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Chapter 5

After we returned to Hogwarts Po went to fix Johan's helmet with dark magic. In her chapel she took a black chicken out of a box and broke its neck, and the blood poured into a jar. She then draw a swastika with the blood and I had to fight my urge to get on my knees and lap the red nectar from the ground, specially because I was in a sacred place.

"Thou shalt return to normal or to Heaven thy foulness shall be sent" chanted Po

The helmet was repaired, and we were ready to summon the first god, Hufflepuff. Johan made a whole in the ground and placed himself there, and then ordered us to drown him in sand. When then filled his nostrils and mouth with soil, and as the body was dying Krauss' ghost returned to his suit. Chuck Norris then died for good.

"Ah, vhat a beutifull moment! Not only ve vill summon a god, ve also killed a threat to satanists!"

Everyone but the stupid la veyan preps celebrated by cutting the wrists, though as Johan Krauss is a ghost he simply cut his suit's wrists. Blood and ectoplasm came out and licked each other's arms and wrists, except Johan's because nobody likes ectoplasm, so he sucked what he had lost into his suit again. Then he opened the hole on his suit's finger and part of his essence came out and floated to the corpse and to the swastika. He chanted some words in esperanto (the language of the satanists) and an interdimensional portal appeared. Out of it came an egg made of wood. Johan picked it and showed it to everyone. While we the werewolves and vampires were fascinated with it the la veyan preps mad confused looks, and we showed them our middle fingers.

"Zis, students, is ze egg of Hufflepuff. It is made of vood because she is ze goddess of the Earth, and she vill come out of it once ve summon ze other gods"

He then placed it in the middle of the swastika, and then a stupid la veyan prep made an attempt to break it. Thankfully we stopped him and Po stripped him naked and tied him to the wall with dark magic, and then she began whipping him. Everyone (including the other preps) began laughing at his humiliation as we left with our christian prisioners. He then headed for the fountain, where Johan grabbed a duck and broke its neck, and drew a pentagram on the ground with its blood. He then grabbed one of the christians and tied his arms and legs.

"Stop, please don't kill me!" he begged, the fucker, "if you spare me I will allow you all to go to heaven!"

"Poor stupid christian, you know ve don't vant to go to heaven! Its ze most boring place on ze universe! Zat's why satanists go to hell, because it is a lot happier"

"You poor misguided souls! Might God punish you all!"

With that we threw the pest to the fountain, where he drowned. Krauss again chanted some words and another portal manifested itself; Slytherin's egg, made of coral, had landed in the middle of the pentagram, and thankfully no stupid prep attempted to destroy it. We then proceed to go to the obelisk, where we pierced the nigger's lungs and broke a falcon's neck and drew a raven. An egg of bones appeared, and we placed Ravenclaw's object on the raven picture. And finally, we went to the satanist church (in the middle of the northern hall of Hogwarts) and we tied the remaining christian and burned him, while we broke Fawk's neck and drew an inverted cross, from which Gryffindor's iron egg came from. Then he chanted a spell and all eggs hatched. Right in front of us a lion of fire had emerged. It was Gryffindor! Then a snake of water (Slytherin), a bird of air (Ravenclaw) and a badger of earth (Hufflepuff!) all appeared as well. We all kneeled before them, except for some stupid preps, which were incinerated, drowned, smashed and suffocated by the gods.

"Thanks for releasing us from our bounds" said Hufflepuff, "as a reward we shall..."

"What the fuck is going on here!?" said Cornelius Fuck

Chapter6

"Oh no, not you again!"

"Mister Cornelius, I vas showing ze students how to summon ancient deities!"

Suddenly Cornelius Fuck's perpetually angry face softened into a smile and looked at me. I swear I could see him licking his lips, but I quickly dismissed that as an allucination for not having sex for about half an hour.

"Well done, I can see this student has quite some potential. If he wasn't such a Mary Sue I would up-grade him to the Apostle status."

I felt offended by being compared to Bella from Twilight, but at the same time I was very curious because no one in this version of Hogwarts told me anything about such status. Was it very important?

"Apostle status?"

"Oh right, I still haven't teached you about zat" said Johan, "You see, vhen a student has a lot of potential, ve take him to ze God Hand so he/she can be up-graded into an Apostle, a higher demon!"

"Thats awsome! Did anyone here became an Apostle?"

"Nope; in fact, it is a very rare occurence. Nonezeless, it is a spectucular thing to see. If one is particularly lucky, he/she vill become a member of ze God Hand!"

"Is there any chance I could become an Apostle?"

"Well", said Cornelius, "I'll give you an object called Behelit. When you are ready to become an Apostle it'll summon the God Hand."

He then gave me a necklace with a red ball with eyes, a nose and a mouth all in the wrong order. I thanked him and then I walked towards Hufflepuff, who was still waiting for me to ask a wish.

"I wish I will have the chance to become an Apostle!"

"Wish granted, child of Hufflepuff."

The goddess then joined the other gods in creating havoc and all the la veyan preps who weren't smashed to death were crying because they broke their nails or some trivial shit like that. I then went outside to apreciate the breeze; I stood on my human form in the edge of a cliff, with nothing but my swimming shorts on my body. I then laid in the grass, enjoying the sun's warmth and the wind. Once I closed my eyes I felt a hand caressing my cheek; I opened my eyes and I saw the smilling face of my bf. We kissed and then he laid on the grass next to me. We've spent quite some time doing nothing but to cuddle in silence, no words needed for that moment. Sadly the bell rang and we had to seperate again for classes, but not without another kiss. I don't know why, but I felt that, after John had gone to his pseudo-science class, I was being watched, but I quickly dismissed that as some need for sex.