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It was once said, by someone with perhaps more vision than sense, “Science isn't about why, it's about why not."

It was the philosophy by which Dr. Marie Volta (and yes, she did have several doctorates, stop asking) lived her life. It kept things interesting. Why not build a device that causes volcanoes to sprout in the middle of public highways, or a mutagen that makes squirrels sprout wings and shoot lasers from their eyes?

If one was to ask her, she would have objected to the term “mad scientist". She always considered herself more of an engineer, really. Theory was for academia. She was about practical solutions. For a given value of practical, at least.

Currently, she was revising a set of schematics and muttering to herself. She did a lot of muttering. It was how she kept her thoughts in order.

“And I told him that the power cells needed to be kept at sub-zero temperatures to keep them from going critical, did I not?"

“You certainly did, Dr. Volta."

“He's the one who ordered the mech suit, and did I or did I not deliver it ahead of schedule?"

“You did, Dr. Volta."

“Even after he asked me if I could make it look more like a moose! Did I complain, even though I was well into the design phase?"

“You did not, Dr. Volta."

“No I didn't! Because I am a professional and when I tell someone that I'm going to do something, I damn well do it!"

“You do, Dr. Volta."

“And whatever happens when the deals are finalized and the work is taken out of my hands is not on me! I can't be held responsible for user error! My instructions were very clear and if Baron von Blixt couldn't be bothered to follow them, that's on him!"

“It is, Dr. Volta."

Sighing, she picked up her work in process, tore the paper into tiny shreds, and hurled them into the air, letting them rain down like confetti. Then she folded her hands and huffed.

“I work really hard on these machines, you know. It reflects badly on me when they perform poorly!"

“I know, Dr. Volta."

“If you talk to me in that tone of voice one more time, I'm going to transplant your brain into a vending machine and fill it with nothing but things you hate."

“Then who would make coffee just the way you like it, Dr. Volta?"

She sighed and accepted the steaming mug being presented to her. It was bright yellow and bore the slogan “YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE MAD TO WORK HERE BUT IT HELPS". The word don't had long since been scratched off.

The tableau in the little corner of the workshop was this. Seated in front of a large drafting table was a feline woman with a calico pattern and a petite build, standing about five foot five in her black combat boots, dressed in an extremely sooty white coat and a pair of tinted goggles. Serving her coffee was a gray-furred lupine man, very tall, very handsome, and very well-built. In his well-worn blue jeans a white button-down that was perhaps a bit more form-fitted than it needed to be, he looked like he would have fit in better at a construction site, or perhaps some kind of men's magazine photoshoot. The two of them were business partners, and they ran a very particular sort of business.

When someone with a case of chronic megalomania and more money than they knew what to do with but not a lot of practical experience needed to put their plans of conquest into motion, they called on people like Dr. Volta. Dr. Volta would readily admit that she was several kinds of maniac, but megalo- was not among them. She did not want to destroy or to conquer, she just wanted to build and design. And she was good enough at it to know her worth, and thus she charged accordingly.

Needed an army of mechanical soldiers to march on City Hall and demand the mayor's seat? She was your huckleberry. Wanted a super serum so that you could better crush your nemesis? She'd have it ready to pick up the next day and it would be whatever flavor you wanted! And if you wanted a mech suit that was, for example, shaped like a moose? No questions asked, as long as you were willing to pay accordingly.

Some people craved the spotlight, and others just took pride in their work. Good? Evil? The machine didn't care. The machine just did what you told it. Marie drew that line at building orphan-powered death rays and things of that stripe (they were so inefficient and people tended to ask awkward questions), but if you needed someone to render your worst nightmares in steel and glass and wanted only the best, you went to Dr. Volta.

She sipped her coffee and groaned.

“I don't know what you're so worked up about," said her loyal assistant. “It's not like his check didn't clear."

Marie let out a heavy sigh. “I know, but still. Reputation is everything in this business."

“I'm sure everyone knows how brilliant and terrifying you are, Dr. Volta." And with this statement, he leaned in low and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

She rolled her eyes and gave him a tired smile. “What would I do without you, Isaac?"

“Besides make your own coffee, you mean?"

Then she laughed and punched him in the gut. The act hurt her more than it did him. The man had abs like a side of beef. But of course, that wasn't the reason he was here. Every good mad scientist needs a loyal assistant, and building your own could only get you so far. Constructed assistants tended to be either sycophantic yes-men or inevitably turned against their creators, and she didn't have the time nor the inclination to deal with that. She'd scooped Isaac up right out of UMAD not long after finishing her degree in mad chemistry and he'd been a godsend. He was almost as brilliant and passionate as her and – more importantly, she would grudgingly admit – perhaps a smidgeon more sensible.

“Another day, another death ray, I suppose," said Isaac, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “I have no doubt that your next creation will bring millions to their knees."

Marie let out a happy sigh and leaned into her assistant. “You always know just what to say." Then her face curled into a smirk. “And speaking of people I'd like brought to their knees…"

Isaac gave her a steady look. Then he rolled his eyes. “The things I do for science," he said. Then he spun her around in her chair as he knelt down, tugging her leggings off in a single fluid motion and hurling them across the room, where they caught on a broken tesla coil, and before she could even brace herself, his snout was buried between her legs and his powerful lupine tongue (very high on the list of things she loved about him) was furiously licking all of her troubles away.

“Mmm, you know what they said," purred Marie, wrapping her legs around him to pull him closer. “In victory you deserve cunnilingus, and in defeat you need it."

Isaac grumbled at her smart remark, but the action only served to send little vibrations through her snatch. She pulled him as close as she could without phasing his body into hers (which was admittedly fun, but required too much prep to do spontaneously).

“That's it, Isaac, right there, right there… ooh!"

Isaac's skill was such that if he so desired it, he could draw out her pleasure for hours. But he was also smart enough to know that there was a time and a place for such a thing, and today he went straight for the kill, and within mere minutes, her yowls of ecstasy were echoing through the workshop.

Isaac straightened himself out as Marie went limp in her seat, adjusting his slightly rumpled (and slightly dampened) shirt collar.

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Dr. Volta?"

“As a matter of fact, there is," she said. “Carry me to bed. I'm not done with you yet."

Isaac gave the slightest of smiles as he scooped her up, but instead of cradling her in his arms as she had expected, she was unceremoniously tossed over his shoulder.

“You're the worst," she grumbled, giving him a half-hearted punch in the back.

“I know, Dr. Volta. That's why you love me."

“It's one of many reasons, yes." She paused for a moment, and then added, “As it happens, that segues nicely into something I've been wanting to talk about for some time."

“Mm?"

“How long have we been together, Isaac?"

He paused in mid-step for a moment, not expecting the question. “I have been your lab assistant for six years and your romantic partner for four of them. It was our anniversary last week."

“...Really? Why didn't you say something?"

“We were very busy working on the moose-mech. I could not think of a single way I would have rather spent the occasion."

It wasn't often that Marie found herself speechless, but that did it. She felt her face flushing and her heart fluttering. “You… I… gah!"

The moment was ruined somewhat as he tossed her on the bed like a sack of potatoes.

“You had something you wanted to discuss, Dr. Volta?"

“I did." She shook out her limbs and began to undress. “I could never ask for a better lab assistant or a better partner. You pick me up when I'm down and make me better at what I do best. Therefore, I believe it's time for me to undertake my greatest and most ambitious project to date!"

Isaac quirked an eyebrow at that. “Greater than the aether-powered transdimensional doomsday device?"

Marie waved her hand and scoffed. “Compared to what I have planned, the ATDD was a mere potato clock!" Then she stood up, grabbed the hem of Isaac's shirt, and pulled him down to her eye level. “You and I, Isaac, are going to create life!"

Isaac looked at her, blinking in confusion as he tried to parse her words. She could see him struggling to maintain his stoic demeanor. “Dr. Volta… are you telling me that you're ready to start a family?"

A manic grin spread across her features. “It shall be the greatest creation in the history of science itself! I shall produce a successor to my genius, and they shall shake the world to its– mmph!"

And then Isaac scooped her up and kissed her deeply.

“I love you, too," said Isaac, his eyes watering as they parted.

Marie reached out and ran a hand across his face. “There will be time enough for sentiment later, my loyal assistant. We have more pressing matters at the moment."

With that, she wriggled out of his grasp, crawled over to a nightstand, and withdrew a small bottle full of something green and luminous. She gave it a few violent shakes before chugging it down and tossing the bottle across the room.

“Dr. Volta, what was–"

“Fertility boosters, of course," said Marie, as she jumped back down onto the bed with her legs spread wide. “Do you think I would leave something as important as this in the hands of natural biology?"

Isaac was already stepping out of his clothes, and Marie admired him every step of the way. It was almost unfair, really, that such a brilliant mind was housed in such a perfect body. There was no super serum of any sort involved; it was all him, and he was proud of it. And he was all hers.

“Newton's nutsack, you're absolutely stunning. I just want you to stand there while I take in every inch of you."

“I do believe there are some inches in particular that you will be taking in shortly, Dr. Volta."

She let out a snort of laughter. “Get over here and fuck me before I reconsider the vending machine plan, you brute."

Isaac didn't need telling twice, especially since he was already hard and ready for her. There were days when Marie wasn't sure what he saw in her. He had the body of a Greek god with a manhood to match, and she had an overall look and demeanor that was described by many as “skrunkly". Isaac, of course, thought she was the sexiest woman in the world, and was as eager to show it as ever.

“What are you waiting for?" she snapped, as he loomed over him. “Get to work, or else I'll have to– yeek!"

For all that Isaac was a polite and gentle soul, he knew what Marie wanted when the clothes came off, and that was to be ridden hard and put away wet. She powered through her days on a cocktail of caffeine and stress, and this was how she got her relief. And Isaac, ever the dutiful assistant, was happy to oblige. From the second he rooted himself into her, she began to sing her delight.

“Fuuuck! If you push that thing any deeper, it's gonna get stuck there!"

“Don't threaten me with a good time, Dr. Volta."

And as they made love with an intensity that rivaled one of her homemade earthquake generators, Marie was driven into a state of absolute rapture by the thoughts of what would come next.

~*~

Marie was habitually an early riser, but a body could only take so much, and getting enthusiastically pounded by a very large wolf man for nearly four hours took its toll, and it was well past ten in the morning when she finally dragged herself out of bed, hung over from the hormonal rush and feeling weak at the knees.

She grinned, looking down at herself, particularly at her flat belly.

“Nice of you to finally join us, Dr. Volta. I was afraid I'd lost you for a moment there."

She looked up to see Isaac holding a plate of waffles. The waffles were shaped like cartoon atoms. She sighed. She had gotten the waffle iron as a white elephant gift at her last school reunion and had never planned on using it, but Isaac had other ideas, and among those ideas were radical notions like “you should consider eating some actual food today, Dr. Volta" and “two energy drinks is more than enough for today, seriously".

The waffles did smell good, as they usually did. But there were other things on her mind. More pressing things.

“Put those down for now, Isaac," said Marie. “There's something that needs doing first. To the lab!"

Isaac grumbled but didn't complain as he pulled her out of bed. “Please take a shower first, Dr. Volta. You smell like musk and chemical runoff."

“...Fine, but then to the lab."

One very quick shower later, Marie was in her lab, pouring various substances into a large flask.

“I know that mad biology was never a specialty of yours, Dr. Volta," said Isaac, as he stood a safe distance away. “But I am quite certain that even you know that it takes longer than one night to be able to tell if you've gotten pregnant.

“Maybe if you're a slacker," said Dr. Volta, grinning to herself as she added the final ingredient to the mix; a few drops of her own blood. “But I worked very hard on that fertility booster. And when I want to boost something, you had better believe that it gets boosted!"

Sure enough, the fluid began to bubble and foam almost immediately, and a moment later, the liquid turned blue. With that, she began to throw her head back and laugh. Marie was very proud of her laugh. She'd worked very hard to cultivate it. And right now, she was using it to the full effect. It would have been nice to get a dramatic thunderclap on command as well, but that wasn't quite feasible yet.

Or at least, not for indoor use.

“Yes! Yesss!" she cried, fists raised skyward. “In your face, laws of nature! For I have achieved… CONCEPTION! AHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Isaac stood stock still for a moment, patiently waiting for her to finish. As soon as she was, he scooped her up and pulled her into a tight hug.

“You're incredible," he said, kissing her on the cheek.

“I'm aware. But it's always nice to hear it from you." Smiling, she put a hand on her belly and leaned into him. “And in a few months, our little miracle of science will be right here."

“I'm sorry, did you say 'a few'?"

“Did you seriously think I was going to handicap myself for nine whole months in order to have a baby? I'm a busy woman! I've got things to do!"

“...I don't know why I expected anything less, Dr. Volta."

~*~

It was a dark and stormy night. There may have been no rest for the wicked, as the saying goes, but the unhinged and amoral were snoozing quite peacefully.

…Or at least, that would have ordinarily been the case. A dark figure crept through the halls, maneuvering around disused machinery. A quick swipe of a card disabled the death traps. Tripwires were deftly avoided. The figure's goal was well in sight now. It was just a matter of securing the prize.

The lights clicked on, and Marie was standing there, right in front of an open minifridge with a large slice of deep-fried cheesecake on a stick secured in her hands. Standing over by the switch was Isaac, his arms folded.

“You told me that you were going to try and eat healthier for the baby's sake, Dr. Volta," said Isaac. “I watched you clear out the refrigerator. I even got you to give up the location of your secondary refrigerator. But I suppose the fault is truly mine for not assuming that you would have a tertiary refrigerator."

“Come on, Isaac!" said Maria, making an exasperated gesture. She was dressed in one of Isaac's old t-shirts, which hung down over her body like a dress. And even through it, her small but unmistakable belly bump was visible. “It's bad enough that you made me quit caffeine! But making me eat vegetables every day? I may be mad, but you're crazy!"

With that, she shoved the entire slice in her mouth and defiantly chewed, all without breaking eye contact.

Isaac simply stood there, arms folded, not saying a word for the full two minutes it took her to finish and swallow.

“...Are you pleased with yourself?"

Marie slumped over and sighed. “No. I still want more. These cravings have been driving me absolutely up the wall. I was this close to sending one of my dreadbots to knock over that twenty four-hour cookie place."

“I am glad that you did not. You know that the dreadbots are terribly buggy. They're just as likely to set the place on fire as bring back something useful."

“That's part of their charm!"

Moments later, Isaac had escorted her back to the kitchen, where he'd taken the liberty of putting on a pot of tea, which Marie proceeded to sip like she had a grudge against it.

“It's bad enough that I can't have caffeine," she said. “But do you have to feed me this swill? It's so… soothing. I hate it."

“It is a common failing of mad geniuses that I have observed," said Isaac, ignoring her. “to overlook obvious side effects of their brilliant plans. Do you remember Professor Vanderblight?"

Marie smiled with fond remembrance. “Good ol' Blighty. He was my thesis advisor. Nobody could engineer a crime against nature quite like him. Last I heard, he was trying to take over Sunstone City with his giant mutant ants."

Isaac nodded. “I just recently heard from Maurice, his assistant. The plan's hit something of a snag after the colony imprinted on him as its queen. They're much more concerned with making sure he has enough food than terrorizing the city."

She let out a snort of laughter. “I'll be sure to send His Highness a fruit basket. What are you getting at?"

Isaac rolled his eyes as he poured himself a cup of tea. “You are going through an accelerated pregnancy. It only stands to reason that you're also accelerating the side effects of said pregnancy. You were so nauseous the morning after that first day that you couldn't get out of bed."

Marie heaved a heavy sigh and chugged the rest of her tea. “I should have made you carry the baby. I can probably engineer that."

“Oh, I'm sure you could, Dr. Volta. But my contract very clearly stipulates no biological experimentation, and then you would have to deal with the Henchpersons' Union."

“Ugh, never mind then. There's some forces in the universe that even I'm not mad enough to trifle with."

~*~

Laypeople often asked why mad scientists always had assistants. They weren't exactly known for getting along well with other people, nor for asking for help when they needed it, and especially not for entrusting others with proximity to their work.

The reason you never saw mad scientists without assistance was for the same reason you seldom saw birds with malformed wings: natural selection.

The purpose of a mad assistant was more than just a mere gofer. They asked the obvious questions that so often eluded a mind suffused with mad genius, pointed out design flaws when needed, and perhaps most importantly of all, cleaned up after experiments gone horribly awry, as they often did.

Every Frankensstein needed their Igor, and Marie was no exception. She liked to think of herself as a hair more sensible than the average mad, and perhaps this was true, but that did not make her any less mad. And a mad intellect combined with a roiling cocktail of pregnancy hormones was a dangerous combination. It meant that she was more prone than ever to making irrational decisions, and less inclined to ask for Isaac's input when doing so.

Which was why she was currently seated on a stool and covered in rapidly-hardening foam while Isaac kept himself busy nearby, armed with a fire extinguisher and a mop.

“Please tell me again what you were trying to achieve?" he said, as he stomped out a puff of flame that appeared to be trying to escape the lab.

“So as I'm sure you remembered, we were supposed to have a consultation with Count Incendiu about a minion production contract."

“I do recall that, yes. I believe I told you to consider rescheduling it."

“What you told me was that I shouldn't travel halfway across the world in my state," said Marie. “And I conceded that point! Teleporters aren't safe for pregnant people and a hypersonic jet wouldn't have been much better. But the Count's contract was such a good get, and I just knew that if I dropped it, then that hack Dr. Rogendogen would have scooped it right up."

“Seems reasonable. Say what you will about the man's personal hygiene, he makes a good minion."

Marie let out a dismissive snort. “We'll deal with that argument later. But I thought to myself, just because I'm in no state to travel doesn't mean we couldn't correspond! So I teleconferenced with the Count and got him to tell me the details of what he had in mind."

Isaac looked over to the large bubbling vat that had been partially melted through, the floor all around it scorched black with soot, and now marked with a powdery white residue.

“And what he had in mind were tiny homunculi that were capable of spontaneous ignition?"

Marie grinned. “He didn't specify a size for the homunculi, but I thought if I made them smaller, they would be easier to ship! I would be able to pack crates full of them and ship them right to him!"

Isaac sighed as he started to mop up the remnants of the extinguisher. “And you forgot to adjust your calculations for the size variance. Which is why I came down here to find the lab on fire."

“I had things under control!"

“You were also on fire, Dr. Volta."

“Just a little bit!"

Isaac patted her, brushing some hardened foam off of her shoulder. She let out a peevish grunt in response.

“Now do you believe me when I tell you that your judgment is perhaps going to be a bit questionable? Pregnancy does things to your brain just as much as your body, you know."

Marie narrowed her eyes at him. “And since when are you an OB-GYN?"

“I have been reading quite extensively on the topic, Dr. Volta. Please let me know the next time you wish to perform an ill-advised experiment. At least for the duration of your pregnancy."

“Hmph. So you can stop me?"

“So I can make sure that the fire extinguishers in the lab are actually up to date. You should really know better by now, Dr. Volta"

Marie huffed and groaned as she started to flail, dislodging the rest of the foam from her body. “Fine. I won't take the contract. But I'm not letting Rogendogen get it either."

Isaac considered this for a moment. “Isn't Dr. Eisendrache starting to get into the minion business? I hear they've been doing some remarkable things with clockwork these days, and they'd certainly owe you a favor."

“You have an in with Eisendrache of all people? How did you manage that?"

“I play mahjong with their assistant once a month."

And Marie laughed as she tried in vain to wipe foam and soot off of her belly. “I have the best assistant ever."

“Indeed, Dr. Volta."

~*~

Marie's pregnancy continued to progress at a pace that was, of course, quite maddening. It had been six weeks, and she looked like she was six months gone, judging from the size of her. She'd already had to cancel three appointments due to her sudden and dramatic growth spurts knocking her for a loop.

But no mad scientist worth their lab coat would ever dream of ignoring a problem in need of a solution. Of course, those problems were typically quite lofty, such as “my plans keep getting foiled by meddling investigators," or perhaps “I would like a lot of gold but the national gold repository is tightly locked", but mad scientists were not immune to mundane problems either.

In this case, the problem that Marie was trying to deal with was “I am a very small person and my partner put a very large baby into me". And she approached it the same way that she approached anything else.

“Turn up the intensity a bit! I can take it!"

Currently, she was walking (or perhaps “waddling" was the right word) on a treadmill. She was dressed in a sports bra and a pair of form-fitting athletic shorts. There were electrodes attached to her temples, her chest, her lower back, and of course her belly, and those, in turn, were attached to wires that ran into an array of complicated machinery.

“Are you sure, Dr. Volta?" said Isaac, who was monitoring a printout of the collected data.

“I don't pay you to ask questions like that!"

“That is true." And with that, he turned up a dial just a little bit, increasing the pace of the treadmill. And Marie kept up as best she could, increasing the speed of her waddle while gripping a pair of handrails for stability.

“I think I'm getting somewhere," she said, a wide grin on her face.

“That's what you said when you tried out the antigravity plates, Dr. Volta," said Isaac, looking up from the readout. “And we know how that turned out."

Marie grumbled. It had, in fact, turned out with her floating around her lab like a balloon and Isaac needing to fetch a later to get her down. “It's an iterative process!"

“Of course, Dr. Volta. And what will the next iteration be?"

Dr. Volta grinned. “Bring me back to the lab and get me the big welding torch."

Two hours later, a nightmare rendered in metal and flesh stood in the middle of the workshop. A metal armature had been constructed around her lower body, and with every step she took, there was a heavy thud and a hiss of hydraulics.

“It's perfect!" she shouted, as she stomped around the lab. “This exoskeleton supports both my back and my front perfectly, and the ultragel shock absorbers mean that my little passenger will not feel the slightest jostle! After all, since I am going through the arduous task of carrying her, why not then should I have something to carry me!"

Isaac regarded her as she ran circles around him, his eyes following her progress.

“Did you make that from the prototype of the transforming power suit that you built for Crusher Cagliostro?"

“Well, she certainly wasn't using it!" said Marie. “It's not my fault that her nemesis banished her to the negaverse! If she ever makes her way out, I'll be happy to give her a refund, but until then, I shall be–"

She did not get a chance to finish saying what she would be as Isaac lobbed a wadded up ball of paper at her. The exoskeleton's built-in defense grid kicked in immediately, with a hiss of steam, a cacophony of shifting metal, and a stream of profanities from Marie. When the steam cleared, she was left standing there in a ball of steel plates with only her face visible, perfectly safe and perfectly immobile.

“Don't say a word," she hissed, glaring daggers at Isaac.

“I wouldn't dream of it, Dr. Volta. Can you reach the manual override?"

“...I had to remove it to make room for my belly."

The two of them stared at each-other in silence for a moment. Marie sighed.

“Fine. I'll consider officially going on maternity leave. Are you happy now?"

“I'm positively ecstatic, Dr. Volta. Will that be all?"

“Shut up and go get the crowbar."

“As you wish, Dr. Volta."

~*~

And so, for the first time since she established herself as a player in the game of mad science, Marie was officially on vacation. But that brought with it a new set of problems, chiefly that she did not know what to do with herself. Her life was her work and she liked it that way. She was never truly content unless she was creating something. Boredom was poison to her. Her mind rebelled at it. The last time she'd taken a day off was when she was laid low by a nasty case of the flu, and even then, Isaac had come up to her bedroom that evening and found that she'd somehow managed to turn her humidifier into a freeze ray.

But that had been then. This was now. Her accelerated pregnancy was ramping up. She was huge and heavy, and if her calculations were correct, she had another month to go. Relaxation was having more and more appeal. Which was how she and Isaac had ended up having an impromptu poolside date.

Of course, even in relaxation, she had to take things one step further. Which was why, while Isaac did laps, she was floating in a cylindrical glass tube with a mask set over her face. The fluid she was immersed in was slightly more viscous than water, allowing her to comfortably float in place, meaning that she was blissfully free of the extra weight that her pregnancy had bestowed upon her, and it was infused with a proprietary blend of nutrients, perfectly tailored to relieve her persistent aches and keep her fur soft and her skin supple and pliable.

Suspended in front of her was a tablet in a waterproof case. The only movements that Marie made were a gesture with two fingers that prompted it to turn the page.

“You look absolutely ridiculous, you know," said Isaac, who was now perched on the edge of the pool looking up at her.

“You're one to talk," she said, her voice emanating from a speaker in the base of the tube. “I'm not the one wearing a hot pink banana hammock."

“Is it a crime to accentuate my best features?"

“It ought to be, the way you do it." Marie, for her part, was completely nude. She didn't want anything getting in the way of maximum absorption, and modesty was an ailment of lesser minds. “Anyway, I'll relax my way and you relax your way! You asked me to come outside and I'm outside, aren't I?"

“Strictly speaking, that is true." Isaac dove back down for a moment before popping back up like a breaching whale, droplets of water shining on his sleek fur as he emerged, and Marie made absolutely no effort to hide the fact that she was ogling him.

“You know, if we had gone to the same high school, I would have loathed you. Nobody who looks as good as you do has any business being a genius as well."

“Then it is most fortunate that we did not do so, Dr. Volta. I would hate to be deprived of this moment."

She gave a short bark of laughter, causing bubbles to erupt from the edges of her mask. “I suppose I can't argue too much with a change of scenery every now and then. You do need a good airing out every once in a while."

“Seeing the sun a bit more often wouldn't kill you either, you know."

“You don't know that." She smiled as he gave her tube a firm pat. “I suppose that is one of the downsides of this side of things. If I had gone into more active villainy, it would get me out of the lab more often. You'd be able to travel more. We'd be able to see exotic locations. Maybe get a nice lair in a hollowed-out volcano."

“You would have hated a volcano lair, Dr. Volta. I interned in one of those. It's so dry that my fur would frizz up every single date."

She sighed, sinking a bit lower into the tube as she did so. “I suppose when you're standing at a pivotal moment in your life and looking back, one cannot help but get a bit pensive."

“Mood swings are not uncommon in this stage of a pregnancy. I would not worry too much about it. And besides…"

He turned and pressed his nose up against the tube.

“There is not a single place I would rather be than exactly where I am, Dr. Volta."

Marie scoffed and rolled her eyes. “How did a gigantic marshmallow like you get into this line of work, anyway?"

“I like to work with my hands and I have an extremely malleable moral code."

“Add that to the list of things I love about you. Help me out of this thing, I need to go build a weapon or something before I start crying."

~*~

Marie was as ready for the arrival of her child as she could have possibly been. She was in the process of making sure that every commitment that she might have had for the next six months was either canceled or resolved. All of the labs had been completely childproofed. And Isaac had painstakingly converted Test Chamber C into a nursery, fully stocked and lovingly furnished with furniture he'd constructed himself, which meant that it was both aesthetically pleasing and functionally indestructible. (“If your portable ion cannon can't make a dent in this crib, then a carelessly-thrown toy has no chance.")

All that there was left to do now was wait.

Marie hated waiting. She was in the home stretch of her pregnancy now, and stretch was most definitely the right word of it.

“Be still, you cretin! Will you not allow me a moment's respite?"

As she tried and failed to get comfortable in bed, her unborn child went through the latest stage of the improvised gymnastic routine it had begun earlier in the week and not stopped since. From the way that the taut surface of her domed belly warped and shifted, one would be forgiven for thinking that she had been infested with some manner of alien parasite. Again.

The baby's response was, if anything, to kick her even more violently. She snarled and gave the offending bump a firm poke.

“It's bad enough that you've inherited your father's size," she said. “But couldn't you have gotten his temperament as well? But nooo, you had to take after me in that way. I was a stubborn little so and so, too. I was a week overdue, you know. Mother always told me that it was because I could sense that she was scheduled to give a talk at the UMAD alumni dinner that week. She had to be stopped from trying to teleport me out of her."

She groaned as she felt yet another kick.

“Don't think I won't try it! I'm far more spiteful than she could ever dream of being!"

“Please refrain from threatening our unborn child, Dr. Volta."

Marie folded her arms and huffed as Isaac made his entrance. “They know what they did. How did it go?"

“Quite well. Dr. Dunkelbaum said that he would be more than happy to take over supplying the Legion of Lunacy for the next year. He also extended his congratulations and sent us a new Instant Pot."

“How sweet of him. Did you–"

“I have already taken the liberty of disarming the bomb that was attached to it, yes."

“You are truly the world's best assistant, Isaac."

“That is what it says on my coffee mug, Dr. Volta."

She sighed and sank more deeply into her nest of cushions. “I hate feeling like such a useless lump of protoplasm. I don't have any work to do, I get tired too fast to do any serious tinkering, somebody won't let me near any volatile chemicals, I feel hot and cold at the same time, and to top it all off, my hormones are going crazier than ever. If I wasn't already mad, then this pregnancy would be the last straw that drove me to it!"

Then she pulled a pillow over her face and proceeded to scream into it. When she was done, Isaac started a slow clap.

“That was an excellent rant, Dr. Volta. Definitely in the top twenty. The last time I saw that deranged gleam in your eye was when Dr. Rogendogen sniped you on the DestructoCorp contract."

Marie let out a noise that was somewhere between a sigh and a groan. “Isaac, shut the hell up and come rub my belly."

“As you wish, Dr. Volta."

Feeling Isaac's hands on her body never failed to improve her mood. For all that he was strong enough to haul lab equipment around without breaking a sweat, he could be incredibly gentle when the occasion called for it, as it did now, and she let out a deep, satisfied purr.

“You know, no amount of begging or threatening or cajoling ever gets my rowdy little passenger to calm down," she said, eyes half-lidded. “But when you touch me, they relax instantaneously."

“No doubt they will be just as mad as you," said Isaac, increasing the pressure just a little. “They will surely be disassembling and reconfiguring their playthings into implements of destruction before they are out of diapers."

A dreamy look crossed Marie's features. “When I was a little, I implanted a positronic brain into my favorite plushie, Mr. Schmoopie. He could bring me snacks and attack my enemies on command. Then, on my eighth birthday, he became self-aware and tried to overthrow me."

“I remember, Dr. Volta," said Isaac. “You were so proud. I believe he's pursuing a business degree presently, yes?"

“And he never writes, the little ingrate." She let her eyes open up and put her hand on Isaac's. “I can't wait to see what crimes against nature and logic our little one will commit."

Then Isaac leaned down and planted a kiss on the tip of Marie's belly. “Under your guidance, they will no doubt be a terror the likes of which the world has ever known."

“And under yours, they might just make it to adolescence with all their extremities intact."

Isaac looked up and flashed Marie a smile before continuing to shower her belly with kisses, letting his hands wander across and over her. Marie felt herself start to shiver, and it had nothing to do with the temperature.

“Isaac, if you keep that up, I cannot be held responsible for my actions."

“Since when have you ever been?" His kisses started to trail downward now, his head slowly disappearing beneath the curvature of her body.

“Hah! I suppose you've got me there. Now, what do you suppose you're doing down there, hmm?"

“Whatever it is you want, of course."

“Oh, really? And what if what I want is for you to pin me against the wall and rail me until I forget how to do calculus?"

“That would require you to get out of bed, Dr. Volta."

“Well, drat."

“But if I may offer an alternative?"

Moments later, both of them had discarded what little clothing they had still been wearing, and Isaac was flat on his back with Marie sitting on his lap, his manhood completely buried inside of her while she rhythmically rocked back and forth.

“You… mph… sure I'm not too heavy for you?"

“Heh… as if you would stop if I said yes?"

“You know me… so well!"

She picked up her pace, gyrating with a bit more intensity. It was incredible how much every bodily sensation seemed to be intensified as her pregnancy became more advanced, and while that certainly had some downsides, like every article of clothing she owned chafing her, it meant that the sex was incredible. Part of her wished she hadn't chosen to accelerate it. This feeling deserved to be prolonged. Surely there could be a way, some kind of chemical concoction that would allow her to remain pregnant indefinitely so that she might–

She was snapped out of her theoretical reverie as Isaac reached forward and put his hands on either side of her belly, rubbing in time with her movements, and she was so overwhelmed with sensation that she could think of nothing else.

Marie rode out her climax as long as she could, and when she was finally spent, she let herself collapse atop Isaac, laying her head on his chest.

“Tesla's taint," she purred, nuzzling into his fluffy chest. “You always know just what I need when I'm thinking too much."

Isaac smiled and ran a hand down her back. “It was either this or pull the bimbofication ray out of storage, and I did not wish to go into the basement."

She rolled her eyes and smacked him lightly, and then the two said no more until she drifted off into a wonderful sleep.

~*~

Marie went into labor exactly four days late, and it felt like four of the longest days of her life. No amount of long showers, warm tea, and intense foot rubs made her feel any less uncomfortable in her skin. Her cries of “just cut the little brat out of me already" had fallen on deaf ears. She had even resorted to some decidedly unscientific means to speed things along, which led to Isaac catching her eating pickled jalapenos straight out of the jar one afternoon.

“If this goes on much longer, Dr. Volta, then you should really consider going to the hospital."

“The only quack doctor who I'm going to let experiment on my body is me, thank you very much." And that had been the end of that.

Time after time, she thought it was finally the big day, only for it to turn out to be false alarm after false alarm. It had been particularly embarrassing one morning when she felt her stomach cramp up and declared that it was definitely time now, shortly before letting out a belch of biblical proportions.

If Isaac commented further, then she would have seriously considered making good on her threat to use him as a guinea pig. But he knew better.

The actual start of things, all things considered, was positively mundane.

It was a rainy afternoon. Marie was perched precariously on a yoga ball, steadily bouncing while she watched daytime television.

“...And on a lighter note," said the cougar woman in a sharp pantsuit on the TV. “Here is today's Madwatch! Hephaestus Jones, CEO of the GigaCharge Conglomerate, made an attempt to gain control of the city's power grid with an army of mechanical dinosaurs. His attempts were thwarted by the efforts of the Super-Science Squad, who were able to shut down the dino-bots quite readily because, according to our sources, their override codes were still set to the default. The robots, believed to be the work of renowned engineer Blake Rogendogen–"

Marie let out a mad cackle as she continued to bounce. “Renowned, my ass! Eat it, Blake! Ahahahah! Ahahahawhoa!"

Her arms and legs flailed as a sharp cramp threw her off balance, and the ball suddenly started to roll. She tried her best to steady herself, and fortunately managed to stay upright until Isaac bolted over to steady her.

“You really need to be more careful, Dr. Volta," said Isaac, pulling her upright. “Are you well?"

“Yeah, yeah," she said, letting out a breath. “I knew this ball was a mistake. How the hell is this supposed to–"

She paused, as if suddenly becoming aware of something, then reached down between her legs. When she brought her fingers back, they were wet. A closer examination revealed that the pajama bottoms she was wearing were completely soaked through.

Despite the lingering pain, she grinned ear to ear. “Isaac. Is everything ready for me?"

“It has been set up to your specifications, Dr. Volta."

“Excellent! Then prepare… the slab."

~*~

“The slab" in question resembled nothing so much as an antique medical chair, upholstered in black leather and fitted with adjustable armrests and stirrups. With Isaac's help, Marie hobbled over it and strapped herself in.

Her labor was progressing quickly, as she had expected. But much like the pregnancy itself, her labor being accelerated meant that she was experiencing all of its effects at once, and every so often, she would grit her teeth and let out a throaty groan.

“How is the pain, Dr. Volta?" said Isaac, as he adjusted the chair for maximum comfort."

“Exquisite," she said, through an expression halfway between a grin and a grimace. “This little monster is threatening to bore her way out of me if I don't get on with it."

Isaac nodded. “Shall I prepare the serum, then?"

She gave an emphatic nod. Isaac procured an ampoule of something bright red and faintly luminous, and with Marie's prompting, swabbed her with alcohol and administered the substance. She felt the effects almost immediately.

“I know that you have been formulating this concoction all week," said Isaac, giving the empty tube a dubious glance. “Are you going to tell me what it does now? Is it some kind of experimental painkiller?"

Marie let out a bark of laughter. “What do you take me for? I don't want to kill this pain. I want to feel every minute of my child's passage. This serum is going to kick my contractions into overdrive, and when it starts working, all that pain is going to take a nice detour through my pleasure sensors." The look on her face was positively gleeful. “This is going to be phenomenal."

“Never change, Dr. Volta."

“Not if you got on your knees and begged! Now we just need to– gnh!"

She winced suddenly as her belly visibly lurched, the tight dome growing even tighter as it contracted in on itself.

“Oh, fuck," she hissed. “Here we go! Give me your hand now! NnnnGHAAAAAAHH–"

Marie let out a yowl of ecstatic agony, or perhaps agonized ecstasy, as her brain was flooded with hormones and chemicals of every type imaginable and a few that only a truly mad mind could produce. She could have stayed in this place for hours, if not for the fact that one bodily sensation rang out more than any other, and that was the urge to push.

She did not need much prompting to give in to it. Hiking her legs up into the stirrups, she gripped Isaac's hand as hard as she could as she began to bore down. The results were immediate and intense, as Marie felt her body open up and stretch from her baby's rapid passage. The pain, as she had mentioned, was exquisite, but so was the pleasure. She could feel her loins ablaze as her muscles spasmed, tensing and squeezing as her body worked overtime to give birth.

“I can see the head, Dr. Volta," said Isaac, and even through the haze of sensory overload, she could hear the uncharacteristic crack in his voice. “They've got your ears and my coloration."

“Don't just stand there like a mindless peon!" she snarled. “Get down there and catch before my vagina launches her across the room!"

She bore down once again, and she could feel all of it, every little sensation as the baby's enormous head and shoulders worked their way out of her body, and she let out a single sustained scream as she pushed and pushed, unwilling and unable to slow down in the slightest, until–

Where there had been mania, there was suddenly calm. Stormy seas became calm waters. And as a soft, needful wail filled the air, Marie's roiling mind was overtaken by a moment of perfect and serene clarity.

She looked down at Isaac, his eyes soft and watery as he clutched a squirming gray kitten in his hands.

“Marie… we have a daughter," he said, voice wavering, as he passed the bundle over to her. As soon as Marie accepted her, she calmed and opened her eyes, and deep in the scientist's heart, something began to swell. She took a deep breath in, and–

“She's alive! SHE'S ALIIIIIVE! AHAHAHAHAH! MY GREATEST CREATION LIVES! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!"

There was a great peal of thunder outside. The baby began to fuss for a moment before starting to cry out again. Although, if you listened to it a certain way, it almost sounded like she was laughing.

“She's absolutely perfect, Dr. Volta," said Isaac, who appeared to have regained his usual composure, aside from some slight redness in his eyes if you knew to look.

“I could not ask for a more worthy successor," said Marie, clutching her daughter to her breast. “I shudder to imagine the havoc we shall wreak together."

Isaac leaned in and kissed Marie on the forehead. “The world will grovel at her feet someday, I'm sure."

“Indeed it shall. But in the meantime, I believe we could both use some rest. Go and make our bed, Isaac."

“Of course, Dr. Volta."

“And then hurry back and get ready to dispose of the placenta."

“Whatever you say, Dr. Volta."