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To Ashes

Chapter 5: The Morning After

Sneak Peek

…

The two kept making small talk until Marcus needed to go to work. Asher was left alone in the apartment, the golden light form the world outside filtering in through their apartment windows as the old anime continued to prattle on from episode to episode. Asher felt the warmth of the light and the love and support of everyone around him, but it was tainted by a single thought.

I put them all through this for my sake…I'm such…such a…

Asher shook his head and decided to turn to the old adage.

“If you hate everyone, you need to eat," Asher stood up and padded to his room. “If you think everyone hates you, you need sleep," Asher snagged a clean fluffy towel, “but, if you hate yourself, you shower."

Asher went to his bathroom and sluffed off his sweater and shorts, leaving himself naked. He hung his towel on the rung and went to turn the water on. He gave a light sigh as he leaned against the wall waiting for the water to get warm. It took forever for their old pipes to pull the heat for their apartment. That's when he looked up and saw himself in the mirror.

There he was, Asher in all of his exposed shame. The little cboy with his arms crossed over his chest that had cuts and bruises, his hips scratched with scabbing wounds, his pussy bruised and blue. He looked like he got fucked by a rabid animal…or a fucking cactus. The bruises were starting to heal, turning green and various shades of red and purple. He bit his lip, his shame welling up inside of him and…

“Fuck…" Asher felt his pussy warm, his lips blush with the sight of himself. He looked like some used and abused fuck trash. Asher brought his thumb up to his mouth and bit on his nail, the black claw clicking against his teeth as he took his own image in.

Then he had an idea.

Asher popped his hip out, his other leg bending up to put his foot against the wall as he softened his eyes and looked at himself in the mirror. There she was…Ashly.

“You're pathetic, you know that?" Ashly said to himself. He felt both powerful and weak at the same time. “You don't have to let him walk all over you."

But it feels so good.

“Does it?" Ashly said back at him. The memories of the past few days flooding his mind. “He treats you terribly. You have so many people in your life that care about you. So why are you attracted to the one guy who treats you like shit?"

Because…because it's what I deserve…

“Is it? You deserve better," Ashly scoffed.

But…I want him…

“You can still demand better from him," Ashly flipped her hair. “He's just a dick. You deserve someone who makes your pussy pop and also gives a shit about you."

But…I like it…

“I…" Asher's voice shuddered as he continued to look in on himself, Ashly melting away as his confidence melted with her. “I…I really like it. I…I like being a…a dumb…" Asher swallowed hard, the words on the tip of his tongue, but did he really want to say that kind of stuff while he was in such a fragile state?

“You're not fragile," Ashly's voice echoed in his mind. “You survived. You're tougher than you look. Say what you meant to say. Admit it to yourself, and maybe we can move past this."

“I'm just…just a dumb bitch," Asher gave a soft sigh. It was so good to admit it. It felt right, he felt his legs go weak as his knees shook. “Just…just a dumb stupid bitch…who needs to be put in her place."

Asher gave a little sigh as he slipped his hand down his abdomen. His fingers running through the fur as his fingertips brushed his bruised petals. The sting of pain threw him back into that car. He was pinned underneath the massive snow leopard as he thrusted into him. He was used, brutalized by a real, fucking man.

Asher's fingers slipped into his cunt, the pain in there a reminder of how rough Fynx liked to beat his pussy.

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