FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Alex seemed anxious around Eli. She never seemed to make direct eye contact with him, and it seemed like he could tell something was wrong. He turned to look back at Elizabeth, who shrugged.

"Figured we would get you settled in tonight and see if the weather holds for tomorrow," Eli said, reaching for the cage. "I'll just put this back in the van for now." He picked up the cage and carried it towards the door.

Once the door shut, Elizabeth turned to Alex. "Are you sure everything is alright?" Elizabeth asked, concerned.

"Yeah. I think... Yeah, I'm all good." Alex stuttered as she turned back to me.

"Eli's going to take care of him. You know he's a good guy." Elizabeth placed a hand on Alex's arm. "It's the best thing for him right now."

I knew how Alex was feeling. I couldn't help but feel nervous. I knew I could handle what may come, but I feared returning too late. Alex's changes seemed to be accelerating, and I felt like something could happen while I was away. I couldn't delay my time with Eli, but I couldn't wait for Alex to change either.

Alex spoke, but her voice sounded different. "Hoooow are we supposed to know?" She said, her voice cracking.

"Listen to yourself, Alex. You can't let yourself get all worked up over this. You are already losing your voice. I promise Lyall will be alright," Elizabeth assured her.

Alex paused and closed her eyes. "No, Lyall will be fine. But... I don't think I am."

"I'm here for you." Elizabeth said, reaching her hand up.

Alex pulled her arm away. "I've been feeling things. I've been thinking things, but they are not my thoughts. I've felt urges I've never had before, inhuman things." Alex spoke quietly, holding back tears. "I don't think I have long before it happens."

Elizabeth slowly brought her hand to rest at her side. "How long have you felt this?"

"The night after Lyall flew again, I dreamt I was flying. It was amazing, but the sun set, and the dark took over. I felt new urges, saw something move, and dove for it. It was a dream, but it felt so real. I grabbed it with these talons and had to stop myself." Alex's voice broke more as she continued. "I forgot who I was. I was only focused on one thing. After I woke up, I couldn't stop feeling the same urges, like I was supposed to do these... things."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Elizabeth stepped closer to Alex. "You need to tell me these things, Alex."

"I tried to tell you. But after the eggs, I felt so disgusting, and I hated it. I feel like an animal and don't want to be reminded of it."

"You are still Alex. That over there is still Lyall. What you are isn't going to change who you are." Elizabeth grabbed Alex's arm and turned her to see her face to face. "I'm here for anything you need. I'm not here to care for an owl. I'm here to care for Alex."

The door opened as Eli came back in. He immediately saw Alex and gave a slight frown. "You alright, sis?"

Elizabeth quickly replied, "Just a little emotional right now."

Eli nodded and approached me. "You ready, little guy? We have a bit of a drive." He glanced down at his wristwatch and clicked his tongue. "I was supposed to stop out at the sanctuary, but I'll have to change those plans for tomorrow."

Alex stepped over to Eli and spoke, her voice still slightly off, "I can walk him out for you."

Eli turned to look at Elizabeth, who gave a slight but quick nod. "Yeah, if you would like, I would appreciate it."

Alex held her hand down for me to step onto. No glove covered her hand this time; instead, it was just her bare hand. I gently climbed onto her hand, careful not to grip too tightly with my talons. I could feel her hand shaking as she lifted my weight. We began to walk out to the parking area, and as we approached the blue van parked nearest us, the back hatch beeped and began to open. Eli ran ahead and began to move one of the three cages to open the door.

"Let me get that for you!" Eli said confidently as he swung the door open.

"He's going to ride in the back?" Alex questioned.

Eli looked at the cage, confused, before asking, "Where do you suggest he ride?"

"He always rides in the front seat with me," Alex said as she walked past and towards the passenger door.

Eli pressed a button, and the rear hatched slowly swung shut. He walked around to meet Alex at the side door. "Yeah... He can ride up here with me," Eli said hesitantly as he opened the door.

Alex slowly lowered me to the seat, and as I stepped onto the fabric seat, I could feel her hand shake more. Looking back at her face, I could see the light dusting of feathers on her face lift away as a few more emerged around them. It was only a few, but it was just noticeable before they came to a rest.

Alex opened her mouth to speak but hesitated, "I'll see you soon, Lyall. Don't overwork that wing, alright?" she said slowly.

I nodded before she shut the door.

I couldn't hear the conversation, but Alex was explaining something to Eli. He nodded and replied something back. He held his hand on her shoulder and continued to speak. He let go and walked around to the other side of the van. He pulled the door open and turned back to Alex and Elizabeth.

"I'll have him back soon! I bet it won't be longer than a week if his flying earlier is any sign." He waved, sat in the seat, and closed the door. He turned to me and whispered, "You know, for how many instructions Alex gave me, you would think you were a child leaving the house for the first time." Eli laughed.

He backed the van out of its spot and began to pull away from the clinic. Alex and Elizabeth waved as the van pulled away. As we turned onto the road, I could see the both of them walk in the door. It was my first time away from the two of them in a while. Almost every waking moment had been with at least one of them since I had the accident.

"You like music?" Eli asked awkwardly.

I hadn't really thought much about music. It was one of those things I had enjoyed before, but having an MP3 player when you have no hands or ears to wear headphones was funny. I shrugged at Eli, and he turned the radio on, leaving the volume set low. The radio quietly played an early rock song. I would have probably recognized it years ago, but it sounded slightly familiar to me.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Lyall. I've worked with more birds than I can count. All have their personalities, but I have never worked with a shifty before. I don't know where I need to be when it comes to working with you." Eli turned to glance at me, making sure I was listening. "I don't mean to offend if I ever do something that seems demeaning. I've just never done this before. Let me know somehow, yeah?" he said with a shrug.

I nodded, and he responded with a slight smile. I sat quietly, watching the trees and lights pass by. The sun started to set, and it grew darker outside. The soft motion of the car began to lull me to sleep, and I laid on the car seat. I remember setting my head down, and the next thing I knew, the door was open, and Eli was calling to me.

"Lyall? Do I pick you up, or are you going to make your own way in?" Eli asked nervously.

I got up, still tired from my nap, and raised a foot in a climbing motion. Eli looked confused before his eyes shot open in realization.

"Oh, you want to be carried in?" He turned and opened the back sliding door of the van and removed a black leather glove. He held his hand down and allowed me to climb onto his glove. He looked slightly confused, and I kept my eyes locked on him. I wasn't able to see anywhere else, and as we walked further from the van, I could only see less and less.

We approached a dimly lit door, and Eli fumbled with some keys. I could hear the door open, and soon after, a light clicked on. The room was a small living room with some papers strewn across the table and baskets of clothing lining the one wall. We walked further in, and I could see a small kitchenette and two doors on the corners.

"Sorry for the mess. I'm not used to needing to clean up for birds," Eli joked. Eli allowed me to step down onto the kitchen counter while he walked over to the baskets on the wall. He picked up some shorts and turned to look back at me.

"I guess I should change in my room, eh?" Eli walked to the door on the right and opened it. In the quick moment that the light was on and the door was open, I could see a queen bed and a small side table. The room looked incredibly small for a bedroom, and only about a foot of space separated the bed from the wall. The door shut, and I could hear Eli hitting something against the wall and door. When the door opened again, Eli exited, now wearing the shorts. He threw the jeans he had been wearing into the basket.

"Sorry, it's a pretty small place, but it's what works." Eli looked around the room. "I guess I could introduce ya to the birds."

Eli offered his hand to me, and I climbed up. Eli led me to the left side door, and inside was a space larger than both the living room and bedroom. With the light on, I could see a wall with four enclosures and various shelves of boxes. In two of the enclosures, there were birds perched inside. Eli sat his hand on one of the enclosures.

"This is Willow; she's a peregrine who was raised in human care. She's been living with me for the last two years. She's a little too kind to be released," Eli spoke proudly.

The falcon stared at me; the only person I could think of was Rylie. Much of the coloration resembled the feathers Rylie had covering her body. But this was a peregrine who was born as a bird. Eli placed his hand on the other cage, which held a much smaller bird.

"This is Romeo, who is another Redtail. He is a rescue, not unlike you. He's getting a similar treatment before he is possibly released. He is much younger. A fledgling who was probably lost when still trying to learn to be a bird."

I looked at the hawk in the cage, who looked shockingly similar to me. His feathers looked a little different, but I could tell it was definitely the same species as me. In a way, it felt like I was looking at myself; a hawk in a cage, looking like it wanted to be outside again.

"And here is where you'll be staying." Eli said, resting his hand on the other enclosure. It was much larger than the cage I stayed in at the clinic, with multiple perches up the side. I reluctantly entered the cage, and Eli buttoned the door shut.

Eli started to walk to the door and stopped before shutting the lights off. "Tomorrow, we have to run to the sanctuary, then we can get a start on getting you hunting again." Eli smiled as the light clicked off.

A small night light turned on automatically. The soft glow gave me just enough sight to see the outlines of the other perches. I nestled up to the side of the enclosure and closed my eyes to try and sleep.

I was startled awake by a loud call.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

My eyes flicked open, and I gave a jump as I turned to the sound source. Romeo was starting the morning off screaming. It was the first time I had heard my own kind's screech in a while, not counting my own. The room was lit by two windows in the room. Looking around the room, it was odd that Eli dedicated the largest room of his place to birds. Obviously, this room was meant to be a bedroom, but had been converted into a falconry room.

The door swung open, and Eli came in carrying a plastic bag. He started with Willow. He held a piece of red meat to the falcon, and she grabbed it from his hand. He did the same for Romeo, but gave me nothing. Instead, he let me out of the cage and onto his hand. As he walked past one of the shelves, he grabbed a black leather bag and walked me out into the living room. He placed me on the counter while he packed an ice pack and a plastic bag into the pocket of the bag.

Eli caught me looking around the room. "You and the others get the nice room. Y'all deserve the big open spaces, so why stick you in any room smaller than it needs to be. Used to use that for my bed, and the current room was my office. When I started working with birds, my bedroom became the bird's room, and my office became the bedroom." Eli laughed, "and the living room became everything else!"

Eli zipped the bag shut and draped it over his shoulder. He walked over to the table in the living space and picked up a paper. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number from the sheet.

"Hello, it's Eli. Something came up yesterday, and I didn't drop off y'all's cage I had." He paused. "Had to pick up a red from a clinic." He paused again. "Yeah, Elizabeth's. I can be over today with it."

This place he was calling must have heard from Elizabeth. Did they know I was a hybrid, and that was the reason they said no to taking me?

"Thanks again!" Eli said before hanging up. He tossed the paper down and grabbed a box from the floor. He walked outside, leaving me on the countertop. While I waited for him to come back, I looked over to the sink. I was thirsty, having not drunk since yesterday. After waiting a little while longer, Eli did not come back. I walked over to the sink and pulled the lever to start the water flow. I leaned down under the faucet and took a drink. I didn't hear Eli walk back in until I heard him speak.

"Well, that's the first I've seen from a hawk," Eli laughed.

I quickly turned the faucet off and returned to the spot I was placed on. Eli grabbed his glove and offered his hand to me again. I climbed up, and we started walking out to the van.

"You know, I think this is going to be quite an interesting thing. I've never worked with a bird who's been a human," Eli said as we walked out in the foggy air.

Looking back at the house, it was a very small structure surrounded by trees. It had an opening to the left with a wide-open field. In the yard sat a grouping of hanging bird feeders. It appeared as though they were used often, but maybe my presence kept other birds at bay.

Eli opened the door and sat me on the front passenger seat. He climbed into the driver's seat and started the car. It stuttered for a moment before the engine finally came to life. As we pulled out of the driveway, Eli put the directions into his GPS.

"We've got to stop out at the sanctuary first. I released a bird for them and borrowed their cage." He chuckled, "I was supposed to bring it back days ago, but you know... stuff came up."

I folded my legs while we drove; the constant motion on my legs grew tiring, and I gave up and laid on my belly. Eli turned on the radio and dialed it to 102.3 FM, causing music to start playing at a reasonable volume. Listening to music, I once again could vaguely remember that I had heard the songs before, but I couldn't begin to remember the lyrics or the artists. It felt new but also familiar. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sounds as we made our way down the road.

I felt the car pull off and could feel the gravel under the tires. Wherever we were going, we must have arrived. I peeked over the side of the door and out the window. The space was filled with outdoor bird enclosures, and to the far side appeared to be a large walk-in aviary. Something about the space also seemed familiar. Eli pulled the van into a parking space and put it in park. He climbed out and walked over to my door.

"Well, you may as well come in with me if you would like. Not going to be here long, but no sense in making you wait here, hawk boy," Eli said, holding his hand down.

I climbed on his hand and was given a better view of the sanctuary. I couldn't place it, but I felt nervous or possibly excited about being there. Eli opened the back hatch and pulled out a smaller black cage. We walked to the front entrance, and sitting outside the door was a sign.

"Welcome, visitors!" It read across the top. It also listed hours and information on the birds. But at the bottom of the sign, I saw a line of text that caught my attention.

"Leading the revival efforts of the Ivory-billed Woodpecker."