The Storm Wolf: Gathering Clouds - chapter 5 Strength - 5.3
Imported from SF2 with no description.
"“In our class, we also started with Snow. I heard that’s usually the case,” Kotetsu senpai said, picking up a small piece of rice roll wrapped in seaweed. “Wouldn’t freeze up is enough; Academy don’t ask to risk ourself—the key is the determination to counterbalance.” The Altai Wapiti tilted his head up, as if recalling something. “First kill occurred at the end of the term. Master Field showed how to dig out the exotic matter bare-handed. A bunch of cadets threw up on the spot, making the lecture hall smell even worse.”
“So, what’s your scene, senpai?” I scraped the last of the cheese sauce with my remaining fries, not wanting to waste any. “What kind of Phantasm did you encounter?”
“Pretty ordinary, really,” Kotetsu senpai replied, finishing his rice roll. “No memorable qualities, didn’t even care to talk.” He chuckled, placing his chopsticks back on the tray. “Other people’s Phantasms were either completely insane or went on endless monologues. Mine was the dullest.”
“I wouldn’t mind encountering a quiet one,” I said, wiping the grease from my hands with a napkin before starting to clean my utensils—a habit you only pick up when you have to wash dishes yourself. “Talking to an alternate self is intriguing, sure, but I’m starting to think that bit of intrigue isn’t worth the needless trouble it brings.”
“Maybe only someone at your level has to worry about that—holding off four top-ten psychics at once,” Kotetsu senpai teased, and I rolled my eyes in response.
“I’m not the one who did this.” I leaned back in my chair, resigned to a weariness I couldn’t shake. I suddenly understood why the master was so insistent on emphasizing the difference between ourselves and the Phantasms.
“Anyway, I’ve got two tough exams to prepare for, so I’ll head back first.” The Altai Wapiti stood up, and after a quick farewell, he took his tray to the disposal area and left the cafeteria.
I didn’t feel like diving straight back into chores and training, so I just remained slouched in my seat.
“I thought I told you, ‘Contact me when the situation allows,’” Hamp senpai said as he sat down across from me, not looking particularly thrilled. “I even emphasized ‘as soon as possible.’”
I was pretty sure he’d masked his presence somehow, as I hadn’t sensed the Border Collie approaching at all.
“Midterms are a bit... intense,” I tried to explain, though I couldn’t help lowering my gaze. “Besides, you also said, ‘Stick to your usual schedule.’”
“Yeah, and I can’t figure out why I said that.” Hamp senpai growled under his breath, placing both hands on the table. “‘The Fool’ is currently split between two opposing views: one side wants to leave you alone, and the other is pushing to actively assist you.”
“Uh…” was all I could manage in response before Hamp senpai raised his right index finger to cut me off.
“But thanks to that perfectly rational decision of yours just now, the most popular choices are now ‘leave you alone’ or ‘eliminate.’” The Border Collie tapped the table with his nail, clearly irritated.
“I didn’t even do anything!” In the middle of all these inexplicable situations, being accused without cause left me clueless about how to defend myself.
“The beloved of Rationalism, ‘the cycle is complete.’” Hamp senpai touched his right hand to his brow and then to his heart. “That’s probably the most dangerous thing a Phantasm could possibly say.”
“I thought we were supposed to ‘minimize the impact of their attempts to influence us.’” I tried to keep my tone from sounding too bitter, though I clearly wasn’t thrilled about always having to bear responsibility for things beyond my control.
“Do you realize how complicated this has become?” Hamp senpai spread his hands, slumping back in his chair.
“Uh…” I supposed I didn’t need to point out the irony here. “No, I don’t.”
The Border Collie didn’t respond immediately; he just stared at me in silence, making me worry I might have reacted too strongly.
“I’m now forbidden from disclosing further information to you, to avoid putting other members in danger. The Fool's chance to provide assistance has passed.” His gaze drifted momentarily but soon refocused on me. “Had you contacted me sooner, I could have at least explained the situation. But you just had to…” He waved his hand in the air, speeding up his words. “I know you’re a young wolf driven by instincts, but don’t forget—you’re also a force that’s shattered the balance.”
I barely opened my mouth to respond when he pointed at me with a sharp gesture, effectively silencing me.
“No complaints.” The Border Collie pressed his fingers to his temples. “Every time Kotetsu returns to the dorm, I can tell exactly what happened from his scent—everything.” Hamp senpai emphasized, and I felt my ears start to burn. “So, you’re not allowed to complain to me.”
He straightened, resting his elbows on the table and clasping his fingers.
“Either way, what’s done is done, and saying more is pointless.” Hamp senpai looked directly at me, his brown eyes carrying a mix of complex emotions. “You can’t just…” He gestured toward me nonchalantly. “...keep doing this. There are forces out there far bigger than you, than all of us, and as I’ve said before, not taking a stand isn’t a luxury you can afford.”
“I don’t want to stay in the dark either, but everyone loves speaking in riddles—what am I supposed to do?” The frustration and helplessness spilled from my throat. Even I knew I sounded petty and juvenile, but it just wasn’t… fair. “Besides, what if I have zero desire to get tangled up with these ‘forces far bigger than me’?”
“As I said before, someone will force you if you don’t.” Hamp senpai rose, walking around to pat my shoulder. “I’m sorry, but the strong should be self-aware. If you don’t want to be a player, you’ll end up as a pawn.”
As the Border Collie left the cafeteria, he once again masked his presence.
I didn’t notice any glances or quiet judgments from others, yet I was sharply reminded of that feeling of knowing I was different.
Loneliness—the unique chill that comes from being surrounded by solitude. The cafeteria suddenly felt vastly larger, a hollow and distant space where even sound and light seemed warped by some Doppler-like effect.
It felt all too much like home.