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Chapter 15

Nightmares...we all have them. Young, old, rich, poor, stable, insane...we all have minds and sometimes they drift into that dark, swirling place in our subconscious where untold horrors dwell.

For some of us, we're forced to relive moments in our lives we'd all sooner regret. For others, the imagination twists and turns the real into the surreal. Monsters, vampires, demons...horrors we could never conceive of in the conscious mind suddenly spring to some kind of life, sending us on a jet-coaster ride of emotional torture.

Regardless of what we dream of, the awakening is always the same, isn't it? We whimper...cry...scream. Our bodies shiver from the cold sweat...and for that one brief instant after we awaken, we think we're still in the nightmare. Though our eyes are open we still see the world from our subconscious. Our hearts beat that much harder because we think that somehow...our nightmares have come true.

It never lasts, though. Before long our conscious mind re-asserts itself and the veil is lifted. We see through the deluded haze, and we get that wonderful sense of relief as we realize it was only a dream. That's how it always ends, isn't it? There's always that happy ending that leaves us shaken...maybe a little disturbed...but always awake...

And safe...

But what happens when the nightmare doesn't just disappear? What if, while you're still awake, the nightmare overtakes you, and there is no waking up...what then? How do you escape the terror when no matter what you do or where you try to go, it's always over your shoulder, ready to take you down again?

The knife against my throat was small, but sharp. The tiger holding it had it exactly placed against the right vein too. A quick flick of his wrist and I was as good as dead. He knew it too; I could hear him purring softly behind me. He gave off the distinct impression that he enjoyed doing this to people.

I could hear someone whimpering nearby, and managed to turn my head just enough to see Te'Ki a few meters away. Like me, she was being held from behind, but by a lion...a very big lion. He had the kind of build that would have made him a monster on the La'Chan wrestling circuit. Hells, he could have mowed down a dozen Shatlia without a thought. If someone that big was holding her, I began wondering just how big was the guy holding me.

"Are you all right?" I asked her. She could look at me for only a moment before the lion forced her to look away. She let out a small scream as she was righted, which caused me to tense up. I heard a low growl of warning come from my captor, then the distinct sound of him licking his lips slowly.

"Don't do nothin' stupid, pretty boy," he said softly. "Be a shame ta bleed a fine lookin' kitten like you so soon."

"What do you want with us?" I demanded.

The tiger chuckled lowly. "It ain't what I want," he said. "It's what he wants." He forced me to look away from Te'Ki and focus on two figures emerging from the shadows. It was then I realized just how isolated we were down here. Te'Ki and I were effectively cut off from the rest of the world in this alley. Her loudest scream would probably never be heard by anyone out there. No one would ever know we were down here until our bodies were discovered by happenstance.

The two figures that approached wore what looked like expensive business suits. The one on the left, a cheetah, looked like he'd been in a few fights in his day. He reminded me a bit of Silas, in that his face bore the scars of a hard life. However, unlike Silas, his eyes were hard...intense. It seemed that all it would take was a word, and he'd rip us both to shreds.

"So," said the other one, a jaguar, "what've we got here, hm?" He strode over towards me, his hands behind his back. "What's your name, boy?"

"I..." I was unsure of what else to say. "What do you want with us?" I remember how pathetic I sounded at that moment. Barely an adult, trying to show a brave face in front of someone I loved. Yet, as brave as I had to be, there was no denying my own fears. Were it just me, I'd risk anything to teach these four a lesson they'd not soon forget. But with Te'Ki in danger that all changed. I didn't know how to act...what to do...and that loss of control was the beginning of this living, conscious nightmare.

"Y'see," the jaguar said. "We've got a little problem here. It appears you are in possession of something that belongs to someone else."

"What...what're you..." He turned slightly and nodded towards Te'Ki. I followed his nod and saw the fear in my cougar's eyes. "What are you saying?" I asked.

"I'm saying," the jaguar growled, getting right in my face, "that you...are in...for a world of hurt." His breath smelled of bad liquor and stale tobacco. I heard the cheetah next to him crack his knuckles. "Big T don't like it when someone steals from him...makes him mad."

"Leave him alone," Te'Ki shouted. He turned and stormed over to her. He cocked his right hand and delivered a backhand slap that echoed in the alleyway. She winced loudly, and probably would have crumpled to the ground had that lion not been holding her up.

"SHUT YER MOUTH, BITCH!" the jaguar snarled. "Big T said to find you, but he didn't say in what kind of condition we have to bring your ass back in, so I suggest you keep that lil' mouth o' yours shut.."

Hearing that slap and seeing Te'Ki in danger helped take the edge off the fear I was feeling. "Te'Ki!" I yelled. I tried to lunge, ignoring the knife at my throat but the tiger held me firm. The cheetah came in hard and fast, punching me in the stomach...hard. I hadn't expected it to hurt that much, and on reflex I doubled over.

Thankfully the tiger holding me seemed rather experienced at holding people at knifepoint. As I felt myself pitch over he gripped me even tighter, but was careful not to let the knife cut me. Unfortunately, he also left my abdomen exposed for another punch from the cheetah. I was still recovering from the first punch, and had no time to tense my muscles for the impending blow. A few more like that, and the expensive Twaro steak I'd just enjoyed would be decorating the cheetah's suit.

Fortunately he stopped his assault after that second blow. I thought I could taste blood on my tongue...blood....my blood....

Like the sound of a knife clearing its sheath, the taste of my own blood somehow opened my eyes...but from within. It was like the clouded euphoria I'd been feeling before...that sensation of surreal separation from all this was suddenly blown away like fog by a wind. It felt like my senses sharpened...my vision snapped into clear, perfect focus. My heart began to pound, and something deep inside felt like it was awakening.

I kept down the growl that was forming in my throat as the jaguar turned his attention back to me. "Big T's been lookin' fer this bitch for a while now...thought she was goin' independent." He snickered. "Looks like instead o' that, she done found herself a boyfriend." He got up in my face again. "So tell me, kid...is she good? She good ta you, hm? Well how do ya think she got that way?"

I looked over at Te'Ki again. I could see the dread in her eyes as she stared back. The dread...and the shame. What the jaguar was implying couldn't be true, could it? No...she couldn't have been...not willingly.

"What...you didn't know?" he asked, snapping my attention back on him. He laughed out loud. "I don't believe this...y'all believe this?" He panned his gaze around at the others. "He didn't know." He then looked over at Te'Ki. "You never told him...figures. Y'know, maybe you should've, bitch...maybe ya should've told him all the things you's good at...you'd rock his world good then, wouldn't ya?"

He walked over to her, and with a nod she was forced to her knees. Every struggle or cry of protest was met with a slap or growl. "Yeah," the jaguar said. "Maybe we oughta give your boy a little show, hm? Maybe show him all your tricks." He moved in closer, and I saw her trying to turn away. My heart began to pound, and that feeling deep inside...that growing...whatever it was...began pushing against my thoughts. I thought for a moment that someone had slipped me some kind of drug, but drugs dull the senses...if anything, my senses were growing sharper...better...

Primal...

I could hear the tiger's breathing grow a little heavier. Was he anticipating what was coming? Had he seen something like this before? How many other girls had he seen in this same situation? How many times had he gotten off watching his apparent boss humiliate one female after another? My sore stomach churned slightly as I felt him press against me a little tighter. I realized that if things progressed along the jaguar's intentions, this guy wouldn't be asserting himself over Te'Ki...he'd be turning me into his bitch.

"Oh yeah," he purred into my ear. "I'm gonna have fun breakin' you in, sweetie...Soon as Daro gives the word...you're all mine.

"Daro, please," Te'Ki whimpered. "Let him go...I'll go back, I swear...just let him go."

"I don't think so, bitch," said the jaguar â€" I guess he was Daro. "Not before he sees the real you." I saw him reach for something just below his waist...was that his zipper? "Yeah, bitch," he said. "Let's give him a show, eh? C'mon...just like you used to. Kinda like riding a bike, isn't it?"

Te'Ki tried to turn away again but this time Daro gripped her by the ear and forced her to face him. I couldn't see what she was staring at, but I had a pretty good idea. I could see him fondling himself with the hand that wasn't holding Te'Ki's head. She continued to struggle but his hand held her fast.

This time, I couldn't stop the growl. Daro had turned just enough that I could see him exposed. He was pointing his manhood directly at her face and she was trying in vain to turn away from it. He growled lowly and yanked on Te'Ki's earrings, forcing her to face his protruding flesh.

"You know what to do bitch," he said, his voice growing savage. "So get to it." He pushed forward and I felt my stomach lurch as it pressed against her lips. With a cry she turned away once more, ignoring the obvious pain she was in from his holding her by those three earrings. "I SAID SUCK IT, BITCH!" he roared, and with a pull he ripped the earrings from her.

I never heard the scream...never heard the others begin to laugh like idiots. All I saw was Daro pulling...pulling those three silver hoops forcefully. I swore I could hear the flesh tear...see the blood spray from her ear. I thought I could see each droplet arc through the air in slow motion before it spattered on the ground.

I saw her muzzle pull back...her lips tightening to reveal her teeth, now opening to scream...but I never heard it. I never heard it...because my ears were filled with the sound of my own roar. Whatever I'd felt earlier...that feeling that was growing inside suddenly exploded in my chest. My body burned with a rage I'd never felt before, not even when Grandfather had tried to hurt Te'Ki. No...this was new...this was raw...

This was feral...

I raised my left foot and brought it down with everything I could muster behind it. It wouldn't have meant much against the tiger holding me had my legs not been augmented. The heel of my shoe drove down on the top of his foot with the force of a piledriver. I felt the bones in his foot first yield, then crack...then shatter. It took him a full second to realize what had happened, and by that time I'd wrenched his knife-wielding arm away from my throat and stepped away from him. Still holding his arm out I cut loose with a punch directly to his armpit, and was rewarded by the satisfying pop of his shoulder dislocating. By then his screams had finally found him and he dropped to the ground, writhing in utter agony.

I turned and was met by the cheetah's fist. He snapped a punch off across my muzzle. When I think about it now, I don't really recall it hurting that much. In any case, I let the force of the punch drive me into a spin. As I spun I cocked my fist and, when I faced my attacker again I lashed out. The punch hadn't been meant for his face or even his stomach. I was aiming lower...much lower than that. The open-handed punch connected solidly with his knee, which again would have meant little were it not for the rage I was feeling and the cybernetic implants. Bones snapped, cartilage tore, tendons ripped, and his scream filled my ears like some sadistic symphony.

I recovered my stance just as the cheetah hit the ground, grabbing his nearly-severed leg and howling in pain. Freed of my captors, I now shifted my gaze to the two holding Te'Ki. I felt my fangs begin to itch with that feeling of bloodlust once more as I saw him turn towards me. I shivered with delight as I watched his face turn from that smug look to one of absolute terror.

"G...get him!" I heard him shout. I glanced over towards Te'Ki to see the lion had let her go. She crumpled to the ground, holding her bleeding ear and crying softly. That only fuelled the growing rage within me. My fists clenched and claws extended as I gave in just that much more to the anger within me. This packla had dared to hold my beloved while Daro tortured and humiliated her. He was going to pay and pay dearly.

The lion closed quickly with a powerful but clumsy attempt at a right cross. I blocked it and cut loose with one of my own. I connected with his jaw, but not nearly as hard as I wanted to. The force of his punch that I'd blocked had been enough to put me a little off balance. Still, it was hard enough that he reeled from it, which gave me a chance to right myself. Before he could recover I came in fast and hard, fists and claws swinging. Strong as the lion was, he wasn't that quick, nor did it seem that he was too used to an opponent who fought back. Hmph...probably too busy beating down defenceless young girls.

Slow as he was, the battle was far from one-sided. Enraged and strong as I was, I was still not experienced enough to avoid every swing. He landed a few good shots...ones that I'd be sure to feel in the morning, but at that moment I felt no pain...only a burning desire to lay this packla out like a slab of meat before his master. I wanted nothing more than to show Daro in as much detail as I could the amount of hurt to which I was about to subject him.

I thought I heard Daro whimper over the scream the lion let out when I kicked out first one, then the other knee. Like the cheetah, I'd held nothing back in destroying those joints, and in the process nearly amputated him. The moment he fell I was on him like a predator, fists burying themselves in his muzzle. Blood, bone, and teeth splattered on the pavement with each punch. How I ended up not killing him that night mystifies me to this day. Still, when I finally rose up, the lion was going to need more time in reconstructive surgery than I spent in a coma.

I must have looked a sight as I faced our last attacker...the one who would dare hurt Te'Ki. I was covered in the blood of three foes, all of which wouldn't make it out of this alley lest they crawled. My fists were soaked with the lion's blood, and I could only imagine my eyes were bloodshot from the boiling rage inside.

Daro's fear was so thick in the air it was nauseating. Normally, the scent of primal fear has an almost narcotic effect on predators, but at that moment it was too much. Clearly, it had been some time since this jaguar had fought his own battles. He'd grown complacent, depending more on his henchmen than his own skills. Now, he was going to pay for that complacency.

With each step I took towards him he retreated. Te'Ki had been long forgotten by the both of us at this point. All I could think of was tearing this packla in half, and I imagined all he could think about was how to make it out of this alley alive. I snarled at him, and was rewarded by another scent mixing in with the overpowering smell of fear. I chanced a quick glance downward and nearly began laughing. He had all but shrivelled up down there, and now the white fur of his sheath was quickly turning yellow as he lost control of his bladder.

In that one split second of averting my eyes, Daro struck out at me. His fist connected with my muzzle hard, forcing me back a step or two. He got in two more good punches before I finally got my bearings and was able to counter. I blocked his next attempt and responded with a hard punch to his gut. As he doubled over I introduced him to my knee, which forced his head back up and straight into a lunge punch that pushed him back against the alley wall. I was on him in mere heartbeats, alternating punches between his stomach, chest, and muzzle. I could see and smell the blood dripping out of his mouth...I could see the shattered teeth flying away from him and landing on the ground. My whiskers tingled as I thought I felt his very life slipping away from him...dying...by my hands...

It felt glorious...

I was just about to deliver a final shot to Daro's head when I heard a quiet whimper from behind me. I stopped and turned slightly. Te'Ki was sitting up now, watching me pummel Daro into jaguar pate. She was watching, and she was shaking. I looked into her eyes and I saw...I saw the fear in them...fear, directed at me. She was no longer afraid of Daro or any of his now-unconscious cohorts. Now, her fear was directed solely at me...the one who saved her.

I took a look at my still-clenched fist. Blood, gore, and tooth fragments mixed in with my fur there. I couldn't even see my natural fur colour on my hand for all the blood. I stared down at my shirt. It too was covered in blood. I opened my fist, feeling the pain of it being clenched so tightly for so long. The sickening realization welled up within me as I panned around the alley. I saw the broken bodies of the lion, tiger, and cheetah, all of them moaning in pain and despair, and then I turned back to Daro. Blood was pouring out of his mouth and nose. Had I landed that final blow, I know for certain that I would have killed him. He would have died by my hands and I would have revelled in it. The moment he'd breathed his last, I was positive I would have roared my triumph to the Patrons, showing them what they'd unleashed on our kind by allowing my exile.

I relaxed and let Daro go. He slumped to the ground and wheezed painfully. As I walked away I could hear him hocking up blood and phlegm to try and clear his throat. Unless he had a gun on him, there was nothing he could do now anyway. Not to me, and thankfully no longer to Te'Ki.

I knelt before her and bowed my head, feeling ashamed for letting things go as far as I had. I'd inflicted more pain...more suffering...than was necessary for us to escape. A few quick shots to break their hold on us, and we could have run for it. Yet now, here we were, two blood-covered kids surrounded by a ring of near-corpses. I'd lost control; the image of Daro ripping those earrings out of her still burned in my mind. Yet, each time I felt the anger swell, the memory of the fear in Te'Ki's eyes replaced that anger with shame...humiliation. I felt worthless now...somehow unworthy of her.

When I felt her hand touch the side of my muzzle I looked up. The fearful look in her eyes was gone now, and in its place was a sad but understanding expression. Wordlessly I moved towards her, kissing her lightly on the lips. She returned the kiss and we embraced tightly. I felt myself beginning to shake from both the adrenaline fade and the upwelling of emotions within me. This only made her hold me tighter.

"I'm sorry," I choked out finally. "I'm so sorry, Te'Ki. I didn't mean to."

"I know," she choked back. "I know."

Finally, after the shaking and tears stopped, I helped her to her feet. Her ear was a mess, both bloody and torn, but there were clinics in the downtown core that could fix that with little problem. As to all the blood and gore on my clothes, I figured one of the four packlas lying around the alley would have a suit jacket that fit. It wouldn't be much, but at least it would cover up some of the evidence that was splattered all over me.

The tiger who'd been so intent on taking away another virginity of mind was my first choice for a potential clothing donator. His jacket was a little big, but it would do the job. He squealed in pain as I removed the jacket, but by that point I was too numb to really care or do anything about it.

We moved back towards the street from where we'd been taken. In spite of all I'd done in that alley, and how I felt about it, I took some comfort in knowing that Daro and his comrades wouldn't be on the prowl for us anytime soon. Their injuries aside, the memory of what happened in that alley would doubtlessly haunt them for months, if not years. They'd dared to mess with the mate of a L'au Tari, and for that, they nearly paid the ultimate price.

Even to this day, I still ponder what would have happened had I not stopped. Could I have possibly killed Daro? Would my rage have held out long enough for me to actually take another life?

Every time I think about it, one word comes to mind...a word spoken with a sweet, seductive whisper dripping with venomous lust.

Yes...