Break from the Rain: Re-write
A rewrite/reimagining of my first story from a decade ago, to see how far I’ve come. If you’re a fellow writer with feedback, please leave a comment. If this story did it for you, please also leave a comment.
Looking down into a rapidly emptying gin cocktail, Eli bemoaned how much the weather outside matched his misery. He felt every bit as small as his short stature, and every bit as powerless as his skinny frame. Eli’s love life had been a trial in disappointment, and tonight was about as sullen as he’d ever been. A friend from work mentioned he had seen Eli’s boyfriend out at the clubs last night; which isn’t at all his sister’s place a few towns away like he had been told. This was the third relationship in a row he’d been betrayed, and love had never sounded like a worse idea. With a burning swig, Eli downed the rest of his liquid comfort.
The bell on the door to his neighborhood bar jingled, and Chloe’s tall, chubby lapine frame stepped through, blue eyes surveying the patrons, already aware she was probably here on a rescue mission. With Eli’s luck, he wasn’t too unfamiliar looking with his head down, holding a glass. Eli looked over with one bloodshot eye and sighed, not actually wanting to explain his situation again. “You told me about this one, Chloe. I should have listened.” Motioning to the waitress with two grey furred fingers for a beer of her own, Chloe couldn’t help but feel a little exasperated herself. She hadn’t exactly heard of a monogamous flight attendant before, and her protective instincts were sounding off from the very beginning. “Well, you said it, not me.” she responded, her commiseration on display.
Chloe and Eli had been thick as thieves since the sixth grade. Eli didn’t find himself with many friends, discovering his sexuality far before he was any age where he could do so without being mocked by his peers. Always being shit at sports, naturally nerdy and introverted, and a bit sassy and combative, he could count his friends on one hand. Chloe grew up awkward as well, far taller than any girl in her class and having to deal with the additional stigma of being intersex on top of that; some of the more form fitting feminine sports uniforms would have put on quite a show. She was a tomboy and a tinkerer by nature, and far more likely to be found in grease stained overalls than a sundress. The casual cruelty of school days often left her sitting out on the margins as well. They wound up scheduled together in a few of the same electives, and discovered they had a lot more in common as outcasts then they would have thought, and developed a pretty fast friendship. Chloe sometimes daydreamed about why she felt so protective of this little jerk, but always felt at home in his company. A decade later, as her beers were placed on the table, she snapped out of her diversion once again.
“You’re a good guy Eli, you know you don’t deserve this.” Maybe Eli was receptive to these platitudes the first few times, but now they ricochet directly off. “Please don’t blame yourself, you can’t be so mad at yourself for trying.” Eli slumped back and began counting the LEDs in the light fixture. He knew he owed his friend a little more optimism, but mustering the effort seemed nauseating. “I’m mad at everything, Chloe, why not me too while I’m at it.” The rabbit’s face wrinkled, knowing she was getting an honest answer if not an encouraging one. If her ears weren’t pressed under her ballcap. “Hey, buck up, ok?” she pleaded. “Sorry I didn’t get here in time to stop you from getting to this point, but the least I can do is hear you out.” She handed Eli his beer as a peace offering, finally managing a grin on her buddy’s face. With a sigh and a small bow, Eli nodded his head to her wisdom and took a sip of her offering. That, unfortunately for him, was the second effort that felt nauseating. With a gulp, he quickly found himself wearing that offering down the front of his shirt, as well as the four cocktails before that. Chloe quickly flashed their waitress with the cut-off hand motion across her throat, and went to reach for her wallet. Judging by the dismay on the waitress’s face, this one was going to cost extra gratuity. Handing Eli the tossed over bar towel, Chloe took command of the situation. “Ok soldier, it’s the couch for you tonight. Gods know I can’t let you go home alone like this. C’mon bud, let’s get you to the van.” The bell attached to the door rang again, as Chloe escorted her drunken charge to her beat up work van. Eli didn’t remember much about the trip home other than the passing of street lights and the lingering scent of motor oil.
The next morning announced itself to Eli with a throbbing headache and a parched mouth. He wished he could declare today no, good, and try again tomorrow. With some effort he opened his eyes, and groaned once he realized his surroundings. Chloe must have rescued him from his misguided boozing. After the wave of regret of letting his now ex boyfriend get to him so totally, and the second wave of how he decided to handle it, all he could do was let out a long defeated groan. A bottle of water, a bottle of aspirin, a PB&J sandwich and a note scribbled “For You, Dumbass <3” was a welcome gift nonetheless. He heard the shower running, and felt grateful she took the time to leave him a get well present first. He then heard the sound of the clothes dryer, which probably explained where his shirt and jeans ended up. A sickly burp explained the rest of the mystery. Eli grabbed the blanket Chloe had tossed over him, and set about curing what ailed him.
In the shower, Chloe was also overwhelmed. Not by a hangover like Eli, but by her hormones making themselves known. For one thing, Chloe was in rut. Lapines were well known for their natural virility, and being intersex didn’t make seasonal changes any easier on her, with the full force of the bunny genome having its effect. She knew how to manage, making excuses so Eli wouldn’t see her in such a state for years now, but she was having a hard time with it this morning. For another thing, it was awfully hard to suppress her feelings for the boy on her sofa seeing him nearly naked, and vulnerable. Eli’s scent worked on her instincts in a way no other human ever had, but she valued her confidant too much to act on them. After succumbing to a curious inhale above his boxers as he snored in her living room, her urges were suddenly and powerfully very front of mind.
With the water lazily running off her fur masking the noise, Chloe was doing what she could to calm down. Leaning against the shower wall, one hand was stroking her impressive hermhood, working her girth. The other was tucked under her impressive sack, rubbing her button, small whimpers running into gritted teeth. All Chloe’s body wanted to do was cum, and the fervor of which she glided a padded palm across her length gave her what she needed. Vaguely aiming at the drain Chloe’s impressive cock erupted, her feminine half clenching and gushing out its own contribution to the mess. She worried the squeal she made might have been audible, as she rinsed her mess away with the shower water. She didn’t hear any stirring until she was drying off and feeling some relief, regaining control, and blowdrying her fur. At least when she got dressed and rejoined him in the living room, he’d have some damn pants on.
A short while later Chloe stopped by the kitchen, correctly predicting one water bottle wasn’t going to do it, and playfully tossed him another from the fridge. Of course he didn’t catch it, not the most agile at the best of times, but he muttered a thanks either way. “Sorry Chloe.” he stammered on. “I hope I didn’t mess up any plans.” Chloe plopped herself down on the sofa next to him with a bounce, and leaned over her smaller friend. “It’s ok, bud. You’d do the same for me, I’m sure.” Chloe had planned a solo camping trip, always the outdoorsy type, but decided to seize the opportunity and hopefully put off the moping until Eli’s next misadventure. “Maybe this burned a little more daylight than I wanted, but you should join me at the campsite, get the fuck out of your condo for a change. I know you don’t feel like being there right now anyway.” Eli was very much an urban soul, but he admitted the thought of an escape did sound pretty therapeutic, and playfully leaned into Chloe’s arm. “Ok, ok, fine. But I think I need to make use of your shower. And your mouthwash. And maybe something stronger than an aspirin if you have something like that lying around.” Chloe chortled. “Two of out of the three my man, and I’m not cut out for pharmacy school. Now go rinse off, you smell like an ashtray” she lied.
With a stumbling pace, still cursing whomever invented the hangover, Eli stepped into the still damp shower and turned the faucet to scalding. After a wince, came relief as the memories of the bar started to wash off. Eli took a look at the shampoo on offer; abundant, but cheap. Chloe’s money always went to project cars and not cosmetics. Shrugging, he lathered up anyway, enjoying the warm soap and water feeling.
As he lingered under the showerhead, something began to replace his headache with a different, all-encompassing feeling. As he went to wash between his legs, he noticed his smaller cock was rock hard, and at full attention. Not wanting to be the kind of houseguest that would beat off in your shower, Eli did his best to ignore it. But he couldn’t force the thought out of his mind; and he couldn’t stop thinking about Chloe, either. He explored his own body with his soapy hands, wondering why every part of him seemed just so sensitive. The sound of a blender starting up from the kitchen shocked him back to reality. Hurriedly, he turned the water off, borrowed a towel, and got dressed. His body calmed down once he got out of the shower which was a good thing, because his jeans were a little too skinny to be modest in.
Meeting in the living room, keys to her van in one hand, Chloe handed Eli a travel mug full of smoothie with the other. “C’mon bud, light’s wasting.” With her ears drooping down under her ballcap and her backpack already on, Chloe thumbed towards the door. She wondered if this was a great idea, with how forceful her pheromones had been on her earlier, but wasn’t actually worried. She had herself under control, and knew that she wouldn’t start anything too untoward, especially in her friend’s vulnerable state.
The sun shining off the interstate had finally stopped hurting so bad, as Eli finally let himself get into the song playing on the radio. The campsite wasn’t far, just an hour and change off the highway, but the symbolic distance felt great to leave behind. Eli let himself enjoy the fresh breeze coming through the window, even if Chloe’s van also meant you got a sting of 10W-30 alongside it. They gossiped with their usual candor, topics straying from this to that. Chloe got to finally lay it on him a bit for choosing a flight attendant, Eli teasing her about what they’d do if this rustbucket van didn’t make the trip back. Sticks and leaves crinkled under tires as they went off the pavement for their last half mile, jostling back and forth on uneven roads. By the time Chloe parked, there wasn’t much afternoon left to speak of.
While not cut out for the rustic life, Eli was finding it enjoyable retrieving some bigger branches and logs to dry in the campfire and keep it going after they ran out of what they had brought along. Less enjoyable was the crack of thunder in the dusky sky, and even less enjoyable was the veritable flash flood that followed. Chloe didn’t sense the rain coming either, or maybe she’d have set up the tent before unloading everything else. Eli dumped his gathered wood by the fireplace as he darted through the van’s rear doors for shelter. Chloe wasn’t too far behind him. As they both sat down on the van’s carpeted floor, using the bedroll and pillows left inside to prop up, the unfortunate pair struggled from withholding a defeated laugh.
With nothing left to do but wait for Mother Nature to knock it off, Chloe pulled a deck of cards out of her center console and started dealing blackjack. The radio hummed along into the evening. A dome light in the cargo area replaced the rapidly setting sun as thick raindrops continued to batter the faded steel roof. After about a dozen hands and more canderous conversation, Eli’s poorly insulated frame started feeling the effects of the incoming chill. Figuring Chloe wouldn’t mind, he tossed his soggy shirt over the passenger seat, stretching his arms, and picking up his next hand. He was fully unaware of the countdown to detonation he had just began.
Taking Eli along with nothing but good intentions, Chloe felt her practiced control tested by the situation. Memories of his scent hitting something ancient and needy in her brain danced right back in to her consciousness. Her eyes darted from her cards to his lean but toned frame, and the question of what Eli meant to her was internally repeated. Feeling her cock harden under her carpenter jeans, Chloe adjusted her sitting position. After they were too bored of cards to continue, she tried her best to invest in whatever new nerdy passion he was ratting on about. It was a cool 60 degrees in the van, but she felt her lungs move a bit quicker, trying to regulate an ignited furnace.
Uncharacteristically, Eli stammered a bit in the middle of the long yarn he was on about. He picked up his topic once, then dropped it again. Exasperated, he looked directly at Chloe and tried talking with his hands as well. With a huff he went to collect himself; and then found himself more lost than ever. Eli thought while he was for sure a queer sort, he was a very average person. Unbeknownst to him, he was a lot more susceptible to the scent of furry sexual pheromones than he could ever imagine it to be. And with a hyper virile buxom bunny trapped in a small van with him over the past few hours, he was getting more at once than he could ever comprehend. He didn’t have a pubescent lifetime of experience controlling these urges. He was about to find out Chloe might as well not have either.
Chit chat gave way to silence as the pair looked each other up and down. Chloe’s length was pressing into her boxers so hard it hurt. She could smell her arousal between her legs as she began to glisten. Eli’s hands wandered on his skin again, confusion taking a backseat to just how electric every nerve he had felt. The dulcet tones of classic rock and the whirr of a recirculating heater didn’t remove any tension from the silence. Trying her best to behave while fighting an impulse to pant, Chloe adjusted her seating position once again, accidentally flashing her now unmistakeable bulge to the interested party staring on.
With no natural immunity to this new chemical sensation, Eli cracked first.
Breathing heavily, he crawled the length of the cab over to his much larger lover. Having no bandwidth for modesty left, he pressed his head between Chloe’s legs and deeply inhaled. The full tang of musk went to work commanding his biology, and choice worked its way out of the equation. Femininity and masculinity combined to send sparks through his brain, making him shudder from head to toe. Every stressed muscle in his neck loosened, his very modest prick surged with blood, and his lust overpowered him.
Caught in some concentration and some shock while looking down at the boy, Chloe still had enough of a mind to quickly put the pieces together.
She wasn’t very worried about the effect Eli had on her. Small doses had never been a real problem, she had managed to stifle her crush on her treasured friend for this long, and she knew if she didn’t get his mind off of his bastard ex he’d be moping for weeks. She hadn’t considered for a moment what she could do if her scent had the same effect on him. Watching him treasure every waft into his lungs as he nuzzled her intimacy, she began to stop caring about anything else. Here was the boy who confessed his every fear to her, the one that allowed her to be the spirit she was born to be, the one she helped nurture to be so free himself, praying at the altar of the sexual being she always was.
As a bouquet of human pheromones responded in kind to Chloe’s senses, she gave up on having any choice at all, and nature sought to reward her for finally listening.
It didn’t take much effort for Chloe to casually push Eli to the side. He was as out of control as he was the night before, but couldn’t be more present. Eli stared as Chloe pulled her shirt over her head, knocking off her ballcap, and her loaded rack bounced free from the tension of her tee. She unclasped her basic bra and teased his attention, pausing before throwing it into the growing heap with her top. Enjoying the feeling of control she teased her chest forward, watching his starving eyes take in the look of her perky pink nipples poking through short grey and white fur. The snap of the button of her jeans guided his eyes further, as she peeled off her jeans and boxers with one smooth motion. With the unnatural confidence her genetics were granting her, Chloe spread her thick thighs apart, affording her partner a clear view of her nearly full mast erection standing proudly out of her sheath, two balls bigger than Eli’s put together, and her wetness shining right below them. With a crook of her finger, she invited him back to his previous position. As another clap of thunder punctuated the moment, he eagerly accepted.
Thirsting for more of her essence, Eli buried his face back in her crotch. Now unshielded and exposed, he openly moaned at his next dose. A padded paw goaded him, stroking his hair, pulling him into her. Sniffs turned into exploratory licks, which turned into outright worship. Eli lavished her length with long slurps from length to tip, pausing at her cumslit to taste the drop of pre he had already earned. He had never wanted anything more in his life. He swirled his practiced tongue around her swollen cockhead, falling deeper into his new state of lust. Every bit of her was soft, her fur, her plush thighs, everything. A confident furred hand raised up his chin. Before he could protest being removed from his task, Chloe’s other hand lifted up her generous sack, giving Eli a full view of her feminine half. Understanding the gesture, Eli lashed his tongue into her wet pussy, mapping out her walls, desperate for more of the bunny honey he was being offered. With an approving coo, Chloe leaned back in no hurry to interrupt him. She continued to pet his head, thick thighs squeezing his ears in encouragement.
The embers of breeding instinct set themselves ablaze in Chloe’s mind. Her movements became more aggressive, firmly pressing Eli’s lips into her dripping pussy, or tugging him upwards by his soft hair, then back down onto her cock. Sputtering noises rang off of aluminum as her powerful body grew unsatisfied at the pace he was taking her pride down his throat. Chloe pulled him into an angle to find the last bit of available space in Eli’s gullet and quickly filled it, pressing his lips into her sheathe. A moment of self control appeared in Chloe’s musings, but Eli’s subservient tongue emerging to lick the bottom of the base of her dick, teasing her cumvein, disappeared that stray distraction just as quickly.
Her hips sprang up as her fingers locked down, topping Eli from the bottom and pounding out her relief, stretching his throat. The newly minted fucktoy swore he could hear it when she let go, a river of cum bypassing his mouth and depositing directly into his stomach. Chloe almost howled at her release, holding Eli’s face balls deep as her lengthy orgasm shot forth. Cum dribbled down Eli’s cheeks as a blast of hot wetness from Chloe’s now drooling cunt hit his sternum. Eli’s body rewarded his submissiveness with an orgasm of his own, as his short cock unloaded untouched into his boxers, just a bucket compared to the ocean he was eagerly drinking down. Eli was reluctantly pulled off of her still rock hard cock, as Chloe was still present enough to know he needed to breathe. Chloe’s bunny nose twitched as she picked up on the deposit left in Eli’s boxers, as she let out her familiar chortle. She wondered which God favored her if things were going to be this easy.
“What a pain you can be sometimes Eli, the only thing I didn’t wash for you.” With easy grace, Chloe rolled him over and pinned him to the oil stained carpet. Her nimble hands popped open his fly, and shucked him of what was left of his damp, yet now steaming, clothes. “Here, now you can’t get them dirty again.” Chloe pinned him down in a passionate kiss, one she’d mused about for so long. Her much larger stature smothered him, but she could feel him radiating, every bit in heat as she was. Their tongues danced in passion, with the bunny occasionally stopping to lick off the remnants of his service. Eli tossed his hands around his lover’s neck as her hands went exploring, larger hands grasping his cute pert ass. All of the air escaped his lungs at the feeling; he looked back at her with everything she needed to know.
Chloe leaned back and dipped two fingers into her honeypot, getting them slick. She pressed them to his pucker, snickering and smirking again when she didn’t meet much resistance. Her rut had made him pliant and willing, turning Eli’s subservient streak up to its maximum, his body doing everything it can to be ravished. A press on his prostate arched up his back, and the wonderful sensation of being stretched by a third finger sent him right back down. He was putty in her hands as she did what she could to prepare him for her girth. When his dick fired off again, painting himself with his second load, Chloe knew she had him right where she wanted him.
“Please, I need you…” was all Eli could manage to spit out. It was all the conversation needed to happen. Chloe quickly rolled him onto his hands and knees where she wanted him. She took one last focused sniff of the damp air, looked at the fog forming on the windows, then cherished the sight of her hermhood set to invade him. Eli moaned like a whore as he felt her thick cockhead make easy work of any lingering resistance. She coaxed more sounds out of him as she firmly, but gently, pressed her way inside. Inch after inch of dick was spreading him wide, his nerves alight with pleasure, as she continued her steady advance.
Chloe’s blood simmered, every fibre of her being screaming at her to core the boy out, pound him senseless, mate him with her innate wild passion, but she waited for him to get accustomed to her footlong breeding tool. Knowing Eli for as long as she has, she should have expected to him be selfish. Eli began rocking his hips back and forth, desperate to feel more of this wonderful friction. Even now, a brat is going to be a brat. Pushed to their limits, a breeder is also going to be a breeder.
Eli felt her hands grab on almost painfully to the top of her boyish hips. He definitely felt her power when he was pulled sharply back to the base of her cock, feeling himself bounce off of her cushy body. He gasped, almost cumming again on the spot, his guts molding themselves in her shape. He wasn’t going to be allowed the breath she just knocked out of him back anytime soon.
Chloe hammered into Eli’s body with powerful, thudding strokes. She pulled himself to the edge of her tip, and slammed her cock back in. Eli moaned, fingers trying to dig into the ground for purchase, enamored with the feeling of her heavy balls slapping into his taint. Chloe was far bigger, far stronger, and just far better than any lover he’d ever been with. Eli’s right elbow gave out as his second untouched orgasm hit him, the last contents of his smallish nuts further staining the carpet below him. A hand grabbed his hair and pulled him back roughly, re-aligning him for his pistoning and forcing him back to attention. Eli was pounded straight through his afterglow as he lost track of where one orgasm stopped and the next one began. His insides spasmed and rippled, milking Chloe’s cock, treating her to delightful tightness.
Wet slaps rang out in increasing volume as Chloe’s copious pre lubricated her dominant efforts. No traces of the well composed, protective woman remained as she claimed her long sought prize. For what seemed like hours, both of them basked in the reward of fulfilled instincts, furiously mating. Eli’s arms gave out on him again, spurring Chloe to lean further forward and pound down into his stretched out hole. She felt her balls begin to clench up again, and hilted herself to the root. Searing heat filled Eli’s insides as another dry orgasm shattered his mind. He felt like he could feel her pulse with every spurt fired into him, filling every available space it could take. He could hear Chloe’s beautiful satisfied moans behind him, dopamine flooding his receptors for a job well done. She could barely stay upright herself as her massive load began to trickle off; if she was capable of getting him pregnant, she would have. Once her flow finally stopped, she flopped on her side, bringing Eli with her, her steel length still buried inside him. The drumming of rain against the van’s roof subsided. Chloe whispered a brief prayer to the Gods for small coincidences.
Release granted both of them sanity and presence. Silently they both listened to the quiet radio.Chloe spooned her lover until she started to soften. A much more aware but no less enamored Eli kissed her arms, and made sure to gesture her secure embrace was welcome. Chloe’s length finally retreated back into her sheath. Eli felt her essence run out of him, but didn’t dare move, unable to imagine any life but in her arms.
Dawn came almost as quickly as Eli had. Through the night, the newly minted lovers talked out what it all meant. Eli confessed his own pre-existing crush he had buried down, not wanting her to think less of him because of what she had helped him work through, not wanting to lose her. Much like last night at the bar, and many nights before, Chloe tried to remind him of what made him a good person. He found himself much more willing to listen. They spent the rest of the trip indulging in conversation, indulging in food, indulging in each other. Chloe was very happy to find that even when he was a little bit more used to her pheromones, Eli was a natural submissive. He was on cloud nine, amazed that the answer to the assertive and caring, yet free and independent partner he was looking for was right in front of him the entire time. As they drifted off the second night of their trip, they agreed they could call it a couple, and were excited to see where this all could lead.
At Eli’s neighborhood bar the next weekend, Eli was delighted the wonderful weather outside matched his elevated mood. Their small circle of friends had gathered, and the friends to lovers gossip was the delight of the room. A few of them insisted they always knew; one or two might actually have meant it. Eli took it way easier on the booze this time out, partly because he didn’t have anything to self-medicate for now, partly because he suspected his waitress was telling the bartender to water it down a bit after his last performance. Normally he’d raise a fuss, but today it couldn’t bother him a single bit as his new girlfriend pulled him in closer in the booth as he let the cheer and comfort put a smile on his face, feeling blessed as his bunny girl smiled right back.