. He was also very handsome. But it was only an appreciation of his appearance; I was not remotely ready to start looking at other men intimately. Derek still had his place in my heart and forever would.

I was sitting on the bed in my room, staring glumly at the picture of Derek and I. I had spent many moments just looking at him. How I had missed that smile he always seem to have when he looked at me. I was so intent in my thoughts, I had almost missed the near-silent sound of the wooden door opening, followed by the sound of quiet pawsteps that had to belong to my roommate. I quickly placed the framed picture in my duffel bag where all my other personal items lay hidden from plain sight. I looked up to where the canine was standing.

"Hey," the German Shepherd greeted me, somewhat bashful. This was maybe the second or third time we talked to each other.

"Hey, Fred," I replied a bit more sullenly than I would have liked to.

"Something wrong?" he asked, his eyes flickering to my bag.

"It's nothing...just a memory," I replied, looking away from him and down to where my bag sat at my legs. Fred seemed to catch the feeling that I didn't want to talk about it anymore and didn't ask anymore about it.

"Well, I saw you walk back here from the Mess Hall and thought I'd come talk to you. You know, since we are roommates and it would be nice to get to know you," he said with a bright smile. I gave him a brief, friendly smile. "So...where are you from?" he queried.

"Arizona. You?" I replied.

"I'm from Texas," he said with another smile and chuckled. "Heh. Makes me seem tough just saying that." He gave me a flexing pose while masking a goofy smile.

I gave a slight chuckle, " You look like a tough guy." His eyes brightened at that.

"But I guess I am not very tough it seems after all," he muttered as he pulled a chair over and sat himself down. "That training we did earlier today was so intense. Not only that, but the old timer drill sergeant made me look like a pup."

"It was very hard, I have to agree with that," I concurred with him.

"Do you find this 'project' suspicious?" he asked suddenly. I looked up at him for I had stared slightly at the floor. His eyes were curious, bright, but also at unease. Something was disturbing him.

"Well, I haven't put much thought into it, but yes, it does seem a bit weird."

"They had told us we couldn't leave because time was running out, but could it be because of something else? I just find this whole situation weird," he murmured.

I sighed, "You are a thinker, huh? Well, I agree that something may not be right, but it is not our place to decide. The doctor said that there is something planned for us, something we could become to serve our country whenever men and women are needed."

"Wolverines," he spoke with his eyes trained on me, "that is what she said we will become." He looked down to observe the dog tags hanging by a chain around his neck. I knew what was written there for I was also given one. Engraved were the words "WOLVERINE" and the name of the wearer. Below the name was also a number. The number given to me was "010". I did not understand anything about that particular number except that it was perhaps a designation that I am the tenth member of the Wolverines.

I looked down, "Yeah. But I am just sad that we are not allowed to visit our families and friends."

"Was that what you had a picture of? Family?" he asked softly, probably sensing that the picture was perhaps a touchy subject.

"No, it was of my best friend and..." I stopped myself, "yeah, just my best friend."

"At least you have something, right? I don't have anything. I don't care too much about my family," his ears fell flat at the end of his statement.

There was a brief silence before I spoke up, "Problem in the family?"

"Something like that, yeah." He sighed, "Do you regret joining the military?"

My gaze shifted to the floor and I was silent for a moment; I didn't know what to say. I wanted to do something with my life, but there wasn't much I could do. I know Mrs. Price would have paid for my college if I chose that path, but I didn't want to depend on her and I didn't want her to think she had to take care of me. I didn't want to cause Derek any grief. I guess I knew deep down that I wouldn't like either choices, but I knew I had to take one that would be better Derek. I only hope I was right in my decision.

A mere moment of reflection passed before I gave me answer. "No," I started, "I don't regret my enlistment. But I regret that it had been one of my choices." I looked up at him, "Do you understand me when I say that?"

Fred shook his head, "Not really."

"Well I had two choices, one of which was to join the military. I chose to join the military because I didn't want to choose the alternative. But I regret having gotten into that situation where those were the only choices." I finished with sigh.

"I see, I am sorry about that. I hope I wasn't being too intrusive; I am just-I just wanted to talk to you," he lowered his head.

"Hey, don't worry about it, alright?" I saw him nod slowly. "If it makes you feel better, why don't you tell me a little more about yourself. So that we are even, yes?"

We spent much of the night talking. Talking about a variety of things: favorite childhood places, favorite pastimes and the like. But I withheld my intimate relationship with Derek from him; it was still too soon for me to talk about it and I was unsure of Fred's opinions of gay couples.

Time sped by while we conversed and it had reached close to nine o'clock pretty soon. Fred and I decided to end our discussion for the night and get ready for a night's slumber. Grabbing a towel and some toiletries, I headed to the bathrooms and showers that were at the end of the hallway outside my room. It was warm and humid and not especially crowded as there were only a few others occupying the sinks and a couple of showers. The showers were open and all lined up in rows. I walked down the row and stopped at a shower one over from the last occupied shower. I laid my things down and stripped myself of my musky clothing.

I felt a cold draft sweep through the room as the door opened and in came Fred. I guess he had the same idea and had also came down for a nice, relaxing shower before retiring to bed. He took the shower between me and the other occupied one. He gave me a smile and I gave him a smile as well as a nod in acknowledgment. I stepped into the shower and turned the handle. A cold spray of water shot out of the shower head and I inhaled sharply as the freezing water began to penetrate my coat of fur. I heard a chuckle from who I could have guessed to be Fred. I turned around and gave him a wry smile.

Fred had also stripped down to reveal his natural, light brown and black fur. He had streaks and patches of white in some parts of his body, but I didn't look for too long. I wouldn't want to be caught staring at him nude in a public shower. Luckily everybody else was too involved in their own affairs to be paying attention to me. Fred was reaching down to pick up his cleansing products and I couldn't help but pay some attention to the round curves of his rump. It was a very beautiful rump, I had to admit. But shaking my head, and chiding myself, I turned away and resumed bathing myself. I adjusted the temperature settings to my desire and it felt bliss. It was relaxing, indeed. I lathered myself with the fur shampoo and conditioner I had brought and felt it was away with the warm stream of water that ran down my body.

Just before I was finished, I felt a strange feeling. A feeling like someone was staring at me. Tilting my head up and slightly to the right, I was able to see that it was Fred who was staring at me. Well a part of me, namely my rear. He seemed really engrossed too. In another situation I would have been flattered, but in this case, I only felt a sense of anguish, I know that Derek and I separated in terms of our intimate relationship, but I couldn't help but think that maybe we could and were still something.

I quickly turned off the shower and wrapped myself in a towel, stymieing Fred's view of my rump. I hurried to get my other preparations finished and rushed back to my room. There a I dressed in gym pants and a t-shirt. The rooms were heated so I didn't have to really dress warm for the night. I had also taken out the picture of Derek and I and stared at it with longing eyes. I kissed part of the picture that was Derek and again hid it inside my bag, away from the eyes of the world. In the picture was where he would always be mine.

I nestled under my covers just as my canine roommate came into the room. In the end, I felt a bit bad about running away from him. I mean, I did stare at his rear too. I will admit it was a bit unfair to deny him the same eye candy. He probably would have liked to walk back to the room with me too. I sighed internally. What mess had I made out of myself.

Fred dressed himself in a similar attire and crawled under the covers. At nine o'clock, the lights turned off and we were cast into darkness. My eyes quickly readjusted to the lack of light and I could make out the German Shepherd laying still, his paws folded over his chest that rose and fell slowly.

"Hey, John?" the Shepherd whispered softly.

"Yes," I whispered back in the darkness.

"Are we...are we friends?"