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A sudden force woke Ri up. He gasped, only to find he was surrounded by something soft, warm, and heavy. His breath rasped roughly into the silence, phantoms of his dreams haunting the corners of his mind.

[i]Ri, [/i]said a voice, deep and reassuring and gentle. It was Two – Ri was safe in that fluffy Mewtwo’s arms.

[i]Ri, [/i]he called again.

[i]I – I’m here, [/i]Ri sighed. Realizing he was home safe under Cinnabar he calmed down, but adrenaline rushed through him, making him wide awake. Two sighed and relaxed on top of him – it only made him feel heavier, but Ri didn’t mind, it meant he was safe and protected.

[i]You were dreaming, [/i]Two said.

[I]I…

[/I]Ri didn’t know what to say, he didn’t really want to think about it.

[i]Don’t worry about it, [/i]Two assured him. With a huff Ri felt the weight on top of him slide off, but while his front was exposed the warmth and weight moved to his side, Two’s arm laid across his chest. Ri groaned, he felt like he was drifting in the sea, staring up into the darkness of their room. He turned over on his side so his back was facing Two, letting Two cuddle him from behind. Two pulled him in close to keep him comforted. Ri groaned again, wincing against the thoughts and memories that threatened him from the corners of his mind.

[i]Sorry, [/i]Ri whimpered.

[i]It’s fine, [/i]Two assured him. [i]Just… try and relax.

[/i]Ri sighed, taking his mate’s advice to heart. The purple and orange Lucario laid curled on his side, trying to fend off the memories that were haunting his dreams. He lifted his left arm and ‘looked’ at his wrist – he didn’t need to see to visualize the letters and numbers branded into his fur: “XD002.” The thought of it made him remember a Cipher scientist freeze-burning them into his arm. No matter what he did, he felt unsettled, and tossed and turned against his mate.

[i]You’re worked up, [/i]Two said, breaking up the silence with his mind’s voice. [i]We could get up and do something.

[/i]Ri whimpered; his mate was right. Two tentatively lifted his arm to let Ri out. Ri nearly started to panic – he didn’t want to be alone, alone like when –

A bunt across the top of his head grounded him. Two wasn’t going to leave him alone, not again. Another groan escaped his muzzle as he found the will to push himself out of bed. As promised Two was close by, he even pushed around Ri to lead him to the kitchen. Ri followed his mate through their home in the dark, down the hallway that led to everyone’s rooms and out into where their home opened up into their living room and kitchen area. The place was adapted from the old common area for the scientists who engineered Two in secret; hence the open, minimal division between the kitchen and living room. In recent years, though, Ri and Two appreciated how the open space helped Ri and Two feel involved when Red and Blue or others were up to things, at least as long as they were doing those things in the living room.

[i]Sit, [/i]Two encouraged. Disheartened, Ri sat at the island they used as a multi-purpose counter space/casual dining room while Two flipped on a dim light with his mind. Just enough for them to see.

[i]Good to know that still works, [/i]Two commented. Ri huffed; he didn’t like being reminded how long it had been since the last time he’d had a moment like this. He was happy it worked too, though, as he buried his muzzle in his arms and watched Two do his thing. Two found their electric kettle and poured some water inside, then set it to boil. He looked through cabinets for a mug. Not just [i]any [/i]mug, Ri sensed, a special one. He floated it out with his mind and placed it carefully on the counter. He searched drawers for tea, and measured out a serving of tea into an infuser and placed it into the mug. Waiting for the water to boil he leaned on the counter and watched over Ri; they made eye contact. Ri watched Two smile at him – a gentle, reassuring one, not a happy one. Under his mate’s gaze Ri felt exposed; in this state even the dim light they needed to see disagreed with him.

[i]I… I need it dark, [/i]Ri said, to make sure Two knew.

[i]When I have your tea made for you, [/i]Two assured him. Ri blinked his understanding at Two and closed his eyes and tried to relax, letting his aura senses ‘see’ for him. Two lit up nearly blindingly blue in his aura sensing ‘eye,’ Ri could see Two’s aura almost as clearly as he could with his eyes, just in monochrome. The rest of their home was a little harder to see, but his purple aura and Two’s blue aura reflected off of everything to let him see fairly clearly. Nearby he could sense Blue sleeping calmly, and there was a black box where he knew Red’s room was. Aside from that the aura-field was still; Ri could sense the surface but they lived far enough from others such that usually, Ri’s aura senses were quiet. It was an Arceus-send for the Lucario to have peace at home. No auras to threaten him or distract him or bother him, just that of his mate and close friends, auras he [i]wanted[/i] to pay attention to and care about. Ri whimpered, though; in his current mood Blue’s dormant aura was less welcome, even though he knew the Lucario was a friend.

After a few minutes Two’s aura shifted. He watched Two pour the water for his tea, then bring the mug over, set it in front of him on the counter-table, and then sit down across from him. Ri opened his eyes to look at his mate.

[i]Thank you, [/i]he said with a dispirited sigh.

[i]It’ll be OK, [/i]Two assured him. Ri nodded; he didn’t feel bad, he just felt… fragile. He trusted Two understood, they’d been through this too many times and, besides, Two could sense him too. Just… Ri wished he stopped getting like this. He sighed into his arms, looking at his mate pitifully. Two sat with him until the tea finished brewing, then lifted the infuser out of the mug with his mind, shook out the water from the loose tea, then floated it to the sink to deal with later. Ri lifted his head off the table and took the mug in his paw; it was the one Two always used in the past to comfort him. It read “World’s Strongest Lucario” on it, faded from time and use. Ri hated the thing when Two first got it, but after years and the history of the thing, it meant a lot to him. Ri melted at the thought of the care Two put into him. He couldn’t help feeling warm and fluffy inside; it helped dispel the empty, worthless feeling that overtook him.

[i]I think you need a change in scenery, [/i]Two suggested. Ri nodded, letting Two handle things. Two flicked off the lights, then stood up to lead Ri. Ri followed Two back down the hallway to their office. There wasn’t anything particularly special about it, but it was a change of scenery, and – Two seemed to hope – of mindset. Ri knew the place well and he could sense-see his and Two’s desk on his left and the wall-length bookshelf on his right. Two led Ri to the bookshelf and inside to a nook that they’d had made so they could cuddle and read together. Two lied down in it with his back against the wall. Careful not to spill his tea Ri laid back against him, on the soft, comfy mattress they set inside the nook. Two hugged him from behind and made sure he was upright. Ri sighed again, trying to center himself and calm himself down. Being with his mate helped, being in the dark helped, having a calming, delicious cup of tea helped – though Ri would have to wait to drink it. Having it helped anyway, with the care Two showed to make it for him and the silent reassurance of their matehood it represented. Ri tried to rub against Two a little, working between his sensors so his head rubbed against Two’s chest fur. He didn’t feel great, but he wanted to reassure his mate he was with him, that he was thankful.

[i]I’m happy you’re comfortable, [/i]Two assured him. Gratitude washed over Ri; it had been [i]so [/i]long since he and Two had needed to do this. Back then… Ri didn’t think he acknowledged how much it meant as much as he did now.

[i]I feel better, [/i]Ri assured his mate. [i]Thank you,[/i] he reiterated.

[i]You’re my mate, [/i]Two assured him, bunting across the top of his head. Ri sighed; he knew what his mate meant. “You’re welcome” was awkward, “no problem” was awkward, neither of them really said what Two meant. It was an acknowledgment: “I’m here for you.”

[i]I’m with you, [/i]Ri assured him again.

[i]Thank you, [/i]Two said with weight.

Ri huffed; the acknowledgment meant a lot to his mate, too. Held close to him, Ri felt stronger. In the dark, he felt safe. It felt… “right.” It wasn’t a good right, but a small, little piece of Ri felt like it belonged in the dark, like it belonged cut off from his senses. As long as he was safe, like he was with Two, sometimes that bit of him asserted itself. Dark protected him, he was safe in the dark.

The mates lied quietly together, Ri sipping at his tea when it cooled down enough for him to drink it without hurting himself. The silence helped Ri settle himself; Two’s presence, his warmth helped Ri feel better. The tea was sweetly calming; it tasted of marshmallow root, lavender, chamomile, and spearmint, a bunch of calming, pleasant scents. The air of their home in the dark, late at night (really – the early morning) was sobering, like they were doing something they shouldn’t, or somewhere they shouldn’t be. Ri whimpered gently at the thought but he managed to dismiss it; this was their home, he was with his mate, and he managed to reassure himself nobody was going to punish him for it.

Two started petting Ri gently – even absentmindedly. Ri sensed it was just a tic; Two was [i]usually[/i] playing with something or other to keep his active mind under control. The familiarity helped anyway, reminding Ri to stick to the present. Safe, he had friends and others he cared for and who cared for him. He didn’t need to worry about being hurt or pumped full of chemicals anymore. He shuddered – it was a mistake to think about that stuff.

A sound outside – and a stirring aura – distracted the Lucario. Ri realized Red was up and about. A rush of panic shot through him and he jumped – nearly enough to spill his tea. Thankfully, he managed to keep it contained. The panic wasn’t so easy to control, but Two’s paw pulling him against him brought him back to remember that Red was a welcome pokemon in his life. The Zoroark was roaming around aimlessly. Seemingly he was having a rough night, too. Ri sensed Two considering inviting Red – thankfully Two waited to sense how he felt about it before following through.

[i]It's fine, [/i]Ri assured him. [i]

As long as it doesn’t remind you, [/i]Two said. Ri nodded.

[i]Could help distract, [/i]he suggested.

[i]Would be nice, [/i]Two agreed. With a moment’s break, Two addressed Red.

[i]We’re in the office. Dark.

[/i]Ri sensed Red was surprised, but he seemed thankful as he showed up in the door frame. Feeling around he searched for one of the chairs and sat in it, swinging his hair around the chair and turning in the general direction he’d guessed Ri and Two were.

“It’s been a while,” Red commented quietly. Even though he was careful to be quiet it felt like yelling to Ri, loud compared to the almost unnaturally gentle sound of Two’s voice in his mind.

[i]… A long time,[/i] Ri agreed, his telepathic voice weak.

“It seems like it’s that sort of night,” Red drew out, “I was having trouble sleeping too.”

[i]I suppose it’s ‘lucky’ it happened today of all days, [/i]Two figured.

“It’s nice to have company when you can’t sleep,” Red agreed awkwardly.

[i]Couldn’t’ve ever done this alone, [/i]Ri agreed. He shuddered; he didn’t want to think about that, either.

The three remained pretty quiet; Red was accustomed to how their sleepless nights worked. The company helped, but Ri got a little discouraged that they weren’t talking or anything. It was a little rough, he didn’t feel up for talking very much, and Two wasn’t disposed to speak much either when Ri was feeling the way he was. Luckily, Ri sensed another aura stir, then realized Blue was waking up, too.

[i]It’s a weird night, [/i]Two said.

“Huh?” Red asked.

[i]Sensing Blue wake up too, [/i]Ri explained.

“It [i]is [/i]a weird night,” Red agreed.

Ri shuffled in Two’s arms awkwardly; he felt he wanted Blue around, but he felt fragile and sensitive, too.

[i]He senses already, [/i]Two pointed out.

Soon after there was a knock at the door.

[i]Keep it dark, [/i]Two warned. Blue seemed confused but he walked in, and – using those same aura senses Ri had – he found the other chair and sat in it easily, turning to face the mates lying in the nook together.

“I think I heard things going on,” Blue said. “Is this…” he trailed off, but Ri sensed he was wondering about why everyone was awake. Ri appreciated Blue’s sensitivity.

[i]Fine, [/i]Ri said, he said it understanding Blue could see some of the technicalities of it, though.

[i]Dreams, [/i]Two explained. [i]Sometimes… they happen.

[/i]“… Oh,” Blue realized. “Is it –”

[i]We need some distraction, [/i]Two admitted. [i]It’s not good to dwell on things.

[/i]“It’s… hard to know what to talk about,” Red admitted. “You two are… tender, when it’s like this.”

Two huffed, realizing he needed to carry the start of the discussion. He thought for a moment, considering what to talk about. Ri sipped at his tea, hoping he could find comfort again. Even Two was nervous, as much as he could sense he wasn’t always the best at judging ‘vibe.’ Ri tried to be reassuring – as long as it was innocuous, Ri would appreciate it. Two huffed, thinking something up.

[i]Do you remember my old spoon, Ri? That stupid thing I used to battle with?

[/i]Ri huffed a weak laugh.

[i]That thing was huge, [/i]he teased[i].

[/i]“A – a spoon?” Blue wondered. Two flustered; he seemed like he forgot he hadn’t mentioned it to the Lucario before.

[i]I used to battle with a giant spoon, [/i]Two admitted. [i]I summoned it a bit like how you and Ri summon your bones.[/i]

“Why a spoon?” Blue asked.

[i]I read somewhere in human media strong psychics could bend spoons, [/i]Two admitted, awkwardly. [i]I needed something I could protect myself with, at least at a short distance.

[/i]“A spoon?” Blue teased.

Ri could sense Two’s embarrassment spiking.

[i]He was a lot younger, [/i]Ri defended.

“I think I remember that thing too,” Red reminisced. “Not as funny as it seems when he’s using it to swirl up a giant vortex around him.”

Ri sensed Blue try to process that thought – it didn’t seem to go how Red intended.

“I – I can’t imagine it not being a [i]little[/i] funny,” Blue teased.

[i]I – why did I bring this up? [/i]Two complained.

[i]It’s distracting~ [/i]Ri teased.

[i]… I guess that’s why, [/i]Two admitted, with a huff.

“But – you all never really talk about those early years,” Blue pointed out. “Is it a good time to?”

The mood changed – talking about that stuff seriously was a different mood from the vague teasing Two had intended at first. The bright moment faded, leaving just a vacuum of bad memories for everyone.

[i]I suppose it’s better than the alternative, [/i]Two figured.

“We do try and leave that stuff in the past, don’t we,” Red acknowledged. “I think – maybe I could talk, I don’t mind thinking about it as much as you two do and you two need distracting more than I do.”

[i]We – appreciate it, [/i]Ri offered, awkwardly. Red huffed, thinking.

“I don’t think I can speak for Ri, but Two and I both were a lot… spunkier,” Red started. “When I caught Two it took some work to get it into Two’s head I didn’t really want anything of him.”

Ri felt Two get tight around him, he didn’t seem to like the turn of the conversation.

[i]I was created by scientists who wanted to use me then manipulated by Giovanni, [/i]Two defended. [i]Can you blame me?

[/i]“No,” Red admitted. “I think the only thing that got through to you was releasing you,” he pointed out.

[i]I was…[/i]

Ri sensed Two wasn’t the happiest thinking through this stuff. Ri felt bad, he didn’t want Two to have to think through stuff he didn’t want to.

[i]It took me a little while to process I was caught, [/i]Two admitted. [i]You can understand I wasn’t happy.

[/i]“I realized it,” Red acknowledged. “After, you calmed down a little.”

“I still can’t imagine you had Two in a poke ball,” Blue admitted.

[i]It was just… to get me to stop being a nuisance, [/i]Two defended.

“Oi, you’re right, but don’t downplay it!” Red teased.

[i]Can we talk about something else? [/i]Two asked, pointedly.

“A – alright,” Red backed off. “Then… if I’m honest, that was probably one of the first moments that made me think… ‘there’s more to pokemon than battling,’ Two. You [i]hated[/i] the ball, you made me recognize that I had a living thing in there. All the other pokemon I’d caught until then agreed with me, so they just let me own them.”

[i]That… I appreciate a little more, [/i]Two admitted.

“Is that what made you want to be a pokemon?” Blue wondered.

“I – guess,” Red deflected, shuffling in his seat even though it was dark. Though – if Ri looked, he could see Red’s crystal blue eyes subtly reflecting whatever little light there was. “Two being able to talk, having thoughts and feelings of his own that I learned I needed to respect, made me think of the thoughts and feelings of the pokemon who [i]were[/i] happy under my care. I spent much of my Champion years trying to learn to understand my pokemon better. When I followed Ri and Two to Ri’s old world, it was to… try out being a pokemon, to try and relate to the ones I knew a little better.”

“Wait – that’s something you’ve never explained before,” Blue interjected.

Ri whined; he didn’t want to think about that place.

[i]Entercards, [/i]Two explained. [i]I don’t understand them myself, whatever they are they let Ri teleport across dimensions. Please, move on, [/i]he pushed.

“Well… when I came back, stopped being Zoroark, I felt… empty. Knowing I could talk with pokemon, relate to them like the people I knew they were, be the proper friend to my pokemon that I [i]wanted[/i] to be…

[i]It wasn’t just that, [/i]Ri pointed out. Again, Red shuffled, cursing Ri’s senses benignly. As much as Ri understood, Red apologized, sensitive to the state Ri was in. Ri appreciated it.

“Fine, it wasn’t,” Red admitted. “I… felt better as a Zoroark. I [i]liked[/i] it. When I came back… I couldn’t use Illusion anymore, I couldn’t use moves, I walked differently, talked differently, [i]felt[/i] different. I… can’t really explain it,” he admitted.

“So you decided to become a pokemon?” Blue prodded.

“Well, yeah,” Red admitted. “I didn’t know when I did it how big a change I was making to my life, but… I don’t regret it.”

“I wonder, what happened to those pokemon you mentioned?”

Red stalled – he seemed uncomfortable, but he continued on.

“They’re still with Professor Oak,” he explained. “Haven’t seen them in a long time.”

“What happened?” Blue asked.

“Oak tried treating me like a pokemon, I didn’t like it,” Red said. “Beyond that… I changed a little more than I thought when I took being a Zoroark seriously. Since then, I stopped being Red the human, I’m Red the Zoroark now. I did this to try to relate to them better, but… I guess I ended up drifting away from them, didn’t I?”

Red trailed off – suddenly he became pretty sullen.

“You know, maybe I should’ve talked about something else, too,” Red admitted. The room was quiet for a little while, marking how rough things were for the pokemon in the room.

“I – I was thinking about my old trainer,” Blue offered, in an effort to distract Red. “Sometimes I wonder about him, too. Probably doesn’t worry about me one bit… gets under my fur sometimes.”

“That’s why you left him, though,” Red pointed out.

“I guess,” Blue agreed. “Still, I can’t help wondering sometimes what my life would be like if I’d stayed with him.”

Ri wasn’t sure how to take Blue’s admission.

“I’m happier,” Blue assured them, “I just… think.”

“You can’t help wondering,” Red offered. “There’s lots of things in life that are like that,” he suggested. “Just… can’t let the ‘what-ifs’ keep you from thinking about the ‘what-could-bes.’”

“I… I try,” Blue admitted. “It just comes up sometimes.”

The conversation died down again, and Red and Blue were [i]both[/i] getting down and lost in their own thoughts. Ri had wanted distraction, but it seemed like everyone needed distraction. If Two had a tough moment, Red had a tough moment, Blue had a tough moment…

Ri huffed nervously, he supposed it was his turn to open up a little.

[i]I can’t get it out of my mind, [/i]he started. [i]It’s not… like it’s always overwhelming, but it’s always there.

[/i]He gulped, suddenly realizing that his little ‘confession’ held more weight than everyone else’s. He shuddered, but tried to continue. It wasn’t like it was anything these pokemon didn’t know about already.

[i]I just… I know I own myself now, but… even after all this time, they’re still in my mind. A little piece of me tells me I’m nothing, a voice in my head that I can’t get rid of.

[/i]Everyone around Ri was quiet. Ri tried to understand, it was a lot heavier than what everyone else was dealing with. Just adding more weight on to their shoulders.

“If you were nothing, we wouldn’t be here,” Red said, straightly.

[i]… I know, [/i]Ri said. [i]I just… need to remind myself.

[/i]Ri knew, it was a hassle to keep telling him “We’re with you.” But…

[i]It’s hard to keep it in my mind too, [/i]he said, sadly.

“We know,” Blue assured him.

[i]We understand, [/i]Two added on. A comforting bunt on his head and some gentle rubs on his chest – the care of a loving, devoted mate.

[i]I know back, [/i]Ri assured his mate and friends. [i]It’s just…

None of us blame you for it, [/i]Two asserted. [i]You fight it, it doesn’t matter that you need help.

[/i]Ri tried to take comfort. He [i]did [/i]fight it. He’d gotten a lot better, even, but tonight was a stark reminder that he didn’t always win.

[i]I’m thankful for you all, [/i]Ri assured his friends. [i]I can be like this now and, tomorrow, be myself and it’s just… OK. Well, not OK, but, at least, understood.

You’re a strong Lucario, [/i]Two assured him.

Ri grunted; it felt a little flat like always, but he understood what his mate was saying.

[i]I’m not doing awful, [/i]Ri assured everyone. [i]

[/i]“It’s just a weird night,” Red suggested. “It’s been weird for all of us, nobody’s going to blame you for having a weird night too.”

[i]Right, [/i]Ri remembered. He sighed. [i]I’m not the only one laying down some difficult stuff.

[/i]“That’s… I guess why we’re all here together,” Blue reasoned. “We all needed someone to talk to.”

… [i]Do I have to take my turn? [/i]Two wondered out loud.

“I think I got you for you,” Red assured him.

[i]… Good, [/i]Two said in relief.

Ri didn’t blame Two for being a little more closed off – he was always more reserved than the rest of them were.

[i]Drink your tea, [/i]Two reminded him, [i]it’s getting cold.

Right,[/i] Ri remembered. He sipped – at least, all the comforting flavors were still present.

[i]It still tastes pretty good, [/i]Ri said.

[i]Good[/i]. Two bunted the top of his head again. [i]Right now as long as you’re feeling better, I’m fine, [/i]Two assured him. Ri relaxed deep; it meant a lot for Two to be so forward like that. Something, he felt, needed reciprocation.

[i]I’m better, [/i]Ri said. [i]A lot better.

[/i]Ri nestled against his mate, feeling a lot more comfortable. It was still dark – and Ri didn’t want to disrupt the sleepy feeling that was coming to him – but he didn’t feel like he needed the dark anymore. He whimpered unwittingly; it was scary how easily he could slip. He had friends though, and an amazing mate he cared a lot for. He didn’t want to give up on them – especially on his mate. His music, his chocolate and coffee, the bar – there was a lot that mattered to Ri, he couldn’t let a team of people who didn’t even exist anymore threaten it.

[i]… We were trying to talk about silly stuff, [/i]Ri realized.

“I guess it didn’t turn out that way,” Red said.