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Please do not read if you are under 18! The following contains mature content not suited for general audiences. You have been warned.

Grace tries to get through to Umbre, and learns some sign language along the way.

TRIGGER WARNING! Contains: anxiety, drama, abuse (implied), sexual discussion

Grace, Umbre, etc. are characters made by me, based off of characters in the Pokémon universe owned by GameFreak and Nintendo. I do not claim rights to characters such as Glaceon, Umbreon, etc.

By PseudonymousUmbreon. If you wish to use or reference my work and/or my characters, please contact me first.

*****

Signs of Trouble

Coevolution Ch.20

Hey, I’m running a talk at a queer culture club meeting this afternoon if you wanna come «

At the very least it would be nice to have someone in the audience I know «

I can message Cassidy and see if she can come and interpret for you «

Predictably, Umbre didn’t respond right away. Grace set her phone down and let out a heavy deep breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in. She really needed to get around to learning sign language for Umbre, but right now, she had a speech to prepare for. Especially after…

Hopefully Jonah wouldn’t be there to have a panic attack this time.

Inwardly, Grace cursed herself for thinking that way. How was she supposed to be a sex therapist if she couldn’t handle clients with sex-related trauma? That was going to be a major part of her job… but also, how was she supposed to be a sex therapist who’s never had sex before?

Fucking hell, her intrusive thoughts were insistent today.

Grace looked down at the sweater she wore, decked out in the classic asexual pride colors of purple, white, gray, and black. What a clown she felt like, an asexual sexual counseling major giving a speech on a culture of people who don’t have sex. Purple wasn’t even her color.

Her phone lit up with a message. Grace’s heart skipped a beat before she realized it was from her dad.

» Good luck today, kiddo! Rooting for you!

The message was accompanied by a GIF of a chibi Beartik waving an asexual pride flag, boasting “BE PROUD!” in all-caps bubble letters. Grace couldn’t help but smile.

Thanks dad, love you «

Grace opened the fridge. Nothing. At least, nothing that she was hungry for at present. She was going to have to either cook, or go to the dining hall. She eyed the recipe book on the counter. She could cook something. She had the ingredients for it. And yet…

She didn’t want to face those memories right now. Not today.

Maybe next time, Nanay.

Swallowing her guilt, she grabbed her purse and made her way to the dining hall. The walk was quiet, almost eerily so, as if she couldn’t quite shake the thought of being followed. Probably some ghost-type messing with her.

Grace’s phone buzzed.

» Yeah sure

» I can text Kas, she answers pretty quickly

» Also hi

She looked up. Ahead of her on the sidewalk was Umbre, holding their phone with both paws and grinning at her. Grace dramatically rolled her eyes and looked back down.

You’re obnoxious «

» Maybe I won’t come to your talk then :)

The Umbreon had materialized right in front of her. «Nice to see you,» they signed, slow enough for Grace to read.

“Nice to see you too,” she said back. «Food?» she signed, pointing at the dining hall just down the walk.

Umbre nodded. «Was going there myself when I felt your ______.»

Grace didn’t recognize that sign. She copied it. «_______ what?»

«P-R-E-S-E-N-C-E.» Umbre smiled. «You’ll get it eventually.»

Grace signed it again, repeating it to herself in her head as the two of them turned to step through the dining hall’s double doors. Without professional classes, she had to get as much mileage as she could out of what Umbre taught her.

The dining hall was surprisingly unpopulated for the time of day. Grace had to wonder if she was missing some event, but shook off the feeling as quickly as it had come. Probably just a lazy day for everyone.

«What’s the T-H-E-M-E today?» Grace asked.

«That sign says Qezhen food. You’re in luck,» Umbre signed back, then showed the sign for “theme.” «You’re gonna have to tell me if they get it right.»

Grace smirked. Guess you win after all. Probably nothing like your cooking though.

Her suspicions were confirmed when, upon further inspection, the cafeteria’s idea of Qezhen food appeared to be… beef and rice, with vaguely eastern spices. Super classy, CU. Grace walked up to the counter and glanced at the older Miltank filling up a tray with piping hot curry.

“What spices did you put in there?”

The Miltank regarded her with a raised eyebrow and a frown bordering on a sneer. “Curry.”

Grace blinked. “Generally, curry is a mix of—”

“Look kid, I just work here. D’you want food or not?” The Miltank set the tray down and put her hand on a stack of plates nearby.

“Sure,” Grace muttered, silently thanking Arceus that Nanay wasn’t there to witness.

Umbre had apparently avoided the “Qezhen” food altogether, instead opting for a sandwich from the always-open deli station. In fact, they had already taken a few bites by the time Grace sat down across from them.

«What’s your talk today about, anyway?» Umbre asked.

Grace fixed them with a look. «I just sat down!»

«Sorry,» they signed in a way that in no way indicated remorse. «The question remains, though—what did I sign up for here?»

Grace took her time scooping a spoonful of curried rice and beef into her mouth. It was… passable. «A-S-E-X-U-A-L-I-T-Y,» she fingerspelled.

«Not sex, gotcha.»

«Is that how you sign A-C-E?»

Umbre nodded, then repeated «Not sex.» USL was… definitely a very blunt language. «How’s the food?»

«Oh this is shit if you want real Qezhen food. Wait—does that mean P-A-N is signed as all sex?»

Umbre giggled. «No, no—fingerspell P-A-N.»

«That’s stupid.»

«Your language is stupid.»

Fair enough, Grace thought, and went back to eating.

*****

That afternoon, Grace was tingling with exhilaration. After a few hours alone in the library, poring over her notes and flipping through her slides, she headed to the temporary community center fashioned out of the lower floor of the human sciences building and started setting up.

The projector lit up the wall behind her, decorating the surface with asexual hearts and sparkles. The words “Asexuality: A Spectrum of Nopes” in purple and gray letters sat above the audience. As per usual, Umbre sat front row to the side with their partners, chatting up a storm with Kassidy—who had amazingly been free to come last-minute. Grace made a mental note to tip her after the meeting. Val and Flynn were there too, this time sitting right behind the other three and joining in on the conversation. Aside from that, the room was moderately populated; though that may just have been the effect of a smaller meeting room after the other one, well…

Jonah wasn’t here this time, and to be completely honest, that was probably a good thing. Val and Flynn wouldn’t even talk to him after the trial, and Jess… was a vengeful person in general. Was Jess even here?

No, but her boyfriend, Nate, was. That was even stranger; the two were inseparable. The Lucario looked on toward Val and Flynn, then awkwardly sat at the other end of the row. She tacked another sticky note to her mental wall: talk to Nate.

Grace glanced at the clock. 5:00 PM. Time to start.

The Glaceon stepped up to the small podium below the screen, and the room quieted. “Hi everyone. I’m glad to see a lot of familiar faces here today. Hopefully, this talk won’t be as… explosive, as the last.”

A nervous chuckle rippled through the room. Val glanced at the singular exit at the back.

“I would like to remind everyone that the topic of this conversation will have to deal with sex. Topics may come up that are difficult for some people to discuss. There is no shame in needing to leave the room to cool down, and there are no stupid questions. Feel free to raise your hand or come talk to me afterwards if you’d like to discuss any points further.” She couldn’t help but look at Nate, who was fiddling with the zipper on his jacket.

Grace clicked to the first slide. “Question: What is asexuality? Anyone want to take a guess?”

To Grace’s complete lack of surprise, all five paws of her friends in the first two rows shot up. In addition, a fair few from the rest of the crowd came up as well, though slightly less enthusiastically. Grace grinned and called on a Cinccino who was trying their best to be seen from the middle of the crowd.

“When a person doesn’t wanna have sex?” the Cinccino squeaked.

“Well, that’s a good answer—and that brings us to myth number one:” Grace said, flipping to the next slide. “Do asexual people not want to have sex? As they say on OurTube, the answer may shock you.”

She grinned cornilly at the audience. At least that one got a couple laughs.

As Grace continued, her confidence grew; things seemed to be going relatively okay! Some people were even taking notes, and by slide seven, it seemed like her audience really was invested in what she was saying. Sure, there were a couple Pokémon slouching in the back on their phones, but this was college. As far as she was concerned, the audience was loving it.

They were fun too. “Do ace people get horny?” a Dudunsparce from the back asked, eliciting several stifled giggles from the crowd. “What—she said no stupid questions!”

Grace nodded. “I’m glad you asked, it’s a good question! Most do, some don’t. It depends on the individual. But whether or not you want to have sex has nothing to do with whether or not you get turned on.” She smiled.

“Th-thank you,” the Dudunsparce said, hiding behind a wing as the Bisharp sitting next to him elbowed him in the side and snickered.

Another Pokémon, a Gliscor on the side, held up a claw. “What makes people asexual?”

“Great question!” Grace beamed. “Unfortunately, we don’t know. Yes, some people are asexual as a result of sexual trauma, some due to mental illnesses like OCD, some due to physical disabilities—erectile dysfunction, for example—but that’s a very small piece of the puzzle. Some people just don’t want to have sex. Some people don’t want to do it in specific ways. Some people only do it with specific people. There’s no one reason we can find.”

Another paw shot up—it was Nate.

“Yes?” Grace raised an eyebrow.

Nate swallowed, visibly. “Um. So what if. An asexual person… is dating someone who’s not asexual. A-and they… didn’t know, until…”

“Until the moment they had sex?” Kassidy cut in. Umbre was looking down the aisle at Nate, then back at Flynn.

“I, well, we didn’t—I mean, if it’s not happened yet, but like… what do you do if your partner is like, expecting it from you… but you don’t… want to?”

Grace looked sideways at Umbre, who was very nervously avoiding Flynn’s gaze. She took a deep breath.

“Well, as with all things sex, it comes down to the three Cs—consent, communication, and comfort. Obviously, my first recommendation would be to be up front about asexuality if you’re engaging in a sexual relationship, but sometimes we discover things about ourselves at the worst possible times. Use safewords to indicate what you are and aren’t comfortable with in the moment, and honestly—your partner should be someone who loves you for who you are, not for sex.”

The sound of a scraping chair cut through the air as Umbre sped out of the room, followed closely by Flynn, and then the other three. Grace’s heart sank. Oh dear.

Kassidy caught her eye. «Should I…?» She gave the smallest of head shakes and cleared her throat.

“I’m gonna have to end it here guys. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions. My email is on the screen, or you can catch me around campus.” She hopped down off the podium and jogged out of the room.

Was someone… crying?

It didn’t take Grace long to follow the sound to a nearby empty room, the five of them huddled in a small circle. Umbre was actively sobbing their eyes out, signing erratically, and Levi was doing his best to interpret.

“…just been honest with you, and we could have moved—no, avoided the whole thing, and we could have been friends and—Love, I promise it’s okay, no one’s mad at you—but our whole relationship is about sex! I—oh my god, it’s Grace. Grace, help.” Levi fixed her with a frantic stare as Umbre continued. “Where’s the interpreter? I can’t keep up with all this.”

Grace shook her head. “I got it.” She walked up and joined the group, swinging around a chair to face Umbre. She tapped the desk in front of them. «Hey.»

Umbre paused and looked up. «Hey.»

«What’s up?»

Umbre shakily started signing. «I don’t feel like I’m enough, I’m never enough. I pushed Flynn away because I couldn’t h-handle them—» They jammed their thumb into a hole in their fist several times over. Grace got the hint. «And then with Levi, I never let him touch me, because it freaks me out, and I feel like I’m disappointing him, and—»

They dragged the back of a paw making a peace sign across their open palm, then pointed to themself. «I’m a failure.»

Grace put a paw on Umbre’s shoulder. «You’re not a failure, you’re just asexual. And you can do all of those things you like doing without needing to do what you’re uncomfortable with. It’s like I said in there. Your partners should love you for you, not for sex.»

«And—» Levi jumped in, «It doesn’t matter to me that we can’t do all the stuff I want. ‘Cause you’re pretty and sweet and I fell in love with you, not your cock.»

So that’s the sign for penis.

“We’re not mad at you, Umbre,” Flynn said. “Just wish you could have said something sooner so you could be happy.”

Umbre looked up at Flynn with a blank look. Grace got their attention.

«Us. Mad. You? None. Us. Hope. You. Tell us. Sooner. Why? You. Become. Happy.»

Umbre took a shaky deep breath. «Your signing is really good.»

«Really?» Grace cracked a smile. «I thought I was shit.»

Umbre shook their head. «You’re a natural. I love you all,» they signed, moving the «I love you» sign to be directed at each person. Then, to Grace, they signed, «Thank you, ______.» A closed fist with the pointer and thumb extended, above the head, twisted as it came down and settled on Umbre’s chest.

Grace’s heart fluttered. «Is that my sign name?»

«G-R-A-C-E. Grace,» they signed again, smiling.

Grace fought back tears. «Thank you, Umbre. That means a lot.»

*****

That evening, Grace sat in bed, turning over the day in her head.

Talk went wonderfully Dad! «

And I got a sign name from Umbre!!! «

She signed her name to the camera and sent the video clip to her dad, then flopped backward on the bed. After only a second, her phone buzzed.

It was from Nate.

» You’re a sex therapist, right?

» I think I’m being abused.