The Fantastic Life of Diogenes Smith

Story by StGeorgesHorse on SoFurry

, , , , , ,

#1 of The Life of Diogenes

For those of you who remember this story series from a year ago you will find it edited, modified, added to, but mostly intact as it was originally written. After returning to this series I found that I hated the writing of it, though I still like the idea of it. Hopefully you will find it an easier read with less grammatical errors to distract from its curious content.


              A man

was running through the streets. In itself, this was not unusual. The fact that

he was naked and clutching his clothes was a little more out of place, but

still, it happened. No, it was the fact that the man was just

that; a bone fide human. In and around these parts, that's what was called a

rara avis.                 The man

whose legs were working so energetically was neither here nor there in looks,

though none of the locals had anything much to judge him by. He wasn't

particularly tall, and he wasn't particularly short. But he was human, and that

was enough to make him the most interesting man in the world at that moment.                 The

question was; what was he running from? And why was he carrying his cloths

instead of wearing them? Around here, the only sane reason would be a fire or

flood. The insane reasons were too numerous to count.                But

Diogenes was different. He wasn't like everyone else, especially here. He

didn't quite fit in.                 It all

started when he woke up. The room was unfamiliar to him, and seeing as he wasn't

normally a drinker, he immediately put it down to being in a friend's pad. They

must have known he was too drunk to drive, and had curled him up in the covers

of a spare bed. He went to stretch, yawning wide, when he felt his arm bump

someone else. Apparently there had been others too drunk to drive. He felt

mildly uncomfortable being in bed with a stranger. He gathered his courage and

tried to roll out without disturbing his bed mate. It didn't work.                Oh, it

might have, if he hadn't screamed. You see; as he pulled back the covers, he

saw that his partner was, well, rather unusual. Even as he clamped his hand

over his mouth, he was coming to the conclusion that it was simply the owner's

dog, perhaps feeling the need to protect the silly drunk man. But when it

turned and opened its eyes, he knew he was hallucinating. It was reinforced

when it opened its mouth.                "My,

my! Where'd you come from?"                Diogenes

fell to the floor. "Who, who...what are you?"                The

occupant of the bed was obviously female, but recognizable by her voice alone.

"What am I?" She chuckled. "Listen you peculiar looking man, everyone knows

what I am. As for who I am, you must really be new around here. I'm Kakhra. And

who are you that you boldly sneak into my bed while I'm sleeping?" Then she did

a double take. "And why are you dressed in that silly outfit. You look like

something that was rejected by the jester's club."Despite his surprise and confusion,

part of his old stubbornness and grit came to life. "I'll have you know this

suit was tailored by Hansen and D'arcy, of Haverton Road!""Who and Who? Look sweetie, I don't

care who your tailors are. They need to find some color in their fashion. You

look like your attending a funeral, not waiting for the services of the best

little whore in town!"Mr. Smith fell to the floor. It was

all too much for him. The thing calling itself Kakhra stood from the bed and

towered over him. Of course, that's rather figurative. She was no taller than

he. He was getting a good look at her now, and despite the fact that his brain

was rebelling at what it saw, he could tell that it was female. In fact, as he

acclimated to the fact that it spoke and wore jewelry, he was noticing that she

also wore perfume. It was heady; a musky mix of spice and, and...something else.                She

crouched down to stare him in the face. He could only stare back. "Who are

you?" she purred.                Purred

was the right word. Diogenes immediately placed her face. It was leopard. Well,

as close to a leopard as a two legged being could be. His mind was definitely

unhinged.                 Oh, not

because he was talking with a leopardess, but because his first thought was,

"She's black." She was. But he was afraid he was being prejudiced because of

her fur color.                He knew

he had seen her before, but he couldn't quite place it. Her voice too was

familiar to his ear. And that smell! He slowly stood up. He knew that he was

very drunk right now. It was the only explanation. But if there was some

reality behind this vision, he was determined to find it. He held out his hand

and touched her. She made a little rumbling noise.                "What

is a human doing here?" she asked, watching his fingers run down her arm.                He

whipped them back. "Where is here?"                She

smiled. "I can't say for certain. It seems to have many names. It is populated

by us that are and are not."                He

scowled. "What kind of answer is that?"                She

held up her paws in an expression of resignation. "A truthful one. I cannot

speak about that which I do not know. I am here. You are here. I think that in

itself is sufficient information. What say we do something about it?"                Mr.

Smith was a proper gentleman. One did not go to prostitutes, nor did one bed

animals. It was preposterous. But the more he considered, the more he felt

comfortable with the situation. He was a respected; well, he was a respected

something...somewhere. And where was his tailor located? It was all getting

fuzzy. Maybe that part of his memory was truly the dream.                He had

an idea. "Excuse me miss, can you do me a favor?"                Seeing

as she was already unbuttoning his vest, she purred out, "Sure!"                "Can

you bite me? Just enough to make me wake up from this dream, assuming I'm

dreaming!"                "Bite

you? You're kind of kinky, aren't you? Into rough foreplay? Well, ok!"                She bit

him and drew blood. He yelped and grabbed his arm.                "What

the hell are you doing?" he whimpered.                "Just

what you asked for!"                "But I

was supposed to wake up! I thought this was a dream!"                "Oh, I

think I can make it either way for you. I can make it so real you'll think

you're dreaming!"                By this

time she had his upper buttons undone. There was a slight bloodstain on one

sleeve where her canine had punctured cloth and flesh. He was backing away, but

she stalked him right to the door. When he turned to flee, he found the door

locked.                 "Listen

my little human. I don't know why you're here as you are, but you're going to

leave when I say you will. You taunt and you tease, and now I have the upper

paw." She produced the key. She waved it around in from of him. Then, with deliberate

care, she sat on the bed and carefully pushed it up into her pussy. "You want out;

you have to work for it!"                Diogenes

was flabbergasted. The longer he was here, the more familiar it became. It was

as if his head was clearing. He knew he recognized this Kakhra, but it was

still escaping him as to how. She seemed to know him, or of him, or something

she wasn't letting on to. It was confusing, but worse, he was getting turned

on.                Diogenes

lived alone, or so he thought he remembered. He was finding it hard to

concentrate.  He lived in...in...a little

house...somewhere. Damn it was hard to focus. There seemed to be a memeory of a

dark feline female. Was it her? The black leopardess was motioning for him to

come to bed. He knew he shouldn't, but he needed that key. He went to climb up

with her, but she told him sternly.                 "No

clothes. How you got into my bed dressed is beyond me, but no one is dressed

that shares my charms."                For

some reason, he felt compelled to obey. She appraised him as he stood there.

"Hmmm. Not bad! But just remember honey, you have to get the key first, or

you're going to injure yourself."                He was

perplexed. Then it came to him. He was going to have extricate that key on his

own. He knew enough about females and felines to know that brute force wasn't

going to work. He was going to have to work for it. She had played this game

before. For some reason, he got turned on even more.                "Alright,

I'll do things your way!" He slid up, half draped over one side. He gave her a

kiss, and she gave him one back. His chest pressed down on one breast, while

his free hand stroked the other. He stroked her head, her ears and her neck, before

resuming his caresses to her chest. She seemed to enjoy it as much as any house

cat. Her purring became deafening to his ears.                When

his fingers traveled to her hips, she positively squirmed. When they traveled a

little bit more intimately, she spread her legs and gently clawed his back. His

fingers found soft furred lips edged with moisture. He could feel the heat

rising from them. He worked a finger inside, feeling her twitch when he did.

With subtle force, he pushed past those lips and into the pink recesses of her

body. He got scratches for his effort. She was one sensual kitty!                "Meow!

You keep that up and you'll have your key mister!"                If he

kept that up he might not survive the encounter! Leastwise, it was the thought percolating

around inside in his head. Somewhere in there too was the thought that he shouldn't

be doing this. Still, the longer he did the more right it felt. It was as if he

had known this strange creature for a long time. Each passing minute seemed to

evoke old memories.                 His

questing fingers touched on the metal, now quite warm to the touch. He shoved

his finger in deeper, getting for his effort another thin line of scratches. He

got the tip of one digit secured on it and pulled it out.                 She

sighed. "Well, that was too easy. I guess you can go now." Just as she finished

speaking, she heard the clank of metal hitting the floor.                "Leave?

Things have just started to get interesting!"                He pounced

on her with all the grace of a practiced feline. For an inactive man such as

himself, the boldness and agility surprised him. It was as if he weren't even

in his own body anymore. But hers felt real enough. If she'd only sheath those

claws, he'd be in seventh heaven!                He made

no savage move to engage with her, possibly because she beat him to it. With a

practiced ease, she pulled him in and...thankfully, kept her claws at bay. He

probably wouldn't have noticed. He had only ever dreamed of having a girl this

tight!                 Well,

she wasn't a girl. He wasn't sure what to call her. She was dark and sultry and

so full of sexual energy he was fairly certain some of it was overflowing into

him. She was feline in every way except... Except that she had breasts and

walked on two legs; and talked. It also didn't take him long to discover that

she was far better than a girl. He wasn't a handsome man, yet this new partner of

his was completely taken in. Most females ignored him or worse.                He knew

better than to argue. He wrestled with her on the bed, changing positions and

making a racket until he figured the neighbors would be knocking on the door.

His normal situation of blowing early failed to rear its ugly head, and though

he wasn't counting the passing of the minutes, he knew full well that he had

been going for an eternity. When he did come, it was coupled with scratches

from those wicked feline claws of hers.                He

failed to notice.                What

got his attention was the door banging open. He was still on top of the

leopardess, and the male tiger strutting into the room could have no doubts

about what was going on. "Oh ho!" he roared.                Diogenes

Smith learned a valuable skill at that exact moment. He found that he could

exit a bed, grab his clothes and shove a roaring lion to the floor. He bolted

out the door and you know the rest.                The

lion was in a daze. "What the hell was that all about?"                Kakhra

hissed through her teeth. "Have you ever heard of knocking? And maybe, just

maybe, instead of bursting in at the top of your voice, you could maybe peek in

and find out if I'm busy? I think you scared the shit out of him."                "I wasn't

going to hurt him! I was just wondering why you were making so much racket!"                "I don't

think he saw it that way! I think he thought you were going to kill him!"                 The doctors

were examining their patient.                "What

was he admitted with?"                "Coma.

He was at a party and the host found him slumped over. His pulse was normal,

his breathing was normal, as was his blood pressure. There appeared to be no

signs of trauma."                "No

trauma?" The second doctor pointed to the sheets. "There's blood there, and it

looks like some here on his back. How was this missed?" He was holding the

patient;s arm to were severl puncture wounds were oozing blood.                "I don't

know. I swear that wasn't there earlier!"                "And

what's this about his pulse? According to the machine's history log, his heart

rate has been racing on and off for a while now. See here, when he came in it

was normal, but here and here and here, it's three times the norm."                 "Yes

that is strange. And his EEG is equally odd. He seems to have full brain

function, but is unable to respond to any external stimuli. It's almost like he's

living in his own little world inside his head!"                "Lucky

guy! I'm sure it beats the heck out the humdrum existence we're stuck with.