FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Stephen stepped out of his car and into the parking lot of Wild Things, the new theme park in town. He counted maybe ten vehicles already here.

He pulled out his phone and started filming. "Hi everyone! Stephen here. Today I'm checking out Wild Things! I've heard some great things, and well, I'm hoping they live up to the hype!" He walked over to a painted sign of a kangaroo wearing a traffic director outfit. "I think this is their mascot. It's so cute! Kangaroos are awesome. Already winning points in my book. Talk to ya later!"

It was still early morning, and besides, Wild Things theme park technically hadn't opened yet. He was here today as a Special Guest, according to the ticket they'd mailed him. They were asking certain members of the community to come and check out the attractions, to drum up excitement before the Grand Opening for the summer season. The woman who had contacted him, Kristen, wrote she had seen his theme park blog and would he be willing to come check out the place?

Of course! Anything to get away from Boyd and the rest of the shop. Never in his life had he booked off sooner. Boyd had agreed, but only if he kept his phone on. Something could always happen and he'd be called in.

Yeah right. Not coming in today! I've got rides to catch!

He was supposed to meet with Kristen and sign some paperwork. They'd probably have rules about what he could and couldn't photograph or film. No big deal. He'd never had the chance to preview a theme park before. This was a big development in his blogging career. He bounced his way over to the gate and presented his ticket to the man waiting.

"One of our special guests?" he said as he took the ticket and produced a fold-up map for Stephen to take. "Hope it's a great time. I've been instructed to tell you that your guide is a bit caught up right now but she wants to see you before you go."

"Bummer," Stephen said. "Are there any special rules I need to follow?" He pulled out his phone. "Are pictures okay?"

"I can't see why not..." The man shrugged. "You know what? They didn't tell me one way or the other, so be my guest! Maybe check with Kristen or someone else with PR before you upload them? And respect the signs. Some attractions aren't finished yet. For your safety, keep away if it's clearly closed. If you're unsure, ask! We aren't at full operation just yet, but there will be staff around at all times." He opened the gate and stepped aside. "Have fun!"

He had one question before he went in. "It's really empty right now. How many are you expecting?"

The man looked puzzled. "Eh... ask Kristen, but I think it's only a couple dozen? You're the second to arrive."

"Cool. Thanks!" He waved and entered the park.

He pulled out his phone again. "I'm in! This place is so cool you guys. He held up the map. So it's animal themed, right? And they've got the park areas themed by biomes. Desert, arctic, rain forest, even underwater! The biggest attraction, the Rattlesnake, I think that one's in Desert. I, uh, think I want to work my way up to that one. Let's go see what they have to offer!"

He wasn't sure how long it would be until Kristen could talk to him, so he figured he could check out a few rides, peek into some shops, and sample some food in the meantime. He was not going to be bored.

Most of the shops weren't open yet. There was one souvenir place to check out, and it was on the way so he stepped in. It had the usual theme park goodies, and the usual theme park pricing (not worth mentioning that in the review... it came with the territory). There was a whole section that was nothing but kangaroos in various outfits. He went for a closer look.

"Welcome!" came a voice from across the shop. He looked over the kangaroos and an island of collectible mugs to see a friendly woman wearing a kangaroo hat walking toward him. "How do you like Kandace?" she asked.

"Kandace?"

"Our mascot!" She picked up one of the stuffed kangaroos and pretended to bounce it in the air. "I love her." Stephen saw the kangaroo's name printed on a tag. He wasn't sure how he'd missed it.

Kandace... name could use some tweaking? He didn't hate it. He took a note. Really, it was minor.

"She is cute," he said.

"Did you know we're going to have a petting zoo? With real kangaroos! It's going to be so awesome!"

"A petting zoo? Is it open? I'd love to check it out."

The woman shook her head. "Not yet. They're still working on making it a comfortable place for the animals. I think in two weeks?"

"Too bad. Oh well." He stepped away from the stand. "Thanks for the info! I'm going to see what else you have."

"Sure thing! Have a great time!"

The workers here were friendly. Very friendly. Very, very friendly. It was almost unsettling. It was important to make a good first impression and he was sure it was coached, but maybe he could recommend they dial it back some.

He went to check out some of the rides. They only had one or two major rides in each biome open, so it would be easy to ride all of them if he wanted. The Grasslands biome featured a fun wooden coaster that he got a front seat for (and rode with three other reviewers, all from the bigger outlets) and was just thrilling enough to be exciting without making his head and neck hurt. Rain Forest boasted the world's wildest log flume, which he skipped on because it felt a little chilly. Otherwise it was the usual: parachute drop, eggbeater ride, space ships, and merry-go-round. The merry-go-round was a fun design. All the seats were designed after animals from the underwater biome: dolphins, sea horses, and the like.

Still hadn't made his way to Rattlesnake yet. Towering at one hundred fifty metres tall and threatening multiple hairpin turns and loops, he wasn't sure he was ready for it yet. He was not the kid he used to be.

Between rides and park sections, as he was sitting on the bench looking at the map to decide where he wanted to go next, he was interrupted. "You look like you could use some help!"

Stephen looked toward the voice. A kangaroo stood at the other end of the bench. It wore a green vest and a name tag that read, "Cheryl."

"Oh wow, that's a really convincing costume!" He jumped up. Whoever was designing the park's costumes was extremely good. She looked exactly like a real kangaroo! The costume even blinked, and the mouth looked genuine, too.

Cheryl winked. "Thank you! But I was wondering if you needed any help?"

Stephen shook his head. "No, I'm looking at where I want to go next. But thank you!"

"All right, I'll let you explore on your own, then. But if you want a roo's advice? Try the Safari Secrets ride. It's a nice break." She turned around. The costume's tail was very convincing. And she walked in character, too! He was tempted to touch it, but he knew better. She looked back at him. "Oh, and try the food! Unlike the competition, we have standards!"

He watched her go. This was a really neat place, even with it in the "test mode" stage. As for her suggestion? He wasn't usually one for those sorts of rides, but if she was suggesting it, probably there was good reason. So he went there nexgt.

After finishing with Safari Secrets -- the dark ride had a hidden, surprisingly quiet plunge at the end -- he found a kiosk selling park-themed foods. He opted for the KangaPop and Hoppin' Hot Dog, settled onto a park bench, and browsed the photos and videos he'd taken so far while he dried off. Fairly standard stuff. Not enough kangaroos, though.

He should have asked Cheryl for a photograph.

He also checked his messages. Felicity wanted to know if he was game for a rescheduled practice tomorrow night instead of two days from now, she wanted to try something different with his guitar but wouldn't say what, and did it work? She'd bring food. He texted that of course he'd make it and her food better not be pineapple chips and dip again!

She sent back a reply suggesting she didn't appreciate his joke.

He also saw a text from Boyd asking him to come in. They were busy and needed the help. Stephen rolled his eyes. Sucks for you I guess, he thought but didn't type.

Stephen glanced at the map. He had been avoiding the Desert completely. He'd seen just about everything else, though. He might as well head over to the Rattlesnake to complete his day. But since he'd just finished eating...

The map pointed out a hall of mirrors on the way. "I don't think I've ever seen one of these at a theme park" Those lived at the travelling county fair or funny roadside attractions. "Let's check it out." It would give his food, and his nerves, plenty of time to settle.

The hall of mirrors was a very small building tucked between a cotton candy stall and a closed prize booth. A sign on the door announced, HELLO! I AM UNDER CONSTRUCTION. WE LOOK FORWARD TO WELCOMING YOU! Still, Stephen wanted to see what it had, so he tried to peek through the windows. They were tinted and he couldn't make out anything. He tried the door, and it opened.

"Well, it won't hurt to take a quick peek." He'd be in and out before anyone noticed. He pulled out his phone for another clip, then thought better of it. If he did get scolded, he didn't want the evidence.

SEE ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES! Promised a sign right past the entrance. DREAM OF WHAT COULD BE! "That's an odd thing to say at a house of mirrors, but I like the theme they've got." The room and hallway ahead was a dark, deep blue, and pinpricks of light like stars rotated in the walls. "How do they do that?" With some trick of lighting and perception, the star field seemed to extend far beyond the walls. The floor, currently covered by a white plastic film, directed him onward.

The first mirror approached on his left. He walked eagerly to it. What would this one show? He came to an abrupt stop just before he stood in front of it. In the mirror, where his left foot should be was a long, brown-furred paw with claws at the end. His shoe, or what was left of it, hung in tatters from it. "Huh?" Stephen looked at his real foot, outside the mirror. It was a normal human foot with a shoe on.

He looked back at the mirror. "How do they do that? So weird!"

As soon as his other foot crossed the threshold, it, too, had the shape of a paw. He looked down again. Yep, normal foot. This was some amazing technology. He balanced on one foot to get a better look at the paw-reflection from multiple angles. "This is kinda fun! I wonder what animal this is."

But there was only so much fun he could have with mirror-paws, so Stephen went to the next mirror. "What's this one going to--whoa!" In this mirror, his feet were back to normal, but his head... "I've got animal ears!" Tall, rabbit-like ears covered in short brown fur protruded from his head where his real ears should be. He reached up and felt his ears. In the reflection, his ears bent at the contact and passed under his hand, then bounced back when his hand cleared them. Outside the mirror, he felt his normal ears.

Which made sense, of course. Whatever the tech they used, it couldn't affect him in real life!

What was really interesting was how his reflection's ears would twitch without him thinking about it. But after a little bit of playing, he went to the next. "Wonder what it'll show me."

In the next one, his paws were back. And so was a tail! He rotated to get a better look. "Cool!" And now he could figure out the animal. "It's a kangaroo! It's making me a kangaroo!" But, "Oh, my pants." His pants were ruined. At least the ones in real life were intact. He hopped in front of the mirror a couple times. It was fun, so he hopped over to the next one. There was only one more after this one. He was eager to see what they'd do next.

And in this one? Everything about him had changed. The paws, tail, and lower body carried over, and his ears were back, and now his face had pushed out to a kangaroo's. His arms and hands, too, had changed. He waved at himself in the mirror, and the kangaroo (still wearing his clothes) waved back. His shirt seemed intact at least. Stephen was almost disappointed. Maybe the tech wasn't that good yet.

Still, this was quickly becoming his favourite attraction. He'd definitely have to share this one.

There was only one more mirror. This one had words above it, but in the light he couldn't make them out. "Let's see the last one." He hopped over to it but, on the way, felt a little dizzy. The mirror strobed with a quick burst of light. Stephen rubbed his head. It felt fuzzy. Literally fuzzy. "Hmm?"

His shape in the last mirror looked the same as the one he was just at. "What's different?" he asked. "Still cool." He admired his kangaroo shape for a bit. "Guess it's time to find the exit."

Suddenly the lights came on. "Who's in here?" came a voice. "This attraction is closed."

"Sorry!" Stephen yelled. "I just wanted a quick look. I'll leave, my apologies."

At least that's what he meant to say. Instead, a series of weird barks came from his mouth.

He snorted. What was that?

"Seriously, we haven't finished fine-tuning this one yet." The voice came closer. "We have some kinks to work ou--oh." The man the voice belonged to appeared in Stephen's peripheral vision. He raised a radio to his mouth. "Hey, we have a situation in the mirrors. Could I get some back-up?"

Stephen glanced around for an escape. He saw none. So he froze in place. "Sorry," he tried to say, but more weird noises came out.

He hoped Kristen wouldn't ban him.

****

"So, Stephen, when we said to abide by all posted signs and to stay out of closed areas, we meant it," Kristen said. She was a friendly but no-nonsense type of person who, once she heard there was an incident, and the staff member collected Stephen's wallet (it had fallen when his pants burst at some point), she put one and one together.

Stephen couldn't talk, for whatever reason, but he had a lot of questions, so noises kept pouring from his mouth as panic rose in his chest until Kristen told him firmly to shut up.

"Can someone give me a list of where he went and what he did, today?" she asked the gathered staff members. It wasn't clear what they were present for, maybe to gawk at the human-turned-kangaroo, maybe they could help in some way, but none of them could provide it. "Find out for me, please. I don't want another incident."

"Right away, ma'am!"

Stephen raised his paw. He knew where he had gone, but he didn't know why he was like this, but he still didn't know how to communicate. He waved his paw in the air and tried to mimic a pen-holding gesture.

"I don't think you'll be able to hold a pen with those," she told him. She sighed. "Can we get Charles? We need Charles."

"He's on his way, ma'am."

"Can he hurry?"

A couple minutes passed. "He says it's not an emergency and, um, to wait."

"I am going to turn that man into a mouse and put him with that regulator we caught."

"Shall I pass that along?"

Kristen shook her head. "No." She turned her attention to a now-very-nervous Stephen. "So, Stephen. I do apologize for the... mishap... and when Charles gets here he'll fix you right up. We've been testing out a more, well, immersive experience for our guests, but we still have some bugs we're working out. Like that," she said, gesturing to him.

Stephen huffed. But all he could do was wait. He wondered now if Cheryl was really wearing a costume. But she had spoken and done normal human things.

Charles was a small man with a sparkle in his eye and a smile on his wrinkled face. "Quite the pickle, eh?" he asked. He held a syringe with a greenish-blue liquid in it. "Open up."

Stephen complied. Charles stuck the syringe in his mouth and emptied its contents. It tasted like melons, and grass. He swallowed. "What was that?" he asked.

And he spoke! He actually spoke! This Charles was reversing everything!

"My fast-acting formula," Charles said. "Gives you your speech back and should do something about these paws of yours." He took one of Stephen's new paws in his hand. Before his eyes, his paw morphed just a little, to look like a cross between a human hand and a kangaroo paw. "You'll be able to pick up items and use thumbs in no time!"

He nodded to Kristen. "He'll be fine. He's perfectly healthy. Have we got a spot in the petting zoo kennel?"

"Wait, what?! Petting zoo?" Stephen hopped toward Charles. "But I'm a human! I have band practice! A blog!"

"We'll give him better accommodations than the petting zoo, Charles. We've got lodging we can spare near Cheryl's dorm." Kristen faced Stephen. "I'm afraid Charles has reversed all he can."

"What do you mean? I'm stuck like this? I can't go home like this!"

Kristen shook her head. "No, you can't." She paused. "How would you like to work for us? I think we can make it work. Until we can improve the reversal formula?"

****

Well, there wasn't much Stephen could do about his situation. He hadn't planned to turn into a kangaroo today, and he had another job away from the theme park, but... didn't he hate the job? Couldn't he do something else? So he agreed.

The only problem was the band. He could be a talking, singing kangaroo performer in the park, where people believed he was a very convincing costume, but to have performances at coffee shops and concert halls? Probably not. Still, there was a plan in place. Felicity agreed to join on as a seasonal performer right away, but the others were still unsure. They were a little afraid of becoming animals themselves.

Felicity, meanwhile, had to be actively prevented from finding a way to become a kangaroo. She loved Stephen's new form and took every opportunity to say so.

Cheryl was happy to have another talking kangaroo to talk to. Hers had also been partly accidental. They had been trying to find a way to let all the staff be kangaroos while on shift, if they wanted and safety permitted it, and she had volunteered for an early attempt. Which, as could be seen, had lasted longer than anyone had expected. It was awkward being a kangaroo sometimes, she said, but it could be lots of fun, too. So much fun, she might even refuse the reversal formula when they completed it. If they ever did.

But all in all, his life now wasn't so bad. He had a fun job, a free room with food, and a stipend (it was, after all, legitimate employment). Still had to figure out how to join his family for holidays, but Stephen was assured they were working something out.

If only the visitors would stop calling him Kandace.