Soyoco Shorty: Lazy Afternoon Limericks
Another short passage from my Tales from Soyoco series. Starting Scraps, Dixie and Luke.
The three are just enjoying a lazy afternoon, until a certain possum tries to be funny...
Contains some ballbusting
As the lazy Saturday afternoon came to an end the two buddies, Scraps and Luke, decide to spend it finishing a case of beer while hanging around the bed of the possum's, Scraps, truck in the driveway of his trailer house at the Shankly Scrapyard. The two swapped stories, and jokes back in forth til a devious idea popped up in the possum's head.
“Hey, Luke…"
“Hmm?…"
“Hey, by chance, do you know what the capital of India is?"
“Uhhh….. New Dehli I believe.."
“Oh hmm…… What about…. Japan?"
“ Mmmmm……. Tokyo…"
“Right, right…… China?"
“Beijing…!"
The questions and answers start coming in more rapidly from one another.
“.. Malaysia…?"
“Singapore…!"
“Thailand?"
“Bank- OHHHH OWWWWWWW"
Luke's enthusiastic answer was cut short by the possum sending an open hand slap directly into the groin of the coonhound.
“BANGKOK! AH HAHAHAHA, OH MAN! Oh, you walked right into that one buddy!"
Scraps said to his, now folded over in pain, friend.
“Uhhhhh, y-yea you sure did get me good, uhhh goddamn…."
Luke said as he slowly regained composure.
Dixie, Scraps' sister, all of a sudden comes walking up from the front of the truck toward the back where the boys are hanging out at. Presumably she had come from her house, being just a short walk away from her brothers place, after hearing the two hanging out outside.
“Hey Y'all! What's going on?"
The hyena ask in her usual happy and chipper southern drawl, she notices Luke finally starting to recover from the quick nutshot that was delivered by the possum.
“Hey Dixie! Beer?"
Scraps asks
“Hey…….. Dixie…….umf….. damn man, you did get me good….ohhhmmf.."
Luke greets the yeen, in-between recovery breaths
“Yeah, beer me! What's up with him?"
Dixie replies to her brother, while following up with a question of her own.
“Oh! Him? Hahaha… I got'em with the ol' 'Capital of Thailand' trick, hehehe…"
Scraps proudly admits as he hands Dixie a cold can of brew from the ice chest in the bed of his truck.
“Damn, Luke…. Really? The 'Capital of Thailand' trick? Come on now…. Hehehe"
Dixie says as she gives a consoling pat on the back to coonhound as he finally begins to fully stand upright
“Yeah… silly me, thinking my best bud wouldn't sacktap me, and just before giving him his birthday present early….."
Luke lets out as the pain in his nethers begins to dissipate.
Scraps gasps in excitement
“A present?! Whadya get me ?!"
“Oh nothing… Just an all access pass to the most famous live performance in the known world…."
Scraps mind raced with the possibilities of what his coonhound buddy could have gotten his hands on
“A live performance, huh? Hmmm, like Monster Jam? Or, or, or tickets to the Scratch 21 tour that's coming to SA in a few months?!"
The grin on Luke's face grew wider and wider with the building anticipation to his big reveal
“Nope, even more famous than those…."
“Well what is it, dude!? You're killin' me here…"
Scraps said, barely containing his excitement
“A VIP, backstage pass too….. Tchaikovsky's own…….. NUTCRACKER!"
Luke exclaims proudly right before sending a quick and fast hammer fist right into the unsuspecting possum's ballbag.
Scraps lets out a quick, high pitched shriek as his jewels take the full force of the coonhound's blow, collapsing into a curled up heap on the ground clutching his battered nethers
“EEEIIIIIAIAAHH, OOHHHOHOHO-HOLY SHIIT!"
The possum writhes on the ground, mumbling and cursing like a sailor in response to the pain
Dixie, who was mid sip of her beer, does a textbook spit-take and sprays a frothy mist of light beer all over Luke before letting out a hearty belly laugh that slowly turned into a squeaky feminine giggle. The proud hound shrugged off the fine coat of sticky beer foam, standing tall at the great comeback nutshot he gave the well deserving possum.
“Hahahahaha, Holy Shit Luke you got 'em good with that one hahahaha!"
The yeen tells Luke just before giving him a quick but affectionate peck on the cheek.
Luke begins to blush, all flustered after the yeen's little show of admiration to his ballbusting effort.
“Hehehe….. Thanks, y'know 'Mess with the bull.. you get the horns!"
“More like 'You mess with the hound… You get the fist!"
Dixie exclaims before proudly rubbing it in the face of her still rolling on the ground brothers
“Hear that, lil' brother, best watch yourself when you try to mess with “Luke, Ballsmacker Extraordinaire!"
Scraps doesn't respond, being a little busy making sure he still has both testicles at the moment.