Bovine Standoff - Collaboration with Minothebull
#4 of Sgt. Horns
Paul has the much needed confrontation with his superior
Hey everyone!
Might not be the most followed series of mine, but here there is another chapter of Sgt. Horns ^^ There will be another chapter that will conclude this story, someday, but for now here it is ^^ Hope you will like it though.
Thanks for
Paul was sitting in his car, his paws clutching the driving wheel as he tried to decide what to do. The previous night had been filled with many thoughts.... About his father, the bull, himself... They had kept him from sleeping, the confusion in his head being too important. He tried to understand the motives behind the accident in the alley, but the more the canine thought about it, the more he didn't know what to make of it.
The sun was setting behind him, painting his gray fur with a reddish hue. That sure was something to look at, he was sure, but he didn't care about it; he was focused on his problems, what his parents had caused by not talking. If they had told him the truth, that his old man was gay, he would have lived an easier life. Hell, he wouldn't have been such an arrogant dick all the time, in the vain attempt to follow his dad's step!
The wolf had come to a conclusion after the restless night: he needed to talk with Sgt. Horns. He was the only one who could give him clarity, to lift the confusion that had been plaguing his mind. It might not be pretty, or nice, but he had to do it. That was the resolve that had animated him that morning, as he went on patrol with Nakamura.
Thankfully, things were smoother with the shiba inu thanks to their conversation, the dog had been less... fidgety. That helped his mood a bit, they even had idle chat, something he hadn't really imagined possible before. Cops talking normally was something that seemed so alien, when he had listened to his words; his old man had depicted the officers like cool guys always focused on their duties, emotionless and sure of themselves.
But Nakamura wasn't like that. He was pretty funny, the perfect antithesis of what his dad has pictured as a cop. But he was still a proud cop who made his voice being heard when the time needed it.... Not a wimp as he had thought. Maybe the sergeant was the same.... Or maybe he was stricter, the reason why his father had fallen in love with him perhaps...
_"And I am totally trying to delay the inevitable." _ The lupine thought to himself, retrieving his keys and getting out of his car. It had took a good dose of courage to ask for Horns' address to officer Nakamura, but the dog had given it gladly, even telling him he would found the bull at home that evening.
And that was were he had been parked for the last half an hour, in front of the condo building where the bovine lived. It was closer to downtown than his neighborhood, a perfect place for a celibate fur to live in, he guessed; he had seen his share of lofts during his short life, many of his hook ups living in one.
Paul was wearing his normal clothes, had told his mom he was going out with friends when he had come back home to change. She, of course, had believed him, not realizing that it wasn't going to be a friendly outing with drunk furs. Now the doubts had come back, stopping him in front of the entrance door, immobile like a lamp post.
Was it the smartest thing to do? Would the bull react well? He wasn't sure. That was the problem. But if he wanted to be a cop, a real cop, he had to face his fears, not let them fester in his mind, souring him and making him a copy of his dad.
His paw trembled a bit as he raised it, his eyes having found the name tag easily. Sighing, the wolf pressed the button, deciding it was about time to do this step. Plus, maybe the bovine wasn't home, maybe he had gone out, as he allegedly was going, to fuck some twink in a club's bathroom or...
"Yes?" The bush tone was recognizable, even through the statics of the interphone. Horns' voice froze him, the young cop not knowing what to say.
"Yes? Is this some punk's prank?" The bovine repeated, his patience clearly running low, as always. That wasn't good for the lupine, so he cleared his throat, his ears flicking in nervousness as he clasped his paws.
"Uh, ehm... This is...Ehm..." Paul tried to speak, but found that a knot in his throat was stopping him.
"Listen, kid, I'm not interested in anything you sell." The annoyance in the bull's voice was clear, as the fact he was going to cut the communication.
"It's... It's me. Paul Kowalski." He finally managed to say, blurting it out in fear the other would just hang down. Only the statics of the interphone showed he hadn't, since no other response came, forcing to call out for the bovine. "Sir? Are you there?"
"... Yes. What do you want, kid?" The answer came, maybe soft, but still understandable. The previous annoyed tone had been replaced with another one, something that Paul couldn't recognize.
"We need to talk." The young policeman said, the insecurity of the older man giving him more confidence, in a strange way.
"Look, if it is something about work, this isn't the place. Come to my desk tomorrow." Horns briskly said, his desire of getting rid of the wolf apparent. It was no good if he didn't let him talk muzzle to muzzle, it wasn't something that could be discussed on the street or at the department.
"We need to talk about you and my dad. Now." He tried to convey the need as much as he could, trying to be strict and sure. His ears were perked as much as possible, and his tail stiff, even though neither of those things could help him right now; but his body expressed itself nonetheless.
After what seemed minutes, finally the front door opened, the bull having taken his decision. "Fourth floor." The gruff voice told him as the wolf walked to the door, finally sighing in relief once inside the entrance. Sure, it was just the first step, and not even the hardest one, but still he had managed to get in.
Paul waited for the lift to arrive, taking it directly to that specific floor, trying to organize his thoughts as the machine lifted him. What did he had to say? And with which words, and tone? Should he be angry, yelling, or coldly annoyed? He wasn't sure, and he hadn't decided yet when the doors opened, setting him lose.
The lupine was tempted to take some more time, and staying in the lift for a bit longer, but that wasn't the right thing to do. Sticking his chest out, stilling every mobile part of him, he stepped out and to the right door, trying to mold himself in the mask he had used until the week before.
The door opened before he could ring the bell, catching him with his paw raised. There was the bull, wearing some comfortable clothes, shirt and some loose pants that didn't hide his sculpted body at all, nor his bulge. Not that Paul had noticed those things.
"Get in, kid." Sgt. Horns ordered him, leaving enough space for him to do. He closed the door behind them, quietly, gesturing with one paw to the general direction. "Please, have a seat."
The cop looked at the direction and noticed a table with a few chairs around it, the place where to have a seat, it seemed. He took the chance while walking to it to look around, taking some of details of the room; it was a simple living/dining room, with a table just at the entrance and a couch beyond it, facing a somewhat big television and a potted plant. There were frames hanging at the walls, but the red light of the sunset kept him from seeing the details of the pictures.
Gingerly, he sat down, putting the window behind him, subconsciously following the rules for a good interrogation by putting the source of light behind him. The bull heaved himself on the chair in the opposite side of the table, his face fixed in an unreadable mask; nothing transpired from it, no clue on how the bull was feeling, meaning that the canine had to navigate in uncharted waters during the conversation.
Then, silence fell on them, neither starting talking, just looking at each other. Paul almost regretted there was no beverages on the table, he would have liked a full glass of whiskey or any alcoholic beverage for that matter. But on the other paw, he didn't want to lower his gaze even by accident, staring at the bull like they were equals.
"So. You came to talk about your father. Then talk." The bovine finally rumbled, breaking the spell that had sit on them. The younger man took a deep breath, feeling that the game was about to start.
"You and my father were in love." He started, his words a statement, not a question. It felt almost strange to say that, so out loud.
"No, we just fucked." Horns told him sternly, his eye twitching a bit. The wolf noted it down as a sign of lying and moved on.
"You told me he had discovered my porn. That sounds like something lovers would share." The police fur presented his next evidence, though not his strongest one.
"I was messing with your head, so I could force you into sex." The bull replied, a strange inflection in his voice as he said the last words. Maybe... Hatred?
"We will discuss what happened in the alley later." He said, somewhat restraining his increasing anger. The bull wasn't talking with him, he was just avoiding the facts, and that irritated him to no end. "Nakamura told me you were a couple."
"He shouldn't have said that, it's no-"
"STOP LYING." Paul shouted, stopping the bull in his tracks. He fished something from his pants, throwing it on the table, in front of the bull. "I found this photo back home."
The bull picked it up, his ears moving as he recognized the photo, his features smoothing a bit in a sad expression. That was what nailed him, the ultimate proof that he had loved his old man, that sad smile that stretched over his red and white muzzle. He didn't need to say more, just waited for the bovine to finally admit.
"... Yes, me and Jim were in a... relationship." Mark finally admitted, letting his breath out in a long sigh, his eyes still on the photo. It was gratifying for the wolf that he had managed to get that out, but still he wasn't done yet.
"You helped him come to terms with his sexuality, making him a better fur." He said, laying down all the important facts.
"Yes. He was a very troubled man, at the beginning." The bovine replied, his words sounding strangely melancholic at this point. He had put down the photo, one red finger tracing the outlines of the wolf figure in the pictures, slowly, like a caress.
"And mom knew that." He stated, the other just nodding his head. "But you never told her I was gay."
Mark stayed silent for a moment, before answering, his ears dropping a bit. "No, I didn't. Your dad had discovered just before... before..." The strong bull seemed on the verge of breaking down, but somehow manage to keep his composure.
"Good. I would have been mad at mom otherwise. Not that I am not mad at her, and you, for hiding the truth." The wolf said coldly, the bitterness in his voice making the other fur snap out of his gaze from the photo.
"I can't speak for your mom, but I had good reasons!" The bull defended himself, sounding almost outraged. "I couldn't walk to my lover's son and tell him his father was gay!"
"But you knew I was too. That is just an excuse, isn't it?" The cop pointed out calmly. "I would have been shocked, but I would have understand. Maybe."
The sergeant kept his angry façade for a while, but then it morphed in something else as he admitted the truth. "Yes, you are right."
"So, what is the reason?" The wolf interrogated him. He needed to go to the bottom of that, before passing to the other pressing issue; he was impressed with himself, he was keeping his cool through all the conversation, something he thought wouldn't be able to.
The ruminant didn't answer right away, pondering for a while. He let him do that, he was in no hurry after all, not now that the older policeman was ready to spill the beans. The canine watched, waited, suppressed the urge of talking a couple of times, in fear that would put the bull back in his own cocoon.
"The real reason..." Mark started, gulping down before continuing."I guess the real reason is that...It hurt too much to see Jim's family."
"... That is all?" The wolf couldn't stop his disbelief. What kind of crappy answer was that? The bull raised his stare, his eyes having a serious glean in them.
"Yes. You were... Are his strongest legacy... Reminding me of him too much..." Some tears were appearing in the corner of his big eyes.
"You could have stomached that just to talk with me once." The wolf pointed out, his teeth poking a bit under his lip, showing his irritation.
"I couldn't! Even back then, you looked too much like Jim!" Horns replied, tears slipping down his cheeks. "And now you are practically a younger version of him!"
The lupine opened his mouth to talk, but the bull didn't let him, words coming out from his mouth like water freed from a dam. "You know how hard it is to live with such grief? It gets rekindle every time I see you! I was fine, recovering, until you joined my department!"
"Well sorry for ruining your party." Paul managed to say, not letting the crying bull get to his brain with such a display.
"And then I saw you in that uniform... Having the same attitude as Jim... The same fucking body!" The bull bellowed his grief. "I tried to be professional, to act like you were just a normal rookie, but you acted exactly like Jim when we met for the first time and..."
"And you thought I needed a lesson. To stop me from being like him in his jerk years." The gray canine ended for him, but he knew there was more. "Or maybe you just want to relive what you had with my dad, so you fucked me."
Horns jerked his head up, tears still rolling, before sadly nodding, shame on his face. "Yes. I abused you with my position... Raped you."
No one talked, the words sinking on them both, like some cancer eroding their inside. It felt kinda good to see the bull in such an emotional dismay, and Paul was tempted to leave him like that... to make him suffer... but that wouldn't be a good thing.
"Listen, Mark..." The wolf called his sergeant by his first name for the first time, paws going to grab his massive ones. "You weren't in your right state of mind that day."
"That is no justification for what I have done. You should denounce me." The bovine said, flitching from the contact and trying to shy away from it. But he didn't let him, gray paws encircling the white-red ones.
"I am not finished. Yes, you abused your position, but I don't think it was rape." The young man stated in clear, slow words. "I am not emotionally hurt by that, there are no consequences from us having sex. Except maybe me wanting to redo it, being used by you."
"But I did it without your consent, and using my authority." The bovine was firm in that, and he looked completely miserable. He kinda sympathized with him, but it wasn't the time to grow soft.
"Well, whatever, it might have been, it might have not, I won't press charges." The wolf dismissed the issue, even if deep down he wondered if it had been really rape or not. He had enjoyed it, and didn't struggle much once he realized what was happening, and... He shook his head, decided that whatever that had been, it shouldn't matter anymore; he wasn't afraid of the bull, or sex, nor having nightmares, or any bad consequence so it didn't matter at the moment.
"I just hur-" The bull started again, but stopped in his tracks, zapped by the stare of the canine. Strangely, that made him smile, a tiny show of teeth, sure, but still something. "Your father used to give me the same look when I did something wrong." He explained.
"Uh. Okay. Nice I guess." Paul was a bit surprised by such a statement, but kept going now that he was on fire. "What really messed me up about that... event was you dropping information about me and my father. Then you avoided me like the plague."
"I'm sorry for that. After I ra-" Horns started explaining, morphing his next word as he saw the look on the younger' cop muzzle. "After that, I felt so ashamed. I thought, before, I could handle you and-"
"But I look too much like my father, behaved too much like me, fucked me and things went messy." The wolf summarized, waving a paw. "I understand putting me with Nakamura... Now that you explained yourself. But you should have sit down and talked with me."
"I know. I am a coward for acting like that." The bull said, weirdly sounding as his usual self, maybe thanks to having lifted so many weights from his heart. Paul felt better too, now, having learned the truth and pierced together all the pieces.
"So. Now we have cleared things." The gray canine said, remembering only now that he had grabbed the other's paws, slowly releasing them.
"I guess. Kid." The sergeant smiled at him, though any former strictness of his voice had disappeared now. "I can't put you back with me, though, not now."
"And I don't want to. I prefer to stick with Nakamura. Better for both." Paul replied, with a strange sense of maturity, that fading with the next words as he blushed slightly. "Though, can I come and talk with you about stuff? Like, the possibility of coming out to mom..."
The wolf was sure that he was showing his young age now. But now that they had come to terms with certain things, the bull seemed the closest thing to an adult confident he could have... He had helped his father, he might help the son too after all...
"Of course." Horns smiled, a true smile that made his eyes shine; the first time Paul had seen the senior officer do that, actually. "Though not tonight, we had... enough of talking."
"Yeah." He nodded briskly, feeling the emotional fatigue creeping on him. "What about this Saturday's evening?"