Tubby Tabby (One-Shot)
#3 of One-Shots
An adult human named Sean has to take care of his older brother's two macro cats for a few days.
They fart on him a lot.
Sean was a white, twenty year old man on his way to his older brother's house, whom he was living with while he had the summer off from college after his junior year getting his business degree. He had a key to the house, so he was able to walk right up to the door to read the letter that had been pinned on it.
_"Dear Sean, I'll be gone at a medical conference for the next two weeks, and I need you to take care of my two cats. They're very nice and playful, and I'm sure you'll grow to love each other, as long as you can put up with some of their shenanigans! One is an orange maine coon named George, and the other is a white domestic shorthair named Grace.
There's food in the fridge, of course, and they can tell you where their cat food is. Have a good couple of weeks! Love, David"_ Sean sighed; it was just like David to abandon him with these two responsibilities while he went and did some doctor thing. "What a dick," he whispered to himself as he fiddled with his keys and unlocked the door, walking into his brother's huge house and ready to relax from a long day traveling. "Oh well," he said to himself, "at least it's just some cats."
What his brother had neglected to mention in his letter was that the two cats he had acquired were macros, creatures which were an order of magnitude in size larger than was typical for their breed; this left Sean entirely unprepared for his first sight when he entered the house. Yes, they were definitely two cats, but George was easily the size of an elephant - and _overflowing_with excess fat - and Grace, while much smaller, was still slightly larger than most horses, although they each kept (at least most of) their feline grace.
For a second after he enters the house, all our hero Sean can do is stare at the sight of the very last thing he'd expected to see lying right in the middle of his brother's foyer: the first thing he noticed was the larger of the two cats, and the second thing he noticed was the smaller white one, who was being held down and forcibly bathed by the big, bright orange ball of fur and flab.
"Hi there, Sean! We've heard all about you from our - slight emphasis on the_our_- David," the big fluffy orange cat said in-between thoroughly licking the thinner white one. "I'm George, and the little one here-" he was clearly referring to the thin, bright white, Clydesdale-sized feline- "is Grace," he said, just before completely burying her face under his enormous tongue. The human briefly wondered whether she was going to drown under all that saliva or not, but then decided that he wasn't going to fuck with the giant cat, if only because anything that size could easily make his life miserable for the next three months that he was going to be living here.
"C'mere, kid," the big orange cat said; underneath his speaking, high-pitched squeaking sounds could be heard, which Sean was pretty sure was Grace (loudly) protesting her tongue-bath. It didn't take much longer for all of the poor cat's hair to get blown back as George burped in her face, a nasty, audible blast that mostly smelled like dry cat food.
"_Geeee-oooooorge!"_she frowned, swatting at his head with one of her paws. "Don't be so gross! Aren't you always telling me how to be an adult cat?" "Yes," he said, yawning and practically swallowing her entire head in the process, "but embracing your natural bodily functions _is_a part of being an adult cat, little one." As if to illustrate his point, his belly gurgled loudly, and the larger cat rolled over, lifting up his jiggly, fat rump before dropping it down over her head; Sean couldn't do anything but watch in abject horror as Grace's entire upper body disappeared underneath her best friend's arse cheeks, her face slipping in-between them with ease thanks to George's great weight. She started pawing at his huge ass cheeks, but all she ended up doing was making them jiggle even more than usual as he settled his rear end over her, engulfing her under his fat ass and inserting her up his bum, which was clearly in desperate need of washing, since he was far too heavy to reach back there himself.
Soon after the big orange cat settled over his friend in what he thought was a hilarious prank, one of his paws shot out and caught Sean, lifting him up and dragging him over to where the two macro ferals were lying on the floor. The human was shoved roughly between the cat's fat belly and his heavy paw, the former of which shook greatly with his laughter as the human sunk deeply into the elephantine feline's excess pudge, which had alarmingly begun to gurgle loudly when Sean started (ineffectively) trying to climb his way out.
The gurgling belly was loud enough that Grace was able to hear it even under all of George's piles of flab, and she redoubled her efforts to try to claw her own way out; this turned out to be completely ineffective, as all that happened was that her friend's ass started jiggling even more copiously than usual. She made absolutely no progress before he lifted his tail and farted copiously and explosively, stinky cat gas washing over poor little Grace as if it were hurricane-force winds, and it certainly would have bowled her over had she not been pinned down under all the maine coon's excessive weight.
It didn't take long for George to get one of his ideas, and decide that he should introduce this new human to the wonders of, as he put it, "natural feline bodily functions" that a mature cat should recognize and use as frequently as possible.
Poor Sean had no idea what he was in for as the unbelievably obese orange cat lifted himself off of his best friend, leaving her lying on the floor gasping for relatively fresh air even as George allowed himself to evacuate some enormous farts into the room's atmosphere. He couldn't reach his own rear end, of course, to insert the little human up there, so he gave Grace a few minutes to recover before whispering instructions into her ear.
She got up, shook herself off, and - prepared to do anything to avoid going back up her friend's asshole - lifted Sean up in her paw, and shoved him up George's huge, malodorous arse; after a few seconds she'd managed to actually plug it using her paw and the tiny human's body, while the larger cat's huge ass _jiggled_from the sheer force of his evacuating gas. Nothing in this world stinks like a cat fart, and Sean was practically drowning in the bright orange feline's copious flatulence as it exploded out of George's ass like a gale, which was making the obese cat's entire body shake from the force - especially his rear, which billowed up and down like an ocean, the sides of his two cheeks smacking into each other, and the human's body, and covering him in the smell of dried cat shit, for which George and Grace were not sorry for at all.
From Sean's perspective, of course, it was a thousand times worse; he got to feel every time George's nasty butt undulated, slamming him back and forth into the two sides of the furry butt cheeks, and practically drowning him in the smell of poo. His hair blew back from the extreme force of George's awful farts, and the cat's intestinal wind was so strong that it felt like it was going to blow him away!
After a while, the huge cat got up and shook himself, bracing himself as he prepared to release yet another monumental burst of flatulence and making sure that he wasn't going to blow himself away with the force of his own anal wind; "Hey Seannie boy!" he said, looking back at the human who was supposed to be 'taking care of them' and grinning, "Hold on tight, because this is gonna be a big one!".
He wiggled his monumental bum in the poor kid's face, releasing a cloud of gas that was gigantic even for him, and finally walking over to his cat bed to fall asleep. It was going to be a long night for poor Sean, he knew, as he lifted his tail again and a burst of flatulence exploded out of him and made his big butt shake for what must have been the millionth time.
Grace slapped her friend's huge orange rear with one of her paws, making it jiggle enough to slap her in the face with one of his butt cheeks. "Hey! I'm still back here, ya know! The least you could do is quiet down your asshole."
He responded by covering her head in another one of his explosive farts, and leaving her face like that under his butt for the entire night; he didn't approve of his young friend's cussing.
FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT.
And, she supposed, that was for her to find out the hard way: by being suffocated via her corpulent friend's awful flatulence.
The next day, George woke up and shook himself off, getting up off of Grace... in order to violently fart in her face, hard enough that the little human that had been stuck there rocketed out of his sizable rump and slammed into her head, bouncing off of it and landing on one of their many pillows.
"PHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBT!" The big cat had responded to Sean's predicament by covering him in yet another nasty and explosive bout of flatulence, one which sounded like an engine that had been left running.
"Now, little one, I can't reach back to my large behind well enough to... uh, wipe. Normally Grace does it, but I think she deserves a bit of a break from all that, don't you? So today, you're going to do it for her, using these wet, clean sanitation wipes. But first..."
He trotted himself over to his litter box - which happened to be larger than most people's closets - lifted his tail in a motion that was now familiar to Sean, and let loose with quite a large burst of cat shit; it would have easily been enough to bury the human being, only he was stuck under the great girth of George's belly, listening to it burble and splash as he released an enormous pile of poop that quite matched his hefty weight.
The big cat grinned and shoved the human under and past his squishy belly, practically engulfing the poor kid in his huge, tubby midriff before pushing him past the stomach area and picking him up with his tail.
Unfortunately, just as the struggling college student tried to get away from the cat's nasty asshole, he began farting a big, silent, but incredibly_stinky gust of wind: "_PffffffFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!" Which was, coincidentally, when the 'coon got stuck in a door, and the poor, enormous, farting cat had no recourse but to stand there and let loose the explosive flatulence that was his trademark onto the human, who had no choice but to grin and bear it and look the cat's big, jiggly butt right in the asshole as the room they were stuck in quickly filled with the suffocating stench of flatulence.
"I guess you'll have to get out and push, kid!" George said, grinning madly at how hilarious he thought this whole situation was. "It's just going to get wetter from here; have you ever heard of a dutch oven?"
Sean responded to this situation in the most sane way he possibly could have: by leaving. George had forgotten that the room had two exits, and had just let the poor human go. He'd have been crazy not to leave!
And he did - shutting the door behind him.
"Hey, big guy, don't worry! You'll be able to get out as soon as you slim down enough. I'm sure you'll be fine!"
Grace found herself extremely_distressed with her best friend's predicament; a situation which was actually making her more unhappy by the second, since when she tried to shove his big butt out of the doorway, her body just sank into the larger cat's colossal backside, at which point he _farted all over her, covering her whole body in his nasty cat gas.
"You're so gross, man! Remember the talk we had about keeping it down back here?" She asked him, swatting at his rump with her foot and watching it bounce up and down as she smacked into it, seeing her paw sink deeply into the excess fat on her friend's huge behind, disappearing under her ocean of an ass cheek, which he could have used to engulf her upper body if he'd been so inclined (and free from the doorway). He was the size of an elephant, and around 12,000 pounds; she was the size of a horse, and around 2,000, so the balance of power between them was far from equal.
"Remember the talk we had about 'embracing your natural bodily functions'?" He said, wiggling his rear again and making her watch as he farted explosively once more, this time_bowling her over_with the sheer force of his intestinal wind. First, for a moment, everything was silent except for his gurgling belly, sort of like being in the eye of a hurricane; and then there was this loud_BOOOOOOOOOOOOMing_noise, during which a massive burst of flatulence roared out of George's asshole and hit Grace like a truck, whacking her in the face with the orange cat's overwhelming, noxious flatulence.
One second Grace was standing right there, staring at her friend's ginormous rear end and trying to think of how to extricate him from the doorway, he was stuck in and the next the big orange cat's butthole practically exploded, anal wind slamming into her like the world's most disgusting train and knocking her onto her back... while simultaneously freeing the larger feline from the doorway he'd gotten stuck in.
She got up, shook herself off, and launched herself onto his face, covering it with her smaller - but still quite sizeable - rear end. His nose helpfully slipped between the cat's two white-colored cheeks, thin as they were, at which point she was able to fart up his nose; she wasn't nearly as gassy as he was, but she still tried!
He let her get in one big blast, and two or three tinier ones -PFFFBBBBBTBBBBT, PFT, PFT, BFRT - before grabbing her with one of his paws and lifting her off of him, calmly setting her on the ground, before he stuck his head over to her and began to lick her _entire_head at the same time, covering it in cat spit. "Eugh, Geoooorge!" she said, trying to wipe her face off with one of her forepaws. "Now I smell like cat spit!"
"You deserve it!" He said, laughing and poking her with one of his paws, knocking her over in the process before he shook himself off, his fur fluffing out in all directions. "If you're going to fart on someone, little creature, let's go and find Sean; you can practice on him. I'm due to get some revenge, anyway, after he just left me in that doorway!" She laughed and nodded, "Let's go and find him, haha! You can fart on_him_instead of on me, for once."
The silly human had underestimated the two cat's ingenuity, and had hid in his room under some blankets with the door closed under the assumption that they couldn't open any doors. It was a sensible assumption, but it was dead wrong, and Grace was able to the bedroom door silently and without trouble, just before getting shoved aside by George, who had decided that _he_was going to be the one to baptize Sean to the glory of macro kitty dutch ovens.
He jumped on the bed with all of the grace you'd anticipate from a cat, but with all of the weight you'd expect from an African bush elephant; Grace giggled to herself as the floor shook under her, and Sean awoke with an audible gasp. He stuck his head out of the covers to see an expanse of paunch hidden by orange-colored fur; he immediately tried to dive out of his bed, but unfortunately ended up getting caught in one of George's huge paws and gently placed back under his duvet. The tubby tabby grinned at his new friend, displaying a mouth full of teeth and blowing his breath over the human's head, ruffling his hair; he groaned and tried to shove the tomcat's paw away, but it didn't actually work.
"You know," He said, "David, your brother, taught me all these wonderful tricks to try on you. I'm going to do one of them on you now: this one's called the 'Covered Wagon', and it's reserved for the special individuals who leave me stuck in doorways." He then lifted the long, thick tail that he possessed which was typical of his breed, curling it around the relatively tiny human and hoisting him up in the air. Sean began tugging at the tail to try to escape, but it was too heavy, and thick, and _strong_for him to make any progress - so he could do nothing as the cat positioned itself on the bed, his enormous, fuzzy rump covering the entire mattress; the (relatively) tiny man even found _himself_buried up to his waist under his sibling's flabby feline. As Sean tried desperately to make his way out from under his impromptu burial under George's ass, a terrible smell began to waft out from under the larger animal's tail, which lifted up and draped over the human's back, exposing the huge cat's proportionally large anus whilst a putrid smell began to exit from his rear end as it swayed back and forth, his cheeks noisily clapping together once every few minutes whenever he shook it too hard to one side or another. (His badonkadonk and tail were the only parts of his body which would fit over the bedframe, but that sure didn't stop good ol' George... or his big ol' butt.).
Sean was left to lay there, stuck between the immense cat and the bed frame, his head far closer to George's chocolate starfish than was comfortable by any stretch of the imagination; he struggled to climb out from under his brother's cat, but ended up just making his monstrously-sized arse quiver. "George!" He said, trying to breath in as much clean air as he could while stuck behind a truly humongous tailhole, "come on, man! Let me go, and I'll - oh, I don't know, I'll give you a massage! I'll give you an ass massage! Just don't keep me stuck under your asshole all night again, all right?!?"
George frowned and whined to himself, whipping his tail back and forth over Sean's head; "Young man," he said, "I cannot support this form of wretched vulgarity!" As if to punctuate this statement and add some of his own emphasis, the 'coon opened his asshole as wide as it could go. The human could only stare as it widened itself open and a putrid wind thundered out, making the cat's _entire backside_jiggle at once from the sheer force of his flatulent blast. It hit him in the face and went up his nose, roaring around his head and sending his hair flying everywhere; in response, he gagged and grasped at tufts of George's fur, desperately trying to climb up the cliff face of the rear end which had at this point almost enveloped him.
As soon as Sean made his attempt to climb George's poofy, windy butt, the tubby tabby just sat on him, cleanly inserting the hapless human in-between his two butt cheeks; the earth shook with the force he exerted just sitting himself down, his colossal rear end squishing itself against the floor as he set it down as gently as he possibly could (although there remained a loud _thud_when his rump hit the ground, covering the littler creature from head to toe in the cat's gross-looking ass fat.). Sean kept trying to get out, but all he could really do was make the giant caboose wobble and shake back and forth whenever he grasped and pulled at it; eventually he just got frustrated and just started whacking at it with his fists, but that took a long time... and all the while, the 'coon was relaxedly sitting there, with his eyes half-closed, calmly pumping out Pantagruelian blasts of air from his booty hole and purring softly as he felt each blast engulf little Sean in his immense bursts of smelly flatulence.
Grace, for her part, was carefully _avoiding the shit out of_George's backside. She'd caught him purring hard enough to shake the floor as he did nothing but belt out a series of massive, rancid farts onto a poor kid who could do nothing but lie there and gag and retch.
George's ears were as fine ever, of course, so he heard her in the doorway despite her attempts to avoid detection: "_ GRACE! _Get your skinny, miniature bottom over here! Dave called, and-" he pumped out a roaring burst of fetid flatulence, as if to punctuate his sentence- "apparently I need to go to the vet."
She knew what _that_meant: George needed a diaper, and she was gonna be the one to give it to him. Again. She sighed and shook her head: "George, you're a _giant_asshole, you know that?"
"I wouldn't keep talking like that if you know what's good for you, sweetie pie." He said, wiggling his giant posterior in her face and making her listen as Sean gagged when _even more_nasty, miasmic air washed over him.
She spent the next two minutes shoved up her best friend's rump and smelling his stinky cat flatulence, which doesn't sound like a very long time until_you're_the one stuck there.
He farted with a "PFFFFFFFFFBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTT", and she pawed at his behind as it erupted in her face - and even jiggled_on her_, as if to add insult to injury. All she managed to do was shove the Sean kid's head further up between his hefty, gargantuan buttcheeks - which did not make him very happy, because he quickly became filthy, and covered in the feline's butt-sweat.
It didn't smell very nice, either.
Grace was used to George's absurd flatulence at this point - they'd been raised together, after all, even if they hadn't been born together - enough so, at least, that she could put a diaper on her enormous companion. She tried to dodge what were, as usual, _huge_surges of anal wind from her corpulent compadre; the first one knocked her over while she was trying to put on the diaper's straps, to which she responded with her usual thing where she hit him in the buttock with one of her paws.
He then - surprisingly - calmly waited for her to finish. The worst he did the entire time she was putting on the absorbent garment was walk over to Sean, shove him against the wall with his monumental posterior, and fart hard enough to make his _entire body_wobble from the sheer force of the blast. On the underside of said monumental posterior, Sean himself was wobbling from the strength of the anal attack; it was like being in a hurricane (again!), but this time braced by one wall and one very squishy butt. And covered in sweat, of course.
As soon as the corpulent cat took a step forward and let him extricate himself from the aforementioned squishy butt, the human fell to the ground gasping for air, and almost immediately proceeded to roll over and puke his guts out all over the floor.
After he was done, he got himself tackled onto the bed by Grace, who then started to sit on top of his head as well in order to share some of the flatulent glory with her best friend. "You poor thing! You need some cheering up from little ol' Gracie." She said, an (ironically) wolfish grin forming on her face as she carefully inserted Sean's teeny little nose in-between her skinny ass cheeks.
"PPOOOOOOF. POOOF. POOF. PFFFFFF. PFT. PPPPPFFFFFOOOOOOTTTTTTT." She began by farting onto his face with all the enthusiasm available to her eleven-and-a-half-month old mind; her gas wasn't nearly as powerful or strong as George's - it didn't make Sean feel like his neck was being throttled, or make him feel like he was being suffocated or like he was drowning; it still had a little bit of that experience of sticking your head out the world's foulest car window, but it was a _hell_of a lot better than being stuck in George's rear end. He was pretty sure he wasn't going to end this particular session by vomiting everywhere, either, which made it an instant improvement over the previous.
Still, as she grinned and hiked up her tail, he help but instinctively attempt to flee; it didn't get him anywhere, but it was instinct, so it didn't matter how likely he was to succeed anyway. "POPOPOPOPOPOPPPPPPPP," went the butthole staring him in the face; all Sean could do was sigh and shove back at the giant white keister and lament two things - the twists of fate, and his jerkass brother.
Eventually - hopefully before he started to smell like the big cat's butt - George calmly padded his way over to the two "playing" creatures.
"Psssst!"He muttered in her ear. "Isn't there something you need to be doing right about now?" He said, slapping his vast rump with an equally large paw, watching Grace stare at his fundament as it jiggled like a veritable ocean of blubber - which is probably what it was, now that she thought about it.
She didn't get much time_to think about it, though, because a second or two later her best friend "_gently" shouldered into her, sending her tumbling harmlessly over on her side and off the diminutive college student.
Grace sighed, getting up and shaking herself off. "Fine, spoil _my_fine with the little guy, why don't you?!" she mumbled to herself, walking forward to properly adjust George's vet diaper.
When Sean woke up, he was... stuck, in a place that was dark and putrid-smelling. He couldn't move an inch, and every time he tried, some kind of force resisted against him, giving the sensation of being lightly slapped in the face with a wet fish (except there was no fish, and it was try, and he could _just_make out some kind of gurgling noise in the background of wherever the fuck he was.).
The first thing he tried, when he couldn't escape in any of the more obvious physical ways, was shouting. "Hey! HEY! IS ANYONE THERE??? CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME?????"
At this point, he received his first hint as to where he was, when he felt a big, sloppy, wet hole open up against his face and release an enormous surge of air, which felt like it was smothering him and - above all else - unmistakably stank like cat poop.
That's when he started to notice: every so often, but once or twice a second, he would feel a vibration in the ground along with the "slapped-in-the-face-with-a-wet-fish" feeling, followed by what must be yet another prodigious gust of nauseating wind.
Eventually, it didn't seem to matter what happened: the air inside the diaper had filled with the disgusting scent of George's gas, and Sean was pretty sure that it was either one of the big lug's massive butt-cheeks giving him the occasional _whack!_in the face every few seconds that gave the sensation of being slapped in the face with a fish.
He did make several more escape attempts, of course: the first one quickly covered him in both human and cat perspiration. After the second one, he started struggling to breath through a thick, miasmic fog made of the 'coon's repeated and excessive flatulence, all taking place directly in front of the miserable human being's face.
Eventually, the cat and the human managed to get to the vet's office (...without any help from Sean, to his considerable chagrin), with the aforementioned cat busting out _incredible_amounts of farts every step of the way; putrid gas thundered out of his anus with every second of time that lapsed, shaking the very earth with awful, reeking wind and throttling the unfortunate human as he found himself stuck in-between the two gargantuan feline rump cheeks as they quivered violently when he padded himself a step forward.
On the way to the vet's, two sixteen year old adolescents saw the overly obese cat and his powerfully shaking booty; they'd had no choice but to stand behind him on the subway, and listen to little Sean's cries for help the whole way. They had the following exchange:
"Do you think we should help him? He might pay us some money, or somethin'." "Dude, that cat is the size of a fucking truck! And do you hear the sound_of that ass? He is belting out farts faster than you could say 'uncle'! That poor dude is almost suffocating to death in there. _What do you think Mr. Giant Cat is going to do to us if we rescue his ass?" The other guy gulped and nodded. "You're right. Let's not get any closer to _that_giant, stinky behemoth than we have to."
The 'coon didn't hear them, but he didn't have to: he loved kids, especially the older ones. He sat on their heads and farted on them anyway, for sheer entertainment, for the duration of the train ride. He had to manage to do it _through_Sean's whole body, but that was more of an added challenge, really.
The veterinarian, Dr. Ferrell, turned out to be used to macro monsters and found himself completely unfazed by the sight of an obese 16,000 lb cat on the day of his yearly checkup. (Normally, Grace would've had it at the same time, but she'd gotten hers the week before, leaving good old George out in the lurch.). Heavy doses of monster cat farts continued to erupt every second or two from the cat's big, wobbly rear end, but the doctor had years of veterinary experience and gave approximately no fucks; he already knew how to control an animal like George, and as soon as his nasty gas began rocketing out of his ass, he was prepared.
He thwacked the tremendous animal on the posterior. "Hey, cut it out, you big lug!" He said, watching George's hefty cheek through the diaper as it bounced up and down with great vigor. "I won't wait a third time," he growled at the 'coon, warning the creature that things were about to get serious.
The immense vertebrate hiked up his tail and released what was, for him, a short burst of flatulence directly into the two human's faces, the awful smell easily penetrating the diaper to reach the doctor's nose. Unfortunately for the cat, Dr. Ferrell hadn't given an idle warning -
He responded to the newest burst of feline flatulence with a cattle prod to the leg. George screamed in shock from the pain, but he wasn't in any real injury, which is why the screaming coincided with a quieted down digestive system...
...and a teeny little college student, stuck in-between George's cheeks, screaming "HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!!!"
The doctor didn't rescue him; oh, he may be able to control these animals, but very few things were worth diving in-between their butt-cheeks for non-medical reasons. So the poor kid was left there to languish in the big, stinky wind-tunnel-that-wasn't, whacked in the face every time the doctor decided to examine a different part of the cat's body and the vibrations rippled back up to the rump area.
He did drag the student out of the diaper... in order to ask one question: "What does his poop smell like?" "Um... I don't know, sir, I only just me-" There was barely any time allowed to lapse before he was shoved right back into the diaper, with his head carefully situated under the wet, disgusting ringpiece.
"Grace probably knows!" George said, his face brightening for a second before dimming back again. "...but she isn't here, is she?" he asked hopefully, looking around as if she was going to leap out of a dark corner somewhere, shyly pawing at the floor. "No, I'm afraid she isn't here," the vet said, pursing his lips in displeasure. "I'm afraid you're going to have to get all of your shots today, then - you can't even miss the fifth one that I normally let you cats miss after the first year."
He responded by screaming, a loud and theatrical "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" "Not shots!" he insisted. "Anything but shots!"
Dr. Ferrell pointed back at the cattle prod. "Yes, shots. Now sit still, or this is going to be a lot more painful for you!"
Twenty minutes later, the big cat left the vet's office with no diaper on, a sore foreleg, and finally fully immunized against everything he - supposedly - needed to be immunized against. "Have a good day!" the secretary said to him as he padded out the door; he answered with a big, nasty fart, filling the secretary's room with the stench of aerosolized cat shit and blowing her hair back from the sheer force of his intestinal wind.
Then he grinned.
"When we get back, little one, I am going to fill your lungs with so many of my farts!" he said happily, dancing out the door and farting carefully and silently; there was no diaper on after all, so he had to make sure Sean didn't fly out his derrière.