Chapter 7: Abu, This is No Time to Panic! Start Panicking! -Aladdin

Jason headed straight to the student dorms and up to his room. He shoved his door open and it crashed loudly against the wall. Bryan wasn't in the dorm room, but the rabbit was the last thing currently on the wolf's mind.

Jason slammed the door behind him and stripped down to his boxers letting his dirty uniform fall to the floor. He felt too hot, too constricted, like he couldn't get enough air. Then Jason sat down on top of his bed. The wolf drew his knees up to his chest and slowly rocked himself back and forth as he struggled to get his breathing under control.

Jason was feeling so many different feelings he didn't know where to start. The dread of him needing to get his grades up. The anxiety of not knowing what any of his classes were trying to teach him. The insecurity about his scholarship. The shame of having to tell his mother he was a failure. The disgust with himself for letting his team down. The embarrassment of being yelled at in front of everyone. It was too much, everything was too much.

Jason couldn't swallow. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't feel this much. He couldn't.

The wolf's fingers and toes began to tingle and go numb. That numbness slowly traveled up his arms and legs as the wolf gasped for air. Jason couldn't stop the numbness as it spread, he couldn't slow it down. It kept consuming him until the feeling reached the center of his chest and then the wolf couldn't feel anything at all.

That's how Bryan found Jason when the rabbit slowly opened the door and stepped inside their dorm room. The wolf was sitting in the dark, on his bed in his boxers. His arms were wrapped around his knees which were pressed up tight against the wolf's chest.

“Hey," Bryan said softly. As the rabbit closed the door, it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim light that came in through their window's blinds. Bryan walked over to his own bed and sat down.

“You doing alright there big guy?" Bryan continued.

Jason didn't respond.

Bryan bit his lip as he looked over at Jason. That's when the rabbit began to notice a few things. First, Bryan's ears picked up a barely audible whisper. Jason was chanting something under his breath. The rabbit strained his hearing to pick out the words.

“I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay," Jason murmured on repeat like a quiet mantra.

Second, the wolf was slowly rocking himself back and forth. As Bryan's eyes adjusted, he could make out the way the Jason trembled as the wolf took in and let out small, rapid, and shallow breaths.

Bryan's ears shot up in surprise, as his face took on a look of concern. The rabbit stood up and quickly walked over toward Jason, sitting down next to him on his bed. The wolf made no motion to stop him and didn't even acknowledge his presence.

This isn't good, Bryan thought.

“Hey, Jason?" Bryan said.

Still nothing.

“Hey Jason, are you alright? You're kinda freaking me out?" Bryan tried again.

A tremor ran through the wolf's body as he shook even more violently.

Bryan tentatively reached a paw out towards the wolf's bare shoulder but paused. Bryan was unsure of what he should do. Up close the rabbit could hear the wolf's rapid panting.

Bryan placed his paw on Jason's shoulder as the wolf's body continued to shake. Jason's body was so hot, it felt like it was on fire. Bryan could feel the wolf's heart beating abnormally fast and hard. It felt like one continuous rolling drum solo. The rabbit quickly yanked his paw back.

“I'm gonna," Bryan paused uncertain of what he should do," I'm gonna- go get the dorm mother okay! I'll be right back."

Bryan went to stand but stopped when he heard Jason in a soft shaky voice say," No, please, stay- stay with me." The wolf's words were broken up between his gasps for air.

Bryan hesitated, his own heart beating rapidly in his chest as his ears twitched nervously. The rabbit looked around the room like the answer might be hidden somewhere around him. What should he do? He didn't know what to do!

Another massive spasm rippled through the wolf's muscles, looking almost painful as Jason's breathing became strained.

Bryan took a deep breath and crawled onto the wolf's bed in front of Jason on his knees. The rabbit bit his lip as he looked over the wolf's spasming body. Then Bryan leaned forward and ducked his head. The rabbit pushed his way between Jason's knees and slid under the wolf's arms, straddling Jason's legs.

Jason did nothing to resist as Bryan gently but forcefully positioned himself on top of the wolf's lap. Then Bryan hugged Jason. Bryan rested his head in the crook of Jason's neck, wrapped his arms around the wolf's chest, and squeezed.

Bryan had never been this close to Jason before. The wolf's fur was radiating an intense heat and Jason smelled strongly of sweat and musk. Bryan could definitely tell the wolf hadn't showered after his game. But that didn't matter to Bryan right then and there. Not with how worried Bryan felt about Jason's current state of being.

From where the rabbit's head rested on Jason's shoulder, Bryan could clearly hear the wolf's thunderous heartbeat. It was so loud, Bryan had never heard anything beat so loudly or so fast. The rabbit felt another wave of muscle spasms rip their way through the wolf's body. Jason let out a strangled whine and Bryan gripped Jason even tighter.

“You're okay," Bryan whispered as Jason's whine turned into a soft whimper.

Bryan wasn't sure if what he was doing was right, or if he was helping, or if he was making things worse. But he had to do something, and this was the only thing he could think of.

The rabbit flinched when he felt Jason's arms wrap around him. But Jason's strong toned arms didn't try to throw him off. Instead, the wolf held onto Bryan like a drowning man clinging to a life preserver. The rabbit quickly relaxed as the wolf's muzzle came to rest on top of Bryan's head. The wolf took in his first deep ragged breath since Bryan had walked into their dorm room. Jason shuddered once again as the rabbit's scent filled his nose.

Bryan squeezed Jason as hard as he could, knowing full well that his diminutive strength wouldn't hurt the wolf. Jason hugged Bryan back, his embrace strong and firm but also gentle. The wolf didn't squeeze Bryan too tightly but his grip was firm enough to where Bryan knew he couldn't escape if he tried to. That wasn't a problem for the rabbit, Bryan wasn't going anywhere.

"That's it, just breathe… breathe with me," Bryan whispered, feeling Jason's trembling slowly begin to subside. The contrast between their frames was stark. Up this close, Jason's powerful muscles felt huge compared to Bryan's smaller form. The rabbit tried not to think about it.

Instead, Bryan focused on his own breathing. The rabbit took slow and deliberate breaths in and out, providing a steady rhythm for Jason to follow. The wolf's own rapid breathing began to gradually slow until they both breathed in and out at the same time. Their bodies locked in an embrace, rising and falling together in unison.

They stayed like that for a long while as the spasms that ran through Jason's body grew weaker and weaker. Bryan was relieved when he could finally start counting the distinctive beats of the wolf's heart again. It was no longer racing out of control. Then the rabbit felt something wet drip onto the top of his head.

Bryan felt it again and again but he didn't look up. He didn't need to. Bryan could hear everything the wolf was doing. Bryan could feel how the wolf's body was reacting through every muscle that pressed against him. Jason was crying, the tension in the wolf finally breaking through whatever barrier Jason had erected.

“You're okay," Bryan repeated, still whispering," I got you and I'm not ever letting you go."

Jason didn't say anything in response, he just wrapped his arms around the rabbit even tighter.

Bryan was unsure of how long the two of them stayed like that. Five minutes? Fifteen minutes? Half an hour? It could have been longer. Bryan held on to Jason so tightly and for so long that his arms ached.

It was only when Jason finally lifted his chin from off the top of Bryan's head and whispered the words," Thank you," that Bryan finally relax his grip.

The rabbit slowly lifted his head and gazed up into Jason's moist and bloodshot eyes. Bryan hadn't realized that they weren't just brown. Up this close, they were actually a dark omber with streaks of golden yellow that radiated from the center pupils. Jason's eyes looked tired but also warm and kind.

Both of their noses were only inches apart. Bryan could feel Jason's warm breath on his face every time the wolf exhaled.

“You okay?" Bryan asked softly, his paws still holding onto the wolf's sides.

Jason nodded slowly.

"yeah. I think so." Jason said in a horse whisper.

The wolf paused and his eyes glanced from Bryan's eyes to further down where their bodies met before quickly looking away.

“Thank you, Bryan," Jason said again, his ears and cheeks still flushed red.

Bryan noticed the wolf's reactions and his cheeks and ears suddenly felt red hot as well. The rabbit's mind began to take in his situation, no longer in panic mode. Bryan quickly became hyper-aware of Jason's presence all around the rabbit's body.

Jason's musky scent now saturated the rabbit's fur. The wolf's muscled arms were still loosely holding onto him. The sweat-damp fur underneath the rabbit's paws, now merely warm, covered the well-defined muscles of the wolf's sides. Muscles that moved up and down with Jason's steady breathing. And underneath him, nestled between his buttcheeks, softly nudging his tail, Bryan felt something firm. Something that pulsed ever so slightly.

Bryan's breath hitched in his chest as both of their eyes met. Bryan felt another pulse and Jason quickly glanced away again.

Bryan cleared his throat and quickly, but gently scooted off of Jason's lap. They both felt the wolf's manhood drag against the bottom of Brian's pants, but neither of them said a word.

Jason let Bryan get off of him and then quickly grabbed his blanket. The wolf threw it over his lap as Bryan readjusted himself next to Jason. Both of them still sat on Jason's bed. Both of them knew the other knew. Both of them pretended not to notice the wolf's awkward blanket placement.

They looked at each other, each uncertain of what they should say.

“Do you, um, want to talk about it?" Bryan finally said, breaking the silence.

Jason glanced over at the rabbit and cringed. “I don't know, maybe. It's just, it's just so hard right now."

"Hey, it's okay," Bryan said softly, recognizing the signs of stress still evident in Jason's posture. "It's just a physical response to heightened emotions. It happens, especially after panic attacks. Your body is still…"

Jason looked back over at Bryan with a pleading look as Bryan trailed off.

"Not what I meant Bryan," Jason said, clearly unamused.

“Right," Bryan replied as both of them looked awkwardly around the room at anything but each other.

Jason groaned and let his head fall back, hitting it against the wall behind him.

“Coach really let me have it after the game."

Bryan hesitated a moment before replying, uncertain of how he should respond before settling on, “What, why? You didn't do anything wrong."

Jason glanced back over at the rabbit expecting Bryan to be making fun of him but paused when he saw Bryan's genuine expression.

The wolf let out a weary sigh, "I dropped the ball in the fourth quarter and cost us the game."

Bryan quickly sat up on his knees and scooted closer to Jason.

“That's not true! I saw the replay! That lion came out of nowhere, no one could have dodged that! And when you took that hit and he flipped you… Hell! You're lucky you're not in the hospital Jason. That was a shit play that should have never been called!"

Jason stared over at Bryan dumbfounded.

“Did you- did you go to my game?" Jason asked.

Bryan hesitated and his face flushed even hotter. The rabbit scooted back slightly and sat on his heels.

“Erm, well. There wasn't anything else to do, and it was the first home game. I mean everyone else was there." Bryan said casually.

Jason smiled, the rabbit's reaction was… it was? Was it, Cute? Could guys be cute?

Jason shook his head and cleared his throat.

“Yeah well, I've also been slacking at practice."

Jason looked over at Bryan who seemed to be thinking.

“And, I haven't been going to any of my classes," Jason continued.

“Oh.." Bryan said.

“Yeah," Jason agreed.

“Well.. that's not good. That's bad. That's really bad Jason," Bryan said.

“I know." Jason groaned.

“Well okay, but I mean, why?"

Jason ran a paw down his face and over his muzzle.

“I dunno. With spending time with Jessica, dealing with the team, and everything being so new. I guess I was just getting used to everything ya know. Plus none of it was making any sense, I panicked alright!"

Bryan heard how the wolf's voice began to become strained again and he had to stop himself from reaching out and touching Jason's shoulder.

“Well. I mean… it's alright. It's going to be alright," Bryan said, trying his best to sound calm.

Jason had started to breathe faster again after his rant, but the wolf caught onto Bryan's body language and consciously took in and let out a deep breath, calming himself.

“I just don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore," Jason said as he rapidly blinked his watering eyes and banged his head on the wall behind him again and again.

“Hey… Hey! Stop that," Bryan said, once again scooting closer to Jason," Look, we're only two weeks into the semester alright? There's still plenty of time to turn this around, okay."

“Easy for you to say…" Jason mumbled.

This time Bryan did reach out, his paw softly squeezing Jason's bicep.

“You can do this Jason, and I can help. I told you I could you tutor you and I meant it! We can study between classes and after practice. We can work on it together!" Bryan said enthusiastically.

Jason felt Bryan's warm paw on his arm and as the rabbit spoke that warmth spread up his shoulder and into his chest. His heart began beating faster for a completely different reason as the wolf's ears felt even hotter than before.

Jason looked over at Bryan and glanced down between the rabbit's paw on his arm and the rabbit's face. Bryan, also becoming self-conscious about his forwardness, quickly withdrew his paw.

The wolf frowned. No longer feeling Bryan's paw was- disappointing, was Jason disappointed? The wolf's nerves still felt raw and he wasn't sure if he was overreacting or just associating actions with random emotions.

The rabbit scooted back again on the bed, giving them both some space.

After a brief pause, Jason broke the silence.

“You'd do that for me?" Jason said quietly.

“Yeah of course. I'd do anything to help you out." Bryan said and then froze, unsure if he had overstepped. But then the rabbit relaxed as Jason nodded.

“Yeah? Yeah. Hey, thanks. I appreciate it."

“Pfft, don't mention it. I do have a reputation to maintain after all," Bryan said, regaining some of his earlier confidence and sas.

Jason let out a small laugh as rubbed his face again with his paw and shook his head. The wolf definitely was not trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. Nope, definitely not. Meanwhile, right next to him, Bryan's heart skipped a beat as his mind went on yellow alert.

The rabbit quickly thought of what he might say to change the topic. If Bryan wasn't careful he'd have to excuse himself and go take a cold shower. Maybe they could shower together? Dammit- not now, Bryan mentally cursed at himself.

"You know," Bryan ventured cautiously, "one fumble doesn't define your whole career."

Jason's response was a half-hearted shrug.

"I mean it," Bryan continued, his earlier research on football paying off. "Statistically speaking, even the pros fumble about once every 50 carries. It's just probability."

Jason laughed again as a small smile spread across his lips.

That was good, Bryan thought. He liked it when Jason smiled. The rabbit wanted to always see Jason smiling. Bryan wanted the wolf's lips to be… nope. Bryan steadied himself as he hit the abort button on that train of thought.

As Jason chuckled, the wolf rolled his eyes."Did you just try to make me feel better with math?"

"Maybe?" Bryan hesitantly replied. "Is it working?"

"No," Jason said, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice. "But... thanks for trying, Bunny Boy."

The two of them sat there in comfortable silence. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them moved. As the minutes ticked by, Bryan was beginning to nod off when Jason finally pushed up off his bed and stood up, the wolf's joints popping as he stretched.

Bryan looked up and over at him from where he sat.

“I need to hit the showers," Jason said as he continued to stretch his stiff muscles. “Gods know I stink."

“It's not so bad," Bryan said," really, I don't mind.'

It was that bad. On a scale of one to a garbage truck, the wolf was solidly in the range of an old gym bag left out in the car in scorching summer heat all week bad. The rabbit really didn't mind though.

“Yeah, well I just feel grimy. I'll be back in a bit." Jason said as he grabbed his toiletry bag from his desk. The wolf stopped and looked over at the reclined rabbit who stared back at him. Bryan's eyes tracked the wolf's every movement. Neither one of them looked away. Neither one of them felt like they needed to.

Bryan felt like the wolf was about to say something. Maybe there was something Jason wanted to ask him. Did the wolf want them to shower together? Was Jason struggling to ask Bryan to experiment in the shower? Bryan's mind started to go wild with all the different things the two of them could do with different lotions. The rabbit knew from personal experience that soap wasn't good for those sorts of things.

Jason on the other paw stood there awkwardly debating on whether or not he should tell Bryan that he accidentally drooled on the back of the rabbit's head. The wolf didn't remember the last time he cried, not like that. It was messy and Jason wasn't in a hurry to bring it up in a conversation, ever. Jason decided against it and instead nodded slightly and then headed out to the student bathrooms without saying anything at all.

Bryan debated about following the wolf out of the room but decided against it. The rabbit knew Jason was straight. The guy had a girlfriend. Bryan was not going to ruin their… whatever this was by acting out an immature fantasy. So instead the rabbit stood up and went over to his side of the room. The rabbit changed into his pajamas and crawled into his bed.

When Jason returned back to their dorm room, smelling infinitely better. He tried to slowly and quietly sneak in, just in case Bryan had drifted off to sleep. His efforts were not needed however as the rabbit's head turned and watched him as he entered.

“Still up?" Jason asked.

“Yep, you?" Bryan replied with a hint of snark to his response.

The wolf rubbed his headfur with his towel as he gave the rabbit a look that just screamed- Duh, I'm standing right here, of course, I'm still awake.

“Honestly," Bryan said dryly, “my talents are wasted on the likes of you."

Jason still didn't get whatever the rabbit was prattling on about, but Bryan starting to behave like he usually did, put the wolf at ease. The wolf paused, stopping mid towel dry. Since when did Bryan start putting him at ease? Furthermore, when had the wolf started using words like “prattle" and “furthermore" in his head? Maybe Bryan was right. Maybe he wasn't such an idiot after all.

“And then maybe we can set up sometime between tutoring sessions to review your course schedule. You know if you reach out to your professors you may still be able to submit your missed assignments for partial credit." Bryan was saying before he paused. Jason hadn't moved for a while as the wolf stood in the middle of their room with a towel held up against his head.

“Jason?" Bryan asked.

There was no response.

“Jason?" Bryan asked again, slower this time as the rabbit propped himself up on his elbows.

“Hmm?" The wolf finally said as he resumed drying the back of his head. “Oh erm, yeah. Cool.

Bryan slowly blinked.

"Did you hear anything that I just said, at all?" The rabbit asked.

Jason tossed his towel on the floor and fell back onto his bed.

“Yeah. It's not inconceivable."

Bryan continued to stare at the wolf.

“What? Was it inconceivable?" Jason replied with a shrug as he stretched on top of his mattress.

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Bryan retorted.

“Well, now that's inconceivable." Jason shot back.

Bryan narrowed his eyes but the rabbit couldn't make out the wolf's features beyond the wolf's vague outline in the dim light that came in through their dorm room window. Jason was too far away for Bryan to tell if the wolf was messing with him.

Bryan laid back down on his back and rolled his eyes. At least the wolf seemed partially back to his old self. And Jason was back to sleeping in his boxers. Was that a good sign? Did the wolf's attire have any hidden implications? Bryan didn't know, but he wasn't going to complain. After the recent events of the night, the rabbit was mentally exhausted.

"Hey Bryan?" Jason whispered.

"Hmm?"

"You ever wonder if we're doing this whole life thing right?"

Bryan stared at the ceiling, considering the question. "I think everyone's just figuring it out as they go."

"Yeah," Jason replied softly. "Maybe."

The conversation drifted off, but the question lingered in both their minds.

The silence stretched between them in the darkened room, broken only by the soft sound of their breathing.

Bryan's ears twitched as he heard Jason shift restlessly on his bed.

"I just..." Jason started, then stopped. "Football was supposed to be my ticket, you know? Mom was so proud when I got the scholarship. But after today's game..."

Bryan rolled onto his side, facing Jason's bed. "I'll say it again. One bad game doesn't define your whole career."

"It's not just the game," Jason admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's everything..." The wolf let out a frustrated sigh. "What kind of business major can't even show up to class?"

"The kind who's trying to juggle a full course load with football practice and a new relationship," Bryan offered gently. "That's a lot for anyone to handle."

Jason scoffed. "Yeah? What about you? You're taking what, eighteen credits? Plus tutoring? And you seem to have it all figured out."

"First of all, it's only 16. Second, figured out?" Bryan let out a soft laugh. "Jason, I spend half my time terrified I'm going to lose my scholarship. One bad semester and it's back to being a farm hand. At least you have football."

"Had football," Jason corrected bitterly. "After today's fumble..."

"Stop that," Bryan interrupted, sitting up in his bed. "You're catastrophizing."

"I'm what now?"

"Making everything seem worse than it is. It's a cognitive distortion you learn about in Psych 101. Which you'd know if you ever went to class," Bryan added with a hint of his usual sass.

Bryan flinched as a pillow came flying at him from across the room, which smacked the rabbit and caused Bryan to laugh.

"Seriously though," Bryan continued, hugging Jason's pillow. "What do you want to do? Not what your mom wants, or what the counselors suggested. What does Jason want?"

The wolf was quiet for so long that Bryan thought he might have fallen asleep.

Finally, Jason spoke.

"I like helping people," he said softly. "Back home, I used to help coach the junior league teams. These little cubs, barely bigger than your ears, looking up at me like I had all the answers..."

Jason's voice grew wistful. "Seeing their faces when they finally got a play right or made their first touchdown... that felt, I dunno. Nice. Kind of like I was playing an important part in someone else's life, ya know. Like I was making a difference to someone."

Bryan had to place his paw over his heart to make sure it would stay in his chest. The muscle fluttered sporadically. What the hell was the wolf trying to do to him?

"Have you, uh, considered Sports Management? Or Education? You could combine business with coaching."

"Is that even a thing?"

"Of course it's a thing," Bryan replied, happy to be on a different topic. "Most major sports organizations have entire departments dedicated to youth development. And with a business degree, you could run your own training programs or sports camp."

Jason mulled the idea over. "You really think I could do that?"

"Why not? You've got the experience, the passion..." Bryan hesitated before adding, "And if you take me up on my offer to help you catch up in your business classes. Then, sure- why not?"

"Aren't you a math nerd?"

"Applied Mathematics in Architecture," Bryan corrected. "Which means I've taken enough economics and business courses to help a certain wolf pass Business Analytics. If he's willing to actually show up and do the work."

Jason was quiet again, considering. "What about you?" he finally asked. "After you design all these amazing buildings, what then?"

Bryan's ears drooped slightly. He had put in a lot of thought about his future but he hadn't shared it with anyone yet.

"If I can afford grad school, maybe my own architecture firm someday. Design spaces that make people feel... safe. Welcome." The rabbit's voice grew softer as he remembered his earlier conversation with Dreo. "Places where everyone can belong, no matter who they are."

"Because you feel- because you feel like you don't belong?" Jason said hesitantly, uncertain of if he should pry further.

"Because of a lot of things," Bryan admitted. "But yeah, partly that. The world needs more spaces where people can just... be themselves."

Jason nodded slowly. "I think- I think you belong here."

Bryan blinked in surprise, unsure of what to say to that. "Thanks, I guess?"

Jason let out a slow breath. "I know certain things bother you. Like how others don't see you for who you are. How you feel one way and sometimes feel like you are being pressured into having to act another. I guess what I'm just saying is that you can be yourself around me."

A very specific type of alarm was blaring inside the rabbit's head as Bryan pictured a mental image of a heart-shaped warp core imploding. A fictional federated space officer with a funny accent was off somewhere yelling," I'm giving her all she's got, Captain! She cannae take any more!"

“Bryan?" Jason said, snapping Bryan back to reality.

"I didn't think you were listening that closely," Bryan said as his throat tightened and his eyes grew damp...

"Yeah, well," Jason shifted uncomfortably. "Maybe I'm trying to be better at that. The listening thing."

Bryan smiled and wiped his eyes with the back of his paw, confident the darkness would hide his actions. "Well, let's get you caught up in your classes then. We can start with the basics tomorrow."

"You sure you don't mind helping me?"

"That's what friends do, right?" Bryan said, then quickly added, "I mean, if we're friends now. No pressure or anything."

Jason was quiet for a moment before responding. "Yeah, Bunny Boy. We're friends."

Another federated space officer squeezed the shoulder of the first officer inside the rabbit's mind. Both the fictional characters staring out over an exploded heart-shaped warp core before the officer turned to the other, mournfully saying, “I'm sorry… he's dead Jim."

“Hey Bryan?" Jason said softly.

Bryan had his face buried in Jason's pillow. He had clung to it desperately trying to hide his burning embarrassment. The pillow smelled like him, like Jason. Like sweat and the forest, musky with a hint of lavender.

The rabbit let out a muffled," Mmm?"

“Could I have my pillow back?"

Jason's pillow flew back across the room and smacked against the wall with a hard “Twack!"

They settled back into a comfortable silence, but this time it felt different. Like something had shifted between them, making space for new possibilities.

"Hey Bryan?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks again. For... you know. Everything."

Bryan smiled in the darkness. "Don't mention it. But you're buying coffee tomorrow before we start studying."

"Deal," Jason agreed with a tired yawn."

As they both drifted off to sleep, Bryan couldn't help but think about how far they'd come from that first awkward morning. Maybe they were both just figuring things out as they went along, but at least now they weren't doing it alone.