Chapter 4: I Was Just Trying to Delate Myself. No, No... You Know. Um, Uh. Dict, Dictate Myself. That's Delude Yourself, Dummy. -Michael “Mikey" and Brand Walsh

Bryan practically ran to his first class, Chemistry 201. The rabbit did his best to avoid eye contact with others while trying to suppress a very specific reaction his body was having. Thankfully, the cool morning wind helped a little but it also stung his hotly flushed ears.

Bryan entered his first class lecture hall to an already mostly full auditorium. The rabbit looked around and decided on a seat toward the middle back right corner. As he sat down his stomach protested the lack of breakfast by making a low rumble.

Bryan groaned as he wiped his face with his paw. He ran his tongue over his lips as he nervously chewed on his inner cheek. Then he froze. He tasted a faint hint of salty musk and instantly replayed the morning's events over in his mind. The rabbit's cheeks and ears flushed anew as he covered his mouth with his paws and lowered his head.

His face was too hot. He needed some water and a place to cool off. The rabbit stood up from his chair and made his way toward the student bathrooms. No one paid him any attention and he had to loudly excuse himself as he tried to push by several of the other students in his row.

The hallway outside the lecture hall was already beginning to clear and Bryan quickly made his way over to the restroom. He stepped up to the sink in the bathroom and ran his paws under the cold water that started pouring out of the faucet. He splashed his face several times, letting the water cool him down. Several other students hurried in and out of the stalls, quickly trying to take care of their business and return to class.

Bryan reached over to grab some paper towels to dry his face and his paw entered an empty dispenser.

“Noo.." Bryan groaned as he put his glasses back on and looked across the restroom at the other sink. Its dispenser was empty as well.

Bryan awkwardly rubbed his arm as he walked back into his classroom. His face was still wet and his fur had dripped water down onto parts of his shirt. The professor had already started class and was in the middle of an explanation about the course curriculum when he spotted Bryan trying to sneak up the auditorium stairs.

“And while attendance is not mandatory, I do expect each and every one of you to attend my lectures. And to be on time." The professor said, emphasizing his final words as Bryan stopped mid-stride and cringed.

Bryan slowly turned around, the professor and most of the class were staring at him.

“I, uh- split my drink," Bryan said meekly as he tried to look as small as possible.

There were a few snickering laughs among the seated students.

“Sorry," Bryan said, barely above a whisper as his face began to heat up again. The rabbit rushed up the final few stairs and pushed his way back to his seat as quickly and as quietly as he could.

The professor waited until Bryan was seated with a flat and unamused gaze.

“That is why attendance will be ten percent of your final grade in my class. Do with that information as you will." The professor continued as he turned toward the chalkboard. “Now get out your books and open them to chapter five."

The rabbit sank low in his chair as everyone's attention shifted back to the professor's lecture. But for Bryan, the lecture became a blur - equations and chemical bonds swam before his eyes but his mind kept returning to what he witnessed in his dorm room, followed by the sense of embarrassment of being called out in front of the entire class. Bryan bit his lip and kept his head down. Occasionally he could almost still faintly taste hints of Jason, making his ears burn with shame every time he thought about it.

When class finally ended Bryan had barely taken any notes. His face had dried off during the lecture and no one seemed to be paying him any attention anymore. Still, he waited till most of the other students had left before grabbing his bag and heading out into the hall. Being on the smaller side, Bryan had always learned to navigate large groups with caution. The crowded hallways Between the lecture halls were no exception. Walk, pause, observe, plan, repeat. That was the rabbit's life.

As he made his way between classes, Bryan's sensitive nose struggled to pick out any particular smell from his surroundings. Everything kind of blended together from the crowded student body. Yet the rabbit swore that he kept picking up faint traces of his roommate Jason, a musky lavender. Bryan looked around and froze as he caught the back of Jason's head. The wolf was walking out of a side door across the hallway. The rabbit spun on his heels and practically bolted in the opposite direction of his next class. Immediately running into another student who was walking behind him.

“Dude! Watch it." The other student said in annoyance as they readjusted their bookbag.

“Sorry! Sorry, my bad." Bryan said apologetically as he squeezed around them and continued to rush off down the hallway.

Bryan didn't fare much better during his next class. He was normally great at math, but none of his numbers were adding up. The professor was also an ancient sloth. And while Bryan knew better than to stereotype, the lecture was agonizingly slow. Between example problems the rabbit kept catching himself idly doodling tiny wolf sketches in the margins of his notebook. Every time he caught himself doing it, he'd grunt in frustration and hastily erase the drawing.

After class, Bryan was so hungry he could barely think about anything else. However, the rabbit was still cautious in scanning his surroundings. His ears were pointed upright on high alert as he navigated the crowds. When he didn't see Jason anywhere the rabbit felt a mixture of relief, disappointment, and confusion. Bryan made it back to the student dorm cafeteria and stepped through the lunch line. He picked out a ham and cheese sandwich and a carton of carrot juice before entering his student information into the checkout kiosk. Then he picked a secluded spot against a far wall and dug in.

He slowly sipped on his drink as he deducted the cost of the meal from his mental lunch stipend amount. Bryan's parents had only been able to afford the cheapest meal plan package the college offered, so he needed to stretch his balance out as far as he could before he started dipping into his savings. Still the ham and cheese sandwich was filling, and the carrot juice hit the spot. Was it a bit cliche, certainly- but after the day the rabbit was having, he needed to treat himself somehow. And while most of the prey species preferred plant-based meals, it wasn't uncommon for them to eat more protein-rich diets.

Some races considered it immoral to eat lower-order species. But that was a philosophical debate that Bryan wasn't currently interested in having. At the moment the rabbit was just enjoying his ham sandwich, as he finally started to relax a little. Bryan took a gulp of his juice, aiming to wash down the last bite of bread that clumped up in his mouth when he spotted Jason across the cafeteria. The rabbit nearly choked as his throat suddenly stopped working properly. Bryan coughed and hit his chest with his fist in an attempt to clear his airway.

The wolf was sitting next to a humongous brown bear and the two were talking. Bryan couldn't hear what they were saying, the cafeteria was far too noisy and they were too far away for any attempts at eavesdropping. But that didn't matter, Bryan wasn't going to stick around to find out. The rabbit scooped up his trash and his book bag and rushed off towards the door.

Bryan immediately headed to his next stop, the campus library, without taking any detours. If there was one place he would never see Jason, it was there. He also had to go. A stipulation of his scholarship mandated a certain number of student worker hours per semester hour the rabbit took. Bryan had chosen to be a tutor during his work period to meet that obligation.

The work wasn't particularly challenging and he also got to get sort of paid for studying. Plus he was always the most comfortable in the quiet library with its rows and rows of books. He felt like he could be himself there. It was honestly one of the major perks of his scholarship. At least in the rabbit's opinion.

Bryan signed in with the head librarian, Mr. Farleigh, and then walked over to the learning lab on the first floor. The library was still deserted this early in the school year, and Bryan was grateful for the solitude. The rabbit quickly got all his coursework and notes organized on the table in front of him.

As Bryan read through each course's syllabus, he updated and rewrote his notes, putting numerous numbered bookmarks in the course's textbook. The rabbit was just finishing up his first week's coursework for his classes when he paused. He needed a reference book for a citation. Bryan pulled up a mental map of the college library from his earlier tour with Mr. Farleigh.

“Second floor, third or fourth aisle," Bryan said under his breath as he stood up.

As he stood and started for the door to the learning lab, he immediately saw a spotted cat standing only inches away from him that he had almost walked straight into.

“Woah" Bryan loudly whispered, taking a quick step back. The rabbit's strict and subconscious compliance with library etiquette overriding the volume of his surprise.

The spotted feline looked just as surprised.

“Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you." The spotted feline said with a bit of an accent that Bryan couldn't quite place.

“The name's Dres'itro." The spotted feline said as he held out his paw. “But you can call me Dreo."

Bryan hesitated a moment. Dreo wasn't much bigger than he was, the spotted feline was maybe a hair taller with a slim build and short brushed fur. A long thin tail swished around behind the cat, waving back and forth over the feline's shoulder. Bryan reached out and shook Dreo's paw. The rabbit's eyes caught a flash of a rainbow pride bracelet under the feline's sleeve.

“Hey, I'm Bryan," Bryan replied with a pause before continuing. “Dres'itrow, that felixy?"

Dreo's smile widened as one of his eyebrows raised. “It's Dres'itrO, but please. Call me Dreo. And yes. I'm impressed, not many people would catch that."

Bryan couldn't help but smile along with the feline."Well, I did my senior thesis on cultures from the central continents. Are you a foreign exchange student?"

Dreo quickly shook his head and waved his paw in front of himself, “No. No, I'm from Central. Born and raised. But my mother traveled north on a student visa for school. She met my father, they fell in love, had me, and now here I am."

“Wow, that's awesome," Bryan said, still keeping his voice down.

“Yes. I think so too."

There was a pause in the conversation as both Dero and Bryan looked at one another.

“Well, I just need to grab this quick book. But if you're here for a tutor session, then just give me a moment and I'll be right back." Bryan said, breaking the silence as he went to step around Dreo.

“Actually, I'm here because of a rumor I heard this morning," Dreo said, stepping in front of Bryan's path again.

The rabbit's ears drooped and his tone flattened as his smile was replaced with a hardened expression. “Oh. What rumor would that be?"

“Woah, sore subject I see," Dreo said, taking a step back.

“Yeah."

“Look, I don't mean anything bad I swear. Here look." Dreo turned slightly and dug into a satchel he had slung over his shoulder.

Bryan heard the rustling of papers as Dreo pulled a pink form from out of his bag. The feline held it out for Bryan to take.

“And this is…" Bryan asked cautiously.

Dreo's eyes went from his to the paper and then back to Bryan again as the feline continued to hold out the form.

“Look for yourself."

Bryan hesitantly grabbed the form and read it over.

Request for student club registration. Club name: LGBTQIA+ Pride Club Alliance. Club President: Dres'itro Melharia. Club Vice President: Chase Leestra. The rest of the form was a blank numbered list.

'What is this?" Bryan said in confusion.

“I would think it's fairly obvious, it's a club registration form."

“Hightail doesn't have a pride club," Bryan said, still confused.

“I know." Dreo replied with a funny look on his face, “That's why it's a registration form and not a signup form. We need at least five members to register a new club with the school board."

“Oh no," Bryan said in a forced whisper. “I just got here, and I'm not painting another target on my back."

Bryan shoved the form back into Dreo's paw and stepped around the feline as he headed for the second floor stairwell.

Dreo turned and followed him out of the learning lab.

“Hey- wait, wait." The feline said as he chased after the rabbit.

“Look, I get it okay. But don't you want to be part of a group? Surrounded by like minded individuals. Make a difference?" Dreo said as he and Bryan walked up the stairway to the second floor landing.

“I just don't think it's right for me," Bryan said as he quickened his pace to get some distance from the feline.

“Okay, but how about this? A lack of extracurricular activities looks bad on a resume. You sign up for any other clubs yet?"

“No, I haven't signed up for any extracurriculars yet. Hold up, gotta grab something real quick." Bryan replied as he picked up his pace and darted down one of the book aisles.

Dreo stopped and tapped his foot impatiently on the floor, still holding the pink registration form. Bryan's heart was beating fast. What did that guy want from him? There was no way he was going to join a Pride Club of all things. Bryan just wanted to be left alone, get through his classes, graduate, and then he'd figure the rest out. Why couldn't people just leave him alone?

Bryan grabbed a few books from the shelf next to him and rushed toward the end of the aisle, intending to sneak away from the persistent feline. And then the rabbit collided right into Jason, the books the rabbit was carrying tumbling to the floor.

“Awww- come on," Jason said in an exasperated voice. “How the hell can you be everywhere? Really How?!?"

Bryan blinked up at Jason, confused and at a loss for words."Wha- What?"

Several shushing sounds came from around the library because of the sudden loud noises.

Jason's face and ears were flushed red as he glared down at Bryan. Bryan blinked rapidly trying to process what had just happened.

“Hey! Leave him alone," Dreo said from the other side of the room as the spotted feline ran up to Bryan, crouching down by his side.

Another few shushing sounds echoed out from the library.

“Oh man, are you alright?" Dreo asked.

“I, well. I was-am, Yes?" Bryans stuttered and stumbled over his words.

Jason let out a low growl as he turned and stormed off.

“What's his problem?" Dreo said as he and Bryan watched the wolf leave.

Bryan collected his books and pulled himself off the ground, taking Dreo's offered paw.

The rabbit let out a deep breath. “Nothing. That's just my roommate."

“Your roommate?" Dreo said, clearly confused, Dude seemed like an ass."

“No, well." Bryan waved the comment away," It's just Jason."

Dreo looked even more confused as he looked at Bryan and then back toward the direction Jason had stormed off in.

Bryan just shrugged, unsure of what else to say. He was at a loss himself.

“He's not bullying you is he?" Dreo asked, his voice going serious in a low whisper.

“Eh, well.." Bryan hesitated as he thought of the best way to respond.

“Because that is the exact reason why this school needs a pride club." Dreo reached over and placed a paw on both of Bryan's shoulders. “ So that we can stand up to asshole jocks like him and be safe. You don't have to be alone Bryan. You have allies!"

Another shush sound came from across the room followed by some hushed grumbles.

Bryan's ears flushed pink," What, no. He's not. I'm not." The rabbit said in a hushed voice, taking a step back clearly caught off guard.

“Look, it's okay. You're in a safe space." Dreo replied matching Bryan's volume while taking a step forward right along with the anxious rabbit.

Bryan shook free of the spotted feline's grasp. “No look. Really. I said it's not like that okay. I'm fine. He's fine."

Dreo's eyes narrowed, “uh huh."

“We're fine. See." Bryan gave Dreo his best fake smile.

“That's a little creepy," Dreo said, still suspiciously eyeing the rabbit.

Bryan rolled his eyes.

“Look I'm alright. I'm not being bullied, it was just an accident. I don't want to join a" Bryan's voice went to an even lower whisper," Pride club. And I would appreciate it if you stopped asking."

Dreo raised a clawed finger and went to say something.

Bryan cut him off," Now if you don't mind. I need to get back. I have a study session I have to host."

Dreo lowered his paw and looked around the mostly empty library. The spotted feline took in and let out a slow breath.

“Alright, I get it."

“And another thing. I thin.." Bryan stopped, “ wait. What?"

“Yeah, I get it."

“Get what?" Bryan's heart skipped a beat as he desperately tried to think about anything else besides that morning.

Don't think about his scent. Don't think about his knot…, Bryan chanted to himself in his head. Which only served to accomplish the opposite effect.

“You're not ready to come out yet. It's fine man."

Bryan let out an exasperated laugh. Dreo stepped up to the rabbit again and placed his paw on Bryan's shoulder, a sad smile on his face.

“I just thought- it doesn't matter. We all have to do our own journey. And look, when you're ready- look me up okay?"

Bryan really didn't know what to say to that and after staring awkwardly at Dreo for a moment, he decided to slowly nod his head. Dreo nodded in return and patted his shoulder before the spotted feline turned and started walking back toward the stairs.

“What the fuck." Bryan wordlessly mouthed as he stood there and watched Dreo leave.

Seriously, this had to be some kind of sick joke the universe was pulling on him Bryan thought.

Once Dreo had walked out of sight, Bryan headed back to the learning lab. His stuff was still right where he left it. No other students had shown up.

The rabbit sat down the books he had carried down from the second floor and made an effort to look over his papers once again. It was an effort in futility, Bryan's mind might as well have been a millions mile away. Why the hell had Jason been hiding in the library? Was the wolf stalking him? No, that didn't make sense, Jason was straight Bryan thought to himself. Then the rabbit thought back to that morning. Hadn't he heard Jason call out his name? When he walked into the room- doing, what he was doing. Was he thinking about Bryan?

Bryan's heart rate quickened as his mind started constructing a narrative. First, the wolf pretended to be asleep to gather blackmail material on him. Then he “let" Bryan catch him masturbating to test out the waters. Wolves were notorious for being vicious and cunning hunters. If Jason was stalking Bryan that would explain why the wolf was suddenly everywhere.

The morning hallway, the cafeteria, were all pieces of a puzzle. It would also explain why Jason was in the library. The wolf could be scoping him out, marking his territory. Maybe Jason was secretly a gay predator, hunting for young unsuspecting, innocent college prey. A ravenous wolf looking to satisfy his insatiable lust.

Bryan laughed at himself. "Yeah right, keep the fantasies to the message boards," he said under his breath.

A knock at the learning lab door nearly caused the rabbit's heart to leap out of his chest. Bryan sat up so quickly that he nearly pushed himself over in his chair.

“Excuse me, are you the tutor?" A young squirrel who was standing in the doorway said.

Bryan was breathing heavily as he looked over at the female squirrel, his eyes wide, and nodded.

“Oh erm, should I? Should I come back?"

Bryan just continued to nod as the squirrel slowly backed out and left the room.

After a few moments, Bryan managed to swallow his heart back down into his chest and he went back out into the library. He found the squirrel talking with Mr. Farleigh. Bryan reintroduced himself, apologized, and walked back to the learning lab with Mindy, the squirrel, talking about her economics class.

Once he was done with a brief session, Mindy thanked him and left. Bryan felt better after thinking about something that wasn't a six foot something walking muscle. In hindsight, the whole day just felt silly. What was he getting so worked up about?

They were both guys. It was fine. They were even. “Even?" Bryan whispered under his breath. Bryan shook his head. The entire day had him feeling exhausted. He needed a coffee. Bryan packed up his classwork and picked up his backpack. He signed out for the day with Mr.Farleigh at the front desk and headed outside just as the sun began to set.

Bryan walked across a courtyard and cut through a building before reaching the on campus cafe. As the rabbit opened the door he was greeted with a warm coffee-laden burst of air. He licked his lips as he walked up to the counter and placed his order. He didn't treat himself often to coffee, but after today he deserved it.

Just as Bryan got done paying and leaving a tip for his drink, he felt the fur on the back of his neck stand up. He knew the feeling well. It was the feeling one gets when they are being watched.

“Noo…." Bryan thought to himself as he slowly turned around.

A few tables over sat a cat. Next to the cat sat Jason. Both of them were staring daggers at him. Bryan turned slowly back around and proceeded to walk straight out of the cafe. He went straight back to a table in the library, dropped his book bag on the floor, and let his head fall forward and thump against the wooden table top as time passed around him.

This is pathetic, Bryan thought for the umpteenth time, having lost track of how long he had been idly tracing the woodgrain next to his head. I can't keep running away forever. We live together, for God's sake.

Someone cleared their throat next to the rabbit and Bryan looked up. Mr.Farleigh was standing nearby with a tote bag.

“Ah, Mr. Bramblebush. The library's closing now. You best hurry back to your dorm. Curfew is in 30 minutes." The old librarian said as he motioned towards the front entrance to the building with his paw.

Bryan stood and straightened himself out. He was exhausted. The rabbit thanked the old librarian as he followed him out of the building. Then Bryan slowly walked back to the student dorms. Bryan didn't think he had ever walked slower in all his life.

The rabbit reached his dorm room with minutes to spare before the student curfew chime. He fit his key into the lock, turned it, and then opened the door.

Bryan walked in and immediately saw Jason lying down on his bed, his back facing away from the wall. Jason had his headphones on and Bryan's lamp was the only source of light in the room. The wolf was lying down in his school clothes. The shift in the wolf's demeanor instantly put Bryan on alert.

The rabbit set his book bag on the floor and then plopped down on his bed. He looked over at his lamp and noticed the coffee cup next to it. His order was written in barely legible ink above his name. Bryan reached out and grabbed the cup, bringing it up to his nose.

The liquid was only lukewarm, but the smell still brought a smile to the rabbit's face.

“We should probably talk," Jason said softly, not moving from his position on his bed.

Bryan nodded, “Yeah. Probably."