Chapter 13: The Way of a Dragon
#13 of Chosen
And here we have chapter 13. This chapter was one of the shorter ones, however the next three are quite a bit longer (if I remember correctly). Chapter 14 (the next one) was the longest of the story since I started writing. I suspect it will remain that or longer, depending on the amount of additional detail I'm compelled to add. That and in chapter 15, where a rather special event happens.
What? You might ask (that is if you haven't already guessed). If not you'll just have to wait and see. If not in the next I do plan to really let loose in chap 15, stretching that imagination and see just how creative I can get.
For the time being I do hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks to all for following the story this far.
~Darris
A gust of wind swirled through the clearing, rustling the tall evergreens that lined its eastern edge. Eragon grunted, jerking his head up from Saphira's with a start as a chorus of cracks and snaps - followed by a muffled thud - echoed from the darkness beyond them. He paused, eyes widened as his nostrils flared to sample a cool, downwind eddy for any telltale sign of danger. Unsatisfied, he flicked his tongue, tasting the air as he listened, waiting tensely as if he expected Mot'Gar himself to come charging forth any moment. Instead, the wind settled, leaving the night quiet once more. Quiet save for the buzz of thought whirring through his mind. Eragon flashed a wary glance to the sound of Saphira's flanks swelling as she inhaled. When he finally realized there was no cause for alarm he uttered a dismissive snort then relaxed and focused his attention on her. She stirred slightly, rumbling involuntarily as he pulled her close with his wing and paused to watch her sleep through affectionate, yet solemn eyes. He lowered his head and gently stroked his tongue across the back of her neck, as if to comfort her. Afterwards he slowly lowered his head atop hers, rubbing his lower jaw gently against her forehead as he curled his tail around her. He basked in the assurance of her safety, and warmth of her of body next to his, sleep beckoning him once more. Slowly his eyes drooped closed.
"Will you keep from me all of who you are?"
Came the echo of Saphira's words the moment he started to drift back to sleep. His eyes shot open, gaze lowering to focus on her head. He wondered if the words had been an echo from her over their connection - perhaps from a dream she was having - or from a tendril of thought reaching forth from the depths of his mind, forcing him to face what he could no longer ignore. He lay a long while, eventually looking up to the moonless, star-lit sky. He sighed heavily to the realization that sleep would not pay him visit again tonight. And so, with a discontented rumble he lifted his head, holding it low over hers as he slowly drew breath through his nostrils to savor her scent. It warmed him, serving in that moment as a tangible reminder that lying next to him was the beautiful dragoness he'd fallen in love with.
But--
He had failed her. A chill ran through him. His eyes closed tight with a grimace as he lifted his wing and slowly shuffled a wing's length away from her. Memories of the day before rushed forth as he cracked opened his eyes to behold the ringed jewel he held close. It glowed brightly, creating a sapphire halo as it shone from his open paw. He looked at it with wistful eyes while gently setting it down on the ground in front of him.
"Love her as she has loved you."
Came the echo of Ar'Dins words. Eragon recounted the moment the onyx dragon bestowed the ring to him as a parting gift. A symbol of the deep love she held for him.
But I do love her. With--
Eragon's gaze lowered to his next words, which waned to a faint whisper as he spoke them.
--With all my heart.
He softly whimpered, pleading to himself as he swiveled his head to look at her, the scales gleaming faintly on her body from the jewel's soft light. Doubt stalked him, with he it's unwitting prey. Again he whimpered, gaze turning back to the ring. To him it now served only as a reminder of how inadequate he was.
But--
How can I? How can I say I love her with all my heart and yet deny her the full expression of it?
He sighed heavily then closed his eyes, hanging low his head until the blunt of his snout hovered just over the ring as it lay in his open paw.
The way her mate would.
His maw cracked open slightly, teeth clenching in a hiss, as if he'd been pierced.
The way--
He swallowed hard as the sting of his error the day before bore deeper into him.
The way a dragon would.
The night grew darker around him. His heart beat heavy within his chest as he remembered the quiet sadness that filled her eyes - mixed with question and yearning - as she watched him tentatively crawl to her in the waning light of the evening before. He'd known something was wrong then. She'd remained so quiet; as if waiting, hoping for him to act. But at the same time discouraged, wondering if he ever would. They were mates by mutual pledge and he knew she loved him with all her heart. But he also knew it wasn't enough to simply consider her his mate. Deep down he knew he must show her in a manner fitting who and what he was. His ultimate expression to her that he was willing to give all of himself, professing before all creation that he was hers, and that she was his. Instead she remained waiting, as before. A lifetime.
"It is our way," she'd said.
And he was now a dragon, yet as a dragon he'd spurned their way of courtship. He denied her attempts to entice him time and again, leaving her trembling with restraint at the last. Perhaps, before his transformation had completed, he'd reasonable cause to deny her. But he could no longer reason that. She was waiting for him to claim her, to show her of the desire in his heart, not simply speak of it.
The way of a dragon.
He whispered to himself, clasping his paw tightly around the ring. He did love her, knew it without question since the night he'd gone to look for her. Only days ago he'd gladly responded to her song. He'd known longer still that he was to be a dragon, feeling the fire burn within as the dragon heart created in him pined and flared in its fight to emerge. It burned as a dragon's. Burned for her and yet he hesitated. Eragon's fangs shown briefly in a frustrated snarl. Why? Why would he do that?
It seemed as though he were frightened of something. But of what? He was a dragon! As much in heart, soul and body as any other who'd ever walked the lands or flown the skies; imbued with instincts and the ancestral memories, knowledge and wisdom of dragons spanning ages past. He felt within him the inner fire, the blood that flowed hot, pumped by the heart that beat within his chest strong and true. He felt the powerful muscles that flexed and tensed beneath his scales and skin. He'd experienced intense jealousy when he'd thought another threatened to take her from him. He'd even felt the fierce urge (fleeting as it might have been) to claim her as a dragon would. She was his mate, wasn't she? He loved and desired her, didn't he? Then what could there possibly be for him to be frightened of? He rumbled deep in his chest as the question hung in his mind. Aye. He retained all measure of his human memories and experiences. But he was still a dragon. Wasn't he?
Round and round his mind went, alternating between his human and dragon sensibilities. It reached, struggling to take hold of but one answer, only to let it slip away as another tempted him with a promise of explanation. In the end his efforts served only to discourage, confuse and leave him at a loss. In frustration he thumped his tail on the ground.
Bah! I feel as a fish out of water!
He scowled, opening his eyes to look at the glowing ring again.
Fine picture of a dragon I turned out to be.
He huffed, brooding to himself as he took the ring between two talons of his right paw. He placed it carefully on the middle-left talon of his left paw then stood and slowly walked away from her, pausing only briefly to look back in the direction where she lay sleeping. Instead of her he saw only darkness, so sighed, closed his eyes and continued on, head hung low. Part way he stopped to smell the air, catching scent of his intended destination. He resumed towards the spot where he'd lain with Saphira the night of his transformation. Reaching it, he opened his eyes, tentatively sniffing the matted ground then dropped to his haunches. His wings draped loosely along his flanks, their tips resting carelessly upon the ground.
What's wrong with me?
He berated himself, looking to the sky.
As a Rider I faced armies and shades bent on killing me. I've fought in one battle after another with fierce abandon. I've faced the Razac, assassination attempts, the threat of being eaten alive, even Galbatorix himself! I've stared down the face of death more times than I can count! And yet in all I'd always found the strength to master my fears! To push myself along the path I knew to take! Even with Arya I'd known what my heart wanted! And I was not afraid! But in this--
In this I am lost! In this my heart remains divided!
He yowled, dropping to his chest and hiding his head under his fore-paws.
I feel split between two worlds. Between two lifetimes!
He sighed and let his fore-paws slide off the top of his head to the ground. He opened his eyes and looked to the ring and released a plaintive growl.
Is this how the rest of my life it is to be? Am I to live as a sniveling hatchling? Fractured between who I was and who I now am. No longer human or elf--
His tail thrashed, ending in thump before curling behind him.
--and the mere shadow of a dragon?
Again his eyes clenched tight, his whole body trembling with the release of his silent, pleading question.
Oh, Saphira! How can I give you all of who I am? I don't even know who I am anymore!
He expected no reply for he'd barred his thoughts, not wishing to disturb her peaceful sleep with his troubles. Slowly he rose to rest on his haunches then looked back to the matted ground in front of him. He reached forward and with his right fore limb and with a single talon began to scribe into the ground with its clawed tip. As he scribed a single question lay heavy on his mind.
Who am I?
Long into the night he pondered the many possible answers to that single, penetrating question, mulling over each with extreme care. He sat thinking, scribing aimlessly, until the darkened sky began to lighten, turning from a star-specked black to a light shade of gray. The summits of the eastern mountain range peeking over the tree tops became darkened silhouettes against the back drop of a brightening horizon. The sun would soon appear above them to hail a new day. Eragon paused to stretch his body and wings then rested on his haunches again then folded his wings to his side and looked back to the ground to study what he'd scribed. His gaze passed over it slowly, connecting the seeming random lines into a single, coherent phrase. He blinked, maw parting slightly.
It was as if it appeared out of nowhere before him, the power held in its simplicity startling him. Had the answer really been in front of him all this time? Had he forgotten it so easily? Had he been so distracted with his own concerns that he'd lost sight of the one simple truth hidden within it? It was an everlasting truth; unbroken and unblemished despite the fact that they were no longer dragon and Rider. No, they were so much more than that now. He was more than that now. Even as a Rider he'd known how much it meant to him. And now he realized how much more it would mean to him, but more importantly, to her. He blinked again then narrowed his eyes in defiance to his own foolishness. His talons clenched deep into the soft, earthen floor as a low rumble sounded deep within his chest. He stood, flaring his wings wide as he looked to check on her. She remained sleeping, safe and sound. Snorting, he turned about to face the eastern mountains, as if preparing to challenge their magnificence. Tendrils of smoke billowed from his nostrils and his eyes burned with fiery determination. He'd found his answer, realized for the first time since learning of his destiny who he truly was and what he needed to do. But his answer came not through Ar'Dins words, nor his ancestral memories, nor the destiny which lay unfinished before him.
Nay. It came through his love for her alone. Through it he possessed his identity, the strength to master his fear and the clarity to see the path before him. She was everything to him. Without her he was nothing, dragon or not. Without her he could not carry on, even if he wanted to. In that moment he needed her as much as she needed him. She was the only answer he ever needed and he'd never forget it again! They were indeed one. One of heart, one of mind, one of soul. But neither was complete and soon he would remedy that, making them one in every way.
Remembering how he'd breathed fire the day before, he drew a deep breath; then, slapping his tail on the ground, looked up to the sky and loosed a brilliant fan of amethyst flame. Snapping his maw shut, he crouched, wings flared at the ready. Reaching out his thoughts, he proclaimed to the stars in the brightening sky and all manner of creatures around him, save Saphira, as if all were a multitude of witnesses gathered in eager anticipation to listen of his heart's profession.
I love her and I will show her! I will leave her waiting no longer through my foolishness. I will finish this! I will make her mine and in so doing give myself completely to her! I will give to her all that I am--
His eyes narrowed, teeth bared in a snarl, as if he were issuing warning to some unseen opponent.
--As the dragon that I am!
He growled, fiercely.
WHO AM I?
Spurred on by a blaze of fiery determination within him, along with the guidance of his draconic memories and instincts, he leapt into the air, thrusting his wings.
I am Eragon-Skulblakakönungr! King of dragons! Saphira-Bjartskular is my mate and I shall claim her! I will make her mine!
His flanks heaved with labored breath, wings flapping furiously as he fought to gain altitude. He cared not of success or failure, his only thoughts on her. Slowly he climbed higher into the morning sky until he reached a height above the trees. From there he set his eyes to the distant mountains in the east then thrust his wings again, tasting for the first time the freedom of flight by his own wings!
With each thrust of his powerful wings came a violent swoosh as Eragon fought gravity pulling against his bulk. Slowly he angled higher into the morning sky, fighting the threat of fatigue in the muscles moving his wings. Despite the burning in them he pushed on, exerting his draconic body to levels he'd not attempted until now. His forelegs reached, talons spread wide, straining as if to touch the stars. His mouth curled into a snarl to join his growls and grunts of determination.
Since Ar'Dins revelation, Eragon's fear for her safety had pre-occupied him with mastery of his new body, and over his inadequacies and failures he felt. He'd not realized the full measure of sacrifice she was patiently enduring for his sake. As he was coming to learn, draconic passion and desire were nothing to trifle with. Left wanting, she could have chosen to attack him for his refusal, just as she'd done to Glaedr, forcing her influence upon him. Instead of scorning him, she chose to bear the full weight of his denial, even going so far as to bar her thoughts from him. To spare him what must have been a terrible pain. Eragon roared in anger with himself, anguished at having inflicted such a wound upon the one he loved more than anything. As a Rider she'd been so devoted to him and even now as a dragon she remained so. How many times had she shown it? How many times had she proven her love for him? More than he could count. Such a fool he'd been to take her for granted in such a way. But no more!
It was not protection she needed. Nor did she need him squabbling and sniveling in his own failures or feelings of inadequacy. Nay! What she needed was him. Him as the dragon he was. To give to her required mastery over whatever held him back, not mastery of his ability to protect her. And master it he would! The need to protect her would come later. Right now she needed him to take the final step, to fulfill his promise to her. She needed him to prove how much he loved her. To prove to her that he was her mate, and she his. Not by his pledge, but by his actions. In all that she had endured, all that she had lost, she needed him to be the dragon she desired. To be the mate that fate had given her when all others it had taken away.
I will fulfill my promise to her! I will!
He roared again. The air moved in swift, unrelenting gusts around him, buffeting his wings, causing him to falter several times. But he pushed on with all that was in him, spiraling higher and higher. He would finish what was started. Never again would he leave her wanting as he'd done. Never again would he fail her! He was hers as much as she was his. He felt the wound he'd inflicted upon her as his own. He would not, could not, deny her again. No. Not after the last. Following the setting of the sun, beneath the first stars of twilight, he would be what she needed him to be. Nay! He would be more, give more than she expected of him. He was more than an ordinary dragon. Could love her more than an ordinary dragon. A gift carried over from his former life. A unique disposition which tempered the draconic instincts surging through him with knowledge and experience not born of dragons. He was fully capable of courting her as a dragon, aye, but he was also capable of augmenting draconic custom with his own knowledge of human intimacy, giving him unique perspective into the wonder and celebration of prolonging their pleasure in one another through acts of exploration and tenderness that no other dragon would ever consider, let alone be capable of. It would be his special gift to her. And he would give it. Prolong the moment, sustain their ecstasy and allow their draconic passion to build to such heights until neither could hold back any longer. Then and only then would he take her, beneath a star-lit sky, with the fierceness of a dragon and complete their union, roaring with her in release. Together as one.
Eragon rolled his head, shaking the image from his mind. He'd have to wait for tonight, for now he needed to stay his course. Again he thrust his wings, following with another roar. Ar'Dins proclamation came forth from his memory. Indeed it was time for him to rise and rise he would, beginning with mastery of the sky! He was a dragon, a king of wild dragons, but in this moment he was king of the sky! Panting, he thrust his wings again, carrying him higher with increased speed. The muscles along his shoulders burned, but he did not care. He was doing this as much for her as for himself and he would not stop until he reached a height above the still distant mountains, that he might look down upon them as he approached. He was a dragon! A king! Nothing would set itself higher than him in his domain! Nothing! The forest fanned out far below him lie a darkened mass, stretching in every direction. The clearing appeared as a faded blotch, growing smaller with each passing moment. And the Pree snaked through the terrain, as a silver thread, disappearing between the eastern mountains. He growled and thrust again, spiraling upwards as globs of frothy saliva escaped from the corners of his open maw. His body wreathed, the muscles along his shoulders straining to keep him aloft. He felt his body weakening, but his will only intensified. He closed his eyes tight as he loosed another growl. Summoning all his strength he thrust his wings again and again, each time gaining more height, little by little.
His tail arched with strain, body wriggling, as if he were attempting to squeeze every ounce of strength from it to gain but a little more altitude. His eyes closed tighter. Grunts and wheezes escaped him as his flanks swelled and contracted with a quickened pace as he labored to fill his lungs with air. Again he tried to roar but all he could manage was a gurgled whimper. His mouth and throat were dry and his head began to throb. He felt faint, as if he were on the verge of blacking out. Fearing he might, he fanned his wings, leveling off to let his limbs and tail hang limp while his head dropped low. He remained still with his wings keeping him aloft, carrying him on. Exhausted, his flanks heaved as he fought to catch his breath; then, without warning, a wandering air current caught up in his wings, pushing him higher. A short time later the air current settled, leaving him to glide in calm and silence. The sun began to peak over the summits ahead, filtering light through Eragon's closed eye lids. He moved his head, shying it away from the sudden light, but kept his eyes closed. He'd open them in a while. Right now he needed to rest, let his wings carry him so that he could catch his breath. Regain his strength.
As he continued on the sun rose higher, sending a dance of brilliant sparkles reflecting off the amethyst scales along his back, neck and forelegs. Quietly gliding, he bobbed on another air current then leveled off. Far below him Saphira slept, unawares of the surprise he had in store for her. The thought pleased him as a faint smile crept across his maw. Tonight was still so far off, leaving him to begin thinking of ways he could spend the day showing his love for her. He would make this day special, devote this day to her and forsake his own concerns for once. She was special to him and he'd make sure she knew it. Eragon looked forward and opened his eyes to look upon the brilliance of the sun, and the summits of the mountains set just below him, making him smile even wider.